Putting Things Back Together // Ani

[Hael [prev. reasons]]

Rhiannon Villela


What is life?

Whatever it is, I'm not living it.

I wanted to, I want to. But I can't.

I can't.

I can't because I don't know how.

All I know how to do is what I'm doing right now. I stare at the ceiling and lie in bed and do nothing, for days and days. Sometimes I sit up and stare at the walls, my knees tucked under my chin and pulled to my chest. That's all I've been going since she left.

I haven't seen a living being it what feels like years. That's why I'm surprised when Gabriel steps into my room.

She has her face with slightly softer features. Her eyes is the same. Her hair is the same long strands. My head turns sharply away from her, I can't even look at her. It must be horrible for her. Knowing she has the same looks, receiving pained looks from others and herself when she looks in the mirror. I smashed those right after Aurora left, the remains still lay on my floor.

"Rhiannon?"

I feel a hand laying upon mine, and my eyes dart towards it before forcing myself to look into her eyes.

My heart is stabbed but I keep looking anyway. Her eyes is a storm and calming at the same time. I flash back to looking into those eyes when she was born. I looked into the same eyes but they had often cast sharper looks because they belonged to Aurora.

"Can you please live again?"

I nod because I know she is in as much pain as I am. If I don't put things back together we will both die, literally. I don't want Gabriel to die.

My arms wrap tightly around her shoulders and pull her into my embrace. "Yes, Gabriel, we have to try."

And then I'm walking through unfamiliar spaces. Gabriel has disappeared into her room. The house is silent, I leave it behind. Determination forces me to go on a walk before heading to get some substance that resembles food and is edible.

I'm breathing and walking in a haze until I knock into somebody. The impact knocks me over, I'm desperate for air.

I don't want to get back up again.
_{table by reasons}