playing with fire. sonja x may.

[k!ah]

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S O N J A A R C O P E L L O

{ the voices inside my head ;

Your fingers play with the small pieces of wood. The person- the guide- at the stand had shown you how to produce the flames, hell he had gotten down on his hands and knees and produced one right in front of you. You had watched carefully as the flames, starting at nothing more than mere sparks, progressed into something close to a ball of fire. At first fear had consumed your body making you back away from the threatening ball of heat. But after a moment, after your initial fright you calm down and look into the depths of the flames that the man had created. In the hospital your fires were always shielded from you. The doctors were scared that you might do something rash and hurt yourself, or even worse. To them you were unstable, a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Now you are making your own fire, arranging the small sticks just like the man had. Just like the instructor you place each stick carefully knowing that it had to be perfect if you were gong to create a fire that you could be proud of. Fire still scared you, it scared you in a way that you never be able to explain. But fire, which was controlled by your very hand, was the type of fire that only made you uncomfortable. You knew you had to learn how to fire, fire was going to be your survival. It was Ironic really. Fire is what took away what you love but may be the key to you living your life past the age of 18. You had seem people freeze to death on previous games, you had seen them die of food poisoning, or water poisoning. Fire was essential in this game, thus you were going to master it-

A sneeze slips past your lips making your hand jerk forwards and destroying your nice neat pile of stick. You watch as a few roll a few feet away, the others scattering closer in a mess that looked nothing like the masterpiece the instructor had created. “Damit.” The curse slips passed your lips without even a second thought, your hands scurrying to gather the sticks that would construct your ball of heat. It doesn't take you long to have all the pieces gathered once again and tucked away in a neat pile beside you. You look down at the file, you eyes taking i he eleven lengths of wood and you tilt your head to the side. Fuck the rules, not to carefully you place the sticks down so that they were in a pile that looked nothing like the instructors. Then you reach out behind you and grab the match box.

You slip a match out easily and strike it on the side of the box and watch as a spark forms and a flame grows. You smile slightly before pressing the ever so small flame against your own pile of wood. To your amazement the flame begins to devour your wood and you watch as it grows, its hungry fingers ravage the innocent wood. The flames grow as they hunger is slowly satisfied.

Your wide green eyes take in our masterpiece and you feel a slither of pride slide through your body, closely followed by screams, screams that echoed i our own mind making your body freeze. They were the same screams that had engulfed you the morning of the reaping, the same screams that taunt you whenever you stare to intently into the inferno of flames. Hastily you take a deep breath and look away, wishing that Ruby was with you now. She would know exactly what to say, she would low exactly how to make me feel better. You are all alone little lass. No one is coming to save you this time. I won. You will die, its just a matter of whether it is sooner rather than late. You know, you could end all this now. Shove your head into the fire and you will be free. The voice, the voice that seems all so familiar engulfs your thoughts. Its unkind words making your already racing heart pound even faster in your chest. All seems to easy, doesn't it little lass. “Go away. Go away. Your not real.” Your voice is tung as the words slip past your lips. “Its not real.”

But it was real? Wasn't it?

[presto][/presto]

[Deleted]

[presto]

[*presto] may rhodes. sixteen. female. district nine. [*/presto] THE CIMARRON ROSES

May walked into the training center with a new found idea on life. She was becoming more alive here in the training center for the games then she ever had been at home. She wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or not. Bryce's words rang through her head like a little motto or mantra for her to repeat in her own mind with her own voice. She had to get home and that meant she had to learn the things that were going to keep herself and others alive. She was going to have to kill and she was going to have to not worry about that. Her sisters where why she wanted to go home but it was more than that now. She needed to live because there was more to life then the hell one went through every day. There was life in that hell and by god she was going to live it. She made her way over the fire making station and took in everything that was around her. One needed to know how to start and how to stop the flames that would consume everything if they had the chance. Flames were an amazing things. May had always found fire to be fascinating. She had been burned by a flame when she was little. There was no evidence of that burn now then the memory. Her father had been the one to rescue her but it had also been his fault for not noticing his daughter right behind him either. Flames burned away the dying and it caused the land to be come new once again. It took out what needed to be taken out. Sure fire was bad when a house was on fire and when people were burning alive but fire had a way of making everything new. She wasn't sure what the fires of hell would be for her and at the moment she didn't rightly care. She was going to learn how to make fire and how to put it out so that she could survive in whatever place they decided to put her. After all you also had to know when to start one and possibly how to hide it. She'd keep stealth in her back pocket for a bit. She would learn the other things and pick up on them as quickly as possible. She walked over to the section they were to test what they had learned. She sat down with her sticks in hand and began to place them. She didn't place them the way that the instructor told her too merely because she wanted to see how fast she could get one up and time was everything in the games. If you couldn't more fast enough things were not going to go well. She began to rub the stick that she had and after about a minute in a half she had flames erupting from her pile of sticks and it was growing stronger by the second. She smiled and from the side she began to through dirt on the little flame that was trying so hard to spark everything. She had done it and for that she smiled. May looked over to the other girl who had been making one and noticed hers was far stronger than her's had been. She walked over to that girl and looked down at the pile and the girl herself. "You alright there. You know you should probably put that out." After all it wouldn't be good if the whole place went up in flames. Or maybe it would be who knew. It was just May didn't want to be around when it went up in flames and for some darned reason she didn't want this girl getting hurt either. Part of her was screaming to her telling her to just stay away and let the other tribute hurt herself but she couldn't just do that. The truth in a thousand lies.

[/presto]

[k!ah]

[presto][/presto]

S O N J A A R C O P E L L O

{ the voices inside my head ;

your hands clutch your head as you will your mind to go blank. You didn't want to hear the mocking voice, you wanted to escape from it. Why was it still there? Why wouldn't it leave you alone? You hadn't done anything in the first place to even provoke it. You were only thinking about fire and about how fire was a weapon and and how it was also a tool of survival. But then the screams had started, the screams that haunt you. Why wont your mind just be blank? blank from anything, all you wanted was some piece and quiet, some time to sort out your thoughts sand feelings. Ever since you step forward- forced forwards- you haven't had a chance to your self. One night has gone by and for that whole night you sat on your bed, your legs curled up to your chest. your whole body aching, your mind racing and your heart pounding. Your encounter with Cystine on the train had only mad you feel worse, you were almost positive that he thought you were out of your mind, after all that is exactly how you acted.

“Its not real The voices are not real. Everything is not real, it is all in my head, thats all. In. My head.” Prove it. The voice is sudden and demanding, cold as ice. Instantly your head is up, your eyes buried within the fires depths. Prove it. You could prove it. You could prove that everything that has happened must be a mistake. You must be sleeping right? This must be a dream because Ruby promised, she promised that nothing would be able to hurt you. And being here, in the heart of the capitol hurts. So I must be dreaming. Pain is nothing if yo are dreaming. You cant hurt yourself in you are dreaming. Slowly your head tilt its to the side. Everything around you felt distant, almost like there was a barrier between you and the world. You reach out with your hand, your fingers eager to touch the burning flames, to prove to yourself that this was all a fantasy and that into real world you would be lying on your bed, seat clinging to your fair skin.

"You alright there?” The question drags you out of your thoughts and back into the present. You shake your head slightly, clearing it from the fog that seemed to have consumed you. Heat burned at your fingers tips and that when you realise that you had been about to shove your hand into the fire. You pull it back instantly, hugging it closely to your chest, your heart racing. “You know you should probably put that out.” You look from the girl, your eyes wide and troubled to the fire which had grown in size.

Your eyes widen and you back away from the wild flame, your whole body suddenly alert. You had blanked out for a few moments and in those few moments your fire had grown from one that was gentle to one that was blazing fiercely. After a moment you gain control over your self and you scoot back over to the place you had been sitting before. You tuck your legs in beneath you, and place your elbows on your knees. Your green eyes stare intently into the blazing flames. “What do you see when you look into the fire?” Your voice is almost dream like as the words slip past your lips. You don't look at the girl- who was she? What district was she from- your eyes staying glued to the inferno that was burning before you.

[presto][/presto]

[Deleted]

[*presto] may rhodes. sixteen. female. district nine. [/presto] THE ROSES OF THE CIMARRON

May watched the other tribute for a long few moments. It looked like the other may be completely in their own head. The burning crackling sticks and leaves around the called to May's attention. She put a bit of dirt on one of the areas around the fire that was starting to burn. She was going to keep those flames contained. The ones at the center would be the other tributes thing to deal with. She was watching the flames zoned out a little while later. It wasn't until the other tribute finally said something that May realized she'd been staring for so long. She's been absent mindedly putting out the flames that decided to jump to different piles of things that could be burned. Flames loved to devour everything in their path if you let them. You had to be able to contain them. May didn't know much about containing ones own passions but she figured passion and anger worked a lot like the flames. The words of encouragement from Bryce about that seemed like she was right on track with it. "May go back to doing your own thing don't bond with everyone. It'll just make it harder." There were two voices in her head saying the same thing, her own and Bryce's. She couldn't help but want to help the tribute infront of her though and she had asked her a question. It took May a minute to actually process that question however. She let a smile creep over her features. If the girl had been someone younger the slow creeping smile might have frightened her. There were so many thing that May saw in the flames. "Hope, death, passion, tragedy, and life." Four words were all that she could say because there were so many other words that went in with those four. Passion held within it anger and aggression. Tragedy held within it sorrow and despair. "Flames and fire are a beautiful creation. They hold so much power for destruction inside of them but they also have the power to sooth others and to keep one warm." May looked at the flames with a sort of love shinning through her eyes. There was a time to use fire and there was a time to not. Her hand went for more dirt as a few things heading in her direction caught fire. They really should have been putting the main one out but it seemed the both of them were a little to fascinated by it. "From the truth of a thousand lies"