seeing stars [open]

[ミSailor彡]

Emery Layne
17 | District 2 | Female



    I run my fingers through my hair. It's wet with sweat but I don't really mind. Is it weird as a female to actually enjoy the act of sweating? It means I'm pushing myself. Sweating purifies me. It rids the poison of the pressure to be the best I constantly hear from my parents. I pressure myself to be the best enough, thank you. I could criticize myself all day without a second thought but the minute someone else does, I shut down. I'd rather not hear it from anyone other than myself. I'm one of the few braving the intense heat radiating from the sun today. I love it. The winter season is what scares me. It becomes five times as hard to sweat unless I've gotten the flu. And I'd rather bypass the inconvenience of that. 

    It's midday. And while the sun is peaking at the very tip top of the sky, I return to my run. Letting the sweat drip down into my eyes. The salty sting is one I've been used to since the day I was born. I might as well have been born a machine. The little things that do phase me register no emotion across my face. Is that why people say I'm "unapproachable"? Those are the exact kinds of people I don't want to approach me anyway. Better to keep your mouth shut before I shove the words right back down your throat.  My brows furrow into a grimace as I push myself to run faster.

wham!

    I see stars. How did I end up on my back, staring straight up into that ball of fire in the sky? My fingers trace my forehead to find a huge bump right above my left eyebrow. I feel a searing pain from my temples crawling up to the crown of my head and back down to the nape of my neck. I just lay there for a minute, squeezing my eyes shut as I push on the bump as if I were trying to push it back into my skull. I peek one eye open and examine my fingers, just a bit of blood. I slowly sit up, rubbing the back of my head and feel a streak of blood run into my eye. Now that's a sting that I'm not used to. 

    I guess that's one way you could consider anger a weakness. Absorbed in my thoughts, I apparently ran straight into a misplaced looking old tree. I stare at the tree as if I hadn't seen it every single day on my normal running trail. "Fuck off, then" I sneer at the tree as I attempt to pick myself up, only leading to me tumbling over back onto my bum. I fling myself back onto my back in frustration and just stare right into the sun. Pouting. Even inanimate objects criticize me. 

[pepper.]

clover {♔} mack Each strand of bleach-blonde hair seemed to prickle at each and every part of me, regardless of it being tucked in such a neatly put bun, perfect in all it's twirled glory. What was important? The fringe that seemed to insist on covering my sight, annoying me to absolutely no end. Inanimate as it was, I couldn't scream vulgarities at it, tell it to get the fuck out of the way. I resorted to this, beginning to sought to bland remarks and hushed 'fucks' under my breath. No more than a whisper in the buzzling crowds. I was no Career, and in that case nothing physical was expected of me. I was to take over my Father's business, no doubt. That's why I read copious amounts of literature about Economy and Politics like it meant absolute shit. With hands outstretched before me, I held a simple carton of milk along with a few miscellaneous items, filling it to the very brim. It was a bitch to carry, of course. Lips pursed into a tight frown, brows knitted together.  Anger was my best friend. Passing by a particularly odd park, I decided there was no harm in taking a short-cut. Not that I'd really care, regardless. I was obliged to take my time home if I damn well pleased. My feet were directly hot-wired to my brain, pacing down the path carefully. A few people were doing laps, since they weren't useful for anything else. How hilarious. Perhaps I was just hiding my jealousy, since I was a 4'9" ball of jumbled limbs and sardonic remarks. A loud thump resounded throughout the clearing beside me, stopping my feet in place. Turning on the spot, a snort nearly left my throat at the sight of the girl. On her back, running slightly bloodied fingers through her hair. With a second glance over my shoulder, I wandered over to her, following her gaze to the sun carefully. "Staring directly at the Sun can hurt your eyes, y'know."

(( Hi! ;;

[ミSailor彡]

Emery Layne
17 | District 2 | Female


The stars in my vision start to disperse and all I can see are little white circles clouding my vision. From staring at the sun so long, no doubt. I'm still breathing heavily. Still frustrated. I rub the bump on my head again and wince at the pain that radiates through my skull. I must have been running pretty fast to give myself a welt this big. I kind of laugh at the thought, slightly proud of myself. Well, ruling out entering any beauty pageants anytime soon, I contemplate my next action. I wonder how many people saw me wipe out. If they saw and already moved on or are just staring, wondering if I'll ever get up. I don't see why I couldn't finish my run. My legs are a little scratched up but nowhere near enough to stop me.

    I open my eyes just in time to see a girl standing over me. I can't really make out any of her features. After staring at the sun so long, everything looks like a silhouette. I try to focus as I hear her say something,

"Staring at the sun can hurt your eyes, y'know."

    Well, no shit I think at first. But then I realize she is right, and I knew that all along but just stared at the sun anyway. Who was she to judge my actions anyway? I start heating up again. My vision finally stars to make out her features. Blonde hair tied in a bun. Big lips. Button nose. Bomb shell. I slowly stand up, trying not to show how hurt I am although I'm sure she already saw everything. I stand and start to say something but stop realizing how short she was. I'm 5'10'' and she hardly clears my hips. Looking closer I see the furrow in her brow and slight scowl that looked all too familiar. I see that look everyday in the mirror. Looks like I'm not the only angry one around here. 

    I know that... Why is it any of your business anyway?

[pepper.]

clover {♔} mack A sardonic comment already lined itself up on my tongue in retaliation to anything she'd state, no matter how bitter or how nice. Instead, my hands adjust their grip, arms moving with the slight waiver against the paper box, lashes blinking steadily. The first thing I noticed about the girl below was freckles, dotted across the bridge of her nose and cheeks like constellations. I was no better than she was, as I was looking stars in the face aswell. Stretching my neck to the side, my shoulders raise instinctively-- defensively. "I know that. Why is it your business, anyway?" The snide comeback nearly brought a smile to my lips. Nearly. I was just about as amused as a hive full of angry, angry hornets. I had the expressions of one too-- emotionally and physically. Tensing up, eyebrows furrowing, face contorting in fury. Although not right now, at this specific time.  Instead my tongue flickered out to lick at dried lips, laying snugly between my teeth. That vicious overbite.  "Giving yourself potential eye-damage isn't really that smart. But I guess it's befitting of you."

[ミSailor彡]

Emery Layne
17 | District 2 | Female


    I see my short new pal take a classic defensive stance right before the words left my lips. The fury in her eyes matched mine. I've never met another person with a temper as high and red as mine. I try to keep my shoulders pulled back, lift my chin up. Anything to make me look superior. You'd think my height would give me a hand in that but instead I just feel like a giant and I feel the insecurities chipping at my armor. I see her freckles, dotting her nose and cheeks. I've always loved mine but hers look much more natural. I blink as I try to keep my mind on the task at hand.

"Giving yourself potential eye-damage isn't really that smart. But I guess it's befitting of you."

I blink a few more times, trying to process her comeback through my mind. Oh shit, oh shit. I tilt my head to the side, hands on my hips and squint my eyes. Trying to make myself look as though I understand and already know what to say. Trying to look like I'm just making some sort of dramatic pause. But as the seconds tick by, I realize, I don't have anything to say to that. Well, this is a first.

Normally, being defeated in a verbal argument would cause me to just lash out in anger. I've done it many times with my mother. My mother is much more clever than me so she'd often beat me verbally, so I'd be sure to beat her physically. But maybe it was just the fact that in such a short period of time, the thoughts been clicking through my mind that me and this short stranger are a lot alike. I smile and shake my head. I decide to break the wall down and like some say, if you can't beat 'em... join 'em. 

"It's been a long since time since someone has been able to shut me up that quick."

[pepper.]

clover {♔} mack I waited for her to throw an insult, anything-- a punch, even. Our District wasn't really known for our friendliness, even inside the District walls. I hadn't been hooked in the face before, but I was willing to expect the worst right now in front of this giant. In the real world, size meant nothing. The Games were just a distraction from the importance of our District's management. I accepted that in all it's fullness, I turned it into a weapon for my hands, my tongue and my sharp mind. Instinctively, my chin rose, lashes fluttering. "It's been a long since time since someone has been able to shut me up that quick." Oh. It wasn't disappointing, infact, it was a tad pleasant. But instead of wallowing over the fact smugly-- a slow smile etched itself onto my lips. Carefully raising a hand from the paper bag, I allowed it to run through my hair simultaneously, licking at chapped lips. The glare I held so well softened reluctantly, the sides of my eyes crinkling with amusement. "I'm not surprised. I don't really have a brain to mouth filter."

(( Hi! ;;

[ミSailor彡]

Emery Layne
17 | District 2 | Female


    I vaguely start to remember the last time I tried to open up to someone. There was a girl from school when I was 11. It was a few weeks before I chopped all of my hair off. She was really the only person I really talked to. Although our friendship was an unhealthy one, we were friends nonetheless. All we did was tease each other. We may as well have hated each other. But I guess that's just how we interacted. We clicked that way. I remember the one particular day, I had just gotten into the worst fight with my parents. They were angry with me about not pushing myself hard enough or some shit like that. I came to her crying and told her I really just needed a friend to talk to. She didn't say much, but I could see in her eyes that she was disappointed. She saw I was weak. Not too long after that, she slowly pushed me away. We talked less and less and she made new friends. I was hurt. It was a hurt that burnt my core. The closest person that I could call a friend rejected me and my weaknesses. It wasn't fair. The day she decided to completely shut me out was the day I decided to run home and chop all my hair off.  Decided to try my best to never show any weakness to anyone ever again. That was when the scowl became a permanent facial feature. 

"I'm not surprised. I don't really have a brain to mouth filter. "

She didn't even have to tell me that. I already knew. The way she talked, the way she presented herself, how defensive she was and the witty remarks. It was almost like looking into a mirror. A short, blonde mirror. But the thought of my old ex-friend made me start to pull away. The thought of making any friends in this district is almost repulsive. Seeing the way everyone acts together in school. And that's exactly what it is, an act. Is that all friendship is? Have a good time together just so others will look at you and think you're cool? And then whenever your friend actually needs your help, just leave them in the dust? It's a bunch of bullshit. I take a step back and rub the bump on my head that I can tell isn't going away anytime soon. 


Yeah, uhm, normally I don't either. But I guess when I hit my head I must just be having an off day.

[pepper.]

clover {♔} mack Friends. The word was strange. From the troubling passings of my youth I hadn't had a single one, considering the only words that left my mouth were snarky and cruel. Vile enough to put others to death, almost-- I was never a pleasant person. The only person I'd consider a friend was my Brother. We had once been conjoined at the hip, inseparable for an unknown reason, yet now we were more distant than the sky was to the Sea. Even the horizon was too much for us, instead we scattered from one another, no longer drawn like Moths to a Flame. Instead we doused our relationship into the fire, pretended that it never existed, burnt it to a crisp. As hard as it was to admit it, I was relieved. Emotionally I was carved out of stone, every inch of my soul covered in plaster and some indistinguishable material elicted from the stares themselves.   From that moment on I refused to even consider having a friend. Enemies would suffice.  I could have popped out of my Mother with a readied scowl at birth, considering nobody knew how exactly I became this cold towards even the basic functionings of human civilization and it's occupants. I just hated life from the very beginning, others moreso than my own. But here I was, actually smiling at someone for once, which was a rare sight.  "Yeah, uhm, normally I don't either. But I guess when I hit my head I must just be having an off day. " Near-snorting in amusement, I leaned to the side on one leg, perking an eyebrow. There were no off-days for me. Day in, day out, everyone received the same dire treatment and foul language. It made their day that little bit more miserable, and mine just a tad happier. When I didn't immediately retaliate with something sassy, it surprised even me. Instead, I puffed out my chest. "I don't think I've ever remembered an off-day for me. Some say my first two words were, 'you're ugly'."

[ミSailor彡]

E M E R Y  L A Y N E     All the times I've ever tried to be anything else other than a bitch, I've come off as awkward. I don't think I know how to be anything else. If I'm not hurling insults, I'm tripping over words. If I'm not busy handing out dirty looks, I'm fidgeting a mumbling. I just don't know how to be anything other than what I am. Was I born like this? Could I have been a decent person at one point? Maybe as a baby? Who knows. The way this girl hasn't missed a beat is brilliant. Apparently I'm not the best at being the worst. She's got it pretty down pact.      After I speak my awkward piece, she snorts out a laugh and raises an eyebrow at me.      "I don't think I've ever remembered an off-day for me. Some say my first two words were, 'you're ugly'."     I'm immediately engulfed in laughter. I can't hold it in because it's honestly one of the first time's someones said to me that was actually funny. I've had folks try to tell me jokes, but it honestly just made me want to punch them in the face. This chick was genuinely funny. I try to  calm my self long enough to shake my head and pull my hair behind my ears.     "You're a riot. Is there a good reason why I haven't met you before?" template by chelsey

sorry it's kinda short [/exhaust]