Revealing a Revelation

[Anatra]

Revealing a Revelation Tyren Orca - District Two - Eighteen What is wrong with me today? I can't help but slip back into my covers and wrap them tightly around my body. The warmth is uncomfortable but it helps me slide into that unconscious state that is halfway between sleep and whatever else. A moment later, or what feels like it, I roll over slightly. I'm wide awake and I look over at Alex in the opposite bed. He's snoring like a bear in his own cave with an arm hanging out of his bed. I blink twice, but suddenly I'm doing it all again; rolling out of my bed. This time I'm met with nothing but my cluttered desk, pens and scrap paper laying around like comfortable dust. I'm back in my real room, my real life. I miss it, what I used to be. I missed waking up to my brother's sleeping when we shared a room. Things have got too easy here in this house. Too convenient. They make me question whether I appreciate the difficulties of what happens elsewhere. I just want to stay in this house forever, but I know that forever ends soon. I'm eighteen, I can't be wasting my time being idle, with no idols. I slip on some loose shorts over my underwear and I leave my room intact, not caring for the state of it. The whole room is heated by the rays of sunlight that beam in at this hour - it must be around eleven o'clock in the morning. I just feel down, I'm not sure why. I must have slept rough. I look in the mirror in the bathroom, my hair is a mess. Short hair never looks messy to anybody else except for the person who has it. They know where the little imperfections are. The scruffs that raise up when you've slept. I see it all, but nobody else would. The slight curl in the front, which would be the fringe if I were to grow it - I never would. A small amount of hair litters my chest. Growing up it annoying. I hate it. Today at least. I wish I was just young and naive forever. I wish I had never got stabbed with that stupid spear. The scars riddle me today. They are calling out at me, begging for attention. I've worn them this long without hearing their cries but now they want to tell me how vulnerable I am this morning. I feel it. I must be ill, or something. There's nothing telling about it in my appearance though, nothing at all. I just look like I've woken up. I have. I stretch, brush my teeth slowly to avoid the possibly gum damage that I can get, and I head downstairs. When my hands drum against the warm surface of the kitchen counter for a moment, I try to decide what I am to do. I'm still in the shorts, not even bothering to put a top on. I look down though, and there's blood on the counter. The slightest amount, a drop or two. I look for a good moment or two but suddenly another joins it. This is all too familiar. I don't even need to check, I just roll my eyes and grab some kitchen towel to put to my nose. The door is knocked hard. I go to answer it, holding open the door with a hand, the other placed to my nose with some tissue. There is no cold to hit my bare skin.

[Jack Lexington]

Weekend. What better time of the week could there be? I know I enjoy my weekends a great deal and because I'm so used to getting up way too early in the morning at the academy I keep up that habit on the weekends to go for a run.

After a quick bowl of musli and some tea I head out in shorts and a shirt because even the early rays of sunlight promise that it will be a hot day. It's a slow hog today because I'm just trying to get some endurance and lung volume back after the incident. Every sprint and fast pace still has me panting as if I had asthma so I opt for a slower pace while I do a round around the town we live in.

The day is really hot so I soon find myself cursing at the lack of a water bottle. Briefly I weigh my options. In this part of town there are many stores but I don't bring any money. There's also Tyrens house not too far away, maybe two blocks. He surely won't mind me having a drink of water if he's home. It's worth a try.

Panting and sweating i arrive at his door with my shirt clinging to my back and chest like a second skin.

As soon as he opens up I spot him...in barely any clothes.
So I cheekily ask.
"Who are you expecting in your birth suit?"

"Could I get a drink of water. I forgot my bottle."

Then I wipe some sweat from my nose and want to push inside when I notice the bloody tissue.
"What happened?" Of course I'm assuming he got into a fight or something..but here?

[Anatra]

Revealing a Revelation Tyren Orca - District Two - Eighteen "Who are you expecting in your birth suit?" He asks me cheekily. Matthew that is. He's came to my door, seemingly out of breath from something. I don't understand how he can have his hair hanging that low, it really does irritate me. I can't help it, but today I'm noticing all these things. These little things that are irritating me to no end. His hair, the sound of knocking at the door. It gives me more of a stern look I feel, and I don't like that even, either. I'm irritating by being irritating. "I was just borrowing Kyanite's usual outfit." I snap back cheekily, because it's fair to be fair. I'm just implying that she's always naked but it doesn't really make sense because she's not at all, not with me anyway. "Could I get a drink of water. I forgot my bottle." He came all this way for a drink of water? He must be forgetful this morning, that irritates me too. Oh well. I sigh a tiny, tiny bit. "Sure." He goes to push past me lightly but he stops when he gets closer. "What happened?" He says as I step aside, letting him in. "I had a falling out with a tin of beans that fell from the cupboard." My lie is perfect. I'm not telling him that I still get the occasional nose bleed from the tension that can sometimes build up in my head, due to the thinning of the blood vessels in my neck. I can't be bothered with his pity, my mood is too awful for it and I don't know why. He probably won't figure out I'm not telling the truth. "Is that all you wanted, a bottle of water?" I say, almost with a bite to my words as I go to the sink to fill up one of the man empty bottles we collect just in case we need one. This one just happens to be some Pepsi, but obviously without the Pepsi. A peacekeeper planted on the front, as usual with the top brands.

[Jack Lexington]

His joke about Kyanite is rather strange and baffles me coming from Tyren but I shrug it off and listen to his expalantion about a tin of beans.
"Beans for breakfast, yummy."
I'm actually hungry again. The academy does that too me. It makes me hungry all the time but since I'm not working out as much as I used to in the career program I'm getting a little flabby. Tyren...not so much.
I don't question his bean story but I do remember that his nose was bleeding without the presence of a tin before so I state. "Do you get hit by cans a lot?"

Then I reach for the bottle he's offering me and down about half of it before I take a long breath.

"Is that all you wanted, a bottle of water?" He ask in an irritated tone, that I'm not sued to which makes me wonder whether he got up with the wrong foot or has a probalem with me.
I glance at the picture perfect pk on the bottle and smirk.
"One day you and me are going to be on water bottles."
I wouldn't mind being famous for something good. Then again I didn't appreciate the fame that came with the pregames.

I lean rub my face and drink some more. Tyrens body language tells me he's waiting for me to leave.
"Who put your knickers in a knot, bud?" I casually ask.

Since nobody else seems to be around I walk over to the sink and cup some cold water in my hands to splash my face and hair. It feels incredibly refreshing but only a second later I can feel the heat on my cheeks and neck again.

[Anatra]

Revealing a Revelation Tyren Orca - District Two - Eighteen "Beans for breakfast, yummy." Beans aren't part of my appetite today. I want to eat something unhealthy and fattening but I won't be able to let myself, and I know it. I could just go get a big fat burger from the burger van that probably will be outside the garden shop down the road. It's a long road though. "Do you get hit by cans a lot?" I have no choice but to raise a brow at him. He's clicked on, unfortunately. I'm going to keep to my little lie though. I don't want him feeling down again just because I've got some recurring symptoms. So what? I'll get over it. It's only a bit of blood. "The only thing I attract is beans mate, that's pretty disappointing." I try to chuckle a little, but it feels wrong. "One day you and me are going to be on water bottles." I frown the tiniest of bits. I can't let him carry on hoping that the two of us have a genuine future in this thing. "Who put your knickers in a knot, bud?" He asks me... "Matt, I just... We've talked about it so many times but I can't do it anymore. I can't go back to that stupid academy." There, I said it. I lift my head a little bit, trying to remove my stern look but it's not going away, not at the thought of something new. "Besides... They're letting Joe out." I almost roll my eyes. He'll be under the same roof as me, the person whom I have disowned. Maybe I am wrong about it, I hope I am, but I can't help but know that he risked the security of this family over a pathetic little whim. "I haven't visited him once. Does he deserve that?"

[Jack Lexington]

"The only thing I attract is beans mate, that's pretty disappointing." It's supposed to be a joke but I know how he feels about being lonesome. Tyren wants a girl much more than I ever did. My girlfriend just happened. Heck we were rivals, enemies, then partners in crime. The loved just happen as if lightning struck us because both of us didn't see it coming.
"You'll find a good guy, promise." I tease him some more.

As I muse about having my face printed on a water bottle he suddenly tells me something I really don't want to hear again.

"Matt, I just... We've talked about it so many times but I can't do it anymore. I can't go back to that stupid academy."
My expression instantly becomes hard. Here I was thinking he's reconsidered but apparently he still doesn't want to become a pk. He even calls the academy stupid.
"Yeah, a challenge can be tough." I mock him because it's my last straw. I get a feeling his decision is set in stone and whatever I say won't change a damn thing.
I give him a sour look.
"Why? You're so good at it!"
His explanation goes to his cousin.
"Besides... They're letting Joe out. I haven't visited him once. Does he deserve that?"
"You tell me." I huff almost as annoyed as he seems to be. "Is Mr. Convict, who shit on his family more important than you career?"
I give him another hard look and empty the rest of the water before I place it on the counter.
"Thanks for the water, partner." the last word is given with a good measure of mock.
I move back towards the door but before I go I rethink my decision.
There's really nothing I can do about Tyren quitting. He's wanted it for a while and the only reason he was staying was because of me. It's not my call or my life but his and he's free to make his own choices.

"You are sure about this." I state in a much softer tone. "Alright."

The blood on the cloth in his hand keeps bugging me so I raise the brow just like he did and ask.
"So how long are you going to tell me about beans? Or are you going to tell the guy who's wearing your tags what's really going on?" I remind him of the token he gave me that now dangles around my neck on a long ball chain.
If we're really as close as I think he should let me know.

[Anatra]

Revealing a Revelation Tyren Orca - District Two - Eighteen "You'll find a good guy, promise." He teases at me. At least I think it is teasing. My usual reaction would be to laugh it off immediately, but today I just can't bring myself to do it. I literally care so little about what other people think right now. When he mocks me though, I get so angry inside. "Yeah, a challenge can be tough." My brows weigh on my face, I give him a glare. I pull a face of 'what did you just say?' But I don't call him out. He asks me why, and I tell him. "Is Mr. Convict, who shit on his family more important than you career?" I shouldn't have asked Matthew, he's bias because he doesn't know Joe at all. Not before, and definitely not after his conviction. "His name is Joe. He's my cousin. He left for a reason, I just don't know it yet." I try to assume there is a better reason than leaving because he was bored. That would be stupid, and I know it isn't that at all. "Thanks for the water, partner." His emphasis on 'partner' has my glare sustaining on him like a pin. I can feel it. It's that urge to smack him in the face, stab him in the neck twice with a spear and see how he likes it when his only friend abandons him with petty reasoning. I've had it. "So how long are you going to tell me about beans? Or are you going to tell the guy who's wearing your tags what's really going on?" "Fine, I'll tell you." My eyes beam at him. "Every. Single. Day. I have been putting up with these stupid, awful headaches. Every day I am reminded about how you are doing so well with your fucking girlfriend." I'm letting it all out right now. Every last bit of it. "I took some pills, not good ones." My tone of voice is quite loud, very authoritative. This is me when I get pissed off. Thankfully, there's nobody from my family in the house. "I wasn't to know that they would knock me out, keep me from sleeping all night." I turn away from him, running my slightly bloodied hand under the tap, then wiping my nose. The last time I had a bloodied nose around Matthew, he had caused it. I'm glad there's no risk of Alex walking down from the stairs. "I'm pissed off Matt. So pissed off! I can't deal with this bullshit any more. I'm not going back to that place." I slam a fist against the counter once, still looking away from him. This is probably the first time I've gotten genuinely angry and not had a tear in my eye. Suddenly though, something unexpected happens. Footsteps from upstairs, coming down. Quickly, as well. It's almost as though my fist caused them to start. Out of almost nowhere, Mark appears from the stairs. In nothing but his shorts as well. He is more build than I am, he is a professional athlete. Apparently he's a professional at screwing up as well, he wasn't supposed to come down. "Shit Tyren, you alright?" He says, looking to the blood gathered slightly on my nose, my fists balled up. His voice is suddenly sympathetic and contagiously so. Then he sees Matthew. Mark looks caught off guard for a moment but then his voice has adjusted, more stern. "What are you doing here?" He asks. I sigh. Great.

[Jack Lexington]

The words I used were reckless, mean and meant to sting. I'm pretty good at that...running my mouth. It's earned me a lot of fights and only a few friends. One of them happens to stand in front of me now and he's clearly pissed judging by the look on his face, the tenseness in his bare shoulders and his fast breathing.

These are all warning sings for me to watch out and duck quickly should he loose his temper.
Tyren's not the type to throw a first punch though unlike me.
Instead he starts shouting the truth at me.
"Fine, I'll tell you. Every. Single. Day. I have been putting up with these stupid, awful headaches."

I had no idea he still has them, but I keep listening before I chip in.

"Every day I am reminded about how you are doing so well with your fucking girlfriend."
That's it. He does still blame me for hurting him while all I was left with is a numb finger and a great girl.
"What does she have to do with anything?" I shout back at him. I mean I know he'd like to have one, too, but that's not my fault.
"Why didn't you tell me you still get headaches?" I wrinkle my brow but try to keep my attitude in check. After all I want him to talk to me, not punch me out.
He tells me about some pills and the inability to sleep but finally gets so loud and frustrated that I tense up as well.
"I'm pissed off Matt. So pissed off! I can't deal with this bullshit any more. I'm not going back to that place."
His fist meets the counter in a loud bang so I flinch and just stare at him.
Raising my hands in defense I state in a slow, low tone.
"Okay. It's your call, man. If that's what you really want, do it."
Maybe I've just pushed too much and Tyren's not the type to be a pk. He might be good at it but not tough enough down to his core.
He takes things too hard, too personal.

At that moment no other than Mark comes walking down the stairs. If there's one family member of Tyren I truly dislike is this mean bastard. Last time I knocked him on his ass but the moment he lays eyes on Tys bloody nose and me I know he's jumping to conclusions so I feel the need to push myself away from the wall I've been leaning on and clerify.
"Nothing. I just came for a drink. Everything's fine." And just to make sure he's not assuming I gave his cousin the bloody nose I add. "A can fell on his nose."
I'd still like to know what really happened but that's what Tyren told me so I might as well pass it on.

I turn my gaze back on Tyren because I don't think our conversation is finished yet.
Then I look at Mark.
"Can you give us a moment?"

[Anatra]

"What does she have to do with anything?" He asks. He's right, it had very little to do with anything at all. The fact of the matter is, I didn't mean to say it. I do that far too often: blurt out the truth when it isn't needed. Thankfully, he's not too angry. At least I didn't mention Max, because the last thing he needs is me moaning on about Max. Now that I remember, there is one person in the house that's from my family. Max's dad. He is here. He'll be way up in the attic where the weights are. He'll be there for hours at a time and he'll never be seen until the night. That's what his workout is for: not only to improve his body but to get away from the world. He's thirty eight with a hell of a lot of problems to deal with. Some of them are mine, too. Mark is only here because of what he told me las time we spoke, and I was too surprised, too shocked to know that he'd commit to something that allowed him to stay the night. That's my secret though, and I won't be telling anybody. I don't need it right now.

I lie. "It's hard seeing you together when I don't have somebody myself." It is only half true. The actuality is that I can't stand how many problems she has provided. Jins, Max. They've never once not been her doing, really. If she was brave against Jins, and truthful to Max, we wouldn't be in the position that we are all now in today. "Why didn't you tell me you still get headaches?" He asks me. The reason isn't simple. "I didn't want you feeling sorry. It's not something to feel sorry for." I don't like getting pity from people, not anymore. I don't need attention.

"Okay. It's your call, man. If that's what you really want, do it." Am I intimidating? Or did Matthew just back away without even a threat? Is he scared by me, or is it just that he cares? I wasn't expecting him to back off so easily. In truth, I wanted an argument.

Then Mark appears out of nowhere and suddenly I feel as though I won't be having an argument, I'll be picking Matthew's teeth up off the floor. That's no exaggeration either. Mark is a killing machine. He's completely capable of hammer a fist through Matthew like butter. Mark is there with his top half completely exposed. Maybe that is why Matthew is seeming to back off. I would. The six pack isn't just there, it's almost a different body part. His muscles are defined to a point where he looks like he's been in the games and won. No to mention the fact he has a large tattoo on his left shin. It's got one of the iconic ruins of the district on it, near to where his old home was, and some words in some other language that I don't recognise. The rest is decoration or family related things. That's ironic, considering what he told me.

"Nothing. I just came for a drink. Everything's fine." Mark doesn't scowl, and he definitely doesn't grimace. He just looks back at me as though I need protecting. "A can fell on his nose." Matthew passes on my lie. That's dangerous: Mark knows it isn't true. I've told him the real reason. In order for him to tell me his secret, I needed to tell mine. It was a fair trade. Mark gives me a look. "When are you going to the doctors?" He asks me, moving forward and grabbing the bloodied cloth without a regard for all the blood that now litters his hand. He places it to my nose some more, and I don't flinch. It's not painful at all. It's because a can did not fall at all. There is no bruise to burn and no cut to sting. "I..." I start. "I'm not taking no for an answer. I don't are if they get pissed. I'm not having you in a grave out back." His smirk is telling to his joke. I enjoy his humour in these times when I'm too angry to enjoy people asking me questions and pestering me. A friend, of maybe more, who would actually give me no choice in doing what is right. Somebody who would force me to do the right thing rather than pester me to do it.

"Can you give us a moment?"

Mark turns at Matthew, almost forgetting he was there. He isn't sure whether I will let him leave me alone or not. He looks back at me, and I give him a nod. "I'll be upstairs with Max's dad, okay?"

"Yeah, go." Max's dad is thirty eight and Max is twenty. That says it all. Just like Alex and Adina are going to be, he and his wife were young parents. Both of them were seventeen. That's too young in m own opinion so is eighteen, but if it's what they want and wanted, I have no problem with it. Max's dad still looks youthful, to which some people think him to be my cousin and Max's brother. He's my uncle.

"So, what else do you have to say?" I ask, Marks footsteps gone.

[Jack Lexington]

I get a lot of hostility whenever I come to his place, which makes me wonder why I do in the first place. The only one of the bunch I really get along with is Tyren and he seems in an aweful mood today.

The kind of vibe I get from Mark is definetly not a good one and judging by how ripped he is he's been pushing a lot of weights. On top of that I know the kind of guys he is...definetly not shy of a fight but I didn't come here to beat somebody up. On the contrary I'm trying to get in better shape, not worse. So I become defensive.
When I try to tell him that not me but a can hurt his cousin he says something that's got me listening up.
"When are you going to the doctors? I'm not taking no for an answer. I don't care if they get pissed. I'm not having you in a grave out back."

Tyren told me something was still off with the headaches and he didn't want me to feel bad but this sounds a whole lot worse so my baffled gaze falls on Tyren. Is it this serious? Is he going to die because of something I did to him? Is that why he's so snappy today?

Another great turn of events happens. Instead of grabbing me by the throat Mark actually walks away to join Max' dad upstairs...whatever he's doing there. It seems there's always a lot of family in this place.

"So, what else do you have to say?" His tone's still so nasty.
"It's actually what you have to say! What the fuck is going on Tyren. Are you dying? What's with those nose bleeds and headaches?" My voice is almost accusing but my expression clearly sympathetic. I love Tyren like a brother and can't believe he's sheltered me from all of this.
Why did I not notice anything? Was I too absorbed in spending time with Ky and the academy.

I run my hand over my face and lean back onto the door frame for support.
Shaking my head in disbelieve I say in a much nice tone.
"You don't have to keep stuff like that from me. I'm your friend. I care what happens to you."
Suddenly I push myself away from the door frame to come closer to him. A small trickle of blood is running down his upper lip pooling on the egde of it.
So I grab another kitchen towel but I don't dare to wipe his face for him. Instead I hand him the thin white sheet and motion for his face. "You're still bleeding....let me come with you to the doctor. I want to help you."
That's all I can to show him that I really am his friend and won't back away from him because of a guilty conscience, which I do have. I just hope he'll be okay.

[Anatra]

He's gone now. I'm alone again. I had a moment where I wasn't isolated. Now I have less. Mark was holding the only comfort because I had somebody who knew my secret. Mark is quite manipulative, but I like that because in the end I should tell people what is going on. "It's actually what you have to say! What the fuck is going on Tyren. Are you dying? What's with those nose bleeds and headaches?"

He's been made aware though, and now I'm quite pissed off. I shouldn't have to answer to him, but he has a right to know. I leave him hanging unintentionally. I can't muster the words because it is so difficult to speak and say the truth to him, hence why he doesn't know yet.

"I don't fucking know!" I burst out.
"We're going to find out. Me, Mark and Uncle Mike." I wasn't going to tell him like this. I have had too much on my mind. I was going to mention it at the pub the last time, but Alex dropped his more pleasant news first. If only I had the courage to beat him to it. "You don't have to keep stuff like that from me. I'm your friend. I care what happens to you."

I know this already, I just can't accept it right now. I have to find out what the problem is first. It might be nothing. "It's probably nothing." I sigh. Im going to be okay. I am safe, and I am normal. "You're still bleeding....let me come with you to the doctor. I want to help you." And apparently I have normal friends. He holds the cloth in front of me. I take it softly and place it under my nose. I feel an element of guilt for raising my voice now. I'm just overwhelmed by the indecision of who I tell, and what I tell them. The information isn't in my hands. I had the scans, I just need the results.

I hear footsteps coming down from upstairs, and I know Mark would come down again unless I went to get him. Emerging from the stairway is Uncle Mike, a tall man of 6"0. He looks exactly like Max, but with rougher features and a thick stubble that is closer to a small beard. His hair is a subtle blonde, but technically it is light brown. His eyes are a blue colour, but a deeper blue than Max. His black tank top has his arms exposed. He's extremely well built. It is us three now, Mark, Mike and I, who are the stronger members of the family. Everybody else no longer has the time for gym, or workouts. It makes sense for us to be with each other. But it isn't the reason that Mike is here and not my parents. That's a reason I can't tell anybody else. He's clearly just came from a workout, sweat on his forehead. "Ty, get ready we're- Oh, sorry mate. Didn't know you had company." He's quite a masculine guy. A typical man, the perfect father figure in comparison to my dad. "I'll get the car running, we can't be late."

I nod at him, then look back at Matthew who had asked whether he could go or not. In fact, he was almost begging. I sigh. "Alright but... It could be serious. I wasn't telling people for a reason." I don't think he'll change his mind. I think I am thankful. I can't tell.

Mark nips down the stairs too. He heads straight out without a word. He's nervous, I can tell. I'm nervous. "Let's go."

I get in the car.

This is it. Whether Matthew followed me or not, Mike starts the engine and we set off.

[Jack Lexington]

His gaze darkens even more letting me know that I'm in no position to demand anything from him. Not even what's going on with him. I flinch inwardly but remain quiet when he yells at me.
Clearly his nerves are on edge. I'm assuming that this doctor visit and the nose bleed, that is NOT from a can, is what's gotten him so riled up. Understandably.
I tell myself to be patient and let him yell all he wants but it's hard. Everything inside of me screams...don't let him do that.

He tells me that it's probably nothing but I'm not buying it. Neither is he.

Suddenly somebody else comes down the stairs. A pretty tall guy, probably the same height as I am, a little older with brownish hair and a scruff. Must be Max's dad. They share some facial similarities although this guy is a lot rougher around the edges. I wonder whether he knows who I am.
He apologizes for interrupting but then shoes Tyren out to the car, who just glances back at me telling me that this could be bad.
I know. It's obvious.
Does this mean he is willing to let me come? Does he want me there? Do I really want to ride along to find out whether I did this to him? Most likely. I'm pretty ashamed of my actions in the pregames by now but today has to be the worst.
I really just want to tell them that I need to be somewhere urgently because I don't want to exposed myself to the facts of life. Especially not cruel ones pointing at me. Who knows what his uncle and muscle man Mark will do to me? It's not so much them I fear though. It's the outcome for Tyren.
"I actually...."
I'm looking for a plausible excuse for offering to come along and then backing out.
"...should come with you."
So I follow the Orca bunch and slip into the back seat next to Tyren, who's still holding the tissue.
"Put more pressure on your nostrils and put your head forward." I advise him and make sure not to make eye contact with his cousin in the rear view mirror. I hate that guy!

My hands are getting a little sweaty and shaky now. Maybe from the long run and sun but most likely not. Hospitals are never fun. Especially not if you're in really bad shape.
Taking a deep breath I let the air seep through my lips slowly and place my hand on his shoulder. "I hope you're alright, Ty."

[Anatra]

Revealing a Revelation Tyren Orca - District Two - Eighteen Why do my hands shake so desperately in the light that leaves my eyes so dry? Why is it that my breath is looser, and my arms weak with fatigue? I am like a walking connection of bones, joined only by the lingering hope that the news I shall receive is naught but a fashion of disjoint, and that my condition is purely miraculous in it's origin; non-existent. It won't happen, not for me. I won't be one of the fortunate ones. I've suffered for too long for this to be nothing. Now, I've finally plucked up the courage to tell my closest two friends, and my uncle had to know. Leaving this world would be too hard for me to do. I've been there before, on the edge. It isn't a pleasant place at all. It is where the dead go to decide their own fates, instead of being pushed themselves. I had that chance, but I wiltered on the edge and something grabbed me. It was Matthew, the moment he came into my room to reconcile his punishment against me. That arena, that pathetically dirty arena, was the death of me to that point. This is something more, though. I know it. If it were because of him, I could probably kick him out of this car and send him rolling. I know it isn't, though. I know the truth here, and the truth is; it runs in the family. It's a secret, one that Uncle Mike wouldn't tell anybody. But still it leaves me on the precipice of the end. Like a movie running out of reel. We are now safely in the car, and Mark hands me a t-shirt to which I have to slip onto my body. I had forgotten completely. I'm too nervous to hear things right now, too frightened to turn around and see that Matthew had entered the car. He's giving me advice, and I unconsciously follow it, but the nosebleed has stopped. There is little point putting a dam across an empty river. "I hope you're alright, Ty." He admits. It's almost like an admitting tone. I don't know what I'm hearing fully. I nod at him, subtly. "He'll be fine, don't worry Matthew." Mike says from the driver's seat. Mark is in the front, too. He clearly remembers the time that Matthew and I were too drunk to walk home, and I had rung him to pick us up. He was kind about it that night, and didn't mention it to anybody until the party, which even then it was a good laugh to reminisce upon. This is another reason why Mike was a perfect candidate for my company today. It's not even going to be day for long. By time we leave the hospital, I can tell already it will be tomorrow. Whatever happens, I won't have the capability to deal with the result. Good or bad. I'll need help. I'm not used to having it in such a short supply. That's my fault, though. I should've told people. We near the hospital and Mike parks up. I get out first and Uncle Mike offers me a solitary smile, just for me. It's for me to know that he's here. He will be my shoulder to rest on when I get too tired, too weary. He knows. Nobody else knows. We head in. There's nothing to say. Nobody wants to say anything to me, I don't think. They are probably too fearful of angering me, or frightening me. My breaths are quite short, but silent. I don't like to let on that I am dying of nerves, and not whatever causes the nosebleeds. Now, we wait. Outside of an office. It's too quiet. If there's any motion, it isn't directed towards us. We're sitting in the middle of an ocean full of blind sharks. That's what it feels like. All of the nurses are like eels, swimming around in the water, avoiding all of the beds that rush to and fro and I can't keep the concentration to perceive every detail as I once usually would. Maybe that's the problem; I see too much. Maybe I'm thinking too much... "Mr Orca." A voice calls. I freeze. I look straight to my uncle. I can't look anywhere else. I'm frozen in this position, almost pessimistic straight away. It could be good news. I will hope so. It will be good news. Mike stands up, Mark stays seated and I think I've shut off Matthew for now. He's not coming in with me; no way. Nobody else, just me and my uncle. He knows. He holds out a hand for me to get up. I grab it and help myself to my feet, relieving the contact with him because it's not what I want; to be hand-held into my doom. If there's an angel out there, they aren't related to me. We enter the room and the door is shut. My face is warm with nerves. I feel like I could cry already. Crying is how it all comes out; emotion. I'm scared, sad. Sorrowful. I don't even know the result. "Mr Orca." She repeats. The doctor, that is. "You came for your scan, and we have to tell you the results." I drum my fingers silently under the plastic chair I took to, as I entered. "I don't want to beat around a bush here." "You have a moderate tumor in your frontal lobe." I crumble. I am gone. Broken for the moment. I grip so fucking tight to the chair, and my eyelids cling to a close. My head lowers. I don't want to breath any more. I don't want to fight this. "I... Know it's-" She stops speaking as my uncle puts his arms around me and I take his shoulder that he had offered because I really need it. My nose runs like it has to escape something, and my tears are already reddening my eyes. "It is treatable, but not easily. Not cheaply. We will try our best, but without Capitol support, you will have to pay for the operations entirely." It feels like a punch to the stomach. I feel like I've just been stabbed and suddenly all of my blood if rippling across the floor like a waterfall, but only red and sprinting down the shiny surface that is the sterile hospital bottom. "Come on Ty, you'll be alright. I'll pay. I'll do it all, just- Look at me." I do it, my Uncle holding my shoulders and pushing me from his shoulder. I look at him and I can tell he understands the hurt in my eyes. "Just because Granda didn't make it, doesn't mean you won't. We can afford it this time." My grandad is his dad. He means this with every inch of his heart. The reason I wanted to bring him is that I need somebody who knows what they are talking about. Somebody who I can trust. He can, because he was young when his father died. My dad was almost a peacekeeper, so it made no sense for him to care, or show he cared. I didn't want to spur any lost feelings my father had hidden in his head. "Say something, Tyren." "I..." He sighs, taking me again. I feel so broken right now. I take the deepest of breaths and leave his side for a moment, standing up. I wipe my eyes, the doctor handing me some tissues. I crack the smallest of smiles. "My eyes still work..." I say to her, half in embarrassment and half in the necessity to stay positive. "That's more like it, Tyren." She tells me. I sit down again, my eyes ready to give way again, but I stop them. "We can try to operate and remove the tumor. It has a 60% success rate, and the other 40% can come from Chemotherapy afterwards. You've been to school, you know the consequences. Just know that you are safe." She goes on about my treatments some more, that I should come back for more sessions to ensure I'm learned in all of the ways of treating myself without too much assistance. That's just it though; I'll need a lot of assistance. There'll be no going out camping, no going out drinking. My immune system will be broken. Torn apart by the chemotherapy. After the operation, that is. I don't know when that is; not soon enough. I'll likely find out next time. I feel so small right now. How do I even begin to tell Matthew, and Mark? My whole family? My friends? Kyanite? Vy? Alex...? I just can't fall now. Not at the first hurdle. If I am going to race, I am going to win. I open the door myself, and I look at the pair that sit in front of me. Mark, Matthew. Sitting with two spaces between them. The redness plagues my eyes due to the tears. Uncle Mike, who I can't quite see, hasn't wept a single tear. I'm not crying now, but I can feel myself about to. This is my calling to the grave, and I know it... Mike opens his mouth to speak first. I go to sit down straight away. "Tyren has a brain tumor. It's treatable, but we're going to have to fork out a lot of cash, that we can fork out, to treat it. He's going to need help. And if you're going to be a good mate, and you're going to be a good best friend," He says, pointing toward Mark, then Matthew. "You'll have to be with him every step of the way."

[Jack Lexington]

Together we enter the hospital for the millionst time it seems. I'm getting way too familiar with this building be it for my own health or friends. Today is not about me and judging by how nervous everybody is, how quietly they walk and how serious their expressions are, I know it's nothing to be taken lightly.

While Tyren, who's become very stern and pale, enters one of the rooms with his uncle I'm left to sit outside with Mark.
I couldn't picture a person, who I'm more uncomfortable with than him, yet we have to sit side by side to wait here for the same reason: Tyren.
As much as I hate him there has to be some decency inside of him when he cares so much about him. Maybe that's the reason he faked my attack on him...so he could gain his friendship again.
"So, you two are closer again?" I try to brek the uncomfortable silence after a good ten minutes of staring at the opposite wall and thinking that I shouldn't have come because of what might come out of this. I'm starting to feel more and more guitly for slashing into him at the pregames. When he was doing better and we became friends that bad conscience went away but now it's back.
It's threatening to suffocate me and makes breathing a little harder than before.
So I decide to focus on the door that I can hear muffled voice behind. What"s going to come out of this? I try not to let my imagination run wild but start biting my nails instead.
"What happened between you?" I finally ask to pass the time.

After what seems forever the door opens. I only need to cast one glance at my friend to know how bad it is. Tyren eyes are read from tears, his expression blank. But I know there"s so much more going on behind those eyes. And Tyren doesn't cry. Not unless it's really bad.
Instantly I drop my hand from my mouth and get up just to hear his uncle tell us for him.
"Tyren has a brain tumor."
'What?' I don't voice my horror but I think it's written all over my face.
" It's treatable, but we're going to have to fork out a lot of cash, that we can fork out, to treat it. He's going to need help. And if you're going to be a good mate, and you're going to be a good best friend," He says, pointing at us. "You'll have to be with him every step of the way."
I gasp inaudibly because I can't wrap my mind around these aweful news. I did hear the part that it's treatable though, so I'm not completely desperate from one second to the next. Plus I refuse to believe anything bad will happen to my best friend. His expression tells me differently though.
I have no idea what to say or do so I do whatever feels right in that moment, which is not to hug him and maybe make him break down that way because he's clearly hanging on my a thread. Instead I just place my hand on his shoulder and let him know.
"Whatever you need."

Tyren doesn't look at me once and I don't dare to look straight into his tear streaked face either. He must be in a very dark place right now.

I know I want to help him however I can although I doubt he"s ready to even think about that right now.
My mind races to all the possibilties...maybe my father can introduce a foundation in his company or something. I know I will spend every penny I own to help him.

Then I cast a glance at his uncle, who seems like an understanding, solid rock like person. He's going to help him, I know. That's the advantange of a family like Tyrens, there so many members who will give an arm and a leg for you.

Without me being able to prevent it a knot is starting to form in my stomach that's making me feel sick from one moment to the next as it dawns on me that this might mean the end for Tyren. I slap that thought away as quickly as I can. It's not. Tyren's my friend and he's going to be fine.
'Fuck' I don't say it but I'm sure everybody thinks the same.