wallflowers { rabbit x wilma } ali

[k!ah]

I don’t lay on the tiles on that walkway today, I lay else where, my fingers playing with the carpet that was my cushion. The roof is not filled with light today, only small bursts of light flickering in and out of my view as I swayed my head from side to side. I don't know why I do this, I just do, my neck aching from the continuos movement. But I don't tsp because I like to watch the lights, I like to feel the carpet. It was different, different from the sheet of light and cold white floor.

The nurses wouldn't come today. They wouldn't pick me off the floor like an empty paper bag because in the place where I lay now it was okay. They said that not many people actually used this room, usually just that girl who was as quiet as a mouse, the one who liked to stare out the window into the world outside, not even a whisper of a word escaping her lips. I haven't exactly met her yet. I have seen her, her eyes almost glazed over a nurse running her comb through the girls almost white hair. Hair which was very pretty, almost as white as the lights and the tiles which surrounded us when we exited this ward and entered a new one. I often wan ere what it would be like to compare the contrast of the girls silvery hair to the lights.

Now I lay beside her chair.

She doesn't say a word.

But neither do I because I am not one for words.

So, instead, I begin to hum, the low sound was different from the humming of a machine, it was gentle and soothing and musical, making the silence which hung around us like a thick layer os smoke, thin slightly. I open my moth and the hum turns into a low melody, my vocal cords producing a sound which would make even the loudest babies cries melt away into quiet snores. People have often told me that my voice felt like the touch of an angel, that is was beautiful. One ay it even brought tears to the eyes of that sweet nurse, that one with the soft smile, like a newly born kittens fur.

No words are mingled with the sound that escapes my lips. No words created the mood or told the story because I never used words, I relied on the sounds that I could create, I relied on the way I could dip my voice, or make it climb high, high into the sky.

Slowly I begin to sit off, the gentle sound of my voice sliding away into silence. I look at the gel with my amber eyes, tucking a strand of my dark hair behind my ear gently. I climb to my feet and stand behind the girl, like I had seen the nurse do, and run my fingers through her hair of silver. “Its very pretty.” I watch as the locks slide over my skin and between the gaps in my lingers like the brushes of a comb. “So white, like an angel.”

[ali]

Rabbit Liddell ❤ Well she lives in a fairy tale somewhere too far for us to find Rabbit woke, her heart in her throat, as she wailed loudly like a small child that had scraped their knee. Tears soaked her pillow and her screams had been so loud that the nurse seemed frighted when she'd come to check in on her; bewildered to why the poor girl was crying. Rabbit did not know why she was crying either, but she felt very sad for some reason- perhaps because of a nightmare or a forgotten memory- and so she had begun to cry. At first, Rabbit had tried to push the nurse away as she cried and cried, she didn't want the nurse to give her a cuddle; all she wanted was someone else, but that persons face was blurry and faded grey in her mind- forgotten. The poor girl was too weak to push or shove at the nurse, her body shook with every sob that passed through her chapped lips, so she collapsed into the womans arms. The nurse soothingly told Rabbit that everything was going to be okay, that it'd be alright, until Rabbit began to fade away. I'm so tired... whispered a voice inside Rabbit's head as she closed her eyes and began to dream again. When she woke again, when sunlight streamed through the little room in the pristine white walls of her cell room, Rabbit face was empty. Her normal days often began this way, wake up at 9 o'clock then the nurse would come in and give her a bath- and right on cue, the door opened and the gentle nurse came in; a soft smile on her face. Rabbit watched the gentle creature talk, her lips moving with a smile, in hopes of getting some words out of the broken girl; but Rabbit never talked. Words were lost to her, trapped inside but not desperate to get out. The poor girl was quiet, the nurse smiled with a sad touch. Rabbit wondered why the lady looked so sad; but she would never know cause the nurse only said nice things. "Come on sweetheart..." she said, gently helping Rabbit up off the bed "Time to get you a bath" *** By 11 o'clock the nurse had finished brushing her hair, a sensation Rabbit loved; the feeling of the soft bristles of the brush, combing through her hair made the poor girl smile- even with her eyes. It was relaxing, to have someone else do the simplest of things for you. The nurse said her goodbye's before walking off and leaving Rabbit alone to see the world pass by outside the window; this was her day, until bed time at 7 o'clock (or 9, on movie nights) Rabbit would sit by the large window which overlooked a fanciful garden with green lawns and hedge rows and flowers. She liked it by the window- no one ever seemed to bother her here. Until today. Rabbit had not noticed the girl lie beside the arm chair- an old thing which smelt of dust and possibly blood- she was sitting in until the girl hummed a beautiful singular note. It caught the attention of Rabbit who, though she did not turn to look at the girl, listened to the melody the girl was producing; it sounded like an angel. When the girl stopped, Rabbit was alone for a few moments before she felt soft fingers combing through her hair. The poor girl flinched slightly, confused to what was happening. She was bought out of the trance she'd been sitting in while staring, only to realize that the girl was brushing her hair. Her tense shoulders dipped, relaxing as the girl brushed her hair delicately with her hands. "It's very pretty. So white, like an angel." the girl said as she continued to comb Rabbit's hair. Rabbit sat there for a few moments, soaking in the feeling of her hair being brushed, before she turned and looked at the girl with a blank happy smile. The girl who stood behind her was a pretty little thing, pale skin with brown hair and eyes; she looked so innocent and gentle. Rabbit did not say anything to her, she never spoke, but she did smile wider as she watched the girl- with curiosity flickering in her dead eyes.

[k!ah]

With an almost blank smile I continue to run my long delicate fingers through the almost white hair. My head tilts to the side slightly as I watch the thin fibres run threw my fingers before falling limply onto the back of the chair before my fingers catch the lost strands to repeat the process. I have always wanted to see an angel, one that had a ring of light around them that was so bright that you could barely even see any facial expression but you knew that they would be beautiful because of the light, the light which almost seems to scream holiness. I always imagined angels walking in light, every step they take would be elegant and graceful and it would be something that would be burnt into the back of your eyelids but it wouldn't be like a night mare, but like the most beautiful dream that you would ever have had the pleasure to enjoy.

The girl seems to tense up at my first touch. Her shoulder rising and her breath quickening and I almost step away because something about her reaction tells me to, but then I ask myself why and then I ask myself why I was asking myself why and then my mind seems to unravel with questions about why and why I am asking questions until I push it all out of mind, until all i can feel is the white hair of the girl in front of me sliding threw my fingers.

There was no need to ask questions after all because most questions had no answer, so why ask. Finally I smile again my mind as blank as it had been moments before I had decided to comb the girls hair. The girls shoulders relax and a new smile, one different from the previous one, paints my lips. Her breath returns to normal and it is as though she enjoys the movement of my fingers through her hair which makes me thinking of a cat and the way a cats whole persona could change depending on the way you ran your fingers threw their fur. 

I take a peak over the girls head to see that a smile mirroring my own is painted across her lips and it makes me pause for a moment because each time you see this girl her face is blank but right now she is smiling and because of that I feel something warm seep through my body, but I cant define the feeling- was it happiness? Well was it? I didn't understand, maybe it was? But what was happiness? Was happiness meant to fill you with warmth, was it smiling? I DONT KNOW. so what was this feeling? A frown slips onto my forehead, my fingers freezing in the strands of white, lost in a frozen snow storm like my own mind.

"What is happiness? What is this feeling?" The question falls from my lips before I can even, my face as blank as my words, the frown still etched into the pale sculpture of my face. 

[ali]

Rabbit Liddell ❤ Well she lives in a fairy tale somewhere too far for us to find The blonde closed her eyes tightly, soaking in the sensation of the girls fingers delicately weaving in and out of her hair. Strands that strayed from the girls hands, she rescued them and ran her hand through the golden hair again; the girl was so gentle that Rabbit could barely feel her hair move. She felt as if she were floating on the sea, deep but somewhat warm and safe. Bird song was not lost to the wind as a soft current pulled Rabbit under; however she did not feel the need to panic. She was peaceful; gentle strokes of hands were running their way through her hair and that was what made her feel safe.  However, all of a sudden, the girls hands stopped. That gentle sensation of having ones hairs brushed was suddenly whipped out from beneath her and so she fell and opened her eyes. Rabbit was overly confused, to why the girl had stopped- the nurse never stopped until Rabbit fell asleep in her chair but this girl had. The girl did not ask why she had stopped, most of her mind was void of a concious thought; only whispers of memories and thoughts of an unknown origin occured- even then, those distant ideas and thoughts were infrequent. "What is happiness? What is this feeling?" spoke the girl with words that where void of actual reasoning Rabbit never, ever, turned around in her chair- she always sat facing forward, looking out onto the gardens- but today, she felt her muscles move and her torso turned round to get a look at the girl. She looked up at the girls placid face, a frown etched upon her forehead, with a blank face. She could not fill her mouths with words to answer her; she would not be able to answer her anyway. Rabbit's mind was void of thought but somehow, she still found her hand moving to the girls hair and running her hands through it just as the girl had done for her. Her hair was curly, knotted and rough against her fingers but it was as if Rabbit wanted the girl to feel better.