I dont know how to deal with this { kitty }

[k!ah]

"Kill the man. Do it now Crona, do it now and make your mother proud." The words cut into my skin like a searing hot blade and I turn my almost teary gaze o the woman who called herself my mother. I wanted to make her proud, I really did. She was my mother after all, but there was something holding me back, the way the mans eyes were filled with fear, round and scared. It was like those numerous times Lady Medusa had made me try and take the lives of all those baby creatures. All of them had the same scared eyes, and it was only when I couldn't handle the darkness anymore that I had cracked and taken the life of one of the small creatures. I hated the though of killing, I hated almost everything about it... but I wanted to make her happy too, even if she treated me differently to how others treated there kids- she was still the only person I had, the only person who had shown even a shred of love towards me. 

"I dont think- I don't want to, can we just hurt him- we don't have to kill do we? I don't think I can do this, please, I don't-" My words are all over the place as I turn to face the woman who was ordering me to take this mans life, my fingers shake against the rather long knife in my hand. It was heavy, heavy with the burden of the life it was about to take, I was almost sure if I shook any more, that it would fall to the ground, where it would stay. 

"Kill him now."

And thats all it took.

Suddenly I wasn't shaking anymore, my whole body had transformed. A burst of laughter bubble at the surface of my lips, my eyes wide and filled with a sense of madness. I move forward, my steps uneven and all over the place, my torso bouncing around like a hose that was left on full power. Kill him, i would. I move forwards, my knife ready o plunge itself into the mans chest when my eyes catch a glimpse of movement. I stop, slowly the insane laughter dying on my lips, my knife falling from my hand, tears filling my eyes. I woldnt do it. I couldnt do it. 

I fall to my knees beside the man who is instantly on his feet scrambling away, but he doesn't get far because after a moment a knife is buried deep into his back. Medusa turns on me. "You are a disgrace. We are going home now and you are going to be sorry. How long should I lock you up this time? 3 weeks? How about longer? Get up, we are going home." She spits, before walking away, knowing that I would follow. I cry for a moment longer, tears slipping down my cheeks and onto the cement floor. 

[kittyoemily]

Charlette Green Purse

I turned my head quickly up to see the kid who just threw me on the floor run away with the food at hand down the alleyway and take a sharp right. So much for selling food to a boy who needed it. So much for thinking I could be a good career right off the bat. Even this merely homeless kid or what ever you called him could push me down. To make things worse what I do next is just sit on the floor. Sit there completely stunned. Even if I miraculously raised enough money for a career academy I wonder if I would be allowed in.

I sighed and decided to keep moving onwards. Maybe I could find the other kids who I gave food to and get back the money they owe me. I got up and brushed myself off as well as I could from the ally grime. My poor pink shoes were covered in some pretty nasty grime. Instead of crying like I wanted to do, I continued to walk forward. Walk away like a career, or at least try to. I was heading in the opposite direction as the kid who shoved me down, which in fact probably was not a career thing to do. I knew however what was the smart thing to do.

"Kill the man. Do it now Crona, do it now and make your mother proud." I heard those words as they traveled like ice cutting a chalk board in two. I first instinct was to hide behind the trash can. So I did make my way behind it, but I stopped myself before bending. I thought about it. Seeing someone kill someone would be a good experience. My palms sweating I stood there to watch the people where one of them said that sentence.

The guy being told to kill the man spoke up again."I dont think- I don't want to, can we just hurt him- we don't have to kill do we? I don't think I can do this, please, I don't-" I rubbed my sweaty fingers against each other in each hand and thought this kid should kill the guy. I whisper as if mimicking what the other person said."Kill him now." It was like an instinct of mine. Come on I wanted to see this happen. My forehead dripped of sweat from anticipation.

I hear an evil laugh. My body bent down quickly with out thinking. Suddenly drops of sweat go rolling down my forehead. I feel my body shake. The clinging of a knife against the ground sends a cooling shower relieving me of the heat. The knife is thrown to flesh though with my eyes closed I know what happened. Tear drops make their way down my face dripping on the hair that lays close to my face.

Even with the discomfort of tears rolling on my face I hear the lady speak again "You are a disgrace. We are going home now and you are going to be sorry. How long should I lock you up this time? 3 weeks? How about longer? Get up, we are going home." Suddenly I feel awful for ever routing for him to kill someone. That is for the Games right. I try and set it straight in my head. This guy was brave enough to not kill someone here, so I bet he is brave enough to kill someone in the games right? It takes some courage to stick up to someone as cruel as like that. I wipe the tears off of my face and go up to the guy. " Hey." I said enthusiastically even though the kid clearly seemed sad." How about you teach me some of that bravery for the hunger games please?" Suddenly my smile was back on my face, and I really wanted to learn how to be a good career from this guy.