{ telephone banking } ✺ finn/cha/stella
Oct 10, 2014 11:27:09 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2014 11:27:09 GMT -5
fionnbharr stoddard.
✺
In complete and utter honesty, I didn't believe in myself that I would make it out of there. I mean, I wasn't expecting to completely die as much as they must have, with giving me a one and all, but I expected more than just a simple punch and cut and then running back out. Nobody hit me once, nobody even breathed in my direction except for the boy I cut open, and surprisingly I'm okay with that. I'm okay knowing that I purposefully cut open somebody's son's leg, because at least he's still alive. The sound of skin ripping open continued to echo even when I was sure Stella and me were out of there - except I wasn't really sure where there was anymore. We ran out together, panting and with the empty satchel of mine clapping against my back with every step I took, but even while we ran out of what I could tell was immediate damage and a faint glow of dying sins, I had no idea where I was going exactly.
Only twice did I hit somebody: once I punched Kia Soul, and I missed or blocked or something, I couldn't actually see anything, and the second time I stabbed a guy in the leg, and had it not been for the blood that ran down the tip of my spear and onto my hand and for his grunt, I wouldn't have known I even hit something nevertheless an actual person. I knew I hit Kia Soul because I never saw him walk another ten steps after that, but there's no way I killed him, I know that much as well. And for the second boy, I pray it was too dark for Jael to see who hit who. In this hell, I want to do good, I swear I do. It's just hard, you see, with everybody trying to kill everybody else it's hard to keep up without stabbing back into it.
I'm not proud, but I'm okay.
(We'll be okay, Jael.)
I'm almost too scared to stop running until I can almost taste my heart because it's so dedicated to beat through my throat right now. I'm almost too scared to stop by the time I notice it's just Stella and me, holding hands like elementary children as we slow to walks and my chest begins to heaves in motions and tides of sins and exhaustion. (She killed a girl.) I forgot that, that she was already sinned, the first, Meghan Cooper and Stella Calloway. One who had lost and one who already took a life out of this pit, lowering the numbers from 24 to 23 on the list of coming casualties. She killed somebody, and here I was shivering, and I bless the dark for it masquerades my face turning white.
She killed a man, and I'm still sitting here like a child. I'm not sure of I'm scared of her or for her, I'm not sure if she's the good guy anymore for killing, or if she's the blessing to a corrupt soul; I'm scared of the uncertainty. And I wish Jael was here, man always knew how to answer all of my questions, and I wished I had something more than the empty bag on my back and the blood drying on my hand. Mending Stella's wounds like a mother kissing bruises to make them better, I feel guilty. I'm helping a murderer escape the scene, and it scares me, but she is no monster. That much I know.
"I don't need your help."
"I know, shuddup."
I'm not sure why, but I smiled while I said that the same way I smiled while poking at her arm. She was in my care, and it was ironic; she killed a man and I'm here to kiss her bruises full-heartedly. It's weird to me, that even though I'm conflicted with where she's aligned, I still consider her a friend. She's a warrior, and I'm not sure what I am yet but good. And we'll be okay.
this is the thread in which finn does stuff i.e. getting items, crying and using f/a on stella