bones { finn vs galaxy, day 8 }

[Deleted]

[presto][/presto]

F I N N

I'm so goddamn thirsty.

Nobody else died last night.

I'm all alone, and so are three others.

These are just facts at this point, the same way that Stella's body is cooling off back in district eleven to room temperature and that I'm shaking. I've been shaking for the past four days, and I don't know why. I'm no longer scared, not scared to die or to live. They're both equally terrifying, and I've realized that. There is no release, with every passing day I'm just more tired, but once I die it's nothing. Absolutely nothing, and that's not release. That's prison. I never moved last night from that spot after I tried to bash my head in, there was no point to. There was no point in moving, or in drinking, or in trying. I stayed on my back that night with the conch in my left hand and my knife in the right, carving into the ground.

(Never-)

It hurts so bad, after eight days. It hurts to breathe and to exist, and my joints feel like they're unraveling almost, breaking apart as if their will is dissolving with Stella. Time is eroding - the waves against the shore, the seconds against my bones. I'm dead already. I never knew it, but I died before I even volunteered. There never was a point in coming here, there never was a body to save, a soul to help. There was just death, (Esme, Stella,) there was only the crashing of swords like tides against the shore of flesh.

(fuck-)

Every day more is a death wish I think, just by breathing I'm tempting fate. Hopefully they're getting pissed, maybe I'll get lucky this time. I've fought leviathan and rats and Stella's and devils, and I'm still standing. One leg, nine fingers, one eye, four weapons, two dead allies, I'm still standing. (Why are you still standing dead man?) Because I must.

(with-)

The main thing I think I've learned by coming here was that blood is awful. It tastes rough, bitter, and there so much of it. There's just so much blood in people, twenty four bodies, twenty four times the amount of blood, there's so much of it. I miss being ignorant of the pain, of how much it hurts to make others bleed and how much it hurts to bleed yourself. I was so ignorant, and it's painful knowing.

(a-)

For hours I've been paranoid I think, shaking and screaming in my sleep because when I wake up I still hear echoes of them. For hours I've seen Cha and Stella and Esme and Asa and Barnabas on the ground bleeding into the slime and I'm sat carving into the ground six simple words to get me through just one more day, week, month, year, eternity. I've stabbed the ground so many times I feel like I'm qualified to pass as a career - a knife, an axe, a sword, a spear. The knife is easiest to carve with, and I wish I never had a reason to know that. I wish I had never picked up a spear that first day, or the sword and the knife day five, or Stella's axe.

(dead man.)

I wish I hadn't jumped when I saw her - red hair, I wish I never saw it. I wish I hadn't have screamed my self awake, and just let it think it was Cha again. I'm shaking as I stare her in the face, because I haven't seen her since the day I lost Cha. She killed Cha, this bitch took her. (I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you) I'll be the last fucking thing you see, because you "never fuck with a dead man."

"DON'T FUCK WITH A DEAD MAN"




[finn attacks galaxy]
tphRjIrT200+1000
[1044 -- Shallow Cut on Left Calf -- 3.5 damage]

---

step and repeat, tears fall to the beat
smile through the pain, feel the acid rain
and i ain't ready but i'll hold steady

---

200+1000

[shrimp]

I've been going down
Down into the river baby
Listen to the sound
It's something only god knows

There were no faces in the sky tonight (or at the very least its substitute made of stone as dark as coal). And that's probably bad news - they're looking for blood, the Capitol. And if there's even one day where it's not shed something terrible is bound to happen. The butterflies in my stomach have grown active once the anthem ends with its notes reverberating through my head, merely an echo of what it once was.

If I get out of here, will there be some Pavlovian dog reaction to this song? Will my gut be filled with a primal fear every time I'm supposed to wave to the crowd as it booms? It's not even worth thinking about, to be honest. Who knows if I'll even be alive tomorrow? There's four of us left still - Patricia's with me right now but she could turn any moment; Crusader's still out there and I don't think either of us could survive if we face him head on. And then there's the boy from 8, forever an enigma ("that pretty boy," Patricia said. Did he get by on sponsorship? I don't know).

We're all here for a reason, whether it be luck or skill. All of us are dangerous. At least Patricia hasn't murdered me so far - patched up my bites, even, which was awfully nice for her to do to a girl whose life must be extinguished for hers to continue. There's still a trace of humanity left in this arena, however small. And Patricia, even though she could be my most dangerous foe, is nice enough company when she's not screaming in my face about Pearl. Or screaming that I need to die.

An eye of a hurricane is where it's most calm - the center is the place where you stop to rest, and now we must have walked back into the wind and rain because everything moves so fast; one minute we're alone in a cavern with a bubbling lake, and the next- it happened so fast.

(separation that I need to work out with rook i'll write this soon
- fissure explodes in the cornucopia, the lake's pretty close so they hear something i think
- galaxy makes a run for it? tells patricia to move too?
- maybe she thinks it's a gas leak i have no clue
I don't know something happens.)

My lungs hurt, my legs hurt, everything hurts and the rush of the water is all I hear as I stumble and pant, my stomach throbbing and my snake bites acting up again and I just need to rest. I have no idea where Patricia's went, and now I probably never will - the next time I see her, it may be her face upon the ceiling. Or maybe mine will show up before hers ever will?

The river must have beckoned me because I'm back again (Kendrick's falling and if I can just reach out fast enough, far enough-) and I just want to go back where I came from, back towards the noises that must have not been anything I was overreacting (why do I do this why am I always such an idiot?) and then there's white hot light that blinds me and I know I'm not alone. Someone's here, shit. How can I go run through this fucking place and not realize that I might run into someone who's out for my blood?

The voice is not Patricia's, it's definitely not Crusader's. It's the Boy from 8. Pretty boy. And he's screaming to not fuck with a dead man and there's a cut on my leg and oh my god I'm going to have to fight him. He's all desperation and madness and I don't fucking know what the hell I walked into but I scramble backwards and fall flat on my ass, my yelp equating the small one that had accompanied the light just moments (seconds? minutes?) ago.

He has one leg. Oh my god. What the fuck has he been through?

I don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know and I can't possibly think about this because he is trying to kill me, this one-legged mystery boy and I need to move move move before he slays me without another moment's hesitation. I roll to my left, grabbing my sword with both hands and aiming it towards his figure if only Tau hadn't kicked over the light maybe I'd still be able to see something besides where his hand is and I just I can't oh my god just stop.

This mystery boy isn't a mystery anymore. He's a loose cannon.

But he's a dead man. He said so. And "Dead men don't move."

I whisper it more to myself than to him but he'll have heard me all the same; the echoes in here amplify each breath, each tremor in my voice, each guttural scream. I hold my sword out, and I know he's gonna move first but I just need to defend myself I need to do something other than just stand here and watch him. I've got people to see, I've got things I have to do. I suppose killing him is one of them. Fuck.

You figure it out, I can't stay
Water's in the clouds
Is my life about to change?
Who knows, who cares

[Deleted]

My hands are shaking and I can almost feel the current of blood freezing over in my wrists as I swing at her, barely nicking her leg before she falls to the ground - not how Stella did. Red's leg is still connected.There's nothing to bring us two together; she's a murderer, she's walking sin for cold blood and I'm a saviour. I saved her, I swear. (Shut up and kill her already, dead man.) I made sure Stella would never dance again, that's bad, but I saved her from this pain of living, I saved her from feeling the blood freeze over her bone and I made it as quick as I could. I tried, I tried to hard to take away the pain, and I tried so hard to make sure she felt nothing.

Red, though, I'll make her feel everything I felt on that anthem two nights ago. I'll fucking blind her, I'll fucking end her, I promise it on any truth of my name I can still hold to it. For four nights I've slept with Cha's map and I never looked at it, because I stole it, I was gonna return it I swear, but Red, she fucking killed her. There was no 'Cha' to return it to anymore, (so why do you feel so bad, dead man?) four people left and none of them were the people I loved. Asa, Barnabas, Pearl, Cha, Stella, Stella, there's no one left for me, and it hurts so fucking bad.

Haven't you ever heard not to fuck with a man with nothing left to lose, Red?

"Dead men don't move."

It's quiet but not inaudible, like the clicking in the back of my jaw every time I flinch, which I swear was loud enough to hear in the silence after her response. Don't fucking lie to me. I tear Cha's map out of my pocket as my sword clangs to the floor, positioning the smudged lines in front of the flashlight in some attempt to make it readible as the light reads between the white of the paper. My beam of light enflames into a galaxy, directly in Red's face still, and I'm pissed, I'm so pissed. I want to smash the flashlight into her skull for having the nerves to find me after killing Cha.

"THEN WHERE THE FUCK'S HER BODY."

I scream it, and for a second I'm terrified that another cave in will erupt and take my second leg. She fucking killed Cha, she fucking killed her and has the nerve to look me in the face. The only person who's ever loved me enough in this hell hole this entire time, I lost her to somebody who can't even stand up. My knees are shaking and sputtering like that they want to leap forward more than I do and kill her. I can do it, I can I swear, (then do it, dead man.)

Screaming like that left me light headed, and my body's shaking again like it did one night ago, three days ago, eight days ago, two nights ago, and I feel like I'm going to pass out again. I feel like I'm gonna fall, and I pray I do almost. I want to kill her, I do I swear, but I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to stand here breathing eight days in without Cha and Stella and Barnabas and I can't do it.

The map continues to bath her in constellations during the few seconds I'm staring her in the face, and I'm full rage and full tears the entire time. My chest convulses and I can't breathe, I'll kill her. But I just want to know where Cha went, I can't hear what Red is saying past the sound of blood rushing through my ears. I'll skin her like she did Cha, oh god what if she skinned Cha oh god, I panic as I look in her face again. She's murdered too before, in the feast she had that boy I remember. She's lost and murdered, she had to have, she can kill me. She killed Cha, she can kill me.

I choke, and I smash the flashlight against the ground. The glass shatters to the bulb as the constellations flee the room and the light dims into a single ray, and I snatch my sword from off the ground. I'll kill her, she'll kill me - one of us won't walk out of here.

[attacks galaxy]
Q2JKWQyA200+1000
[1191 -- Block -- 0.0 damage]200+1000

[shrimp]

So we took a van down to colorado
Where we ran into the dead
I took you by the hand

"THEN WHERE THE FUCK'S HER BODY."

His voice is booming, ricocheting and smacking my eardrums and oh god oh god what's he talking about? I don't understand. Her body? I don't know anything about this kid, I don't know who he's been with up until now. Maybe I saw glimpses of him in the bloodbath, flashes of his flashlight in the chasm when I screamed and Tau fell oh, now's not the time I can't start crying now.

He's shining a paper at me, and I'm blinded with what I know are constellations because I did exactly the same thing in my Private Training Session

~~~
"There's Aquila, the Eagle - its brightest star's supposed to live twice as long as ours isn't that cool? That even when everything here is dead it will continue to live on and on and on."

"And there's Cygnus, the swan - did you know that this star's a supergiant? It's 1,500 lightyears away but it still shines so so so brightly 'cause it's so much hotter and bigger than our sun. If you switched the two, we'd all burn to a crisp."

"Astronomy's fascinating; there's all these variables that can come in place to create the universe and here we are, just a blip on the map, and..."

They're not interested. Some guy's snoring, one of them fell asleep in their pork chops.

Honestly, I'm furious. It's 15 minutes. That's all I needed. And they don't even care enough about their jobs or about their precious little tributes to even listen to them speak.

What do they want to see? Do they want to see me rip someone's fucking head off?

Fine. Have it your way.
~~~

and I don't know how else to explain it other than pure, carnal fear but it sits in my stomach and makes me halt and shield my eyes. Galaxy. He knows me, I don't know him. What did I do? I don't know I don't know I don't know and there's no reasoning with him like with Patricia. She at least had asked me if I killed Pearl. He thinks... I don't know. Whoever he's talking about's dead so her body must have mo-

Oh god.

Her face flashes before me and I'm such a fucking idiot how else would she have died yesterday and not in the Bloodbath? It's his district partner. And he... Does he think I killed her? Does he think she's alive? What does he think? Does it matter?

No, it doesn't. It can't. He's about to try and fucking kill me and I don't think that talking to him is the best option here - what can I say? No I did not see her? Why would he believe me? If he thinks I killed her then in this state of mind there's nothing I can do that's going to change anything (maybe this is what Praxis felt when he woke Tau up from his coma - doesn't make him right though).

I can't see his face, even. I don't know what he's thinking, I don't know what he's about to do and I'm at the mercy of a right hand that can flick the flashlight off - just like that. Motherfucker. It smashes to the ground with a crash as terrifying as when Tau kicked over the candle and I know he's coming and all I can do is put up my sword and brace for impact as I hear his feet slam closer and closer and closer - OOF

My sword clashes against his weapon, as large and heavy as mine and I don't know what to do to get out of this there's nothing I can do he has to go he has to go he has to go oh my god "I don't even know what yoU'RE TALKING ABOUT". I slash, hard.

[attacks finn]
lbDnyf0hsword
[Miss -- 0.0 damage]

rerolling for accuracy

sword
[Block -- 0.0 damage]

Know that even with your doubts, it's ok
Take into account that it's not about to change
Who knows, who cares

sword�sword

[Deleted]

We plunge into darkness with a single smash, and I run at her, swinging as hard as I could with as much weight on my sword as I could and the best I got was shredding my sword against her's. I grit and back up, and she swings and I hear it and oh my god oh god, she could've killed me, or crippled me in that swipe and I gasp in a chord with the sound of her sword slicing air. My eyes are wide, straining to see something in the abyss other than the slight ray of ground illuminated and I panting more out of fear rather than actually being out of breath.

"I don't even know what yoU'RE TALKING ABOUT." Her blade strikes down again and I throw my sword up, praying more that I don't lose a hand than actually blocking it, and I don't scream when the two smash again. I hadn't given her words more thought than an indication of where the fuck she was still at until after I was out of the hurricane, and my right arm is twitching under the weight of my own sword after eight anthems, seven nights, two allies, two murders, three rats, so much blood.

She didn't touch me.

For a moment I'm content, two swipes and I didn't get hurt, no blood is spilt, but it's until I start thinking about her words that I get pissed. There's no way, she has to know, I don't even know her fucking name to yell at her, she has to know. There's nobody else that can. "CHA." My voice cracks in that one syllable, she's a fucking liar. Red's a murderer, a liar, (so why can't you kill her, dead man?) "CHA LEVIANE."

I wish I still had my flashlight in my hand so I could throw it again, I need something to throw, something to break. I can't yell anymore, it's ridiculous. My voice is cracking and it's like I'm a kid throwing a tantrum again, I need her to know that I know she's a fucking liar. We're all doomed anyways, what's the point of lying anymore? My nose starts to twitch and I strain to see her - I can't see her anymore, I can't hear her. Red's a damn chameleon.

She's gone, I lost her to her shade and I feel like I'm drowning with Stella all over again. I need Cha, I need Cha and I can't breathe, (there is no Cha, dead man) I need her. I can barely hear her shuffling over the sound of my own breathing trying to keep my tear ducts at bay because don't you cry, Finn, don't you dare, I just have to kill her. I stuff my bad hand in my mouth - the one with only four fingers left. I can't cry, not right now. My better leg falters, the one that isn't a stump, and I swear I'll kill her once I find her. I have to.

(Come on dead man.)

I can't fucking see her, and I can't hear her and she doesn't even have to try to hide from me right now because I'm absent from it all. I didn't think about it when I smashed the flashlight onto the ground; I didn't think about how she wouldn't see me, but I wouldn't see her. The small bulb doesn't light up as much as the galaxy had, it only has that one beam. In a second's time almost, I slip the fingers from my mouth and angle my sword into the light, reflecting it until I find it - red hair.

[finn attacks galaxy]
ERcRximE200+1000
[1066 -- Severed Right Arm at Shoulder -- 10 damage]

"Why did you take her from me?"200+1000

[shrimp]

My sword clatters against his and I panic. We're locked against each other and I have no clue what part of his is where and what part of mine is where and if I could just get away, could just run as fast as my feet could carry me I'd be okay but no, no no no he'd follow me he'd follow me and I can't die like Blaire did with a sword to the back. I wanted to see when I died, but what if I don't even get the chance? What if it all ends today, right now? I'm not ready, I'll never be ready, I can't be ready because I need to get back for them, they're all that matter. Calliope and Dad, Tau and Blaire, Val and Kendrick.

"CHA." he shrieks in my ear, and I wince and try to back up but my head hits the wall of the cavern and I know I'm trapped I'm trapped fuck fuck fuck fuck this isn't good. "CHA LEVIANE."

I don't know a Cha Leviane - was that her name, the girl from 8? The girl who's dead? I didn't kill her you've got the wrong gal, it wasn't me it wasn't me it wasn't me oh my god what if I die at the hands of someone who went for the wrong person? I didn't fucking do this shit, I didn't kill her the only one I've killed is that boy from 12 who stuck his blade through Val's heart (and I watched her sink to the ground with her eyes bugged out, stuck in time and dead without a chance I can't die like that no no no no) and while at night he drags me down to the depths to rest next to Kendrick's bones he is not Cha Leviane.

"I DON'T KNO-"

Ag-

Everything's white hot agony and oH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT oh my god I don't I can't it hurts it hurts and I sCREAM for what seems like an eternity oh my god what did he do what did he do? The sword's so much heavier to carry now and when I try to move my arm nothing's happening nothing's happening why is nothing happening did he sever a nerve did he puncture it so bad that the slightest movement causes jolts of pain to zap zap zap up my spine did he - did he did he no he didn't no no no he didn't oh my god no no no NO MY ARM IS-

I gasp for air in between screams.

"Class, in the event of an amputation it is important to keep calm."

"YOU FUCKER."
"You - YOU FUCKING-"

Fuck you fuck you fuck you no you don't get to do this to me no you can't you can't I need to get home and you're not stopping me I don't care who the fuck this Cha Leviane person is whether she's your lover your friend your nickname for a pot of tea I don't give a shit you're fucking dead dead dead dead and I'm rushing him with all the force I have left, knowing my time's ticking away bit by bit but I can't let this stop me even though the pain's far too much to bear. I always said I wanted to drown but I don't want to be as bone dry as the desert either oh my god oh my god

[attacks finn]
mtx1HhPLsword
[1144 -- Deep Gash on Cheek -- 8.5 damage]

sword

[Deleted]

"Why did you take her from me?"

"I DON'T KNO-"

I swing, I swing without even looking because all I see with the aid of the dark is spots and red, and I'm so pissed. The tears feel like they're boiling and I swing my sword aiming for the X in her chest, (I hate you, I hate you, I hate you) how can she lie so easily? I didn't even hear the beginning of her response before I swung, because I'll kill her - I want to know where Cha is, I want to know what she did. But I don't want to hear her voice anymore, I don't want to hear the snakes of her lies and I'll kill her. I'll do it, I swear.

thump.

In that one echoing thump, it all froze. My anger, her shouting, dead man's whispers and Red's lies, and I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, it stopped with that one thump leaving me with just a pounding heart for that one infinity built into that second. And then that second ended, and she's screaming to match the length of Stella and I's forever, and it rebounds with that thump and I'm not scared, I'm not angry, I'm not content. It's all just frozen for me still as she throws out her battle cry, she breathes.

"YOU FUCKER. You - YOU FUCKING-"

Oh god, oh god what did I do, how did I do that, how the fUCK DID I, did I just-

Her arm's on the ground. I can see it through the reflection of light, the blood spraying on the floor in the same shade of Red's hair almost, and for a second I almost believed she suffocated on her own screams. For a second I prayed she had, and then her sword dug into my cheek, drawing a streak. A hot curtain of red swam down and I did nothing but gasp as Red's face neared mine, until I wiped my face with my arm and son of a bitch it stung, it stung so fucking bad and at first it didn't feel bad. It didn't hurt all that much until I touched it and the pain settled in and I swear to god, I'm gonna kill a bitch.

I can hear her breathing as my skin boils under my own blood, and I swear it's like looking a bull right in the face. My curtain of red is swiped away by my arm again and I stare her in where I think her eyes are; I'm scared she'll charge again. I'm steaming, my skin is ripped again once more and it's like losing an eye, a finger, a leg, I'm writhing almost and I grip my sword again staring her in the face. I can feel the physical features of my face: the one eye, my eyebrow muscles, the way my nose is turned inside out and I'll kill her.

"Tell me," tell me bull, just this one last thing and I swear I'll let you go (oh, but you won't, dead man, because no one cheers for the matador.)

[finn attacks galaxy]
k8IeKyPR200+1000
[1083 -- Shallow Cut on Neck -- 4.0 damage]

"Where is Cha Leviane."200+1000

[shrimp]

I can't stop the pain that scratches up my shoulder and into my brain and I can't stop hyperventilating after each scream and I can't stop I can't stop I need him to stop, dead in his tracks. How the fuck did he - how could he, how- my sword smashes into his face and I pray that I've hit his brain and I know I haven't, but his face runs black; the floor must be covered in our blood by now. "Class in the event of an amputation please stay calm" What kind of bullshit advice is that? How can I be calm? He cut my fucking arm off, it hurts like hell.

He merely wipes away the ink that drips down down down his cheek and asks me again. "Tell me, Where is Cha Leviane." What the fuck, dude - you just cut my arm off. How the fuck do you think that it's okay to ask this? It's not okay. It's not. It's not it's not it's not and I know with my track record I'm a big giant hypocrite for saying this but how is any facet of this situation "okay"?

(I hope it didn't hurt, Val. I hope it was instant. That'd be better than this).

I need to calm down, I need to calm down even though I can't I need to because that's what they said to do in first aid class back in 6 (I wore my hair in pigtails with violet ribbons and I called out my name as loud as I could and at nights she'd come and make me hot chocolate, the woman whose hands weaved together the universe) and if it works then my heartbeat will slow and then uh, then uh then something, does the exact science of it matter? It doesn't. None of it matters, as long as I can get out get out I need to get out. He nicks my neck, but it's just a scratch compared to this mess.

"I don't know, where the fuck, Cha Leviane is," I spit at him, backing away and holding up my sword with my remain- left, m-my remaining, left hand. It's as heavy as lead it's a wonder that I can even hold it at this point. I can feel the onslaught of black seeping down my shirt, staining it to permanence maybe I'll be able to camouflage with this fucking arena, hah

"And I don't care."

[attacks finn]
Wcg2U4Lisword
[1032 -- Shallow Cut on Right Shoulder -- 3.5 damage]

"Because she's dead."

sword

[Deleted]

"I don't know, where the fuck, Cha Leviane is,"

I can't tell the strings of truth from her anymore, I can't tell if what she's saying is a lie or not because she's said it so many times and maybe she's not lying, maybe Cha never died, maybe maybe maybe. Maybe she's in a crawl space somewhere, maybe she found a way out of here and made it back home and they counted her dead and maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe she's okay, maybe she isn't dead. Maybe Red isn't a murderer and maybe I still have all ten fingers, maybe Stella still loves me and maybe Asa and Barnabas aren't room temperature by now.

"And I don't care."

Red's heaving counts as stanza breaks I think, as she nicks at my shoulder and I don't know how to respond to her anymore. How does she keep up like this? How can lying be so easy and simple that she can forge a new galaxy of realities for herself? How can she not care, everybody's dead, how can she not fucking care? There has to be a part of her somewhere that cares, and- "because she's dead." I don't feel like yelling or screaming anymore, I choke. I'm silent, and my breathing is a whole another stanza, and I swear, she'll kill me.

Ha. My throat burns as I swallow air, and my cheek burns as my throat moves and my eye fold twitches because it's empty, and how can she not care? There's no room to not care anymore, I need her to care for five seconds and I want to swing again, I want to swing and take off her second arm and have her listen to me for five fucking seconds, she has to care, she has to. There's nobody else to care anymore, there's no good in the world and I need to know just one last time. There's nothing left to say as I wipe my face again, besides it fucking burns, it burns so much, and (why do you care, dead man?) I need her to care.

I need her to care, and I need Stella and Cha and Barnabas and Patricia and Jael and Asa and Matilda and I need home, I need something good and I need to know that there is more than constant destruction at this point. It's ironic - that I want all this good back in the world as I hack at Red, but what else can I do? How does she not care, how does she not know Cha? She has to. I bite my mouth before thinking about swinging again.

"I've killed two people, Red," (you shouldn't be alive, you aren't good, dead man, you aren't worth a third life) "don't fucking lie to me." I choke.

[finn attacks galaxy]
pf1LYzLM200+1000
[1076 -- Shallow Cut on Left Bicep -- 3.5 damage]

"Please."200+1000

[shrimp]

There's a lot I've said that's been true in this game. That I don't care however, that's a different story. Of course I care, if I didn't care I would've been dead a long time ago, would've given up when the snake bit me, would've given up when everyone was gone and all that was left was my tears in a cornucopia, would've given up when Tau was no longer himself, when Val fell with open eyes and a punctured heart. If I didn't care I wouldn't want to be home, if I didn't care I wouldn't be fighting for Calliope, wouldn't be fighting for Dad.

But I can't care for Cha. If I cared for everyone who died in this place then I wouldn't be able to function - you can't be a glutton for punishment if you want to survive. You have to grieve and you have to move on. Am I sad that she's dead? In a theoretical sense, sure. She deserved to live, just like all 24 of us who were thrust into this arena. But she deserved to live just as much as Kendrick, just as much as Val, as Blaire, as Tau.

Maybe I do care, but I care more about the ones I knew, the ones I trusted, than this girl whose image faded away two days ago. A girl I never knew. The others are more important, the others are who I'm fighting for. I can't let them down. I can't.

It hurts so much, but I can't stop now. Hell, there's been a blind victor, a legless victor, a victor who couldn't recognize faces (I wonder if she's rooting for me to die - Patricia's still alive after all, right?). It's just an arm, an arm that needs to be bandaged as soon as I get out of this fight unless if I want to die of being sucked dry. This vampire of an arena really needs to fuck off.

"I've killed two people, Red, don't fucking lie to me." He slices my hip, the butterfly kiss of steel sending more splashes of paint across the floor. "Please"

I was never one for interior decorating. Time to end this while I still can.

[attacks finn]
dK_e_jkYsword
[1105 -- Deep Gash on Right Calf -- 8.0 damage]

"Go fuck yourself." Now is no time for pleasantries.

sword

[Deleted]

filler filler bc im a piece of shit and want to get this fight (finn)ished ayyy

um sadness probably

choking on air

how do u expect me to breathe galaxred w/ no air like ? ? ? ? ?

anger anger

red pls cha

y don't u cha

pls cha

anger

o wow okay hurt leg

wtf why r u so rood

can't even believe this

no dialogue 4 u bc im about to die

[finn attacks galaxy]
6UMaKpLw200+1000
[1114 -- Shallow Cut on Right Calf -- 3.5 damage]
200+1000

[shrimp]

There was darkness across the universe until her fingers weaved together the first constellation. She was light and she was warmth, with precision and grace entire galaxies were born with just her fingers alone. I was sewn out of stardust as I joined her, her creation with the same red hair and pale complexion. We must have laughed, we must have cried. I don't remember.

When I woke up with a doctor staring over me, somehow I knew I wouldn't be quite as happy for a long, long time.

[attacks finn]
ZHDua896sword
[1143 -- Deep Gash on Chest -- 9.5 damage]

sword