Lixue Cheng :: District 5 :: FIN
Dec 29, 2014 16:10:14 GMT -5
Post by ali on Dec 29, 2014 16:10:14 GMT -5
[presto]
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[/presto]My name means Pretty Snow and I am named after the winter in which I was born 16 years ago, but that winter was all but pretty. According to my Granpa, the snow fell for weeks and did not stop. The roads soon became rivers of ice and people were trapped in their homes- including my parents. Temperatures plummeted and drove people to their deaths- my parents had no choice but to use the crib that Grandpa had made as fire kindling. Some people apparently tried to leave their homes but they did not make it very far. They found my Uncle's body when the snow thawed in the spring.
Heavens knows why my mother named me after such a horrible thing, perhaps she was a thought it was a reminder of the struggles the snow bought- or perhaps she thought it was funny. My mother doesn't have much of a sense of humor; she probably did it out of spite if anything.
When I was born, the midwife was unable to reach us because of the weather- so my mother was left to give birth to her first child without any medical help what so ever. My father tells me that my mother looked sickly when she went into labor, knowing that there might not be help at her bedside. Alongside my Aunties, Grandma and Great Grandma, my mother thought against time to bring me into this world.
The moment I was born, light returned to the house. According to my mother, the moment she heard my cries her world lit up; apparently my cries were as beautiful as bird song to her. It did not take long however, my mother will always spitefully tell me, for her world to crash down on her. It was a week, perhaps two, when my parents noticed that there was that my eyes were not right.
Thats it. Not right. Something was not right with my eyes, when I opened them, they had a milky glaze to them. They recognized it but prayed it wasn't what they thought it to be- how could a child have the same ailment as her great grandpa they thought. It took weeks for the snow to thaw enough for my mother and father to get to a Doctor who would assure them what was wrong with their daughter- who could barely look at her parents straight when they made noise- was nothing serious. The Doctor was baffled however and for a while he was unsure what I had, even though he had seen it before.
Eventually, the Doctor grimly diagnosed me with cataracts. My parents were, my whole family, they were shocked and horrified that I had been cursed with a disease such as this. My Great grandpa had the disease, he had been 75 when it appeared, I was nothing but a child. A newborn- and yet I had a disease that my parents couldn't afford to cure and were not sure what to do with me otherwise. I would have poor vision for the rest of my life, I would be barely able to see, and there was nothing they could do.
And so, they locked me up. I say, locked me up, in the loosest sense possible because I was still able to go outside. I was able to go out in the garden but I couldn't go by myself. I had to have someone go with me, be it mother or father, and when they weren't there I wasn't allowed outside. When I was young, until about the age of 5, I accepted this fate. I thought nothing of it until that summer day when I heard other children playing.
It was an odd sound and at first I wasn't sure what it was. I heard it from my bedroom, as my finger fumbled with a rag doll I had, but it was far off. It was almost dream like, the way the giggling carried through the empty hallway of the house. I got to my feet and navigated my way to the front room- running my hand along the wall so I knew where I was going- where the sound was loudest.
They were playing outside. On the street, right outside the front of my house. I looked out the window. My vision had not developed well because of the age I had developed the disease, so all I could see were the shadows of the other children dancing; but even then, they were blurred, and so I pressed my ear against the window and listened to the sounds they made.
I listened to their feet clip and clap against the cobbled street. Clip clap, clip clap, and the occasional skipping of a small object- possibly a pebble- against the street. They sung a little song as they played, moving up and down the street and the back down again. I wondered what they were playing, and if I could join in tomorrow maybe. I'm sure if I asked nicely, my mother would let me go outside.
"No." my mother said, the moment I asked her once she was home from the factory
"but I want to play with the other children..." I begged
"It's too dangerous for you to go outside Lixue" My father told me
"but..." I said but was quickly cut off by my mother
"No but's..." my mother said as she put a loaf of cut bread on the table "Now, eat your bread"
When I was 8, I ran away from home. When I say, ran away, I mean I went and hid away for a few hours because my mother had refused to allow me outside to play with the other children. I found a way out of the house, when my mother wasn't looking. Stupid woman had left the door off the latch, and I had reached up and pulled it open and run as fast as I could.
It was a silly, stupid thing to do. Being almost blind and all. I didn't know the streets and so quickly found myself lost, alone and actually kinda afraid. There was so much noise, so much, it was like static that filled my ears until I was almost deaf to anything but the noise. Shadows danced across my vision and I continued to run, until could run no more.
Gasping for breath, I leaned against a wall. The bricks scraped against my skin as I slid down to sit on the cold, damp street, my lungs burning inside my chest- almost threatening to burst at every gasp I took. I had no idea where I was, or how to get home. I couldn't exactly run my hand along the hallway wall to find my way back to where I came from. I wasn't inside anymore, I was in the big scary world which my mother and father had so desperately tried to protect me from; and they had been right. It was scary. Or so I thought.
Enter two of the coolest guys you'll ever meet, James and Bucket. I could hear them from where I was crouched, crying my eyes out and hiding my head in my arms. I could hear them whispering between one another.
"It's the kid with the ghost eyes!" said the one "Do you think she's okay?"
"She's shaking like a leaf!! She's scared Buck." the other one said as he approached and knelt down in front of me "You alright kid?"
"I am not a kid." I retort
He seemed surprised "Alright... alright...no need to get angsty. Me and Buck here are just trying to help. I'm James"
"Lixue..." I nod, sniffling and wiping tears from my eyes. "I know- I've seen you round school"
"Same here" I say, eliciting a laugh from both boys.
James reached out his hand and took hold of my carefully, helping me to my feet. And so a beautiful friendship began. They helped me home, promising me that they would teach me to protect myself from the bully's at school. I wondered deep down if they'd been part of the bullying- I didn't decide when I reach the door to my house, waving at my new friends as I slipped inside. And I still haven't decided.
"She's been....fighting?" my mother said when she was called to the principles office only a month or two ago "Impossible!!"
She had had this conversation hundreds of hundreds of times since I was 10 and began fighting back against the bully's. How you ask? Well, before James and Bucket moved to a different part of District 5 they taught me basic self defense. And I built on it since. Bullying became a less frequent occurrence but it still happened.
This particular fight had started as they always do. Some bitch whispering behind my back, talking about how my eyes kept going skew and that I was a freak. I'd called them out on it, of course, but at first they didn't seem brave enough to fight me. I'd broken noses before- a good enough reason to back down- and I had knocked out guys twice my size.
I was surprised when she tried to trip me as I walked away. So I retaliated. I swung a kick in her direction, missed. Fuck crossed my mind as she plowed into me, grabbing my shoulders and shoving me into the lockers. I hissed, my jet black hair falling across my face, as I kneed her between the legs. She doubled and loosened her grip- I saw my chance. I kneed her again, watching her shadow move slowly backwards as my knee came into contact with her chin. Not her nose, luckily for her.
Suddenly her hand had reached up and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me down to her level. I stumbled, slight disorientated by the weak punch she threw into my face. My lip swelled as I stumbled away against the wall before I rebounded. I threw myself at her, knocking her to the ground and I pinned her to the ground. She struggled beneath me as I drew my arm back- ready to punch- before I felt someone grab my arm.
And there I was. Sat outside the Principles office as my mother assured the principle that "I wasn't dangerous..." that "I was weak" and that "I was blind and fragile and helpless..there was no way she could have been fighting" despite the fact I had a good portion of hair missing, scratches on my arms and my lip with split slightly.
My mother opened the door and helped me to my feet, cooing and brushing my hair gently. She was too fussed on making sure that I didn't walk into the walls that she didn't see my smirk. My mother and father were so god damn oblivious to my real life outside our house- and I loved it.
Heavens knows why my mother named me after such a horrible thing, perhaps she was a thought it was a reminder of the struggles the snow bought- or perhaps she thought it was funny. My mother doesn't have much of a sense of humor; she probably did it out of spite if anything.
When I was born, the midwife was unable to reach us because of the weather- so my mother was left to give birth to her first child without any medical help what so ever. My father tells me that my mother looked sickly when she went into labor, knowing that there might not be help at her bedside. Alongside my Aunties, Grandma and Great Grandma, my mother thought against time to bring me into this world.
I’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm.
And the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold,
My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones,
It keeps my veins hot, the fire's found a home in me.
And the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold,
My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones,
It keeps my veins hot, the fire's found a home in me.
The moment I was born, light returned to the house. According to my mother, the moment she heard my cries her world lit up; apparently my cries were as beautiful as bird song to her. It did not take long however, my mother will always spitefully tell me, for her world to crash down on her. It was a week, perhaps two, when my parents noticed that there was that my eyes were not right.
Thats it. Not right. Something was not right with my eyes, when I opened them, they had a milky glaze to them. They recognized it but prayed it wasn't what they thought it to be- how could a child have the same ailment as her great grandpa they thought. It took weeks for the snow to thaw enough for my mother and father to get to a Doctor who would assure them what was wrong with their daughter- who could barely look at her parents straight when they made noise- was nothing serious. The Doctor was baffled however and for a while he was unsure what I had, even though he had seen it before.
Eventually, the Doctor grimly diagnosed me with cataracts. My parents were, my whole family, they were shocked and horrified that I had been cursed with a disease such as this. My Great grandpa had the disease, he had been 75 when it appeared, I was nothing but a child. A newborn- and yet I had a disease that my parents couldn't afford to cure and were not sure what to do with me otherwise. I would have poor vision for the rest of my life, I would be barely able to see, and there was nothing they could do.
And so, they locked me up. I say, locked me up, in the loosest sense possible because I was still able to go outside. I was able to go out in the garden but I couldn't go by myself. I had to have someone go with me, be it mother or father, and when they weren't there I wasn't allowed outside. When I was young, until about the age of 5, I accepted this fate. I thought nothing of it until that summer day when I heard other children playing.
I move through town, I’m quiet like a fight,
And my necklace is of rope, I tie it and untie.
And now people talk to me, but nothing ever hits home
People talk to me, and all the voices just burn holes.
I’m done with it
It was an odd sound and at first I wasn't sure what it was. I heard it from my bedroom, as my finger fumbled with a rag doll I had, but it was far off. It was almost dream like, the way the giggling carried through the empty hallway of the house. I got to my feet and navigated my way to the front room- running my hand along the wall so I knew where I was going- where the sound was loudest.
They were playing outside. On the street, right outside the front of my house. I looked out the window. My vision had not developed well because of the age I had developed the disease, so all I could see were the shadows of the other children dancing; but even then, they were blurred, and so I pressed my ear against the window and listened to the sounds they made.
I listened to their feet clip and clap against the cobbled street. Clip clap, clip clap, and the occasional skipping of a small object- possibly a pebble- against the street. They sung a little song as they played, moving up and down the street and the back down again. I wondered what they were playing, and if I could join in tomorrow maybe. I'm sure if I asked nicely, my mother would let me go outside.
"No." my mother said, the moment I asked her once she was home from the factory
"but I want to play with the other children..." I begged
"It's too dangerous for you to go outside Lixue" My father told me
"but..." I said but was quickly cut off by my mother
"No but's..." my mother said as she put a loaf of cut bread on the table "Now, eat your bread"
This is the start of how it all ends
They used to shout my name, now they whisper it
I’m speeding up and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
We're at the start, the colours disappear
They used to shout my name, now they whisper it
I’m speeding up and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
We're at the start, the colours disappear
When I was 8, I ran away from home. When I say, ran away, I mean I went and hid away for a few hours because my mother had refused to allow me outside to play with the other children. I found a way out of the house, when my mother wasn't looking. Stupid woman had left the door off the latch, and I had reached up and pulled it open and run as fast as I could.
It was a silly, stupid thing to do. Being almost blind and all. I didn't know the streets and so quickly found myself lost, alone and actually kinda afraid. There was so much noise, so much, it was like static that filled my ears until I was almost deaf to anything but the noise. Shadows danced across my vision and I continued to run, until could run no more.
Gasping for breath, I leaned against a wall. The bricks scraped against my skin as I slid down to sit on the cold, damp street, my lungs burning inside my chest- almost threatening to burst at every gasp I took. I had no idea where I was, or how to get home. I couldn't exactly run my hand along the hallway wall to find my way back to where I came from. I wasn't inside anymore, I was in the big scary world which my mother and father had so desperately tried to protect me from; and they had been right. It was scary. Or so I thought.
Enter two of the coolest guys you'll ever meet, James and Bucket. I could hear them from where I was crouched, crying my eyes out and hiding my head in my arms. I could hear them whispering between one another.
"It's the kid with the ghost eyes!" said the one "Do you think she's okay?"
"She's shaking like a leaf!! She's scared Buck." the other one said as he approached and knelt down in front of me "You alright kid?"
"I am not a kid." I retort
He seemed surprised "Alright... alright...no need to get angsty. Me and Buck here are just trying to help. I'm James"
"Lixue..." I nod, sniffling and wiping tears from my eyes. "I know- I've seen you round school"
"Same here" I say, eliciting a laugh from both boys.
James reached out his hand and took hold of my carefully, helping me to my feet. And so a beautiful friendship began. They helped me home, promising me that they would teach me to protect myself from the bully's at school. I wondered deep down if they'd been part of the bullying- I didn't decide when I reach the door to my house, waving at my new friends as I slipped inside. And I still haven't decided.
I never watch the stars, there’s so much down here
So I just try to keep up with the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
I dream all year, but they’re not the sweet kinds
And the shivers move down my shoulder blades in double time
"She's been....fighting?" my mother said when she was called to the principles office only a month or two ago "Impossible!!"
She had had this conversation hundreds of hundreds of times since I was 10 and began fighting back against the bully's. How you ask? Well, before James and Bucket moved to a different part of District 5 they taught me basic self defense. And I built on it since. Bullying became a less frequent occurrence but it still happened.
This particular fight had started as they always do. Some bitch whispering behind my back, talking about how my eyes kept going skew and that I was a freak. I'd called them out on it, of course, but at first they didn't seem brave enough to fight me. I'd broken noses before- a good enough reason to back down- and I had knocked out guys twice my size.
I was surprised when she tried to trip me as I walked away. So I retaliated. I swung a kick in her direction, missed. Fuck crossed my mind as she plowed into me, grabbing my shoulders and shoving me into the lockers. I hissed, my jet black hair falling across my face, as I kneed her between the legs. She doubled and loosened her grip- I saw my chance. I kneed her again, watching her shadow move slowly backwards as my knee came into contact with her chin. Not her nose, luckily for her.
Suddenly her hand had reached up and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me down to her level. I stumbled, slight disorientated by the weak punch she threw into my face. My lip swelled as I stumbled away against the wall before I rebounded. I threw myself at her, knocking her to the ground and I pinned her to the ground. She struggled beneath me as I drew my arm back- ready to punch- before I felt someone grab my arm.
And there I was. Sat outside the Principles office as my mother assured the principle that "I wasn't dangerous..." that "I was weak" and that "I was blind and fragile and helpless..there was no way she could have been fighting" despite the fact I had a good portion of hair missing, scratches on my arms and my lip with split slightly.
My mother opened the door and helped me to my feet, cooing and brushing my hair gently. She was too fussed on making sure that I didn't walk into the walls that she didn't see my smirk. My mother and father were so god damn oblivious to my real life outside our house- and I loved it.
And now people talk to me, I’m slipping out of reach now
People talk to me, and all their faces blur
But I got my fingers laced together and I made a little prison
And I’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me
I’m done with it
codeword: Odair :: template and graphics by: ali :: lyrics: yellow flicker beat
