you won't catch me around here {ajax and william}
Feb 18, 2015 0:15:27 GMT -5
Post by maverick hale 🌧️ d5 [nyte] on Feb 18, 2015 0:15:27 GMT -5
william
I don't know what overcomes me before a mutt fight. It ain't what I felt my first battle, that's for sure. No, that kind a fear left me a long while ago. When I stopped carin' whether I lived or died because I was stuck in one lil' cell either way. An' maybe dying is some kind of sick freedom from this prison an' maybe I wouldn't mind it all that much but I can't stand the thought of leaving. Takin' the coward's way out just seems wrong with how far I've come. 'Cause I've fought so hard and worked so long in this prison that I ain't throwing that all away for some chance at freedom. ('Cause what if it's the end of it all? I'm not ready to go.)
I'm not scared. I don't want to die. I'm just empty. Eyes stiff on the gate that holds me back like I'm one of those fuckin' mutts on the other side of the arena. The ones snarlin' and hissin' and preparing to rip my guts out 'cause that's all they've ever known. I don't blame the mutts. I pity them. Pity their position more than I do my own 'cause I dunno how they treat mutts but it can't be any better than the hell I've faced for three long years now. An' they don't get my memories. That of the sweet sun kissing my skin and the soft voices of my friends or the way the wind felt running its fingers through my hair. Time has only strengthened these memories because they haunt every singe dream.
"Are you ready?" A voice crawls over the arena, met with the shouts of capitolites more predatory than I or the mutt I was facin'. They revel in death and suffering more than I ever could. I've seen Avox die, I've seen them become no better than the mutts themselves. But even those who would slit my throat in my sleep are so much better than the capitolites. So. Much. Better.
"Yes." The word leaves tongueless lips. It's not the usual rasp, the animal-like tone I've grown used to hearing every time I breathe in and shake my throat. I can hear the humanity behind it. Yes. I've spoken the words maybe about a million times in the eighteen years I took for granted. But today, but right now, I am human again just for a second. It's as if my tongue has found its way home, crawling into my throat an' sending excitement bubbling throughout the whole of my being. "Yes. Yes. Yes." I repeat those words again an' again because they sound so normal. So human. So me.
The gates swing open an' I'm caught off guard, sword gripped loosely within shaking palms. All happiness was forgotten in an instant because a monster is lungin' toward my throat an' I'm gonna die. I'm gonNA DIE. I'M GONNA-He sidesteps the clumsy beast with ease, swiping at a tendon on the monsters's leg as he passes in a panic. The avox boy's movements are something like the wind's gentle caress although he can only just remember the grace of the surface's breeze. His body moves quickly and quietly, throwing himself under the mutt and swiping the sword frantically at it's legs. William was desperate to give the beast the death it deserved. One of peace and of gentle passing because it wasn't so unlike him. They were brothers in injustice.
It falls, silver sword having made its way along all four of it's paws. Blood rains from the skies, covering the avox boy heavily as he slides out from under the collapsed, crying thing. It was an easy fight today, he muses, carefully running a finger along the beast's smooth hide. It was a beautiful creature. "I'm sorry." The strangled sounds leave him as he grips the things hair within his free palm. "You did not deserve a life like this, I will end it quickly." But perhaps the beast did not want to hear that because it took a heavy paw, swiping it across the artist's flesh and painting a twisted expression upon his maw.
But the boy is not angry. He runs his hands along the length of the creature a few more times before gently sticking the blade into its throat and his monstrous brother was no more.
It fuckin' hurts. The awful burning radiating throughout the whole of my temple consumes me as I leave the cheerin' crowd behind 'cause the disgusting fuckers were so happy I'd killed the beast for no other reason than there was enough blood to fill a tub.
Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.
I'm no murderer. I've been killin' for three years and it hurts just as bad. I can remember every animal's strangled, gurgled cry as it let out its last breath and I was victorious. Over an' over an' over.
By the time I've reached the viewing platform the towel across my neck has rid most of my body of the beast's blood, but my own still streams down my brow and onto my cheek, dirtying cloth upon my body. But I'm smilin', I can't tell you why but it always makes me feel better. I catch everyone's eye, I make a point of it and grin my toothy grin.
I read somewhere that you could trick your body into bein' happy, if you tried hard enough.