rupture {amberly oneshot}

[✨ zozo.]

AMBERLY FABRE

[presto] "AND WHEN WE DO FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN, WE'LL CLING TOGETHER SO TIGHT THAT NOTHING AND NO ONE'LL EVER TEAR US APART. EVERY ATOM OF ME AND EVERY ATOM OF YOU. AND WHEN THEY USE OUR ATOMS TO MAKE NEW LIVES, THEY WON'T JUST BE ABLE TO TAKE ONE, THEY'LL HAVE TO TAKE TWO, ONE OF YOU AND ONE OF ME, WE'LL BE JOINED SO TIGHT..." - THE AMBER SPYGLASS [/presto]

She was supposed to win.

She has to win - had to win - it's all a jumble of has and is and was and will and it doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense. I am nothing without her we are two we were two we were a whole I am a whole I am ripped apart I am hollow. Hollow and hurting.

I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing.

She is dead. 

I wish I was.

---

We crowd around the television, saying nothing and everything. Nerves and excitement bubble up - I am so proud of her and yet there is something within me that says no, this is not right, something is not right. I think it's because I have always been her shield against anyone that tries to hurt her and there she is, proud and tall and on her own ready to fight her battle.

She will win. I know it. I feel it in my bones.

She takes flight and she is magnificent. Glorious, I watch her soar. She was born for this. I never liked to watch kids bleed into the ground but with every body that falls she's one step closer to coming home and claiming her victory. My heart swells. She can do this. She can win.

"Come on Heddy" I whisper into the air.

---

They're not showing her anymore. The last I saw was her eyes seeping into the camera lens, fury alighting in her eyes. Flecks of red stain her face and she lunges -- I flinch and she's gone.

She got out. She must have.

I breathe.

---

They killed the girl that stole her from me. That doesn't make me feel any better.

I am hollow. I will always be hollow.

---

A body lies crumpled in the snow. Dark hair. Dark eyes. A scarlet-stained bed of snow to rest on.

It's not-

No she's-

I-

"No" I breathe -- but her face dims in the background of the commentators as a canon  b l a s t s  my world into a billion pieces the walls crack there's screaming and the windows shatter the television fuzzes to static the doors open and floods pour in and it's red the water's red my chest splinters open my back tears into pieces i feel everything she has felt because we are one in the same we are two parts of a whole we are two atoms tied together and split apart never to be separated this hurts this hurts she passes through me and i almost hear he scream or is she laughing i don't know i don't know she's not here she's dead i'm screaming i'm screaming and our parents are trying my parents our parents mine just mine now no no no on our parents are trying to hold me down and comfort me get off of me get away from me i need i need i need i need i need her i need i need where is she i can't no no no no no i need i need i need am i speaking am i breathing am i screaming i can't tell i can't i can't hurts hurts hurts hurts she's she's i need i need i need i need-





Hedvig.

---

A single ringing note. It's all I hear for days and days.

The ceiling has 2 cracks I had never noticed before.

I think she left them there.

---

Static haunts me in the night. I wish it were her face instead.

My hands are covered in red-stained bandages and my knuckles are black and blue. Everything hurts all over. They said I smashed the television screen and almost hit an artery.

 Almost.

I'm turning into her already.

---

"Stay here."

"Don't leave me!"

"I'll never leave you. Never, I promise."


I am Amberly.

I was Amberly.

We were Amberly and Hedvig.

I am Amberly.

I am-

("They had to go, Amber; they had to go, and it might be a long time before we ever see them again.")

Alone.

✦