Mercedes Fontaine D5 FIN

[goddessashara]

Mercedes Fontaine

Life is short so why waste it

Oil, factories, industrialism, smog, pollution those are the things that surround me in my home district of 5. Once upon a time we were different, or so my parents tell me, but now this is our life. Day in and day out going to work as if nothing else matters to us, and to be fair to the principles that dictated the district, it was all that mattered. We were to work every day, meeting the unknown quota of work for the Capitol so that way we could be smiled upon and kept well fed and alive. No questions, don't be lazy and come into work that's all we had to do, that's all I had to do. That's all the Capitol or my family asked of me.

I sat in front of the small mirror that was on top of the one bureau that graced the corner of my room. My reflection was what annoyed me the most, I always looked happy even though I wasn't. The corners of my mouth were always up turned in a constant grin that people mistook as playful. In reality I was moody and unpredictable, tired of the monotony of the district and wishing there was something more to my life than just this work. I would even take training to be a Career over this, the injuries the fighting, at least it had to be better than this. Coming from me that meant a lot too, since I'm a pacifist and absolutely hate everything about fighting.

My skin was smooth, but always covered in the pollution that blew around this district, meaning that there were always dark patches and blotches all over my face. Except my eyes, I did the makeup around my eyes to be black and blotchy on purpose because I felt it made my eyes pop. Speaking of my eyes they're a light brown or dark brown depending on the light, and they along with my mouth always give the wrong impression of my being happy. Is it so hard to believe that someone can juts be chronically moody? Like seriously, don't judge a book by it's cover.

I think they only time you'll see me happy is when I'm in the privacy of my own room doing the things I like to do. If you're wondering what those are than you'll just have to wait and see because I'm not done describing myself. I didn't get to cover my age, 16 or my height and weight which are 5'6" and 114lbs respectively. Then there is my whole look, which is generally very playful...damn it's no wonder everyone things I'm always happy, my look just screams playful and happy. I really need to figure out how to change that up so I don't give people the wrong impression. On top of the generally playful attire I make my own jewelry out of bits and pieces of whatever I find laying around the district.

I think that's about it for looks, I mean if you don't know what I look like by this point you need help. Now you get to learn a little bit more about my moody self though, the things that I need to do to have any sense of normalcy in my life. Okay, so for starters, I'm chronically depressed, as in always...ALWAYS...sad. Add that to an overwhelming amount of social anxiety and fear of the future, well I'm a totally messed up person. This is a result of childhood experiences though, watching my world burn around me and losing my older sister while I was so young.

I think that's part of why I try to pass so hard for being happy or quirky. If people believe it maybe I will too, it's not like I can get the proper medications to deal with it so I guess what I do is self-medicate. Making jewelry, playing music, singing...they're all things that I do do try and get my mood up. Let's back track a little though and cover some of my history, because that plays an important part of this. No one ever said that I couldn't do both things at the same time. So let's start with family life, normal until I was about four years old, which is when everything changed and went down for what feels like will be the rest of my life.

My sister was five years older than me, someone that I looked up to, someone that always seemed to have the answer to things despite her young age. My parents swore she was a prodigy, that some day she would be one of the wealthiest people in the district because of her problem solving skills. I strove to be just like her, someone that could be looked up to when I was older, someone that was as smart as she was or even her ability to take care of people. Well one day it was just me and her at home, it wasn't uncommon while my parents were at work, and she was playing around with some of the things that dad had given her.

She didn't know...she didn't know what she was doing, she was only nine years old. The stuff she was doing was dangerous, but neither of us knew. When something went wrong it all went up in smoke, it literally all went up in smoke. She was the first one to go in a small explosion that burned her faster than I could even blink. I remember shrieking and running as my world came crashing down in a series of explosions and fire, my livelihood and my happiness destroyed around me. I didn't even make it out on time without suffering injuries, I have burns on my legs and my back, a constant reminder of that day. Even now I don't know how to cope with it.

Now to the present, people wonder why I have anxiety and depression, it's because of that day, it's because of events that destroyed my life. My sister should have been here, she should have been around to live her life, but instead I'm here...a depressed failure. I don't know what to do but work and try and live up to the standard my sister was, to be a source of pride for my family. Though I suppose I need to try and be a source of pride for myself first, otherwise...well what's the point even? I'm working on it though, I'm trying, I really am.

Codeword:Odair

[goddessashara]

All set with this one

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Accepted!