Frightened but not afraid [Open]

[Death Do Ones Part]

Aria Chase
"Fuck off before anything bad happens."

I walked along the bustling streets of district one. A seathed knife in my pocket, my hand twirling it around, trying to distract my mind as I glanced at the peacekeepers. I kept glancing at their guns, unable to take off my eyes off, afraid they will suddenly point at me and shoot.
My fear of guns did not at all help my situation, running from my parents yet again after getting into another fight, which last time when I had left the house, the peacekeepers brought me back in a horrid state or continuous PTSD and them pointing their guns at me. 
As one noticed my gaze, I sucked in a breath and kept walking, walking quickly in between the people and pulled over into a warehouse.
In the warehouse was some targets I had set up, some hidden weapons beneath some hay stacks, in which I took up a bag of throwing knives, and began to take one and throw, take one and throw, take one and throw, each hitting the center.

I winced as a blade cut open my skin and I looked at my bleeding thumb and threw the knife. I missed the target entirely and in frustration and rage I threw down the bag and sat down, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth.

My parents calling me a psychopath was a normal thing. .Like me going out alone was a normal thing and me returning have PTSD attacks and peacekeepers pointing guns at me were normal. My trauma of the past has left me weak, mental weak.

But strong. The will to do what I need to do. But I couldn't right now. My breathing was shakey, uneven and shallow, my whole body was trembling and I couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing through my veins. I began rocking back and forth, trying to distract myself with something. I didn't, dont' want to remember anything. Think anything.


I struggled to slow down my breathong, breathing deeply and slowly, agonizing my lungs as they screamed for more oxygen. Of course I did not resppnd to my lungs and slowly stood up, picked up the back and threw a knife so hard my arm  hurt.


Then i let out a heartbreaking scream, release the pent up rage i had from my parents and the hatred I had for myself. I let out a chocking sob and held back my tears. I wanted out. I wanted to go and participate in the games to prove them wrong about me. That I'm strong and I can get by on my own.


I rummaged through my pocket and took out a pill that I had bought from a friend. It had always helped me calm down and feel happy about myself. I always struggled to redeem myself. Evem now.


(Im new to tjis coding sorry.)

template by chelsey

[pup]

Jade S A F F R O N

I walk along the street, my hands moving around the sharp point of the knife I hold in my hands. A couple of peacekeepers pass by me and hardly notice the sharp weapon I have in my hand. It's not strange to see someone who was once a career still with the weapon of choice. Now that I was 19 I had no chance to go into the games no matter how much I want to be in that quarter quell. President Snow hasn't announced the Quell twist yet but I'm certain it was going to be awesome and if I was still eighteen I could have been reaped and my name would resound across the districts as the girl from one who won a quell. I could have been famous if not for my stupid age and the fact the stupid escort didn't choose my name from the reaping bowl the past 8 years.

I look around at all the jewelry shops and stop and look into one window which seemed to glitter especially brighter than the others with all sorts of precious stones. It glittered with clear diamonds, bright blue sapphires, and deep red ruby's. I think about by one for a moment then decide to just continue on. I pass out of the Jewelry section and come into a warehouse like area where I know a lot of people who don't want to pay for career training train themselves. After a few minutes of walking I hear a shriek of pain coming from one of the warehouses. I roll my eyes as I know one of these not really career careers had hurt him or herself. I walk casually towards the door as no one else was coming. Maybe they would sort out the problem before I got there.

I try the door and realize it was locked. I swiftly kick down the door and stroll inside. I see a girl on the floor. It's hard to place how old she was. Maybe in the mid teens, only a few years until she would not be able to get reaped, but she was still reaping age. Lucky bugger. I walk over to her as she is rocks back and forth on the ground, breathing heavily. I sigh and roll my eyes before I walk up behind her and say, "Nice shot." As I notice a knife that was thrown almost completely off target from the bag that had a bunch of holes in it. I think that is what must have cut her. I notice a cut on her thumb and roll my eyes. "You can get up you know. It's not like you cut off your head."

Wordcount: 451

Out Of Character: Hi Aria! Nice to meet you and I love your post! I just wanted to say it was hard to read your post on your table and I could only read it by pressing the quote button to see what it said! Anyways, have fun threading with me

[Death Do Ones Part]

Aria Chase Female - District 1 - 16 Years

I looked up at her and frowned, jumped up and brushed off my pants.
"I know." I snapped and froze. I had done it again. I hung my head slightly and stood up and gathered the knives, wiping off the drying sweat with my shirt.
"So what brings you here?" I asked politely, although already knowing the anwer, turning my head away to hide my red eyes and my swollen lips. I began to yank off the knives one by one with no effort.
I clenched my teeth as my stomach contorted into a growl, foods absence for days finally showing.
 


Out of character: thanks!! I think i got it!! ans plus i cant seem to code pn my phone . . . .  (i just moved to my phone lol.) if u think theres anything wrong i could mail u the code!! tha ks!

[pup]

Jade S A F F R O N

The girls acts really weird. Snapping, then kind then growling. What the fuck is going on right now. Does she have issues or something? Anyways what happened was she jumped up and brushed off her pants and snapped at me with an I know. Then she hung her head and seemed depressed for a moment. "Are you ok?" I ask even though I know the answer would be yes even though it wasn't ok. She was a crybaby and that was not ok. Someone trying to step into a career's shoes shouldn't cry at all or doesn't deserve the equipment. If I cried near a career trainer when I was little I would have been whipped! Why does this girl think she's better than the rest of all the good careers? Then she asked another weird question. "What brings me here?" I ask incredulously, "What brings me here?" I shake my head for a moment before saying sarcastically, "Well I know it definitely couldn't have been the wailing in pain from a cut on your thumb."

She starts to pull knives out of the bag with anything but ease and grace. That was when she growled. For a moment I actually though she growled. Then I realized it was her stomach. What kind of a person is going hungry in district one? The most plentiful district? I shake my head and say trying to be nice for once, "Kid, why don't I get you something like a corndog or something to eat so you don't starve from career training."

Out Of Character: Nope! it's perfectly fine this time around and if you want I could make it so the table fit your words a bit better instead of having it be ten times longer than needed!

[Death Do Ones Part]

Aria Chase Female - District 1 - 16 Years

I looked down at the bag, completely ignoring the first question.
"It wasn't my thumb . . . and I'm not hungry. I just have digestive issues." I said. Partly true, I didn't scream because of my thumb and I also did have digestive issues with certain foods.
"I'm not crying, it's just really bad allergies too. And I don't really have a personal trainer. I kinda taught myself watching others. I couldn't start with the others and my parents didn't want me going with the younger kids because they didn't want me to shame them. I don't blame them. Everything I did was kind of late." I lied a big lie again and sniffed really loud and brought the bag over, to where I was previously standing and took out a knife, gently running my already cut thumb against the edge of the blade, before holding the blade in between my thumb and the bend of my forefinger and threw the blade sloppily towards the target, which it hit the bullseye but the throw was not strong enough for it to stab into the wood.
I offered one to the woman.
"Care to throw?" I wanted to distract myself with something so I didn't have to think about anything. To think about my lies. I was never a late bloomer. I was always an early bloom. But since being kidnapped changed everything, my parents never wanted me to get a trainer. As if my PTSD was bad enough, which honestly it is. But at the games, I'll be able to prove I can win, that I can be strong enough to do what normal people do.



Out of Character: Thanks. But I think I got it but I'll send my coding over to you so you can just fix up anything.

[pup]

Jade S A F F R O N

I really don't understand this girl now. She seems to pop from annoyed to kind to annoyed to I don't even know. She is weird. "Sure you have allergies." I said sarcastically, "There's that one fact that we're near the center of the district far away from any form of life, unless your allergic to humans." Jade walked around the girl and leaned against the wall near the target. Jade accepted the knife from the girl. "Why would you parents do that? When everyone starts they aren't very good."

The girl steps back and the blade sloppily goes flying at the target. I don't flinch as it strikes the wood with force but not accuracy. I shake my head. This girl obviously hasn't trained very well. "Well, training just by watching isn't good enough apparently. If ou throw blindly you might hit a teammate. Try aiming first." With that being said I swiftly grab the knife from the target and pull it out before walking over and giving her the knife. I move her aside gently and I look at the target for a moment, and throw. The knife sinks in to the handle in the center of the target.

"It's not about power. It's about aiming. If you don't aim you can't hit someone in the eye."

Out Of Character: I can't figure out whats wrong sorry

[Death Do Ones Part]

Aria Chase Female - District 1 - 16 Years

I looked at her, then the knife and walked up and grabbed it, yanking it out of the wood.
"Thanks." I said and walked back towards her. "I guess being desperate doesn't make me the best . . . "
I knew how to do it, just developed my own way, and being sloppy was only because I didn't want to do anything. But I didn't say anything to her. I didn't want to ruin the conversation we were having.
I began to copy her to my best ability, and threw the knife with power and accuracy as it hit the center with a loud thud.
Like a hammer to a head.
I gulped as I felt anxiety begin, the sweat rolling down my neck and tears just lacing my eyes.
I shook my head quickly and shoved my hand into my pocket for another pill and quickly ate it, not caring if she noticed at the moment and looked at her.
"How was that?" I asked, wanting to improve but at the same time hoping there was nothing to improve. "I know I'm pretty bad but I'm better at hand to hand combat and just wielding knives, not really throwing."
I shoved my hand back into my pocket where a sheathed knife rested, and began twirling it in my hand again, trying to distract myself from the memories in my head.

OOC: It's ok! I'm thankful you at least gave it a shot.

[pup]

Jade smiled at the girl as she yanked the knife out and walked back. "No problems," Jade said with a little laugh, "We don't need the hospital filled up with people cut up from career training." Jade nodded as she saw the girl copy her almost exactly. She smiled again as the knife hit the center, not as fast or strong as it could have but it was OK. She saw the girl gulp suddenly and had sweat start to poor down her neck and her eyes start to wet slightly. Jade's eyes furrowed slightly for a moment to try to figure it out, but then quickly unfurrowed her eyes. "It was good for a start." Jade said crossing her arms slightly how her mentor had when he was thinking, "No need to get stressed out about. Next time try leaning forwards a bit more." Jade walked over and grabbed a knife off a small table. She did as she said and threw the knife. You could barely see it, but instead saw it with a noise. That noise was like woo- but that was cut off when it hit the target.

"now you try."

[Death Do Ones Part]

Aria Chase Female - District 1 - 16 Years

"Ok" I said and grabbed another knife, throwing it quickly, leaning forward, giving it the power it need as it dug into the wood to the hilt. 
I took in a deep breath. "Was that good?"I asked and put my hands behind my back and tightened my fists on top of each other, trying to push away the anxiety builiding up. I took a sniff from my now beginning to run nose. I took another knife in hand and held it by the blade, putting it behind my back and squeezing my fist around it and feeling the pain in my palm and the slight blood seeping. i felt better and quickly pocketed the blade, wiping off the blood onto my sweatshirt and looked up. I didn'tcare if she noticed anymore. i just wanted to be alone so i could stop having anxiety attacks and wanted to relieve my mental pain.
I looked up at her, unsure whether she'd leave or stay, or even ask. My life was a mess, even I myself was confused with the very own things I did. I admired her I really did. She was amazing. Her skills are topnotch. I aspired to be like her, but I couldn't with my problems.