A Hidden Place // Stare

[Arrows]

Just Don't Die

The night was quiet as Kirito sat wrapped around in the silence. Outside his bedroom window he  could still see the shinning projections of all the tribute's faces upon banners lining the streets. Yet just barely over these banners he could still spot the sparkling bits of stars against the dark night's veil. Kirito knew he should be getting his rest but something about being so surrounded made him feel, wrong. He just needed to escape and get some time away from any living thing. Some time where it was just him.

Off in the main room Kirito could hear the occasional ding of the elevator as it sailed swiftly from floor to floor. It was truly impressive just how fast if could dark from the top floor of 12 all the way down to the base level in only seconds. The elevator back in Eleven sure as hell took its time, when it wasn't broken of course. It was as he was pondering about the elevator's mechanics that a very rambunctious idea wafted into his mind.
 
As quietly as he could Kirito made his way towards the elevator still dressed casually in his grey robe pajamas he was given. Kirito could feel his heart racing like a train as his nerves causes his body to shake lightly. He never was the type for sneaking around, especially to a possible off limits area, but then again off limits meant no people right?

Taking a deep breath Kirito hit the button for the elevator and listened as it sprang towards his floor. With a loud ping the doors slid open and instantly Kirito looked around expecting to see someone to stop him. Yet all that met his stare was a room with no other awakened soul but his own. So with a mischievous grin he entered the elevator and pressed the button 12.

Just as when he first rode the elevator here Kirito found his knuckles white while gripping onto a railing for support. For some reason he couldn't figure out, riding in this ting terrified him. However what didn't terrify him these days? The trip only lasted several seconds until the doors slid open to the district twelve pent house suite which was now utterly abandoned.

However as Kirito stepped inside the silent and humanless room he felt his heart beat settle and his mind relax. Here he was completely safe from spying eyes, here the little shy boy from Eleven could be as alone as his heart desired. It was the perfect little hidden place for Kirito to go now whenever he just needed to be at peace.

Calmly with a new smile on his face Kirito approached the shimmering glass window and looked out at a new angle of the sky. From here he could see even more glittering stars and he couldn't help an even bigger smile on his face from forming. He could even recognize stars that he could see back in District Eleven. It was truly mystifying how the beauty of the world worked.

With a smile still plastered on his cheeks Kirito slid down against the cool glass and sat down lightly on the sill. With a long sigh Kirito rested his head upon the glass sending wave of chills down his body. It was all so, tranquil.

[Stare]

some are reaching, few are there
want to reign from a hero's chair
some are scared to fly so high
well this is how we have to try

It's the silence that will kill me eventually.

I'm awake for hours, staring at patterns in the carpet. My heart thunders in my chest - it hasn't stopped since the Reaping - and it's all I can hear, threatening like distant war drums, pounding out a steady rhythm that's quick to lead me to restlessness. The blankets twist around my legs, knotting at my feet until I finally kick them off with a frustrated grunt. My chest feels painfully tight, and I learned on the train that it's the worst kind of pain. The kind that doesn't go away, not even after you've cried for hours and taken a long hot shower. Not even when you suck in a deep breath in an attempt to loosen it.

So I do the only other thing I can think of. I clamber out of bed, shoving on some loose shorts and a t-shirt, and pad out of my room until I find an avox. She's young and scared and doesn't question me when I ask for alcohol, even though doing so makes my stomach twist in guilt. I try to drown it out with the rest of the emotions when I take my first swig, and then another, letting the liquid fire burn everything away until there's hardly anything left.

I'm considerably drunk by the time I've finished half the bottle, stumbling over to the elevator with only on thought. Out. I need to get out. I lean against the doors until they glide open and I tumble to the floor, blinking in surprise. It takes me a moment to scramble back to my feet, and I swallow hard as I study the numbers. The last place I want to go is the training center, if it's even open this late. I can't leave the building without an escort. My eyes land on the number 5, then travel up to 12. High. I want to go high. I miss heights.

I miss my clock tower.

My fist pounds into the button so hard it's a wonder it doesn't break. The elevator goes so fast that I nearly tumble over again, gripping the railing for balance at the last moment. I never rode elevators in Three. The clock tower only had stairs, and that was fine by me. I hate the speed, the way the whole mechanism ascends so quickly. It's too fast to see the way the sky changes the higher you go.

Eventually the number twelve is announced and I gratefully leave the elevator, bottle clutched in one hand while the other runs desperately through my hair. I want to see the sky, to breathe in the air up closer to the stars. I want to feel something other than trapped. My eyes swing toward a large glass window and I start when I see a silhouette outlined against the glow of the city. As my eyes adjust I realize I recognize the face (not a ghost), though the name is too slippery on my tongue just now to call it out.

"Great minds think alike," I say instead, smiling stupidly as I approach him. Maybe to keep myself from crying again. Maybe just because that's what Uncle taught me to do around strangers. Smile. They're probably richer 'n you, so smilin' can't hurt. I drop down next to him without asking if I can, passing the bottle to him clumsily. No need to make a formal offer. We could all use a little something to get us through the nights. "You like heights, too?"

every day we try to find
search our hearts and our minds
the place we used to call our home
can't be found when we're alone

[Arrows]

Just Don't Die

Against the cool of the glass Kirito felt as though he were flying high above the ground. As though the chill he felt against his cheek was that of a night time breeze against him. He could feel the soothing chill traveling from his cheek and his hand to all parts of his body. Within just a few short moments he had been relieved of the heats of stress and sadness. He was numbing over and it truly felt even more wonderful than Kirito could ever have imagined.

From down below Kirito's vision he could hear the voices of excited Capitolies rining cheerfully through the air. With a sigh Kirito watched the glass fog slightly before vanishing once again. It was irritating just how okay they were with what they were doing. Then again they were raised that way so he couldn't really blame them, could he? Part of him wanted to say yes while the other pulled him just as hard towards no. It was a vicious cycle in his head that he quickly dismissed as the voices faded away into the darkness.

The only light that Kirito could see flickering through the bitter sweet silence of the night was that cast by the stars. All across the sky the shimmered and gleamed so far away. So far out of Kirito's reach yet that was what fascinated him even more. Often he wondered what was out there. Out beyond the vision of his eyes. Beyond what his own mind could comprehend. Maybe there was nothing but at least it was fun to imagine so. 

In the nearly silent squeal of the elevator door's opening Kirito found himself looking towards the entrance with wide eyes. Through the darkness of the quiet room Kirito knew that anyone could emerge. With every odd sounding crunch of a footstep closer by the stranger Kirito shook more and more. He could feel his breaths beginning to waver as the shadow finally stood within the iridescent beams of the radiant white moon.

For a moment Kirito actually froze, that was until he noticed the girl seemed to be highly intoxicated. Letting out a long breath Kirito watched the girl clumsily slump down beside him. At first his insticts told him to scoot away from her and to leave all together but something about her odd and free nature seemed to hook him where he sat.

Kirito gasped as the girl happily planted the bottle of alcohol into his hands. For a moment he sat staring blinding at the liquid not sure what the hell to do considering not a single touch of alcohol had ever reached his lips before. Yet when he looked at her and saw how happy she seemed he couldn't help but want to try feeling good for himself.

As the liquid sent shills of burning down Kirito's throat it took all he had not to have a full on coughing fit. However he had to admit the liquid had a very nice after taste to it, it almost tasted like the honey nectar mix he made back in eleven that he loved so much. However instead of going for another agonizing yet oddly addicting sip Kirito gently returned the bottle to her hands. "Yea, I think I do. I have nevur been this high up before. Back in eleven there is no where nearly this high up. However I truthfully came here to look at the stars. Ya know I recognize some of the stars. I swear I have seen them before back in Eleven... but I am probably wrong. Still it is nice to think of though." With a shaky hand Kirito reached out towards the girl not for the nectar of her bottle but for a hand "My name is Kirito."