half dead half the time // leviathans vs doppelgangers

[Stare]

68:17:52

distant flickering, it's greener scenery
this weather's bringing it all back again
great adventures, faces and condensation
i'm going outside and take it all in

I wish I had never tried to make friends.

The thing is, it was never really me attempting to form bonds. It was just me getting drunk, me being stupid, me feeling more alone than ever and wanting to know that someone else felt the same way. I'd spent years alone in the clocktower, and after being the only name that rang through the square in District Three I felt the sudden, desperate need to latch onto someone before I died. I wasn't looking for friendship. I was just looking for someone who would understand.

Sue, Nat, Kirito, Stella, Simon, Rowan. Mistakes. They were all just big mistakes.

I can't handle another betrayal like Kirito's. I don't want anyone else I care about to die like Rowan and Simon did. But there's no evading it. I fell into a trap of my own making, destined to destroy myself because I thought it was better to make friends than enemies. I was wrong. It was only once I made any enemy that I was able to kill, and despite the fact that my hands are still raw and scabbed over, they shook more when I held the notes from Sue and Nat than they did when I landed the death blow.

I've never been good at fixing things, but maybe these help fix you guys, if only a little. My mind flashes back to bleeding palms and shards of what was probably a very expensive statue. Our eyes meeting in the dark, muttered swears and fumbling hands trying to piece together the little dolphin in the way we wished we could piece together our lives. If all else fails, tp. It had made me smile at the time despite myself. We must have looked like immature idiots, but it was our own small form of rebellion that couldn't be punished because hell, we were already going to die. What else could they possibly do to us?

The fog rolls in just after the train lets us off. It's so thick that it takes us a few minutes to figure out where we even are, and when we do my heart nearly stops. Simon. This is where we told ghost stories. This is where the mutts attacked us. This is where they were both electrocuted. My fingers gently brush against Stella's arm, half seeking support and half giving it. It's the perfect setting to tell more stories, but neither us want to discuss ghosts anymore. Not when they're more real than ever.

As we keep moving, the fog becomes even thicker. I squint in annoyance. "They're trying to cut off one of our vital operations," I mutter. "I'm getting sick of it." I wait for a response for Stella, but none comes. When I turn my heart leaps into my throat. I can't see her. I can't see anything, for that matter. "Stella!" I shout, my voice wavering a bit. I try to steady it, mostly because I don't want the Gamemakers to know how much I care about my last ally. They might take her away, too.

"Stella!" I pause, then blink. The echo came back late, later than it should. But it was definitely my voice. I've heard of mutations that the Capitol designs to drive tributes mad by mimicking voices, but I'd never guessed how unnerving it would be. I pull out one of my weapons, turning around and trying to locate the sound.

The fog clears, and suddenly I'm gazing into eyes that are all too familiar. My eyes. A giant mirror? But no, the other me moves even when I don't, their gaze just as surprised and panicked as my own. I whip my head around and see two Stellas. My mind whirls, unable to process. "What the hell is this?"

"They want to confuse us," other me states, her voice wavering. I stare at her, then at the two Stellas.

My hand hesitates, and then I attack what I pray to Ripred is a mutt.

been walking, you've been hiding
and you look half dead half the time
monitoring you, like machines do
you've still got it, i'm just keeping an eye


(Key attacks [Stella/doppelganger])
Qn8Gujyw1-2
(Stella)
(with Shuriken [1])
throwing knife
(deep gash on forearm, 7.5)

1-2�throwing knife

[Avalon]

stella summit

district seven

let the skyfall
when it crumbles

---

I draw backwards and a crimson curtain stains my chest, for it has dried and the daylight has risen through the train windows. I can't tell how long it's been, but I never could to begin with. I sit upon the cart floor, Simon's head lies in my lap and the light from his eyes has been stolen, replaced with nothing that could ever be so pleasing to look at. My face becomes stiff from the dry tears that burned deep into my flesh, for the trails will forever be a reminder, because they never go away.


My mind flutters along with my eyes and it hurts, but that's what's expected when you slip. And when you slip you fall, and I fell hard. It was only a matter of time when it would happen because it's unavoidable. My mark has been set long ago and perhaps it was for the best, because someone who is already dead doesn't deserve to live anymore. I don't deserve to live anymore. Not as much as the others, for my life is full of nothing and all I wish to do is crash and burn in peace and serenity.


The train ride is long and silent for neither me or Key felt the need to express how we were feeling, for it was obvious. The atmosphere is gloomy and that's to be expected when you're playing such a dangerous game. Game. A game is all it is in the eyes of the Capitol, and for us what is it? A battle? A war? I don't know, but for a fact I surely didn't see it as a game, for in games you may lose and win, but here the one's that lose are the one's that win and the one's that win don't actually win. They survive and while they're winners in the eyes of the Capitol, they're nothing special but contestants that had the best strategy. Nothing more.


It is seconds- minutes- hours- days- eternity-
Coming to another screeching halt, the train skids along the tracks and the door opens, revealing an area that could barely be seen. As the fog rolls in along side me, I slowly and gently lift Simon off of my lap and let him rest in peace. It's always hard saying goodbye to a friend, but maybe it's for the best to let go the one's that have passed to the paradise that resides within the mind. I know it is what I would want, but then again I want to live. I want to breathe again. I want to feel my heart beat against my chest as though it were strong enough to shatter the world into a million pieces.


Pulling myself together and trying to fix all broken pieces I make no sudden sound. And I've never been good at fixing broken things, for Key is the one who is the best at it. Everything I've tried to fix would always just end up with the result of a new found mark that cracks on a once crystal clear patch. And it isn't until I reach Key's side that I can see vaguely through the thick fog. The sounds ricochets in my ears and the sparks that shimmer along the power lines takes me back to the mutt fights and the ghost stories and I feel Key's fingers gently brushing along my one solid arm for comfort and it helps. It helps.


Key moves onward and through the fog and I have no choice but to follow for if I didn't I'd surely regret it. I cannot survive on my own and the past few days have put that to the test and I need her. As much as I could say that I'm independent on no one, for I've experienced the worst, I cannot let the words slip from my tongue. It is all white lies and poison, and it hurts so much that I would rather not speak for eternity than utter such false truth to someone who deserves it all.

"They're trying to cut off one of our vital operations, I'm getting sick of it.", and I don't respond, for words can't express the thoughts that race through my mind.

"Stella!"

"Stella!"

Key's voice repeats itself twice, as though an echo beats against one another at such a close distance. And I know something is wrong, for one came from my left and the other from my right and it isn't until the fog clears up that I see two perfect images of the same girl. It isn't until she looks around and see's the two perfect images of the same girl, but this time it isn't her, it's me. And our numbers have multiplied and it's obvious there's only one way to go about this, but it's risky and not something I want to take.

"What the hell is this?"

"They want to confuse us."

And it all happens so fast as each Key speaks as though they were starting and finishing each other. My eyes blink and I watch as one of the two lunges forward even the slightest, before a throwing knife is released and lands right into my forearm. It creates a deep gash that slithers up and poison tainted blood pours from the new found cut and my words are pulled immediately out of my body. Tears are dragged from my eyes and I can't understand why-

"Why Key- Why?"

My words sound forced and my heaves come along with them. I didn't wish to burst, but I'd shattered and broke. And I guess when the battle had come none of us had dared to show how terrified we are, but now the curtains have pulled up and everything is beginning to spill out alongside the blood that pours from fresh, open wounds.

[stella attacks kiena/doppleganger with spear]
K6EkPh401-2

[attacks doppleganger]

spear

[result]
3176 -- Deep Gash on Left Thigh -- 8.0 damage

---

we will stand tall
face it all together
at skyfall

table by anzie

1-2�spear

[shrimp]

K 1 E N A

She is Stanley, screaming for the only one that matters, despite the fact that sooner or later they'll destroy each other. How pathetic.

Their alter egos rise from the ashes, the smoke swirling around them, twisting around their ankles and drifting through eardrums. Lungs heave, the slight expansion and contraction helped by the pulsing machine that swirls underneath their all-too real flesh. K1ENA doesn't look at her fellow machine, just at Stella Summit.

"They want to confuse us," K1ENA trembles, aperture eyes shaking and hands gripping onto a shuriken. And then the chaos begins. There's a spear in her thigh, K1ENA's face pales.

"Stella!" K1ENA shouts, eyes watering in agony.

Fine. Run to your Stanley, Stella. Just make sure it's the right one.

[K1ENA attacks Stella; shuriken]
mbdLuGIcthrowing knife
[9085 -- Shallow Cut on Chest -- 4.0 damage]

S T E L L 4

"Key?" She echoes, voice unsure and wobbly as the four of them are at a standstill.

"What the hell is this?"

"They want to confuse us."

"Why Key- Why?"

"Stella!"

She looks back and forth, gripping her spear with her two robotic hands and backing up one, two, three steps. So fake it's real, so real it's fake - the Capitolites who have their eyes pressed up against the screen aren't even sure who is who anymore, or who will even get out alive.

"I don't - I don't know," she whispers, tears dropping down her face before her teeth grit and she strikes.

[STELL4 attacks Kiena; spear]
spear
[3185 -- Deep Gash on Forehead -- 9.0 damage]

throwing knives�spear

[Stare]

68:18:23

can we believe all that we read, all that we tell you?
what you perceive to be the truth and what is real
leaving you scraping at the bottom of the barrel
nothing is broken or forgotten, that's the deal

Drowning in chaos and confusion, I realize that the Arena has never made more sense.

How perfect it is that I’m standing here fighting myself the day after my hands first spilled innocent blood. The Gamemakers have truly outdone themselves. Throughout the years I’ve seen all the things the tributes have fought. I vaguely remember a dinosaur from when I was very young and still living with my father. He’d marveled at its creation. A true work of science, he’d said. The little creatures - like ghosts, pale and small - that occasionally lend help to the tributes. Screeching owls that have haunted the Arena’s for as long as I can remember. Reptiles like the ones we fought. All terrifying, fantastic, incredible creatures. But these? These are the mutts that make the most sense.

We’re fighting the real monsters here.

I cry out when one of the Stellas lunges forward, spear tearing into my forehead. Blood gushes down into my face, and when I close my eyes to keep it from blinding me I flash back. The train is beneath me, its movements smooth and easy. My head is resting back against the window, my eyes fluttering closed. A shout, a splatter of blood against my skin, and then Simon is standing with crimson smeared across half of his face. Simon. It’s like a blow directly to my chest and when I open my eyes again, using my free hand to desperately stem the flow of blood, I feel like I can barely breathe. Simon. Rowan. Stella? I focus on the two of them, grimacing. No. I can’t lose Stella, too. Not today.

“Stella,” my voice is desperate, and my eyes flicker between the two of them. “Stella, just - just give me a sign. Show me you’re you.”

The Gamemakers would never make it that easy, but the desperation claws its way into my throat so that I feel like I’m choking on it, and I have to do something. I stagger back and glance down at my freshly bloodied hands. Is it Stella’s blood? Or something else’s? Will I need to scrub them clean again tonight?

Will I even live to see tonight?

It’s a personalized punishment, and I can just see the Capitolites leaping from their plush sofas in delight at this new twist. The scientists who developed this particular torture must be receiving the highest praise back in the candy-colored city. And why wouldn’t they? They’ve finally captured the essence of the Games. More than we fight the Arena, more than we fight the mutts, more than we fight other tributes, we fight ourselves. We fight every instinct we have to withdraw from the fight. We do what we know is wrong because the Capitol must have a good show. We know what they want and we do it because we’re scared little kids who want to live, and in the end it is our puppet masters that we must fear the most in the Games.

I don’t want to be left alone tonight. More terrifying than facing this mirror mutt is the idea of staring at my reflection in the train window again and not hearing Stella’s breathing in the background. I need her and they know that, of course they know that, which is why they’re trying so hard to take her away from me. Because what would be more entertaining for their precious city-dwellers than seeing me kill the only person I have left? What would be more heartbreaking to the districts than seeing me turn on my own ally?

I spin around one, fingers carding through my hair and then fisting the strands. They want me to kill her. They want me to kill Stella without even realizing it. I face the two of them, eyes wild, and then tilt my head back. I can’t see the sky. My breathing becomes frantic.

“I won’t do it!” I shout. “I won’t kill her! She’s all I have left!” I lower my gaze, flickering between the two of them. “I won’t - I can’t - Ripred, Stella, give me a sign. Give me a damn sign. I can’t do this alone. I can’t - ”

I need to end this.

“I’m s-sorry.”

and all your monsters in the night, they come to life
so you embrace them in the hope that you'll survive
intoxicated by the fear and the flames
there's paranoia in your veins


(Key attacks [Stella/doppelganger])
OUux3MgO1-2
(doppelganger)
(with Shuriken [2])
throwing knife
(miss (knife lost), 0.0)

(accuracy reroll)
throwing knife
(shallow cut on bicep, 3.5)

1-2�throwing knife�throwing knife

[Avalon]

stella summit

district seven

and i guess this is why
every single one of us died so young

---

My blood stained lips form as though a scream were to force its way between them. But I can't, for every single ounce of air I once held deep within has been stolen and I can't exactly why I try anymore. Why do you try to scream? You always knew you were dead.


Sharp teeth filled with the lethal poison made of lies and deceit slide across my chest. It's almost as though it embeds into my skin and all I can do is try not to succumb to my wounds, but it's harder said than done. And I'm not ignorant to the fact. It's made itself apparent, slithering it's way starting from a distance and coming up quickly that death will be making an appearance, and who it's for depends on who ripred chooses. Who ripred wants to take next, and one can only hope it isn't them, but I only hope it isn't me or Kiena. And if it's true. Kiena deserves life more than I-

"Stella!"

"Stella- Stella, just give me a sign. Show me you're you."

I can hear the desperation in one of the Kiena's voice and I don't know which is is, but something gives me the urge to do so. And so I reach slowly into my coat pocket, my hands tremble violently as the blood from my forearm slithers downward along with it. I can feel a burning sensation of the tears flowing from my eyes, for they're burning themselves deep into my flesh with every drop that manages to escape. I look down and I manage to wrap my arm around a lone piece of paper, one which should spark memory into the true Key. Or at least one could hope, for while the other Stella holds my appearance, one could only hope she doesn't hold something as meaningful as this-

“I won’t do it! I won’t kill her! She’s all I have left! I won’t - I can’t - Ripred, Stella, give me a sign. Give me a damn sign. I can’t do this alone. I can’t - ”

"Key! Key- it's me! I have this!"

The desperation in my voice is obvious and my heaving takes control and words won't make up her mind, but a note might. Opening my clutched, dirty hand I reveal a folded up piece of paper. It has been one- two- three- ? days since Rowan's funeral, since Sue managed to slip a piece of paper into my pocket, one I did not find until days later. My hands tremble to unfold the piece of paper and I shove it her way in my hand, before bringing it back and trying to read the scribbled words that lie upon it in dark marker.

" 'w-we will kil-l him.

I-I ho-ope we dont h-have to meet again.'

It-It's from Sue!"

And while it's probably not enough to convince her, it's worth at least a try. For I cannot lose her, I wouldn't survive without her. She is family. They are all family. And family won't be left behind. I can feel my words become inaudible, for they are distorting like voices that sink underneath the water.

[stella attacks kiena/doppleganger with spear]
|jMM8rE|1-2

[attacks doppleganger]

spear

[result]
3002 -- Shallow Cut on Chest -- 4.0 damage

---

and alone we're left crying
for all the lives we lost

table by anzie

1-2�spear

[shrimp]

K 1 E N A // S T E L L 4

Where did she get that.

This isn't going according to plan. There's a flaw in the system. Error, error, error.

Recalculating.

Panic, looking this way and that. "I never had that, what is that? Key I never had that I swear I don't know what that is-" She's cut.

"Help me, Key! Please!"

K1ENA grips her knives. "I'm going to save you Stella, no matter what." And the two of them attack, crocodile tears dripping down their cheeks and hesitation in their jerky movements. It's one thing to play pretend, it's a whole other world to truly be someone else.

[K1ENA attacks Stella; shuriken]
GQ69dPgythrowing knife
[9062 -- Shallow Cut on Stomach -- 4.0 damage]

[STELL4 attacks Kiena; spear]
spear
[3176 -- Deep Gash on Left Thigh -- 8.0 damage]

throwing knife�spear

[Stare]

68:18:19

we're all lying to the mirror
lying to ourselves
hiding in the glitter
lying to the mirror

I remember her so well that it hurts. High sculpted cheeks, wild hair, bright eyes. She didn’t talk much to others, not after she left school and found her own job, but no one really missed her. She had always been so quiet, so strange. And oh, she was a dreamer. I remember the way she would stretch her fingers up to the clouds as if she could draw them back toward her. I remember her movements, so steady and graceful, every step certain. A bit full of herself, certainly, but perhaps she’d earned it. She was smart in the way that most people in Three weren’t - she preferred her hands to her brain, and she could make the most wonderful things. She thought she was destined for something great.

And then she was reaped, and she became me, and everything changed. And Ripred, I feel her loss like a gaping hole in my chest.

I thought the world was whatever I made of it. I thought that somehow I could improve on the shitty end of the stick that I’d been given by improving on myself. And for a while, it almost seemed worth it. The clock tower was freezing during the winter and rolled with a boiling heat during the summer. Uncle was often too drunk to work and ate up most of the money we earned from the district. But I was able to work in the way I liked, and I learned things from the clock’s mechanism that I could apply to my real dream. Uncle didn’t care that I drew by candlelight, so my visions developed shape and form. It gave me hope. It made me think that destiny was mine to control, that I could take my fate into my own hands.

I was dead wrong. My life never belonged to me. My future was never truly mine. In this world, the district citizen’s own nothing. The Capitol does as it pleases here. They could kill us all in a heartbeat if they wanted. They could blow up Three like they did Thirteen. They could force twenty four children to slaughter each other each year. They could turn a clockwork girl into a killer.

They could make me destroy all I have left without even realizing it.

I feel lightheaded, the world looping around me once with every step. I can’t focus, two Stellas becoming four and then six before joining back into two again. There’s a pressure behind my eyes, and my footsteps feel so leaden it’s a miracle they don’t crash right through the ground. I hear Stella talking but I can’t quite figure out which one it is. The note. That’s her. That’s the right one. But when I look up they’re swimming in my vision and one is sobbing and I can’t quite figure out which one spoke. My chest tightens.

Nothing makes sense anymore, not even the carousel of thoughts spinning around in my head. Losing blood. Brain can’t - no stable connection to - keep breathing - keep - clockwork, clockwork, clockwork. Every inhale brings pain sharp enough to fill my eyes with tears. Every exhale makes me feel ready to collapse.

Rowan. Simon. Is this how they felt? Am I dying, too? My eyes focus on the two injured Stellas and I frown. Is Stella? Which one? Which one do I want to die?

Ripred, nothing makes sense anymore.

“S-Stella.” It comes out as one great exhale, as if her name is something I must rid my lungs of or I’ll crumble over and die. It’s a desperate call, voiced without meaning, because no matter which one answers I can never be sure it’s her. “Stella I don’t - I don’t understand.” I’m losing my mind.

And it’s such a foreign feeling, to lose the thing that I’ve always had, that I could always depend on. I’m dizzy and uncertain and when I stagger forward, struggling to keep my aim, only one thing manages to penetrate the wild thoughts scrambling through my mind.

Death comes in threes. And it screams, over and over again, a wild voice I don’t recognize. It comes in threes.

it is the beauty of our flaws that will define us
so don't hold on to all the things you never had
just remember we're the good the bad the lovely
it is the sanity of life that makes us mad


(Key attacks [Stella/doppelganger])
j5KhMDk_1-2
(Stella)
(with Shuriken [3])
throwing knife
(shallow cut on stomach, 4.0)

1-2�throwing knife

[Avalon]

stella summit

district seven

and i guess this is why
every single one of us died so young

---

Take me to the other side.
My hands are turning as cold as ice, and the fire that burns deep cannot help me now.


The storm rages on and I can't compete.
I feel my light dwindling down with every swift whip of a knife that aims for me. The teeth bite harder than ever before, and not only because it grazes my delicate flesh, tearing it open with every single mark it hits. But because each attack comes from both Key's and not a single one, for one of them is the real one and it hurts. It hurts. The blood stained curtain that hangs down my chest reopens and one second it was dull of color and dry and now it drenches from the cuts that mark themselves across my skin.


Oh, it's the only way.
My mind races along with my heart and it's as though it can shatter the world into a million pieces. And while it may seem like that, I fail to realize that I've already been shattered. Perhaps it's the only way to stay in such a fixed state, for one could slip and fall and result in shattering into sharp shards that can never be replaced. Ones that can never be put back correctly, for there will always be a crack in the system. And I have cracked, and I know Kiena has cracked too, and while I know she knows deep down that the note brings back memories, she too far gone to focus. And it's killing me.


I've got nothing left to lose, I wonder what I'll find.
And it's within one- two- three- I find myself taken back to the old days. I am tip toeing across the floor boards, each creaking in such a musical way that they have never before. My paper mache crown rests upon my tangled locks and messy hair. My soft, pure white dress flows along with each step I take towards each end of the room, and with a wave of my wand all the pain is gone and there's nothing left to worry about. Words mumble from parted lips in the form of a spell that casts away the evil things that lurk beyond the known and I am surely free of it all, or at least I think I am. 


And I'm forlorn.
I'm lost deep within a dark world, one that I cannot navigate myself out of. The fire that burns deep in my heart is diminishing and the sparks sizzle with each hit I take in. And I'm left alone, abandoned one again. For the mark has been made and I'm not ignorant, never have been, and I know when my time is to come and it's coming fast, sneaking up behind me. And while I wish to stay, I wish to live again, I wish to feel the fire burn deep within flourish into something more, I simply can't. It's complex and simplistic all within itself and it's hard to come by, but I understand. I understand.


I've lived long enough to feel the fire flicker in and out of existence all within such a limited time span. And all I can hope is that it's not completely gone. And all I can hope is that it is here to say, like it promised. Like I promised.

[stella attacks kiena/doppleganger with spear]
Gf16JPq_1-2

[attacks doppleganger]

spear

[result]
3017 -- Shallow Cut on Right Bicep -- 3.5 damage

---

and alone we're left crying
for all the lives we lost

table by anzie

1-2�spear

[shrimp]

K 1 E N A // S T E L L 4

No more need to talk. It's done its duty. All that's needed now are tears that streak down faces as they attack yet again, footsteps seemingly unsure and hands gripped tightly onto weapons. It's hard to say if these robots truly feel remorse for what they're doing; all they are is code, after all. But it's all too real, the way the tears flow and the breath hitches and the arms swing down to deal damage to their counterparts.

The silence is deafening.

[K1ENA attacks Stella; shuriken]
mO5vke7Ythrowing knife
[9081 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage]

[STELL4 attacks Kiena; spear]
spear
[3009 -- Block -- 0.0 damage]

[/quote]
throwing knife�spear

[Stare]

68:18:27

i am running into the fire
tonight, this war is easily lost
‘cause I can't cut these wires
and sparks will turn into
a fire, a fire

Everything comes slowly, fuzzy thoughts and ideas that don’t want to form entirely. They drift around in my mind like water on oil. Slippery, uncertain, delayed. I try to blink the blurriness out of my eyes but it remains, a haze just at the edge of my vision, and all I can taste is blood. Blood. I should be adjusted to it by now, so commonplace among the chaos, but I’m not. The sight of it makes me sick, so bright against smooth skin. So wrong. It’s cloying and overwhelming, sticky against my face and stiff in my hair. I feel like I’m going to explode. I feel like I’m going to go insane.

I feel like I’m going to die.

I’m swimming in darkness. I’m drowning in confusion. I can’t think, can’t feel, can’t process. I see one Stella coming at me and I can’t even move. I stand there, staring at her with half-dead eyes, thinking, Ripred, just get it over with. Her face is streaked with tears, her spear lifting, and I -

( - people don’t know as much as they think they do. It’s rooted in common misconceptions, things that people don’t even consider before the confirm it in their minds. In Three, we build our factories and flying machines out of steel because we know that the rest of the world thinks that’s what’s the most powerful. Not even the Capitol knows better. What would they do if they ever found out that the most powerful material on Earth isn’t steel, but teeth? The teeth of some aquatic animal, probably something only the citizens of Four have ever seen in the depths of those oceans of theirs. Teeth. And just after that comes not some incredible metal, but spider silk. Nearly impossible to replicate, though we’ve been trying for years.

The truth is that maybe people don’t know what strength is. Maybe I don’t know what strength is. Because if teeth and silk can be stronger than steel, then maybe - )

- I lift my arm and block her. For a moment we’re locked there, my eyes coming back to life and blazing at her tear-filled ones. After a moment I shove myself back, grip tightening on my blade. My vision sharpens, something hot and angry blooming in my ribcage. Strength isn’t measured by the blood on our hands or the number of tears that we don’t shed. The amount of time a tribute spent trembling and weeping doesn’t matter if they become a Victor. It’s forgotten. In here, strength is measured by our ability to keep fighting. Strength is measured by the number of seconds, minutes, hours, days, years that we survive.

In Three we acknowledge that machines only have certain capabilities. It’s logical. Specific materials have a limited burden that they can bear. Some are more prone to rusting, some are more flexible, some are too stiff and brittle. Each piece is unique in what it can and can’t do. The object as a whole is only ever the sum of its parts. Calculations would be taken and considered, experiments would be run, and in the end we would know the limitations. Clockwork. Perhaps that’s where the misconception that people are limited in the same way.

But I am not a machine.

There are a thousand apologies that want to spill from my lips, and for the first time since I entered this land of copper and gears I don’t feel weighed down by them. Because now, now I understand. The mirror mutt does reflect a monster because that is what I have become, but there was no other way. It was unavoidable. And the horror, the disgust, it ebbs a bit with these thoughts. So I don’t apologize. Instead, I lift my head, my hands surprisingly steady. “This is what I have to do.”

I will keep fighting even if that means the death of others, because that’s what strength is. That’s what it means. And if that makes me a sinner, then I’ll pay my debt and burn for it someday.

Today, I want to live.

thoughts are creeping in with arms of silence
time has made me drown here on my island
pressure's rising like a wave of open scars


(Key attacks [Stella/doppelganger])
wdW6jMh|1-2
(Stella)
(with Shuriken [4])
throwing knife
(miss [knife lost], 0.0)

1-2�throwing knife

[Avalon]

stella summit

district seven

and i guess this is why
every single one of us died so young

---

filler #1 mhmm

[stella attacks kiena/doppleganger with spear]
38dZvcqX1-2

[doppleganger]

spear

[shallow cut on forehead -- 4.5]

---

and alone we're left crying
for all the lives we lost

table by anzie

1-2�spear

[shrimp]

K 1 E N A // S T E L L 4

Cold sweat mechanical hearts pumping steam into every of their fiberglass veins eyes refocusing legs shifting the springs screeching against the pressure put on them. Coolant and metal and faux skin and wires and a brain that Charlie Garnet wonders whether it's actually a brain or merely a surplus of if-thens and while x <= 10. Code flowing into brains flowing into nerves made of wires that send electric shocks through circuits and into hands that awkwardly grip weapons too big for them to carry. Too heavy, too much.

But they wouldn't show that, ever.

[K1ENA attacks Stella; shuriken]
kFtSfttfthrowing knife
[9066 -- Shallow Cut on Back -- 4.0 damage]

[STELL4 attacks Kiena; spear]
spear
[3166 -- Shallow Cut on Forehead -- 4.5 damage]

throwing knife�spear

[Stare]

68:18:49

i am running into the fire
tonight, this war is easily lost
‘cause I can't cut these wires
and sparks will turn into
a fire, a fire

Filler I am so sorry I'm not feeling well </3

thoughts are creeping in with arms of silence
time has made me drown here on my island
pressure's rising like a wave of open scars


(Key attacks [Stella/doppelganger])
tDuKLE271-2
(Stella)
(with Shuriken [5])
throwing knife
(knife in eye, X)

1-2�throwing knife

[shrimp]

K 1 E N A // S T E L L 4

- STELL4 breathes a sigh of relief, but then removes her left arm from her body (revealing steam and mechanical parts) and walks away.

- K1ENA turns to Kiena, shrugs. "You got her. Just not the right her."

[K1ENA attacks Kiena; shuriken]
oBNnhoVrthrowing knife
[9105 -- Deep Gash on Neck -- 10.0 damage why]

[/font][/div][/div][/div]



throwing knife

[Stare]

68:18:49

i am running into the fire
tonight, this war is easily lost
‘cause I can't cut these wires
and sparks will turn into
a fire, a fire

another filler to finish this by tomorrow, let's see how this goes

thoughts are creeping in with arms of silence
time has made me drown here on my island
pressure's rising like a wave of open scars


(Key attacks attempts to flee)
xwgFy58P1-2
(success, Key flees with Stella's body)

1-2