Through fire and flames {Elidor one-shot}

[Knuckles]

Elidor Rhodes Eighteen | Male | District Eleven

Sleep hasn’t come. Taking my eyes away from the screen isn’t possible anymore, and it’s really starting to take a toll on me. I’m walking around like a drunkard stumbling into many things, knocking items off the table, even into a wall. Dark bags sit heavily under my eyes, and the whites are dry from all the tears. So many tears have fallen. So many pleas. So much has gone on. So much has changed recently. I’ve watched Harbinger kill his own ally. I watched the blade pierce through the eye of the girl from district four. I watched him weep, and I’ve watched him carry on like nothing has ever gone wrong. Yet it all has gone wrong, and to this day I regret not volunteering for him. The sun slowly starts creeping over the horizon lighting the wintery sky different shades of gray. It’s hard never seeing the colors of the world, and one thing I miss is Crusader trying to help me. I’ll never forget him holding up a plant in front of my face telling me it’s a bright red. What does red even look like? What does green look like? And the sun? I don’t know if I’ll ever see its true color. Shadows dance around me as branches of the trees block the sun from shining into the cold house. A wintery breeze howls through the cracked windows. Wrapping my arms around myself, I hug myself tightly trying to keep in what little heat I have remaining. Tap. Tap. Tap. My first instinct is to shout at the person knocking on the door because I don’t want anything to do with them right now - not while Harbinger is in the game fighting for his life. It’s the final four. All that’s standing in his way is three more lives. District one, four, and seven. Is it possible for district eleven to win three years in a row? Is it possible for Katelyn and Kirito to bring home another victor where so many have failed? I don’t know. I really don’t know anymore. Resting my head against the back of the old ragged couch, I try my best to keep my eyes open as sleep threatens to devour me. Soon I see him again. Harbinger journeying through the arena with his head held high. Blood stained against the side of his face, and the uniform the gamemakers forced him to wear. I can almost see the fear lingering inside his eyes as the other three start fighting around him. Two of them ganging up on the district one male. I bring my knees to my chest as tears slowly form on the brim of my eyes once more. It’s been a long journey. One that I never want to relive again. One that I pray every single day doesn’t happen to me or anyone else. It’s wrong watching them go through this, but I have no choice. I promised Harbinger I wouldn’t worry about him. I promised I would remain strong. But how can I when he’s so far away in a living hell fighting for survival in front of all Panem? How can I not cry when he’s so close to dying? Oh Harbinger if only you could see me right now. Tap. Tap. Tap. Slowly, I turn towards the door hoping with all that I have that Tamron will answer it or something because I don’t want to deal with them. I don’t want anyone to tell me it’s over and that I should just give up hope. As simple as that sounds, I cannot give up. I cannot leave my place in front of this screen. "The doors open." I mumble as I turn towards the screen again. The hinges creak as the door swings open. Standing on the other side is Ikaia. He’s probably the only person who knows how I feel right now. This time he’s not holding anything. He’s just standing there staring at me. "Mind if I join ya?" His voice is quiet as he asks the question, and it’s one I can’t find the words to answer back. All I do is nod my head and watch as he closes the door behind him. Each step he takes causes the wooden floors to creak loudly. "I just want ya ta know that I'm here for ya no matta what happens right now." Part of me wishes he’ll just shut up because I don’t want to speak to him. All I want is to watch what happens. I want to watch Harbinger return home. I want to watch him live, but I don’t want to see him kill anymore people. Two is more than enough. "Take a seat." I sigh as I pat the couch next to me. And there we sit in silence watching. District four falls first by the hand of Harbinger, and my heart automatically drops deep into the pits of my stomach. A lump forms in the back of my throat, and every breath catches behind it. Every single word falls short of reaching the tip of my tongue as I bury my head in my lap. I wish you didn’t have to do this, brother. I wish you didn’t have to do this. A gentle hand presses lightly against my shoulders. Normally, I would try to jerk away, but this time I can’t because I need to know that someone is there. I need to know that someone cares for me. I need to know that I’m not alone in this hell I’ve been placed in. Yes, it’s a different hell compared to the one the tributes have walked through. But not knowing the outcome of what’ll happen, and watching Harbinger kill is slowly eating me alive. Then another cannon sounds as district seven strikes the boy from one down. My heart lunges into the back of my throat as I stare at the two remaining tributes. Silence devours me as I watch them deliver blow after blow. The girl from seven pleads with him to know which of her allies Harbinger took, and Harbinger refuses to answer. It’s sickening to know that he’s getting amused by her suffering, and I know that the games change people - I hate what it’s done to him. I hate the change I’ve seen him made. The moment Annora died, he snapped. Something in his mind changed, and it’s something I hate seeing. Something I can’t stand to see anymore. Tears swim down the side of my face forming a pond beneath me. An invisible hand wraps around my throat, and I can’t move. I can’t breath. I’m stuck in time watching the games. I’m trapped feeling helpless. I wish I was there and not him because he didn’t deserve this. Nobody did. I wish that I could wrap my arms around him and keep him safe right now. I disappeared when Crusader died because I couldn’t live with myself. I couldn’t deal with the pain of knowing that my world was falling apart around me; it wasn’t until the reaping for the quell that I came around. My body breaks as silent sobs begin raging through my body. Violent winds tear through my shattering a broken heart into even more pieces than before. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what to do. Closing my eyes, I bring my hands in front of them wiping away all the tears like I have done so many times before. Then a cannon sounds. My heart sinks into my stomach knowing that only one tribute remains alive right now. Carefully lifting my head from my knees, I stare into the screen half expecting Harbinger to be on the ground dead because that’s how the games go, but no. I see him standing there. Time stands still, and I can’t move anymore. Loud roars buzz through my ears as a warm sensation creeps through my body. "Elidor, he did it!" Ikaia exclaims excitedly. I jump to my feet watching the screen over and over afraid that part of this is just a dream from the sleep deprivation I forced myself to go through. But it’s not because soon the celebrations have begun, and Harbinger is alive. He’s returning home. Joy sweeps through my body as I collapse to my knees bawling my eyes out. Violent sobs bellow from somewhere deep inside, and I don’t know what to do anymore. "Harbinger is coming home!" I can hear how excited Ikaia is. I know he’s thrilled, and I wish that I would’ve been there for him when Kirito went through the games, but I wasn’t because I didn’t know him. I was just happy knowing that my family was safe from the reaping. "He did it, Crusader. He did it." I whisper silently as more tears flow rapidly down my face. Turning my gaze towards Ikaia, I stare at him for a moment as I try to gather myself, but it feels impossible as a small grin twists across my face. "Ikaia, he did it." You did it, Harbinger. You actually did it. You’re coming home. You’re coming home.

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