these lips aren't sealed | ☀ + venus

[Python]

V  E  N  U  S

"I'VE BEEN SITTING AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL FOR AWHILE NOW, DROWNING MY THOUGHTS OUT, THE SOUNDS"

To admit a fault, a feeling, or a weakness was never easy. Pride was a sin that swallowed people whole, but it was more than that. He had to be the stability in the family. Things and people crumbled around him and he needed to be the one to pick them up and carry them on his back because he was reliable. He was always there and that would never change, not if he could help it.

He couldn’t admit that he was stressed out and falling further and further into a reclusive state. Most of all, he couldn’t admit that he was lonely. Everyone else had enough stress to conquer their lives.

He didn’t want to make the effort to schedule dates or form new friendships, not when his career was of the utmost priority. A temporary substitution would have to do; yet he found himself hesitating at the threshold of the living room, watching his Avox but not quite approaching him. He cleared his throat and shoved that part of him away. There was no reason to be cowardly in front of his Avox, and he certainly shouldn’t feel intimidated.

”I need a spotter,” he announced, because lately he had taken up bench pressing again. It was both foolish and dangerous to do it without a partner, although he was guilty of it in the past. ”For the bench press, if you don’t mind.” It wasn’t an order as much as it was a favor. His Avox stared the way he usually did when Venus confronted him, although he looked slightly confused. Maybe he didn’t know what a spotter was.

Regardless, The Avox nodded in agreement and followed Venus to his personal weight room. Venus was the only one who utilized it, and he was certain that the Avox had only seen it once. It was during the tour he had given months ago, upon his initial arrival to the residence.

Things had changed since then. He didn’t want to distract himself with the specifics, but he felt closer to the Avox than he did with most of his coworkers. He didn’t know if that was sad, or if he had grown tired of them drilling him about a possible promotion. They were always colored green with envy when nothing was even set in stone yet.

He pushed the thoughts aside and decided to focus on the de-stressing process. He set the appropriate amount of weights on the bar, then sat down on the bench. ”All you have to do is stand behind the bar and make sure I don’t drop it on myself,” he said.

[gamemaker kelsier]

⛅

"AND I JUST CAN'T REACH OUT TO TELL YOU THAT I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT YOU'RE UP TO"

He had been slowly inching across the floor of the living room, eyes set on the door to the room with the enormous piano inside. It had been years since he was allowed to touch one but he still had the notes in his head and the music on his fingertips. If he could just touch one, maybe they could come flooding out of him again. He held a duster in his hand and had carefully been picking up each decoration in the room and making them shine once again.

Sun had been eyeing the piano for months, ever since Venus had given him a tour of the house a little over half a year ago now. His grandmother had gone through great pains with all of the illegal pieces of music she had been hoarding to teach him. If it was inside Sun's head it no longer needed to be on paper. He could not and would not forget a note.

He was five little steps from the door, four if he took an especially big one, when Venus spoke to him from the entrance of the living room off the main hall. Sun had been concentrating so hard on appearing inconspicuous that he hadn't noticed his approach. He jumped a tiny bit, hand tightening around the duster so that he wouldn't drop it.

"I need a spotter," he said. It sounded like an order. Sometimes Sun had trouble with Venus because a lot of what he said was in the same tone and a lot of things sounded like orders. However these words looked like a soft equation in the air above their heads. "for the bench press, if you don't mind." That would imply that Sun had a choice.

In the recent weeks Sun had slowly become more comfortable and had begun to understand that he could get away with a little bit of disobedience. Instead of being respectful of the line between insubordination and disobedience he had begun to test how far he could go.

For a moment, he looked longingly towards the piano but Sun liked Venus. He was calming. Sun liked that he followed a concrete routine, it made it easier to know where he was in the house. With a slight nod he carefully placed the duster down on the shelf he had been working on and followed Venus to the mansion's 'small' gym.

Sun watched as he placed large black cylinders onto a stick. He noticed that Venus had put an equal amount on each side. Perhaps it was symbolic. Sun was not certain. Nathanial had not liked weights and he had never been inside a training centre in his life.

”All you have to do is stand behind the bar and make sure I don’t drop it on myself,”

Sun nodded. It seemed easy enough. It looked heavy but Sun had never been a stick. Nathanial had insisted that his Avox be physically fit.

Still, the weighted stick appeared heavy, he wasn't so sure it was safe.

[Python]

V  E  N  U  S

"I'VE BEEN SITTING AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL FOR AWHILE NOW, DROWNING MY THOUGHTS OUT, THE SOUNDS"

Each lift was a strain, a release of stress, and it withdrew his much needed focus. He enjoyed exercise because his concentration became narrowed and centered around one theme: his body. All he heard was his lungs and his heart, and all he felt was the heat in his muscles each time they flexed and contracted. He didn’t have to worry about work-related stress when he was in this room. This area – his area – was closed off from the rest of the world like a bubble. It was his solitude. It was different with the Avoxn standing behind him, but he decided he didn’t mind it. The Avox was a whole new type of stress relief. He couldn’t quite comprehend the importance of it, but his presence alone was both calming and electrifying.

He didn’t want that to become a stressor either.

If only he had the time and energy to wander the night like he used to, swinging by bars and clubs to blend in with the rest of the population. However, the truth was that he simply was not like the rest of the population. He couldn’t indulge in every type of common simplicity. There was not enough time in his schedule to allow for a drunken state and a hangover the next morning. There wasn’t enough time nor patience to make himself vulnerable to others again, and perhaps allow them into his home or into his heart. He was the definition of a prude, but it wasn’t his fault. He had higher priorities. Love would be saved for the future, if there was any hope for it at all.

He couldn’t help but think of Vepar. His brother’s feelings for the Avox were unorthodox, but not too uncommon. He had searched within the deep, dark depths of capitol forums, and found that these feelings weren’t quite so rare. However, the ones who claimed to have felt such strong feelings for their Avoxes were the type of people who used them for sex regardless.

Venus couldn’t do something that heinous, and neither could Vepar.

He had declined the idea of master and avox because he couldn’t imagine the Avox harboring mutual feelings. There was also the possibility of a leak, and if their coworkers found out..

Well, there would be plenty of ways to argue himself out of suspicion, but that was beside the point.

Cheeks tinged pink, he returned the bar to its original position and sat up. He could still complete the amount of reps he had hoped for. ”Do you want to try?” he asked, because he didn’t see the fault in it. Maybe the Avox would find a similar interest. Or not, but it doesn’t hurt to find out.

[gamemaker kelsier]

⛅

"AND I JUST CAN'T REACH OUT TO TELL YOU THAT I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT YOU'RE UP TO"

He watched nervously as the bar was raised and lowered over Venus' head. One slip of his hand and the bar would fall and land on him and squish him. Maybe he'd die. Sun didn't want that to happen, he liked Venus. He was quiet and in the mornings he made breakfast and Sun was allowed to eat it too. He'd seen a squished head before too and it wasn't pretty and he didn't want Venus' head to look like that because it was too pretty a head.

Worried, he put his hands on the bar so that if Venus dropped it then maybe he could grab it and pull it away from his head. If it landed on Sun instead of Venus then that would be allowable. He'd been taught since his incarceration that him being hurt was preferable to anyone else. The steady motion of the bar raising up and down without even a waver of exhaustion was comforting. Sun knew that Venus was strong and good at everything he did but the worry was still there.

His mind began to wander as he watched, despite his fear, and he couldn't help noticing the way that Venus' arms looked as he lifted the weights up and down. There was a beautiful fluidity to his movement, one that he would like to try and transfer onto paper later when he was able.

He kept his hands firmly on the bar until Venus finally put it back into place. A sense of calm fell over him as he did so, he was glad that Venus was not hurt.

"Do you want to try?"

No.

Not Really.

But Venus didn't really include Sun in his activities often and if Sun could extend their time together and therefore that sense of calm then he would be happy. So he nodded slowly and traded places with venus on the bench, holding the bar above his head in the same way that Venus had.

He stared up at Venus who now stood in the same place that he had. His hands were close and it was odd to see his face upside down. Sun liked his eyes. He had eyes that could be sharp but were often soft when he looked at him. He would try hard for Venus then.

With a soft grunt he raised the weighted bar and found that it was rather heavier, a lot heavier than Venus made it look. With a sinking feeling he realized that his arms had not had enough activity in his time with his new masters and they would not be able to hold the weight.

It had been nice while it lasted but maybe he was going to be the one with a squished head.

With a sigh of resignation he tried to bring the bar down as slowly as he could in order to not injure himself. His arms could not sustain it and with a shake they gave in.

He squeezed his eyes shut so that he would not have to see his death come for him.

[Python]

V  E  N  U  S

"I'VE BEEN SITTING AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL FOR AWHILE NOW, DROWNING MY THOUGHTS OUT, THE SOUNDS"

He considered himself observant. He could recognize the first sign of discomfort or danger in himself, in his twin brother, and sometimes in the Avox. Since their introduction of this stranger into their home, life has been an anomaly. Promotions ambushed them left and right, and at home Venus spent the majority of his free time exercising, planning, and trying to figure out how to understand this Avox. He couldn’t read, he couldn’t write, and he knew the bare minimum of the Avox sign language. To make matters worse, he had been hesitant to learn. It took the use of reinforcement with strawberries to coax cooperation with Venus’ teachings.

Now the atmosphere was warmer. They had made it plainly obvious that the Avox was welcome here, as a servant but also as a guest. He was not a burden or a pet. Any mistake would not result in punishment. Yet despite all of this, the Avox was often skittish and hesitant. It forced him to wonder just how badly his previous owner had treated him. The scars marring his skin were telling of horrible tales, and he was certain there were more beneath his skin. Ones that would remain unseen and unknown. It piqued his curiosity, yet at the same time it was not his business and it was not in his heart to discover the truth. It was a difficult stone to swallow.

The Capitol could be a savage place.

He noted the strain in his expression and the quiver in his arms. The simplest explanation: the weight was too heavy. He hadn’t assumed that the Avox could lift as well as he did, but he also hadn’t thought of it. He should’ve removed some of the weights. The Avox should’ve measured how much he could handle –

Venus snatched the bar and lifted it back to its position before it could land on his neck. For a moment, his heart crawled into his throat. That had been a swift save, but he couldn’t shake the other outcome from his mind. Had he really almost injured his own Avox? He wasn’t supposed to let anything like that happen. He was the responsible one.

”Are you okay?” Concerned was laced between every syllable as he made his way to Sun’s side and examined his face. A gentle hand touched the underside of his chin. His eyes were closed as if he had anticipated the worst, and his heart sunk back down into his chest. ”You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve said no..”

And he would never steal that freedom from him. Nobody deserved that – to be silenced like this, to be frightened into this state. Compliance was required for an Avox to survive, but it didn’t need to reach this level. Venus didn’t want it to.

[gamemaker kelsier]

⛅

"AND I JUST CAN'T REACH OUT TO TELL YOU THAT I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT YOU'RE UP TO"

Death did not come for him despite the fact that maybe it should have. Sun was often pleasantly surprised by the sheer amount of survival skill he had. By his own count, he probably should have been dead approximately four hundred and eighty-two days ago, and then a few more times since. Still, he'd always managed to live. He did not open his eyes, revelling quietly in the moment. With all that he'd been through it was expected that Sun might welcome death, that maybe he should. He liked to feel the warmth of the afternoon sun on his cheeks and the tart taste of strawberries far too much. Besides, an Avox' life was not their own. It was up to his masters to decide whether he should live or die.

"Are you okay?"

Venus' voice was gentle and his hands were careful as he lifted Sun's chin away from his chest. He opened his eyes and blinked slowly, surprise evident at his continued state of breathing. He pursed his lips carefully and looked up at the bar resting safely above him. Venus must have caught it and put it there. He had stopped the bar from landing on Sun's neck.

Sun stared up at the bar, feeling slightly confused. He could not recall the last time that someone had helped him with the thought of keeping him safe.

”You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve said no..”

A deadness had grown inside of Sun's heart like a rot in the centre of a tree. He was beautiful from the outside, healthy looking too. His insides were breaking away and falling into nothing, pain had leeched the warmth from his heart and lungs, fear had made him compliant. He had been made into the perfect Avox, unassuming and willing to do whatever he was told to do. Everything he did was done because he had to do it. He would not even get out of bed if he knew that he did not have to. The last time Sun had done something purely for enjoyment he had been fourteen years old.

Of course he had to. He could not have said no.

Venus and Vepar were weird.

Sun did not argue with him. There was no point, despite the fact that neither of them had hit him yet Sun knew that it could still happen and that it probably would. After a while everyone he met started to hit him. It was not a matter of if but when. Arguing would only fuel it and make it happen sooner.

There was something however that Sun was itching to know.

you. saved. me. on. purpose. he signed up at him, letting his head fall to the side in order to show that it was a question. He blinked up at Venus, waiting for him to explain his actions. Nathanial would have let the bar fall. Perhaps he would have even made sure that it was heavier.

[Python]

V  E  N  U  S

"I'VE BEEN SITTING AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL FOR AWHILE NOW, DROWNING MY THOUGHTS OUT, THE SOUNDS"

Venus lived under the belief that many deserved to be saved. The innocent didn’t deserve punishment, and he was under the suspicion that many of the Avoxes – deemed “criminals” who were sentenced slavery in the Capitol like collared animals – were charged with minor crimes or false crimes. Peacekeepers weren’t always thorough in their accusations. He had every doubt that his Avox was some heartless criminal derived from murder and treason. He wouldn’t be surprise if they rounded up Avoxes for petty theft. Of course, he didn’t know anything about the districts and their laws first hand, but he knew the inner workings of the Capitol. It wouldn’t surprise him.

By that logic, most Avoxes didn’t deserve their mistreatment. Perhaps there were murderers among them, serving out their sentences in misery because they know they screwed up, but his Avox was not among that population. He was harmless, reduced to a timid, obedient slave with scars to show his past torment. Venus didn’t believe in senseless violence – although he knew better than to call it that. Everything had a purpose. For some, power trips were derived from treating others like dirt, especially Avoxes. Pleasure could be stolen by using them. In his current workplace, violence was punishment, entertainment, and a control mechanism.

Despite all of this, he wouldn’t apply any of it to his personal life.

He knew how it felt to be used, to have control taken from him. It was a never ending stretch of his sanity because one could not feel at ease when fear was dangling above their head. Venus wouldn't wish that upon many, especially not a defenseless Avox. He wanted him to feel free to roam the house as he pleased, without the fear of ever being harmed or taken advantage of. He was here for a job, and that was all. There was no reason to hurt him, but every reason to keep him safe and comfortable.

”Of course I did,” he replied, wanting to emphasize the point that this was a safe haven, and the twins were not tyrants. It should be obvious that they would always protect him. ”I don’t want anything bad happening to you.” And perhaps he would be called a heretic for treating an Avox as a person or a companion, but he had never been normal in the world's eyes. As long as nobody could dissect him, his secrets would remain locked away within the boundaries of his beating heart.