Those we Love (Ryan, Flynn, Swan and Rose)

[troylus]

The children all avoided Ryan for a couple of days, other than bringing him some water and bread, giving him time to recover a little before anything more was expected of him.They all knew Flynn’s wrath and that moving about, or even trying to have a conversation in the first few days was next to impossible. Of course it was Rose whose patience left her first, and she couldn’t help but nudge him awake with her boot, “Hey, you’ve been asleep FOREVER! Time to get up, lazy bones.”
He groaned and then whimpered at the pain her boot had awakened, then asked groggily, “What you want?” He was actually feeling much better than he had a few days earlier, but the idea of having to move about wasn’t appealing.
“You gotta earn your keep, Uncle Flynn says. I gotta teach you how to lift wallets and shit.”
“Lift...you mean stealin’?”
“Nah,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “just lifting them up and down. Good exercise for the arms. If you’re as weak as piss.”
“I ain’t gonna be a thief,” he objected hotly, then almost as fast blurted, “Wait! Don’t tell Flynn I said that!” He used his arms to lever himself upright onto his knees. The idea of sitting down wasn’t even worth thinking about yet. “Will he be real mad if I don’t wanna do that?”
“He always cares real heaps about what we wanna do.” Again, her attempts at sarcasm were rather over the top. “Points to you for being willing to disobey him so soon after he thrashed you half to death.” She really did look quite impressed.
Ryan paled, “I ain’t gonna get thrashed again, am I? I just was gonna...ask him. You know...if there’s another job. Somethin’ not stealin’.”
She eyed him appraisingly, “Reckon you’d make a shitty thug. No one’s gonna pay up to stop you beating on them, unless they like don’t want to laugh themselves to death or something.”
He smiled halfheartedly, agreeing with her that he wouldn’t be much good at beating people up, “Somethin’ else then. Like...not illegal, or mean. A nice job?” He waited for her derisive laughter but she seemed to take the question seriously.
“Forging? It’s illegal, but you got them long girly fingers, you might be good at it.”
Muttering under his breath about ‘girly fingers’ and sounding unimpressed, Ryan held onto the wall and dragged himself to his feet.
“No?” She wrinkled her nose, deep in thought.
“S’Flynn around?” He half hoped the answer would be no.
“Nah, he’s been and gone for the day.” She kicked at a tin can on the floor, feeling pretty miserable. Flynn had been strange ever since she came back from Swan’s place, and she still didn’t understand what she had done wrong.

(ooc note: this thread was written blurbing with both writers working together and then split up for posting purposes.
ooc word count: 459)

[meerclar]

“So, we can think of another job for me, an’ ask him tomorrow?”
“The little kids who ain’t ready for real work do the cleaning and sorting all the goods we bring in. If you want a baby job, you could tell him you ain’t ready for a real job yet?” She grimaced, “But you’re kinda old. You’re my age right?”
“Don’t want a baby job. I ain’t a baby. Flynn ain’t gonna go for that.”
“What about being a whore? I hear some men pay for that and you’ve got a pretty face,” she suggested, matter-of-factly.
He squinted at her, unsure if he was being insulted, “I don’t look like a girl.”
“Nah, you’re cute, I reckon,” her compliments were as off hand as her threats. “But I heard some men go for that look anyways.” She looked at him appraisingly, “Would you wanna do that but?”
He considered thoughtfully. He didn’t actually have any aversion to whoring as a profession. It had just never occurred to him that it was something men might do as well. His mother had been a whore, and it had kept their family fed and alive. As far as he was concerned it was nothing to be ashamed of, and Flynn obviously didn’t have an aversion to whores either, or he wouldn’t have been so familiar with the ladies at the brothel he’d taken Ryan to. He wasn’t sure how he felt about sleeping with a whole lot of strange women though. He’d always assumed when he was with someone it would be someone he cared about. His time with Rose was giving him second thoughts on that. “Hey, you said men, not women? Dunno about bein’ with men.”
“I don’t reckon women would pay for it much.” She shrugged. “You could be a freak in the circus?” She started shuffling around the room pretending to be some sort of horrific monster, with one shoulder raised as a hump, and a terrible limp.
Ryan giggled helplessly, “We better do what Flynn said so he don’t get mad at us. An’ then later I can tell him I don’t wanna do it an’ ask about other jobs.”
“When you’re healed enough that you can take another belting,” Rose agreed, not realising that wasn’t what Ryan meant. “Good idea.” She slipped an oversize jacket on; it was a dirty dark green and covered in pockets, almost brushing the floor on her tiny frame.
“You really think he’d belt me just for askin’?” he asked nervously. “I mean, he was pretty mad when he thought I’d lied an’ tried to run off.”
“Didn’t he beat you the first time for asking to date one of us girls?”
He wrinkled his nose, “Maybe. Or it might have been for complainin’ that I wanted to go visit my sisters. He don’t like me askin’ about them all the time. I think he feels bad that they can’t be here too.” He glanced around and lowered his voice, “Did you do what you said you’d do?”

[troylus]

She nodded her head and leaned in close to whisper back, “Real nice place they’re in eh? Some people get all the luck. There was food all over the place, like three meals a day, every day!”
“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, “Flynn don’t feed us much, does he? How come you all ain’t hungry all the time? I know I am.”
“Hunger makes you focused,” Rose recited, clearly having heard and said that often.
“It just makes me hungry. So, what did they say?”
She lifted one shoulder provocatively, “I didn’t agree to bring back a message. Only to take yours.” She pun away from him, her jacket making a pleasant swirling movement around her. “See if you can take stuff without me noticing.”
“What? They didn’t say anythin’?” Ryan ignored her instructions, wanting more information about his sisters.
“Nah, they DID, loads of stuff. That Molly is a real chatterbox.” Rose made a face, clearly not thinking that it was an admirable trait.
Ryan nodded, “So tell me what they said!”
“Why? What’s in it for me?” Rose looked perplexed, like she was doing business with someone from another planet.
“What’s in it for you not to?” Ryan looked equally confused, She shrugged again, “Whatever I want that you’re willing to give me for it?”
“I don’t have anythin’. Why wouldn’t you just do it because it’s a nice thing to do?”
She licked her lips flirtatiously, “I wouldn’t say you don’t have anything I want. And nice? I don’t do nice. Nice is weak, and stupid, and gets you killed.”
He disagreed, but privately. An argument would just make Rose hit him to prove her point. “Seriously? You got any idea how sore I am?”
She pursed her lips, “What’s that got to do with anything? Why would I care about that?”
He tried, and failed to formulate an argument and just sighed in defeat, “If you tell me what they said, I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Exactly!” she exclaimed, “Finally he gets it!” She giggled, “Although it seems like a waste. You’re hurting so much I would barely have to do anything to make you do what I want. Maybe I should hold off on your sisters until it’s more effort to just hurt you.”
“Wha...what are you sayin’?” he asked in confusion, struggling to follow her. “You sayin’ you’d rather I said no so you could hurt me? Why would you WANT to hurt me if I’m already doin’ what you want?”
She sighed, clearly amazed that he could be so dense. “But I have to GIVE you something, in this case the message. And that means I can’t use it for other stuff. So I give away something of value, rather than just taking what I want and only ‘paying’ by hurting you a little. See,” she got into the swing of talking, “I take a risk passing messages about your sisters. Hurting you is way less likely to get me in trouble, and is pretty minimal effort.”

(ooc word count: 496)

[meerclar]

He gaped at her speechless and struggling to understand how her mind worked. Ryan naturally didn’t like hurting people, and the concept of it being a preference was difficult to understand. He lifted his hands to scrub at his face and finally asked, “So...you’re not gonna tell me what they said, because you think I’ll tell Flynn?”
She groaned with frustration, “No! I don’t think you’re THAT stupid. Wow, I mean you think he was mad before. If he finds out you lied so you could subvert him and pass messages to your sisters? Yikes.”
“Then I already said I’ll do what you want! Why won’t you just tell me what they said?!”
“Not worth it to me.” She leaned in close enough that her lips were brushing against his ear, her breath warm in the cold room, “But you might be so good next time we’re together, that I feel real generous and tell you.”
He shivered, “So if I’m ‘good’ you’ll tell me?”
“Maybe,” she teased him, “but you’d have to be pretty AMAZING for me to give up so much for nothing.”
“Was it worth it? The beatin’ I took, was he happy with you enough?” he wondered suddenly.
The look on her face showed the truth. She’d been thrilled by Flynn’s response, and she wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions, especially these positive ones that were so alien to her. Aloud she tried to sound dispassionate, “Not bad I guess. He let me go out, so that was okay.”
“See? I kept my word, right? Even though Flynn half killed me. So you tell me what I wanna know an’ I’ll give you my word that I’ll do whatever you ask, an’ I’ll be, like, amazin’.”
“You don’t even know what it is I’m gonna ask you to do next time. And besides, that was our deal, and we both kept our end of it. That’s how business works. I don’t gotta now give you more just because you weren’t expecting the beating to be so bad.”
“I don’t care what it is. Don’t you get it? I wanna know what they said.” Ryan was never going to make a good poker player.
She growled with irritation, “I know you do! That’s why I’m only gonna tell you after you do what I want. And only if you stop pissing me off!”
“After?” he checked.
“If you impress me,” she insisted.
He sighed and capitulated, “Fine.” He gestured to her long coat, “What’s this all about then?”
She opened one side, showing the multitude of pockets, some with zips, others with buttons, and some just open. “You gotta try and take it without me feeling. If I feel it, I’ll hit you. Easy!” She spun away again, wrapping her jacket loosely around herself, and walking slowly away from him, as if browsing in shop windows.
He limped slowly towards her, hissing at the protests from his aching, stiff muscles, “Can you just tell me you felt it?”

[troylus]

She turned, affecting an air of some rich, stuck up person. “Are you speaking to moi?” She wrinkled her nose, “Dirty little nasty thing, go away.” She turned her back on him, but stood still this time, peering at nothing with rapt fascination.
Despite himself, Ryan chuckled in amusement at her act and tried to edge closer, reaching for one of the gaping pockets on the outside of the jacket. He’d never attempted to pick a pocket before and he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.
Just as he was about to reach his fingers in she turned slowly away as if by coincidence. He had to move quickly to keep from her line of sight, and the movement pulled viciously at his wounds, making him groan. “You either need to be so delicate and careful that I don’t feel you at all,” she said quietly, as if talking to herself, clearly not words coming from the imaginary role she was still playing, but an aside, “or you need to have an excuse like bumping into me, taking it quickly so that I assume you have no other reason to touch me.”
“Which is better?” he asked, reaching carefully for her pocket again.
“I prefer them to have never even known I was there. But I’m pretty good. Plus, you look real innocent, unlike me, so no one would suspect you, if you bump them I reckon.”
“Can’t believe my dad has us out there stealin’ stuff from people,” he licked his lips and then quickly stuck his hand into the largest pocket, hoping to find something he could grab. His fingers pressed into something gooey and disgusting that stuck to his fingers.
“Ew!” he pulled hand out quickly, shaking it in the air to get whatever it was off his hand.
She gave him a condescending look, “Seriously?”
“There was somethin’ sticky in there.”
“It’s just sticky gum. But what if it was a snotty hanky? You gonna holler like that and give it away? Losing your hand when they chop it off for stealing would be bad, but losing it for a snotty hanky, that would just be humiliating.”
“Losin’ my HAND?” He shook his head, “No way.” He was definitely going to talk to Flynn and get a different job.
“That’s why you don’t get spotted.” She grinned at him and indicated her fist, “Where you want this?” She felt very benevolent and generous allowing him to choose where she hit him.
He grinned at her hopefully, “On the end of your arm?”
She tilted her head to the side, missing the joke, “I mean where do you wanna be hit? Quick or I’ll pick for you.”
“You don’t gotta hit me! I understand. I don’t make a noise even if I grab somethin’ gross. Lesson learned.”
“Plus the big pockets often don’t have the real valuables in them. People like to tuck them away close where they think they’re safe.”
(ooc note: word count 485)

[meerclar]

“Alright. Let me try again.” Being up and moving around was actually starting to make him feel a bit better as his muscles warmed and loosened up.
“Sure.” She stepped to him rapidly and slapped him hard on the backside.
Ryan jumped and yelped in pain, his muscles screaming in protest at the blow. He sagged to his knees, and glared at Rose, “What the fuck, Rose!”
She grinned happily at him, “I said you could pick, you didn’t say anything, so I chose.”
“That ain’t funny!” he yelled furiously, “You don’t pick there. An’ I didn’t need to be hit at ALL. I said I understood.”
“That’s how this is done,” she said with a laugh. “If I feel you, I hit you. I’m glad you understand, hopefully you’ll get good quickly and Flynn will be pleased that I taught you so good.”
Not really feeling like playing anymore, Ryan climbed slowly back onto his shaky legs. He assumed that if he told Rose that, she’d just hit him until he agreed to do it anyway. “No more hittin’ me where Flynn did. Anywhere else. Please? You want me to heal, right?”
She huffed, blowing her hair off her face, “I gave you the choice. Not my fault you didn’t take it. Impress me with the next attempt and I might let you choose again.”
“You really expect me to tell you when I want you to hit me?” he shook his head in disbelief and eyed her coat, looking for an easy target.
She laughed sadistically, “Yeah, after I hit you on your battered ass just now, I DO expect you’d wanna say somewhere different from now on. But you can let me pick again, if you prefer. Weirdo.”
“You’re so messed up,” he muttered, and shuffled towards her, trying to look subtle. The side of her coat was hanging slightly open and there was another pocket just inside that he hoped he could get his hand into. Trying not to even breathe, he stood just behind her and snaked his hand around the edge of the coat, wishing he could see what he was doing more easily. His fingers found the top of the pocket and he slipped his hand in. The pocket wasn’t huge, but his hand was slender enough to slip in without too much trouble and he squinted as he tried to feel what was in it.
His fingers closed around something dry and slightly crumbly. He thought it might be a biscuit and pulled it out hopefully, his stomach rumbling in an unnerving way. It was a dry crust of bread, the edges green with mould, but otherwise quite edible.
Rose felt him but noted how earnestly he was trying and let it go, stepping away once the object was removed.
Ryan squinted at the bread, wondering how sick he would get if he ate it all. “Was there any breakfast left?”
“Yours is in my pockets.” She stuck her hand in one of the pockets closest to her chest and took out a slice of sausage, gnawing on it a little before sticking the rest back in.
“Hey, that’s mine.” He put the mouldy bread aside and limped towards her.
“Come get it then.”
He paused long enough to size up the pocket with the food. It was higher than the others he had tried, where the coat was tighter. Rose was pretending to look in an imaginary shop window and he sidled up beside her and pretended to peruse the same thing, his eyes darting sideways towards her. Inching his hand towards her, he concentrated on getting the sausage out of her coat. The pocket was as tight as the previous one, and he had to wriggle his hand a little to get it in, then grabbed the food and pulled away. He didn’t pause before stuffing the whole thing in his mouth and almost swallowing it whole. He wasn’t going to risk her taking it back off him.
“Good, but I felt your hand. Either move it slow, or in and out quick and run. Not sort of a bit of both.” She lifted her hand, good to her word, “Where you want it?”
He wrinkled his nose and had to look away, hating himself for saying, “My shoulder.”
She balled her hand into a fist and struck him hard in his left shoulder. She really could pack a punch for such a tiny person, shifting her hips and putting all of her weight into each blow with a sharp twitch that gave her oomph.
Ryan gritted his teeth tightly and grunted with the force of the blow, but otherwise took it without complaining.
“Good, again, go for a less obvious target, I suggest.” On and on it went, but over the course of an hour or so Ryan had fished out several morsels, and gained quite a few new bruises to add to his sorry collection of aches and pains.
After Rose finally dismissed him he rubbed his still hungry stomach and looked around for the mouldy crust of bread he’d put down earlier. He was planning to just pick the mould off and eat it, but it was gone. Feeling far more disappointed than a piece of mouldy crust warranted, he went back to his bed hungry.

[troylus]

Flynn had been struggling with his guilt for days. It was ridiculous; the boy had needed to be punished, and, as Swan had pointed out, if Flynn did it severely it would be more likely to stick, which would mean less need to beat him so often in the future. This new feeling of regret for an action that should have been so mundane was doing his head in. He’d never felt guilt almost ever in his life, especially over something like beating someone who deserved it. But he kept hearing his son pleading with him to stop, the word “Dad” echoing around his ears until he thought perhaps he was going insane.
He stepped into the warehouse, avoiding the space where Ryan slept, not feeling like he could face the boy right now. He needed to get his thoughts in order first. He dumped some items on the bench and felt a sense of revulsion as the children swarmed to grab at them like starving vermin. He kept them hungry so that they would be needy and compliant with the most minimal of rewards, but he disliked it when they came too close with their desperation and skinny little grasping fingers.
He turned away in disgust and saw Ryan waiting quietly near his desk, watching him with those big blue eyes. Flynn had a vision of Ryan’s mother smiling at him so trustingly, perhaps even lovingly and he shuddered again. Weak. Weak as shit, man, get it together. He wandered over to his desk, ignoring Ryan deliberately. He can approach me. I’m going to keep the authority and power in this damn place, if it’s the death of me.
Ryan limped over cautiously, wondering about Flynn’s deep scowl. “Sir?” he asked tentatively, and waited to see if Flynn would answer.
“Mmm?” Flynn still didn’t look at him, just shuffled some papers on his desk and sat down in his throne like armchair.
Ryan swallowed, “I was wantin’ to talk to you about what job I’m gonna be doin’, earn my keep an’ all that. Rose taught me some...um...pickpocketin’, but I were sorta thinkin’...I ain’t very good at it an’ maybe there was somethin’ else you might have? She said there were other jobs? Stuff I might be better at?”
Flynn was unsure how he felt sending his son out to steal. There was always a chance of getting caught, no matter how careful the children were. With the others he didn’t care overly if they were, as long as they didn’t give up his name, of course, or where they lived. He beat those two things into the lot of them enough that he was fairly confident they wouldn’t reveal it to the authorities unless under a great deal of torture. Peacekeepers could be harsh, but they were unlikely to torture a small, frail looking child extensively for information. Those peacekeepers are weaker than me, even if I am going soft as a father. “Did you have something in mind? Houses, perhaps?”
“Like...burglary?”
Flynn nodded, “Aye. Burglary. You’d be small enough to go in little windows that people might not bar or lock, perhaps.”

Ryan chewed his lip and went with honestly, “ I don’t think I’m really comfortable with stealin’ things, you know? Ain’t you got some work that’s more honest? Like, carryin’ messages, or...cleanin’ stuff?”
“The first year or so here the children do cleaning and such. But I don’t trust kids who run to send my messages.” He gave Ryan a withering stare.
“I ain’t gonna run again, father!” Ryan promised.
“Well, that’s yet to be established. Trust must be re-earned.”
Ryan nodded, accepting this as part of his punishment, “Yes, Sir. So, I’ll stop learnin’ how to pick pockets an’ just stay an’ clean stuff then?” Rose’s words came back to him that it was a baby job, for little kids and he blushed. “Unless… there’s anythin’ else?”
Flynn considered him for a long time, “You might make a good diversion. We could break your ankle and leave you in the road, wait for some unsuspecting folks to come and lend you a hand and my men can jump them.”
“Could we do that without actually breakin’ my ankle?” Ryan didn’t like the idea of Flynn’s men attacking people who were just trying to help him anyway. None of these ideas sounded like honest work. He chewed his lip and suggested hesitantly, “An -honest- job might be better?”

(ooc word count 752)

[meerclar]

“No money in that shit,” Flynn stated leaving no room for disagreement. “You could slave your whole life away in some mine or factory for the Capitol and the pay isn’t worth your sweat. Is that what you want? Some honest factory job where the acid eats at your eyes until you go blind, or the mercury gets in your blood and you go mad? And when you can’t work any more they throw you out so you can starve to death or just freeze if you’re lucky.”
“No. I don’t want that.” Ryan agreed, feeling useless and miserable. “I...someone, I mean….I heard someone say I might make a good whore.”
The papers that Flynn had been holding suddenly erupted into the air. Others beneath them on the table were crushed into messy balls as he gripped at them in his fury, rising to his feet slowly, every muscle in his body taut and rigid, “WHAT did you just SAY?”
Ryan was backing away in fright, already shaking his head, “I...nuthin’, Sir.”
Papers still stuck in his fists, he pointed a warning finger at Ryan, “Tell me! Who told you that?”
“I don’t remember. I didn’t see, I mean. I just overheard it while I was sleepin’.” He felt bad for lying, but he didn’t want to dump Rose in trouble. She’d be so pissed at him she’d probably never tell him what his sisters said. And she’d hurt him too, he suspected.
Flynn walked around the table slowly, his eyes riveted on his son with cold fury. “Boy or girl? How many were talking? What did they say EXACTLY?”
Ryan was still backing up, his voice was high with fear of what might happen if Flynn got a hold of him. “I don’t even remember. It might have been a dream. I’ve been so fuckin’ out of it with pain, you know. You half killed me.”
Flynn stopped moving abruptly, “You deserved it and more. What kind of a man dreams about being a whore?”
“Yessir, I deserved it,” Ryan agreed hurriedly, “Forget I even mentioned it. I’m sorry. It was stupid.”
Flynn narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “You been touching the boys?”
“WHAT? No!”
Flynn twitched with emotion, “You better not, because I said the girls were off limits, but I didn’t think it even needed to be mentioned that the boys were too. No son of mine will be one of -them-.” He spat on the floor with disgust.

[troylus]

“I think I was thinkin’ of girl clients,” Ryan said, trying to appease his father.
Flynn stammered, utterly at a loss. “What the devil is that about? Who put these fool ideas in your head?” He looked around the warehouse. All the children were hiding to listen but well out of sight while Flynn was clearly so angry.
Ryan shrugged, “Dunno. Maybe I’m just homesick?”
Flynn looked like he might gag at the thought of what Ryan’s words implied. “You mother made you…” he made a quiet retching sound at the back of his throat.
“What? No, of course she didn’t!” He frowned suddenly, wondering if he should have offered. If he’d been working, maybe she wouldn’t have worked so hard and she might not have died. “I didn’t even know there were boy whores,” he admitted to Flynn, “S’a real thing then?”
Flynn shuddered and felt his stomach tie in knots, “Of course it’s real. There are sick, perverted people who will pay for anything.” He glared at Ryan, wanting him to know how good he had it with him. “If you were Swan’s he’d have sold your virginity off to some old, diseased man, no doubt.”
“Does it make good money?”
The blood drained from Flynn’s face in horror. He was so outraged he could barely speak, “You would rather…”
“I was just wonderin’, is all.” Ryan protested, raising his hands submissively.
“Do THAT,” Flynn continued over the top of Ryan, his voice returning to him and raising to a shout, “than work in a decent job lifting wallets and stuff?”
“I’d rather not have my hand chopped off. I want a job that ain’t gonna get me arrested. Don’t you have ANY honest business?”
“Whoring is illegal! Especially the way Swan would have you do it! Is THAT what you want? You want me to send you off with HIM for a few months?”
“Wait, Swan’s a real person?” Ryan asked abruptly, remembering Rose calling him that the last time they’d been together.
“What the hell is that meant to mean? Of course he’s real, you think I talk about imaginary people?”
“How am I supposed to know? Ain’t like I met him. An’ no, I wanna stay with you, you’re my father, not him. I just don’t like the idea of all this stealin’ an’ beatin’ people up.”
“That’s because you’re weak!” Spit flew from Flynn’s mouth as he spoke.
“So people keep tellin’ me,” Ryan scowled. He didn’t feel weak, he knew he wasn’t. He just wasn’t as good at punching people as Flynn and Rose were. He knew he wasn’t weak. He’d been strong for his mother and his sisters. He wasn’t scared to stand up for himself. He just hoped Flynn wasn’t going to beat him again. “Apparently I’m just strong in ways what don’t matter to anyone here.”
Flynn snorted and Ryan realised where Rose got the gesture, “How are you strong?”
“I’m brave, an’ I’m tougher than I look, an’- I just am. He shrugged awkwardly and looked away, biting off the answer that would involve yelling accusations at Flynn.
“Not the ways that will keep you alive, lad.” Flynn seemed to be calming down a little. He was still tense, but not nearly as much as he had been.
Ryan shrugged again, feeling irritated and trying not to say anything that might set Flynn off, “Anyway...I don’t wanna pickpocket. Or burgle.”
(ooc word count: 557)

[meerclar]

“Well, no son of mine is selling his body,” Flynn insisted. “So what are we to do with you?” Flynn had a few small businesses that served as his official front and income, but he didn’t need anyone in those roles at the moment. It also wouldn’t serve to toughen Ryan up at all if he worked in a shop, or on a goods distribution service.
“Maybe...somethin’ where I get to talk to people? In a legal way where people ain’t gonna jump out an’ beat them up? So I can be nice.”
Flynn sighed. The only place he could think of for that was as a pimp in a brothel he had been considering setting up, but Ryan was nowhere near intimidating and controlling enough to lead that operation. Maybe he could just assist the others in setting it up and doing the accounts. “You good at numbers?”
“Like, countin’? I can count an’ add up and stuff.”
Flynn spouted a few sums at Ryan at speed. Ryan managed the first one, but the subsequent numbers confused him and he quickly got lost.
Flynn raised an eyebrow skeptically, “Maybe we stick to the burglary. You can go with Carsters on his next trip out.”
“I don’t wanna steal things.” Ryan said, trying to be as polite as he could but still sound firm. “I don’t want a beatin’ neither. Are you just gonna thrash me every time I disagree with you, or don’t wanna do what you say?”
Flynn shrugged noncommittally, “That’s the way I usually do things, yeah.”
Ryan set his chin decidedly, “My mama didn’t raise me to be a thief. She’d be ashamed.” Ryan said decidedly. “Find another job an’ I’ll do it. Sir.”
Flynn stared at the boy in amazement. After so recently taking such a beating, to be refusing to do as he’s told, and basically saying Flynn should be ashamed of himself, the boy was either completely crazy, stupid, or brave - maybe all three.
When Flynn didn’t immediately grab him and start beating, Ryan let himself breathe a sigh of relief. “I could help look after the littler kids?”
“Great idea!” Flynn snorted. “The nanny is pretty worn out. Your nipples lactating well these days, what with being a bloody WOMAN and all?”
“I ain’t a woman, an’ babies only need milk for the first year. What about after that? Oliver was tellin’ me about a house where all the little kids live, an’ the lady lookin’ after them’s all worn out an’ don’t have time for them all. I could help her. Don’t need to be a woman for that.”
“Exactly!” Flynn hissed, “That way the weak die and only the strong survive so I don’t have to waste my time on them.”
“They’re babies!” Ryan scowled, “You’re supposed to look after them so they don’t die. They’re only weak because you don’t feed them enough an’ don’t look after them enough.”
“Alyx, Andy and Rose are all strong. It’s only the scum who die, or the stupid. Unless I’m unfortunate to not have had control over them, because a stupid whore was raising them and making them into worthless disobedient pansies!”
“My Mama wasn’t worthless! You take little babies an’ you starve them an’ let them die.”

[troylus]

“I could just drown them all when I’ve reached my quota, but no, I keep them, feed them, clothe them, train them, so that the strong can survive.”
“Why do you even HAVE all these babies?”
Flynn raised his hand in warning, letting Ryan know he was close to losing all patience in the conversation, if you could call it that now that they were both just yelling at one another. “For my profit. Why else?”
“They’re PEOPLE, not just profit!” Ryan growled, too angry to remember to keep his tone civil. “Is that why my Mama left you?”
Flynn’s hand flew out, striking Ryan across the face and knocking him to the ground. “I left her, because she was needy, and going to be fat,” he kicked Ryan hard as he yelled, “carrying you. She thought I would stay, the fool! Help her raise you. Why the fuck would I do that? She should’ve found a midwife with a coathanger and got rid of you before you screwed up everyone’s lives.”
Ryan pressed his hand to his stinging face and glared up at Flynn through his fingers, his voice heavy with emotion, “My Mama LOVED me!”
“LOVE is a LIE stupid people tell one another to keep from realising that they have no purpose in being alive.” He dropped to a crouch beside Ryan, really wanting him to believe and understand this mantra he’d been working on since he was a boy himself. “The only true meaning in life is POWER, son, power. It is about who can shit on whom. You have to be the toughest, smartest, most connected. ‘Love’ doesn’t exist and thinking the lie of it will keep you safe will bite you in the ass, get you killed. You understand?”

Ryan swallowed, and shook his head, suddenly feeling achingly sad for his father, for whatever had made him this way, “I love you, Dad.”
Flynn pressed his hands to his temples and groaned. The sound almost became a high pitched whimper and he tugged at his hair in desperation. It was that word again. The ‘Dad’ one. But this time it was combined with ‘love’, which shouldn’t have any effect on him. He was free of that stupid lie forever. So why did it seem to penetrate into his chest and cause an ache so strong he thought he might not be able to draw breath?
Ryan swallowed shakily, wondering if Flynn would hug him or murder him. But he wasn’t dead yet, so he whispered again, “You’re my father. I love you.”

Flynn released his head and raised it slowly, “Say that one more time and I’ll drown you the way I should’ve when you were a mewling brat.” His words were slow and quiet and full of menace.
Ryan’s words were a hesitant whisper, “Yes, sir.” He held very still, unwilling to be the one to move first and risk angering Flynn.
“I’m too angry to beat you for the way you spoke to me just now. I’d probably kill you,” he admitted honestly. “I’ll deal with you later.” He stood, scooped some things from his desk and walked out, locking the warehouse securely behind him.

(ooc word count: 526)

[meerclar]

Ryan groaned softly, and pressed his face into his hands, “What did I do?”
Rose stepped from the shadows nearby and whistled softly, “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen him THAT mad.”
He looked up at her and wrinkled his nose self-deprecatingly, “Go me?”
She looked at him with as close to pity as her cruel heart could manage, “You’re totally fucked.”
He whimpered and dragged himself to his feet, “You think he’ll really kill me? I mean...maybe he’ll just go out an’ calm down?”
She grimaced, “That’s why he left right? So he might calm down? Don’t think he WANTS to kill you, which is a good start, I guess.”
“Help me hide? Until he calms right down an’ won’t beat me?”
She spluttered and coughed, “No way, no no no. If you don’t think he’s mad enough now, spending hours searching for you and getting more and more worked up is sure to be the end of you. And me if he thinks I helped you.”
“Is there somewhere high up I can go? Like in the rafters where he can see me but can’t reach me?”
“So he can send me and some of the others up to pull you down before he beats you to death? Or like when he throws rocks at us up there to practice balance and that, only this time he’ll be trying to hurt you, not train you.” She huffed, “What is wrong with you, anyway?”
“I dunno. Nuthin’? What’s wrong with all of you?”
She appeared quite offended, “We’re the sensible ones. We don’t go around making Flynn so mad he looks like he’s gonna explode. Let me give you a tip,” she said rolling her one eye, “when someone is cradling their head and trying to block out the crazy words you just said, don’t fucking say them AGAIN!”
He huffed “Oh, shut up. I said the truth. An’ it’s not my fault he’s too crazy to hear it.”
“He ain’t crazy, but it doesn’t even matter. He’s in charge of you. Without him we starve to death in here and have to eat one another. You get it yet? You have to listen to him because he’s stronger than you are.
Ryan growled with frustration, scrubbing his face with his fists, “So I just knuckle down an’ do what I’m told, whatever bad thing it is, no matter how much I don’t want to, or some crazy person is gonna hurt me?”
She smiled at him, happy all of a sudden, “YES! How did you not know that already, you idiot!” She laughed and beckoned to him, “Come on. I’ve waited long enough.”
He glanced around at the warehouse and whispered to her, “There’s other people here.”
“We’ll use that room we used last time.”
“Won’t they hear?” he hedged, using her own fear of Flynn to try to make her back off.
“I’m good at being quiet when I have to be. How about you? I can’t really gag you, that would ruin the whole thing I got planned.”
He sighed and gave up, not wanting another beating from Rose. It felt stupid to be bullied into things by a girl his own age. “Fine. It’s gotta be better than sittin’ here waitin’ for Flynn to come home an’ kill me.”

[troylus]

Rose wandered past some kids and bribed them with scraps to come knock on the wall if Flynn arrived back. She didn’t tell them what she was planning to do with Ryan in the storeroom though, but Ryan hoped they wouldn’t guess.
Once again she had him shift the boxes over the hole to stop anyone being able to see them, and it would muffle some of the noise too.
“Can we do this without you hittin’ me today?”
“I don’t know,” she mocked him sanctimoniously, “CAN you behave so I don’t have to hit you?”
She still hadn’t told him the message from his sisters so he nodded. “I can.”
She made him keep his clothes on the whole time. It wasn’t much fun for him but he tried very hard to please her and she certainly seemed to enjoy herself.
She sighed, feeling content and happy for the first time in several days. She missed Swan though. She hadn’t seen him for such a long time. She pulled herself up - it wasn’t THAT long. He used to only come by once every few weeks or so, and she imagined that Flynn normally met him in other places rather than here to conduct most of their business. But she did miss Swan an awful lot nonetheless. She daydreamed about him pretty much constantly, imagining the next time she would be allowed to go with him, hopefully this time to his bed.

When she didn’t demand that he start again Ryan tentatively moved to lie next to her once more. “Well?”
“Hmmm?” she asked, oblivious to what he wanted in her blissed out state.
“Well, was I good?” he asked hopefully. He desperately wanted her to be pleased with him.
“Adequate,” she conceded, annoyed by his need to talk when she felt so relaxed.
Ryan slumped with disappointment, feeling like he might cry. He didn’t, just turned his face away to stare into the gloomy room.
After a few minutes she reached around for her clothes, still not feeling the strength to get up, but the coldness of the room making her skin gooseflesh now that the heat of passion was gone. She found a shirt triumphantly and laid it over her cold skin while she hunted for the rest. Her fingers brushed Ryan in the dark. “Can you see my clothes there?”
“Yeah,” he moved to reach her clothes and passed them to her. He had been so sure that she’d be pleased, she’d certainly sounded pleased, but nothing went as it was supposed to.
“Thanks.” she attempted to shimmy into her clothes while still lying down and giggled when it didn’t work very well. He blinked at her, he’d never heard her giggle in such a carefree way before. Usually she only sounded that happy when she was hurting him.
When she was dressed she leaned forward and kissed him tenderly on the lips. He blinked in surprise, but quickly closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, returning it with warmth and eagerness, his hands pulling her body close against his. Her arms snaked around the back of his head, imagining he was Swan and she was able to be with him always, to be HIS and his alone.

(ooc word count: 538)

[meerclar]

These moments with Rose were the closest to affection that Ryan had had since moving in with Flynn, and this was the kindest Rose had ever been to him. He gripped her tightly, not wanting this feeling to ever end.
Rose curled into his lap, enjoying the feel of him. She sighed, getting very caught up in the fantasy that she was with Swan. She pulled her face away from his lips enough to sigh, “Oh, Mr Swan, yes.”
“Um...am I supposed to pretend I’m him? I don’t really know him.”
It wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear. She snapped her eye open and glared at Ryan for daring to be the wrong person and slid off his lap, giving him a little kick to get away faster. “Get lost, stupid.”
He blushed and shrugged, “Sorry I ain’t him. Do...do you love him? Mr Swan, I mean.”
She scoffed, “Love is a lie for stupid people, remember?”
He rolled his eyes at her, “Yeah, yeah. I remember Flynn’s line. But you seem happy when you’re pretendin’ I’m him. Is he...nice to you?” He understood the need to pretend. In this dank, stinking warehouse he would have given anything in the world to have his mother there to wrap her arms around him one more time and say she loved him.
She was about to dismiss his words with something cold and stinging, possibly literally so with a slap or something, but she hesitated and actually thought about it for a while. Was it possible that she, Rose Wilson, Flynn’s calculating, uncaring, tough as nails girl, was actually going soft and caring about another human being without regard for her own advantage? And Swan - wasn’t he Flynn’s second in command, a ruthless, determined man in his own right, someone she could respect for his cruelty and single-minded pursuit of power and profit? So why did she want nothing more than to be with him, have him hold and kiss her, and say he loved her-
She cut herself off with an angry stomp of her foot. Only Flynn loved her. What she felt for Swan was lust, nothing more. “No!” she shouted aloud, but as she was responding to her own private thoughts it was rather startling and confusing for Ryan.
Ryan blinked at her outburst and then reached out and hugged her gently,“Yeah, alright.” She recoiled slightly but allowed him to hug her while she stood stock still, and sensing her internal turmoil he changed the topic, “Oh, by the way, I told Flynn about your idea for me to be a boy-whore. I thought he was gonna explode.”
“Weren’t MY idea!” She fumed at him moodily.
“You were the one who said it,” he pointed out, “Wasn't MY idea. I told Flynn I overheard an’ didn't know who. Might have just been dreamin’. Didn't wanna get you in trouble.”
“Yeah, I heard you come up with that lame excuse. He’ll never buy that, you know.” Rose considered Flynn far too clever to be tricked by such a silly idea as dreaming something. Her lack of imagination made it hard for her to think of anything other than what actually happened in situations like this, especially when it came to Flynn who so often in her life had figured out when she was trying to lie or deceive him.
“He already bought it,” Ryan assured her.

[troylus]

She snorted, “I doubt it. Maybe he SEEMED like he did, but I bet he’s just gonna bring it up when you’re not expecting it, or go talking to all the kids until he finds out I told you.”
Ryan sighed despondently, “Fine then. I doubt I’ll even notice the beatin’ in the middle of the one I’m gonna get for tellin’ him I love him.”
“What about ME?!” she demanded indignantly, “I don’t want another beating. You don’t even talk to that many people - mostly me and Oliver, and he’s so green I doubt he even knows what a girl whore is, let alone a boy one.”
“You can tell him I thought of it then, an’ you tried to talk me out of it. I don’t care.” Ryan shrugged awkwardly and buried his face in her hair.
She peered at him curiously, “What’re you doing?”
“Nuthin’, hiding? I dunno.”
She blinked at him stupidly, “Seriously? Your whole body is visible, just closing your eyes don’t make you hidden, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. Ain’t an idiot. There ain’t anywhere to really hide though, is there?”
“Nah.” Her face darkened and she looked distracted for a while, thinking about times she’d wanted to hide but there was no where to go. For some reason she thought of Swan and the first time she had been alone with him, which was silly because she’d enjoyed that so much and was dying to see him again. She thought of Ryan and how keen he had been to see his sisters. She wondered what it would be like to love someone that much that you’d risk a terrible beating just to tell them you loved them and missed them. She realised she would do the same and perhaps even more if she were unable to ever see Swan again and the thought made her shiver.
“Don’t you wanna know about your sisters?” It was very strange that he hadn’t asked her when he’d seemed so keen to know before and worked so hard at pleasing her. She found him a total mystery.
“Yes!” his voice cracked with emotion, “But you said I had to be amazin’, an then you said I was just adequate. Figured you weren’t gonna tell me an’ if I asked you’d just hit me.”
That statement seemed to cheer her up and her mood started to lift again, “You did good. Just I can’t give you too much praise and make you think you’re all that. Have to treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen, as they say.”
“Does that mean...you will tell me?” Ryan perked up so fast that it was almost comical.
She shrugged, feeling generous as her whole body seemed relaxed and content, the tension easing out of her muscles. She didn’t even seem to feel hungry like she was constantly in her life. “Molly said to tell you that she loves you too, blah blah soppy stuff. She then said that she understands that you gotta go be with this man, but be careful, he seemed like a creepy weirdo to her.” Rose paused and scoffed, “Something clearly wrong with your sister, man. I mean she was talking about Flynn!”
“Yeah, she’s always been pretty smart,” Ryan agreed. “She gets people, you know?”
“Aren’t you listening to me? She was talking about FLYNN! He’s like the only person who makes any sense, other than Swan, but usually he doesn’t make sense, and...I dunno, but Flynn makes perfect sense.”
“You only think that because you don’t know anythin’ else. Most people ain’t like them. People ain’t like Flynn says they are.”
“Other people are weird and unpredictable. They say they’re nice and care, but then they just stab you in the back while smiling in your face.”
“And at least Flynn beats you when he says he will?” Ryan supposed wryly.
“Exactly,” Rose agreed, missing Ryan’s nuance. “And almost always you know what you did wrong and why you’re getting beat on. So you can learn and not do that again. Other people? They pretend all the time. They lie and say they care, but of course they just want what’s best for them. Or they’re so weak they can’t defend themselves and can’t get anything for you nor themselves.”
“Flynn just wants what’s best for him.” Ryan pointed out bitterly, “As long as it’s profitable he’ll hurt anyone, leave anyone to just fend for themselves.”
“That’s the whole world,” Rose said earnestly, “everyone else just lies to themselves and everyone else pretending they ain’t like that.”
Ryan groaned and pressed his palms to his face, “I don’t wanna argue with you. You’ll just get mad an’ hit me because I’m not gonna agree that Flynn’s the sane one an’ the whole rest of the world is crazy.”
Rose shivered, “It’s cold in here. I’m going back to the fire.”
Ryan nodded and somewhat reluctantly moved away, following her back to the main room.

(ooc word count 819)