Midnight Fast and Far Away // [Safe]
Jun 23, 2016 19:44:31 GMT -5
Post by Baby Wessex d9b [earthling] on Jun 23, 2016 19:44:31 GMT -5
a note from the desk of
Mace Emberstatt
when you never thought that it could ever get this tough,of District Ten
that's when you feel my kind of love
It was somehow worse to be in the Capitol when he actually wanted to be here. He felt like a traitor. In Ten, the only alone time he ever truly had with Saffron was stolen - moments in the woods, ladders stashed strategically beneath bedroom windows. At the Lowe's, they slipped quietly through the night out of respect for her mother; at the Emberstatts, they did so out of respect for his children. He was pretty sure they weren't fooling anyone, but they kept up the charade. He wanted to be a good father, to model (another?) healthy and respectful relationship.
He had every intention of being with Saffron forever, and in knowing that, he wanted to savor every moment, every milestone. He felt no rush towards anything, only a total grounding in the moment. When she kissed him - when she put her hands to his shoulders and rolled en pointe just to reach his face - he knew only that single, eternal moment. Which was to say nothing of the temptation she induced. They shared a bed but Mace was ever so careful not to push his luck, to wait for Saffron. It wasn't chivalry, and it wasn't entirely love, either. After so many years with Julian, he wasn't at all sure he could love Saffron the way she deserved to be loved. That fear, a tiny and easily squashed thing, ruled his thoughts, more than his tributes, more than the Games, more than his friends and children.
Until he watched the Bloodbath and a girl he barely knew who looked nothing like Saffron took a knife in the eye.
It was past midnight, bordering on dawn, when he threw a hooded sweatshirt over his chest and took the elevator down to the dark dining hall. Always the staff left out small treats. Before the sixtieth, they'd only been little bon bons and water. Now, a kettle of tea steamed and ham and cheese rolls were piled high. He'd taken a handful on an iron plate and sat down at his usual table, next to dreams and ghosts.
He stared at the food, and in the dark, it became a slice of cake - the most decadent chocolate cake he could imagine.
He shoved it violently away from him. The rolls bounced gently against the table while the iron plate clattered on the linoleum. Mace put his face into his hands, fingers reaching for his slowly receding hairline, when he felt her hands on the back of his neck.
He took a deep, long breath, and then moved his hands to clasp Saffron's cold ones. "I should have let her have the cake. Percy. I should have paid more attention to Kizzy and Bailey and I'm fuckin' tired of feeling this way, Saff." He turned over the bench to face her, drawing her between his legs. The shadows hid most of her face, the dim light just barely catching her eyes. He gazed into them. "Maybe you were right, way back when. I don't have room in my head for them and for you, 'n I'd rather just have you."
He had every intention of being with Saffron forever, and in knowing that, he wanted to savor every moment, every milestone. He felt no rush towards anything, only a total grounding in the moment. When she kissed him - when she put her hands to his shoulders and rolled en pointe just to reach his face - he knew only that single, eternal moment. Which was to say nothing of the temptation she induced. They shared a bed but Mace was ever so careful not to push his luck, to wait for Saffron. It wasn't chivalry, and it wasn't entirely love, either. After so many years with Julian, he wasn't at all sure he could love Saffron the way she deserved to be loved. That fear, a tiny and easily squashed thing, ruled his thoughts, more than his tributes, more than the Games, more than his friends and children.
Until he watched the Bloodbath and a girl he barely knew who looked nothing like Saffron took a knife in the eye.
It was past midnight, bordering on dawn, when he threw a hooded sweatshirt over his chest and took the elevator down to the dark dining hall. Always the staff left out small treats. Before the sixtieth, they'd only been little bon bons and water. Now, a kettle of tea steamed and ham and cheese rolls were piled high. He'd taken a handful on an iron plate and sat down at his usual table, next to dreams and ghosts.
He stared at the food, and in the dark, it became a slice of cake - the most decadent chocolate cake he could imagine.
He shoved it violently away from him. The rolls bounced gently against the table while the iron plate clattered on the linoleum. Mace put his face into his hands, fingers reaching for his slowly receding hairline, when he felt her hands on the back of his neck.
He took a deep, long breath, and then moved his hands to clasp Saffron's cold ones. "I should have let her have the cake. Percy. I should have paid more attention to Kizzy and Bailey and I'm fuckin' tired of feeling this way, Saff." He turned over the bench to face her, drawing her between his legs. The shadows hid most of her face, the dim light just barely catching her eyes. He gazed into them. "Maybe you were right, way back when. I don't have room in my head for them and for you, 'n I'd rather just have you."