Edna Bednarcyzk | District One | FIN

[d6a georgie cham 🍓🐢 frankel]

Edna Bednarcyzk
Female
Eighteen 
Career
Teen Mom: Panem

[d6a georgie cham 🍓🐢 frankel]

Everything is a mystery to me; my whole existence is one great mystery ready to be solved. But nobody will, not even the greatest mind can solve the sorrow and destruction of my life. Although I can’t complain, everything is better now. That’s what aunt Penelope says anyway. Well she isn’t actually my aunt, I’ve just called her that since I can remember. Probably because my mother and her were like sisters, the best of friends, something that I am unlikely to ever have…a best friend. So I live with my mother’s best friend, with her two children. Ethan the boy with the creepy eyes and Jenna the independent strong one with a savage tongue. But I love them all. I love my boy Jacko too.

Every time I look in the mirror, I reminded of my family, everyone always said I looked like Faye; my older sister. Even the colours of our eyes were the same, blue, just like dads. I wore my hair the same as her and tried my best to copy her clothing but she didn’t like it. I wasn’t really an individual back then with my appearance, I am now of course for Faye will look the complete opposite of me now. Or well I hope she does.

Just like the genetics that were passed down through my family, I am quite small. Even the creepy eyed Ethan is taller than me and he is younger, but that is because he doesn’t share my blood. I am at least five foot four, the last time I measured myself was when I was 14. Mum always noted the kid’s growth; the wall with our height still has the marks on. My last being exactly five foot and I believe I must have grown four inches since then. Before Jacko, I had the typical career body, toned muscles, flat stomach. It’s all gone now though, I am trying my best to regain it but it’s just not happening. Lined on my stomach is a reminder of Jacko’s birth, stretch marks running vertically up my body. I have to hide them of course, there’d be a lot of questions asked and nobody can know I had Jacko.

I’ve changed, not a lot but the changes are noticeable. What happened to me would change anyone but something’s that should have changed…haven’t. I just can’t look after him, my boy. Responsibility doesn’t exist inside of me. I didn’t pick up the maternal trait that my mother held, even being influenced by Penelope who is ultimate mother goals, I just can’t pick it up. It’s not for me, I am too young for this…I have other things to worry about. One day it might come, with age Penelope says. I am not mature enough, that’s what it is. But do I truly want to possess it?

I can’t let things go. Old things, they still have a place in this world. Broken objects don’t have to be thrown away, even if they can’t be fixed, everything has its use. It’s the same with the house, the big house that I grew up in. Everything is still the same, despite it happening three years ago. It’s my choice to change it, to throw it away but I won’t. That house is my childhood, that house is my family. Nobody will take it away from me and nobody will change it. Even Aunt Penelope says to sell it, or even sell the items to earn some extra cash but that can’t happen. Everything has a use. Everything has a memory.

Before it all happened, I had my friends, they didn’t leave me though; I forced them to never see me again. They couldn’t see me in the state that I was in but now that everything has settled, I wish that I could find them or make new friends. I loathe the socialism that I once held, actual people to talk to that aren’t Penelope or her kids. It’s just for the moment…I have other things to worry about.

But I do care for life, well I hope I do. Whenever I sit in the centre and watch people train, I can see mindless killers, their eyes filled with fury. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see the same fury in my eyes, I just see something else. I don’t know what it is but I have a vast list of possibilities. Guilt.Annoyance.Fear.Loneliness. Out of the four, neither of them can be a great alternate to fury but at least I have a mind. That’s what I like to tell myself anyway.

However I am still the girly girl that my mother will have remembered me as. I hurt myself, be it physically or mentally…I cry. Despite wanting to hide my stomach, I like to flash off the bits of skin that I can reveal. My individuality, inspired by older sister Faye is still there despite everything. I have crushes; I have perfumes that I love to bathe my body in as well as pieces of jewelery that I like to line on my body. It’s the only way I can make myself proud of who I am when I look in the mirror.

Mystery One - Who took my family?

I grew up in a well to do household, mother and father had their jobs and we had the choice of what to do. None of us had to go into the centre if we didn’t want to but me and my siblings ended up going in anyway. There was Simon, the eldest, Faye, then me and little Jackson. Everything was great, I lived a life that many I believe would dream of and nothing needed to be changed. A childhood blessed by my loving parents, perfect memories knitted into my mind to always go back too. That was the time that I was happy.

Until I was fifteen. I shouldn’t have met him but it wasn’t his fault, can’t have been his fault, being with him possibly saved my life after all. Harris Reed my destroyer and saviour. I knew him for a long time, he was always there being the annoyance that he was but when I was fifteen, I truly became friends with him. He was three years older than me and a great influence, be it with the drugs and alcohol that he poured down my throat. Every other night we would go out and each time, a piece of my mind would be chiselled away. I regret it all.

And then there was one night where I slipped out of the window to get to him, supposedly he had some new stuff that was so strong, it’d send us to another world. I don’t know why I agreed to it, it’s just I trusted him. I had never gotten hurt while being with him. The substance really did send me to another world, I can barely remember the night.

I can remember one thing though.

I can remember seeing Faye’s lifeless face, still painted in the makeup that she applied to herself every day, drowned in her own blood, all sourced from a wound in her stomach. The same thing happened to Simon and mum and dad…and even little Jackson. He was only eleven. Someone had come into my home and slaughtered my family one by one. I could have joined them, if it wasn’t for Harris.

Blood no longer stains the floors of the home but everything else that surrounded them has stayed the same. The peacekeepers haven’t come to a conclusion but I will. I will find who killed my family, by any means possible. That’s why I had to abandon Harris. He wouldn’t help me, his drugs did the opposite.

Mystery Two – Who fathered my child?

Left alone in an empty house, I needed somewhere to go. My mother had nominated her best friend Penelope Ansel to take care of her children if anything happened, well she only had one of four to take care of. Penelope is a great mum; her husband was okay, Erik. Her kids are hard to get used to but everything began to settle over time. Everything was slowly getting back to normal, I had a new family, they have a lot less money than my parents but it is more than what I could wish for.

But it would again change before my seventeenth birthday. Harris had found me again, along with his substances. I had relapsed; I was back on the drug that destroyed me. I was no longer worrying about who killed my family, I felt free. But during the day, when I wasn’t on the drugs, things seemed to change in the house. Erik, Penelope’s husband, there was something strange about him. He had suddenly been dropping compliments towards me, buying me clothes that revealed all. He’d always find time to be in a room with just me and him, his eyes never seemed to leave me…

Every night that I went out with Harris, I would always find my way back to my home before morning but one morning, I woke up at his...in his bed. Pulling the sheets from my body, I lacked clothes…I never saw him again.

One day Penelope and the kids when out and left me with Erik. All day I had been feeling ill so was bed ridden…it was the after effects of the drugs, that’s what I thought anyway. I remember nothing of that day but one thing. Waking up in Penelope and Erik’s bed, fully clothed, on top of the sheets. I don’t know how I got there…

But then weeks later the signs began to show, I kept throwing up in the morning but I blamed the recovery of not taking the drugs. Erik was getting ill too but much worse than me, the illness took a month to take him and by then…I found out I was pregnant. I had created such a burden for Penelope, her husband was gone and now she had a pregnant teen to look after but she saw it as an excuse to take things off her mind.She didn’t question who I did it with but I didn’t even know the answer to that. It must have been Harris.

Jacko took time to come, he was weeks late and he was quick coming to the world when he eventually started knocking on the door but I couldn’t look after him, I am not a mothe.

I’m left in this world, with two mysteries, a big empty house and a son and I have no clue what to do with any of them.

[d6a georgie cham 🍓🐢 frankel]

she done

[lance]

she fab.

ACCEPTED!