goodbye to the ghosts that fill my home [desimae-oneshot JB]

[grim.]

desi.

    I am forced into a small room filled with toxic air and dim light. My lungs burn with the overly sensational scent of flowers. I hadn't had time to comprehend what has happened just yet. So i decided to lay it all out on the table. Today is reaping day. I woke up? What, did I wake up? I pull my chipped nails to the skin on my underarm, taking hold of it and pinching hard enough to break the skins surface....I woke up, and I walked to the towns center just like all the years before. I stood, and I waited. I watched the shitty video, listened to the shitty speech and I heard the names called. 

    Desimae Warble was the name of the female tribute. I work out the syllables that bounce around my head for a few moments. Why did I recognize this name so vividly?....I was Desimae Warble. I was the female tribute of the 74th annual Hunger Games. I was being sent off to be slaughtered by the Capitol, the very same Capitol that has run this project for 74 years. I stop in place, realizing that the click of my heel had been cluttering through this room. Now that I had stopped pacing I take a seat at a small wooden chair that smells of mildew. I pull my hands into my lap and my thumbs begin to whirl around each other in a never ending circle. 

    I look to the mark still residing on mu underarm, a small cluster of crimson builds at the top of where I had pinched. I bring it to my mouth placing my lips against the wound, I taste that horribly satisfying metallic taste and then I begin twiddling my thumbs some more. Had I said good morning to Lilith? Had I eaten breakfast? I can't remember the morning my head still felt groggy. I scan the room hoping to find an unopened bottle of anything that can ease my throat, wash away the fear. A bottle of liquid courage, if u will. 

    I fail in finding anything that could be of use to me. I feel a cold nip of something in my sleeve. I then remember mothers rattle, its metal resting against my pale skin. I pull it out form under my sleeve and begin shaking it. It made that very same noise that melodically sent children asleep, though the noise was so chaotic within itself. I hear footsteps approaching my door and viciously slide the rattle back up my sleeve. I can hear the muffled sound of a man and women conversing, and then the door opens. 

    Through the door comes my mother, my father, and Lilith. I am quick to stand and brush my dress against my legs. I look to mother first, her face almost beaten with emotion, she hadn't been able to hide a single emotion in all her life. Father pats my shoulder and remains silent, as he has my entire life, watching as I have fallen apart before his very eyes. Lilith reaches up to me and I bend to level. Her arms wrap around my neck and I feel the small ridges of her spine beneath my own grasp. She was quiet so she too refused to speak. 

    "I guess it was finally time for you to answer for your sins." says mother. I shoot my vision in her direction, my eyes lit with anger. How dare she come in here and blame this on whatever it is I choose to do with my own damn life. I let go of Lilith and give father one last glance. They understood that I no longer wanted them here, and so father escorts Lilith out, and here I am left with the very women who has found a way to invest my very being. 

    "You sly little bitch" I say, my teeth gritted under my lips. "You come in here and you continue to shoot thoughts into her impressionable skull. If only you understood the wake you left for me, that you left for the both of us."

    My hands are now pulled into fists and my breathing becomes shaky. "Desimae, you are a disappointment to this family, and now the demons will finally have a taste for your blood." she spits. I feel my body tremble with anger and I throw my fist out. Feeling my entire body lash with hatred. My hand makes contact with her chin and she shutters backward. It wasn't long before the Peace Keepers rushed into the room and took her out of my presence, they then forcefully sit me down and tell me to stay. I pull the rattle out once more. That rattle that was once my mothers before she had become so wicked, and for the first time in a long time, liquid fear streams down my cheeks. And as my body shakes, the rattle continues to echo along. And the echo drowns out the sound of yet another child's soul shattering.