Lonely Never Felt So Weird (Jackson Solo Thread)

[uwu]

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Never have I ever been this close to death before. I don’t know how I made it out alive, but I did. I don’t remember much. Everything seemed to be a blur. I do remember picking up some javelins, then everyone started attacking me. After that, I knew I had to run. I didn’t stand a chance if I stayed any longer. I have a feeling if I took anymore hits I’d die. What do I do now?

I managed to not only save myself, but I also got another tribute out all the way to a quarry. Why did I save her again? I glance over to my side to inspect her. Oh, yeah. She can’t really walk by herself, can she? "Don't hurt me." Shit, I should probably put her down. I must be carrying her wrong or something. I carefully lay her down onto the ground, trying not to injure her more than she already is.

"Why did you save me? What do you want?" Her face shows curiosity, but the words didn’t carry the same weight. For whatever reason, they hurt. I give her a concerned look before responding. "I wanted to help. I'll leave you alone if you want. I don't want to bother you." My gut urges me to elaborate more, but my mind feels as though as I explained enough. That’s why. I only did it to help. Right? Did I have any other motives? No. Hell now. Why would I? I highly doubt I’m able to attack anyone right now.

"I don't need your help anymore and I didn't ask for it to begin with. Thank you..." I stiffen up a little more. What about your… it’s no point. I’d be a hypocrite. I’m much worse. I should be focused on myself. But I’m not missing a leg. But she said she doesn’t want any help. Maybe I should leave.

I pace back and forth thinking of what option I should chose to do before words replace thoughts in my brain. "You should go before... someone finds you." I give her a somewhat quizzical look. Others? What about you? What if they find you? "Oh. Okay. Well, if you do need any help, I'll be here. I’m not going to be doing much anyways." Did I just… what? She clearly doesn’t want help. But I should still help her. I don’t know. Why must it be so much more complicated out here? Why can’t I have my old life back? The one where I know I don’t have a chance of being chopped and hacked from every direction.

I take a sit with worry taking over again. "I don't' want you here. I'd leave but..." Yeah, I suspected that. Well, she did state it before. I know I really should leave, but I feel as though I should at least try one more time. "I'll still help you." I really should go. She doesn’t want me here. "I might not be the hero you want, but I’m the hero you need." I quickly look up, slightly confused. Shit, was that me? Did I say that out loud? Sounded like a mumble, though, so maybe? Damn, I need a better filter for when I’m stressed.

By the time I look back at the female tribute, she’s already engaged in her mirror, not paying any attention to me. I guess that’s my cue to leave now. What’s the point in trying to help someone who doesn’t want fixing? And no need to be an unwelcomed guest or someone who overstays their visit. I get up and turn to leave. I silently, yet quickly walk away, tempted to give one last glance back, but not allowing myself. It’ll be better for you. Just keep walking somewhere else. Anywhere else. Don’t get attached. It never helped anyone when they get attached. Just go away. I head away with regret of not being able to help. At least, that’s what I would like to think, rather than being rejected for trying to help. I really hope she does well. I don’t even know her name. Not that I should care anyways. One of us is going to die anyways. No need to get attached. Right? Just go away. I don’t know how I could do it, but it pained me to leave someone, especially if they’re hurt. But I guess it’s for the better.

OOC notes-For the love of everything good and pure, please don’t attack Jackson until Day 2. I beg y'all, please don’t.