Don't Let Me Go [Bolts's Funeral/Spark Family]

[kap]

Joule Spark
How can I take the pain away?

Her older brother had always been the one she was closest with. Joule and Bolts were always there for one another, reassuring one another that everything would be alright. They even tried to reassure one another the day their father died. They promised one another that everything would be okay, even if Joule didn't truly believe it until years later. Then, when Bolts was reaped, he tried to tell Joule that everything would be okay. He told her not to watch the Games, and she listened to him. That meant that she'd had to find out from her sobbing family that he'd been killed.

Joule broke down in tears that day and locked herself in her room for hours on end. She would only leave for the purpose of eating or using the bathroom, and still looked down at her plate at dinner, refusing to talk to anyone in the once joyous and busy household that was now oh so quiet and dreary. Things were so different without Bolts there.

Days had passed, and eventually, Bolts's body had been brought back to their home in District Three, which once again, put Joule in tears. Of course, she wasn't the only one in her family that was upset, but with how close she and her eldest brother had been, it seemed to have hit her the hardest.

One of the younger girls in the family, Industria, was almost as broken down as Joule, as she was only eight years old, and couldn't quite grasp the concept of death when her father had died. Joule normally would have tried to comfort her younger sister, but was too distraught herself that she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone that things would be okay, as she certainly didn't believe that they would be.

When Bolts's body was brought to them, they had already planned his funeral for a few days later. This would be a hard time on the whole family, so they didn't invite anyone outside of the household. The morning of the Spark boy's funeral, Mrs. Spark put out clothes for each of the children. Joule's outfit consisted of a plain black dress and black flats, which was very simple compared to Joule's usual sense of style. This was likely a good thing, though, as Joule wasn't feeling cheery enough to want to dress as herself.

Joule couldn't even think of the last time she'd laughed. It certainly hadn't been since Bolts left for the Capitol.

The family headed out that morning to their rather large backyard where the funeral would be held before Bolts was moved to the burial site. Mrs. Spark spoke words about Bolts, and Joule was sure that some of her other siblings would be likely to do the same. That was when Joule decided to speak some words about her dear brother. Moving over to where his casket was, she turned to face her family, speaking to them about her lost brother.

"Bolts was..." she paused for a moment, choking on her words for a moment. "Bolts was family to all of us. We know that. I was very close to him, making this really hard for me to cope with. It's hard for me to know what to say in this situation, but I felt that I should say something," she continued. "He was always there for me, and he didn't deserve such a terrible fate. I know I'm not as good with words as some other people, but I will say that he deserved better than this. Right now, we should all be together, alive, eating lunch or laughing with one another in the living room. Perhaps we could be playing tag outside, or he would be tinkering with something. Maybe he'd be fixing my firefly that he made me... but that will never happen now. At least, not with him."

Then, Joule turned to look at Bolts's body in the open casket.

"Bolts, I love you, and don't forget that. Even without you here, I'll remember you, and treat every day the way you'd want me to."

Then, Joule returned to standing next to her family and finally broke down in tears again.

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[Sleepy Fluttershy]

I don't believe he won't come back. This can't be real, it has to be a nightmare. 

"Bolts..."

No, I can't. There has to be a mistake. It cannot be his body.

"You were the best brother I could ever imagine..."

Why him? Why did it have to be him? Why can't I have my brother back?

"The best person I've ever known..."

It is still not making any sense.

"And the best friend for all of us..."

I want to go back in time, make things right, tell him to run away.

"We we will always remember you and..."

Joule's sobbing loudly near me and the whole world seems to be going down under my feet.

"We all love you, Bolts..."

Mum looks like she's about to have a heart attack. No, I can't cry, I have to stay calm and cheer them up somehow. Though can they really be anything but devastated at a funeral like this?

"And I really love you too..."

I can't say "loved". I don't want to believe that it could be true, that the only person worthy of a victor's fate is dead. I seem to have forgotten all the words in the world and I can't say anything else if I don't want to burst into tears like Joule did. Why is the Capitol so cruel? I don't understand. Are the people there even human? Or course they are, just... Not all of them.

"I really wish you didn't die... Please, don't go..." - I whisper desperately.

There's the first tear on my cheek. I can feel it slide down and fall on the ground. The second tear and the third one... I can't stop crying now. And I will never be happy again.

I hug Joule tightly and we are both sobbing loudly.

[kap]

Industria Spark
thantophobia
(n.) the phobia of losing someone you love

Industria Spark had never been to a funeral. Her father died when she was very young, but her mother didn't have the young girl attend his funeral, and will not give a reason why, even to this day. Dusty assumes that it's likely because her mother thought she was much too young to attend. Although, Dusty never thought of there being an age requirement for saying goodbye to someone you love. She hated the idea of losing someone close to her, but she at least wanted the opportunity to say goodbye to them.

This time, she'd be saying goodbye to her dear older brother, Bolts Spark. He'd been picked for the Hunger Games, and no one volunteered to take his place. Therefore, he had to fight to the death in unforgiving circumstances. He was put into a terrible arena with people who only wanted to kill him so that they could survive instead. Dusty watched him fight in that place, and even had to watch him die.

When Bolts was killed, she saw it all, other than the very last moment when she was holding her mother close, burying her face in her chest and sobbing so that she didn't have to see any more. The whole family cried that day. They did more than just cry, though. Many of them were sobbing and mourning the death of the lost member of their family that had meant so much to them all. Dusty didn't know what to do with all that had happened, and she cringed to her mother, as well as to Cordelia, attempting to gain comfort from them.

On the day of Bolts's funeral, the family gathered near the casket that held the poor boy's lifeless body. Dusty had seen him sleeping before, but it was nothing like this. This was a terrible sight for the entire family, and just seeing him made the girl shake. She tried to hold back tears and stay strong like Cordelia was in the beginning, but as soon as Joule went up to speak about their brother, the young girl began to cry heavily. She didn't have any way of stopping it, and flung her arms around her mother, not wanting to let go.

"It'll be okay, Dusty," Mrs. Spark said. Although, she didn't seem all too reassured by it herself, and there were clearly tears forming in her eyes as well, even if they hadn't spilled over into crying as of yet.

"No it's not gonna be, mama. He's gone, and I want him back," came the young girl's voice between sobs.

Her mother hugged her tight, not knowing what to say. Dusty had her face buried in her mother's stomach, similar to when Bolts had died on that screen and she buried her face in her mother's chest. This was the most that Industria Spark had ever cried in her life. No, she wasn't as close to that brother of hers as Joule was, but she still loved him just as much. The entire family felt the same love for him, and there was no changing that. They would never forget their undying love for him, and they wanted him to know that, even if he was gone.

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

The sky is red 

The tears are streaming domn my face

You can't be dead

It's something I cannot embrace...

The day is dark

The sun is hiding from the world

You were my spark

Without you everything grows cold

Destroyed and quiet

I'm sitting on the windowsill

You didn't die

And I'll make sure you never will

You were my friend, you were my spark

And I'll remember you forever

The sky is dead, the sky is dark,

But we will always be together.

He is dead, but I don't believe he is gone. Everybody is sobbing and I feel like crying too, but just because I feel so sorry for my family. Maybe I am not grown-up enough to understand death, but I am sure Bolts couldn't simply disappear and never come back again. There has to be a way for us to see him someday. I think we will be together again after we all die... Though I still wish he came back to us alive. What was left of Bolts looks horrible. I never wanted anyone to suffer that much pain, especially my brother. I hope he hasn't just vanished. I want to believe that be is still with us, like my parents. If he weren't, our lives would be useless. What's the point in living, if all the people disappeared after their death? Everyone is crying... On my right are mum and Dusty. Even she seems to get this better than me, because she's sobbing loudly. On my left Joule and Cordelia are doing the same thing. I hate to see my family that desperate. I have to make them feel better, because I'm an optimist. But the only thing I can do is hug Cordelia and Joule and say: "It will be all right..."

"He's gone, and I want him back," - I hear Dusty complaining. Why can't I make my sister happy, give her what she wants most? It is unfair, that life doesn't always have a happy ending for everybody. It is all unfair. But I won't let the evil win. The only thing I can do is remember Bolts and bring flowers to his grave every week, and I'll do that, because nothing else can be done. I step away from my sisters, bend down to the casket with what is left of my brother and whisper:

"Hi, Bolts... Don't worry, I will take care of them. And you will always live in my heart. I will never let you go, that's a promise."

And then I finally realise that I am not going to see him for such a long time...

"I'll miss you, brother..."

And that is when I begin crying, too.

[kap]

Joule Spark
How can I take the pain away?

Every living member of the Spark family seemed to be in tears right then. It was extremely difficult for all of them to see Bolts go. They'd seen him ruthlessly murdered on a television screen, and so many people didn't even know who he was. To some people, like those in the other Districts, he was just another boy in the Games. Just another boy who needed to die so that their own loved one could return home. Then again, wasn't that what the other tributes were to the Spark family? Just obstacles in the way of Bolts's survival?

Regardless, Bolts didn't make it. The boy had done everything he could. He told his family that he would do what he could to win, and he certainly tried. From allying with other strong tributes to fighting until the very end, he may have been terrified, but he didn't show it as much as Joule knew she would have. It seemed as if the young girl showed more fear for her brother than he did for himself in his final moments, and that was a terrifyingly stunning thing. How had he stayed so strong? Joule wondered.

Her siblings had spoken to Bolts, or at least, about him. Their mother tried consoling them, telling Dusty that it would be okay. Dusty and Joule both knew, however, that it would never be the same. He wasn't coming back. He was gone forever, and that couldn't change. Joule tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes, but they just kept reforming. Even when she stopped crying on the outside, she would never stop crying on the inside. There was nothing that could make her forget about the horrible happenings that effected the family, and Bolts in particular. Bolts was gone, and Joule felt broken.

Then, the girl went over to the now eldest child of the Spark family, Cordelia, and whispered to her.

"Cordelia?" she said, "I'll be home soon, but I... I just need to be alone for now..."

Joule then looked at Bolts's broken body one last time before bursting into tears again and running off, away from the funeral and towards the District Square. She wasn't leaving forever, but she needed some time away. Time away from the new terrors in her life.

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