strawberry coffee ✿ justice

[Deleted]

  

p e t e l i a ;

I've missed being busy.

See, they said it would be easy, vacations and all that, back to my own apartment working full time as a mother of a tiny mutt empire - it's what I've always done! Switching between my favorite channels, walking back and forth from my tiny apartment and my pink zoo, sitting awake at night just myself and midnight blankets (okay they're really comfortable though), not working is supposed to be the easiest thing. I've had more ice cream dates between my avoxes and I than I've ever had! That's a yearly quota met, I've successfully had one cashmere-threading spider live past a week and thread a tiny napkin's worth. 

So why is this the loneliest I've ever been. 

Dahlia sits crossed legged on the couch, switching between Ansgar's victory tour recaps and episodes of Sardonyx Crowe, I tap pudgy fingers on my temples; "I don't get it." 

For a second I wait for her to respond - yikes - forgot about the whole no tongue thing HA, "how can everybody be busy except for me!" I spent so long forgetting what it was like to have companions that now I can't help but remember, exhaling as Avon twists in his cloud-bed. An elegant black phone cold in my hands -- it seems like Venus is busy every time I try to call him at two a.m. His voices always sounds gravelly telling "Petelia," I laugh across the phone and continue telling him about how my avox daughters are doing but he doesn't take the hint very well. Just tells me "go back to bed, Quartz," and I give him the whole okay!goodnight!iloveyoubesafe! spiel and he mumbles some stuff back before hanging up. 

And Vepar is sorta the same -- us two have the same occupation! I know he's more "actually certified" and my mutts are commercial as all hell, but still! He fumbles more when I call him -- see, I know they don't hate me. I mean, they hand picked me two years ago to work for them, there's no way they can hate me right?- Oh god what if they hate me, it's because I call them so late isn't it. Maybe it's because I didn't invite them to Sardonyx's run way last year oh dear; wait, wait no I gave them a lion HA, they have to love me, never mind. Anyways, Vepar usually lets me air out my recent discoveries and he'll talk for a bit before getting off, but it's lame because they're like, busy or whatever. 

Then it hit me- feeding poached eggs to my avoxes and the house lions; I think I was planning out how to genetically alter already existing hair genes into unnatural colors that change with mood- like how cool would that be? I have no idea what I'm doing there but being stuck in this house for a whole year makes you lose things, mostly my house keys. Cricket loves to eat metal for some reason, but lions are lions y'know not much I can do there. Wait no that's when I realized I should buy fur coats for my lions, but okay how cute is that. They're like, giant house cats in coats that'd be adorable. 

Anyways that's what I bought them for Ratmas. 

House lions got fur coats, Avoxes got one thing they picked out - I'm losing money here okay - and then I realized, buried under three blankets and two sleeping carnation lions, that I'm a very lonely woman. It hit around one a.m. and I sat staring at the ceiling, too comfortable to move, too emotional uncomfortable to rest; it gets lonely spending your whole life with people who can't talk. I miss spending ratmas with my mother sometimes, but it's been so long all I can do is laugh at the good memories. My fingers strum the bed sheets for a moment until I grabbed the phone again, dialing up Venus's work number, then his home number, then his mobile number-

"Venus!"

"Petelia-"

"I think I should get a girlfriend."

"I think you should go to sleep."

Things I've learned through this rest year: start working professionally again, visit my mother's grave, don't let Dahlia near the haireating lionfish and call Vepar instead. Venus is the grumpy one- it's adorable. He hung up on me and I dialed Sardonyx's number next but she ignored it; probably something between Opal and her, I bet. But then, then it all clicked. Ratmas jingles playing through the apartment walls, Opal's nice name on my mind- I miss Justice. Ever since his crown and victory tour and settling back between districts and his first men- oh god. 

Oh god his sister died didn't she. 

Oh god that's tragic, my son's sister died and I didn't even oh my god, oh lordie; he's still in the capitolite right? Yeah yeah Sardonyx mentioned- shit. I shift between lions, one of them pushing away from me as I get a better grip on the phone; "Justice- Justice! Hahaha, hey it's me!" Pull it back girl, dead sister- he sounds happy to hear from me though aww. Sucks to suck Venus. 

("Yeah, I was just wondering if you'd want to spend the night before you left.")

It's nice to spend ratmas with family again, y'know? 

Not exactly, but still; it's still the season. Couple days late, but it's a Quartz tradition- since when have I ever been exactly on time anyways. The days between lasted fucking forever too, priming up the lions and hanging up decorations; this has to be good! His sister just died! It's ratmas!! Dahlia helped me in her silent movie type of ways, the hour before helping me bake and brew strawberry coffee, between the days she helped knit a cute little sweater for Justice, two little lions heads on the front with a tail on the back- I'm like, maybe a little bit too much in love with these things. I haven't had company in too long okay- "this has to be perfect." 

I made matching ones for Sardonyx, Venus, Vepar and myself of course -- no idea when I could give them to them but I'll find a way I swear to god. Oh boy, oh dear this is a bit extra huh, oh well- HA EXTRA, that's literally who I am who am I kidding hahaha, "do you think Justice is allowed to drink?" He's what- fifteen? Ratmas music plays off my phone speakers while he knocks and for a second I don't hear it, "I GOT IT-" screaming over avox laughter and christmas carols, "Justice!" Oh lordie, do I apologize for Pillar? No no oh my god this is supposed to be happy uhh- "one sec-!" Fumbling with the door knob and grabbing at his matching sweater off the couch.

"Ayyy!" oh shit it's cold as hell outside, "merry ratmas! Happy games and all that, come in, come in!" 

There's not much time for him to respond either, between me grabbing his hand- "it's cold as shit out here-" and pulling him in, closing the door behind him and shoving the both of us past two house lions, sniffing at the hem of his jeans. "Oh wait, wait!" I pause for a second with bubbly laughter and stretching out the sweater, pulling it out in front of my chest, "I made it myself!" The sound of avoxes laughing and drinking strawberry coffee floods my ears, "literally- the entire thing. One of those wool spiders finally lived long enough to start producing and- yeah. Also you can change the channel if you want, I didn't know what you'd wanna watch and all that." I push the sweater into his hands, sashaying between him and lions and the living room table, "one sec, I made coffee!" 

Wait.

"Store bought, not from mutts, don't worry." A toothy grin, this is so exciting! Pudgy fingers slipping between the handles of two coffee mugs, ratmas music in my ears and when I come back into the living room I can't help but laugh- this place hasn't felt this alive in forever. One of my lions, Avon, he's sitting on the couch all funky and the coffees burning my palms the same as my laugh radiates through the walls, I've always loved ratmas -- even if it's a week late. 

I hand Justice his strawberry coffee, sitting across from him on the cough. 

"I'm really happy you came."