Stages of hatred [METH]

[*]

"Wood is one color. It all cuts the same way." -Seth Brogan The first step on the train was the hardest thing I ever had to do. The crutch allowed very little support as I felt my good leg wanting to give out. The pressure laying on my chest made my heart feel like a ton. The air around me thick with a fog. However, my only thought was my parents and little sister have no clue that I will not be coming back home this afternoon. We scatter like cockroaches the moment we are on the train. I have no use to find comfort. Instead, I sit in the nearest chair and gaze out the window. We have no escort. No real influence to guide us before we train ourselves. What have we gotten ourselves into? They only needed one volunteer. It took two before me in order for my own voice to rise above the rest. However, the deal that was unknowingly made is what pushed me. "You should volunteer yourself, someday. Maybe the next one after I do." His voice still lingers in my mind. I remember everything. I'm not sure if he volunteered from my jest or not. It's no matter now because I'm here with two other girls boarding this train to go somewhere for our death. I feel like I'm walking in the air. Hope resides within my belly that I might get somewhere descent in the games. I've lived longer than most. I've faced trials that would test the ability of a grown man. I surpassed them. I'll surpass this one, too. "Marcus?" I mumble when something catches my eyes of a wandering body. The curls is what my eyes notice. The other two don't have that characteristic about them. "Marcus? Wait up." I clammer to him and shift my weight to stand. I catch up to him and keep a solemn face. "You really are stupid, aren't you? Volunteering like that."

[uwu]

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It felt as though it went by way too fast, but my meeting with my family was over. Two Peacekeepers escorted them out as quickly as they came in. A third one came to pick me up to take to the train. Why do they need to escort us? We volunteered ourselves, didn't we? Unless someone volunteered and ran away before? Dicks. This is why we can't have nice things. I resist the urge to start sprinting to the train to see what the Peacekeeper would do, but I have a strong feeling it wouldn't end well. I'd probably die before I even get to the games.

The next thing I know I'm with the rest of the fellow tributes of District 7 walking towards the train together. I spot Seth and Leticia. Shit. Shit. What did I expect? We'd be all going onto the same train. Still. Shit. I just want to get away from this situation. Just don't make eye contact with them. I quickly glance down all the way till we get to the train and board.

As we enter, everyone goes their own separate ways. I peel my eyes off the floor to take in everything around me. So this is what the train looks like from the inside. Nice. I could get used to riding in one of these. I feel the urge to explore my new surroundings as well as excitement. Both feelings disappear as soon as I hear a familiar voice a little bit letter. "Marcus?" I swivel my heard around to the voice. Fuck.

"Marcus? Wait up." Out of respect, I wait for the cripple to hobble his way over to me. It also takes everything for me not to say anything. I may hate him, but we're sadly in this together. He's from my home district, and we have memories. I guess. They aren't really good memories are they? But I know he can use an ax, which could be useful against those stupid careers. Also, he's crippled, so I can use him as bait if I need to run away.

"You really are stupid, aren't you? Volunteering like that." I grin at the irony of his statement. "Speak for yourself. Look at where you are now. We're in the same boat, dude. Or train in this sense" I laugh at my stupid little joke. It becomes quiet after my laugh. Unsure what to say next, I swing my arms, which follows to the vocalization of my first thought to try to continue the conversation. "So what made you volunteer?"

[*]

"Wood is one color. It all cuts the same way." -Seth Brogan Hatred hangs heavy around the both of us. One can't befriend the other because there is too much history that is leading us toward a different path. We are no friends nor are we enemies anymore. We are consequently allies now in a sense. We are the only thing from home that we have; other then the rest of them. We've brought so many with us that district seven just might serve a right good battle this year. Maybe even bring of us home to celebrate a long awaited victor. Could that victor be me or Marcus? It won't be one of the girls - they look too dainty. The rest of them though? "Speak for yourself. Look at where you are now. We're in the same boat, dude. Or train in this sense. So what made you volunteer?" He questions me and I give him a blank dead stare. "I don't... I don't know." I do, really. I remember everything about it but I doubt he does. "I guess, I couldn't let you get all the glory because you don't deserve to win." My snard remark bites even my own tongue. I shrug. "What made you volunteer then? Why so eager to leap to your death? Didn't have anything to do with what I said did it?" I have to know before I spout out the reason I did without sounding foolish or a waste of my breath.

[uwu]

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A blank stare is what I get in return. Great. I try to be friendly, but nope. He gotta glare at me. What an asshat. It's just like back home. Except with a lot lest fighting. "I don't... I don't know" I feel skeptical and squint at him. No. You're hiding something. I can feel it. But what are you hiding?

"I guess, I couldn't let you get all the glory because you don't deserve to win." My skepticism lifts. Now that's a fair reason to volunteer. "I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm going to bring home all the glory for District 7. You can help if you want." I jokingly punch him in the shoulder.

"What made you volunteer then? Why so eager to leap to your death? Didn't have anything to do with what I said did it? The question silences me for a couple moments as I try to remember. Why did I? What was the reason? Fuck. It happened not even an hour ago. I gave him a shrug. "I guess partially from wait you said, but mainly because District 7 needs a victor, and I plan on giving it one. Like I said, I'd be willing to take your help if you wanted to." I give him a small wink as I end my statement.

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"Wood is one color. It all cuts the same way." -Seth Brogan Marcus thinks he'll bring home the victory for district seven. There are volunteers enough for four reapings on this train right now, and he still feels confident that it's going to be just him to bring home the glory. There's no telling how many more have volunteered in the other districts. A cold chill shivers into my spine. There could be a hundred to volunteer between twelve districts, and we are but seven. What are the odds now? He punches my shoulder, jostling me very lightly as he tends to joke around. This doesn't evoke a smile from me. Instead, it lowers my threshold for a fight. His responce jolts my senses. He did this because of me, partially at least. That's good then... because I did this all because of him. "You'll be needing my help." A cocky reply is directed to him and for some reason, I crack a half grin, pulling the left side upwards in an awkward way. My eyes linger on his- capturing- his gaze before I turn away from him and jerk my head inward to the dining cart. "Glad to know you did it because of what I said - even just a fraction. You're the only reason I'm here - to tell the truth. I wouldn't volunteer for the hell of it because why would a cripple sentence himself to death?" I coyly admit and shift my weight with each step to the dining area. "Don't get a big head though. It's not about all about you. Of course, there are plenty of tributes wanting to kill you, I'm sure..." I take a pastry, popping it into my mouth, chewing without care.

[uwu]

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He didn't seem to like me punching him, even as a joke. I think. Please don't take it as a chance to fight. I also could be wrong. Overreacting. I guess I gotta be careful. Past memories of us fighting appear as I push them away. It's not gonna happen now. We're on a train. Being monitored probably. Plus, I gotta save my energy for the arena.

"You'll be needing my help." I laugh at his statement, which is followed our eyes locking. He gives me a half-cocked grin. I return it with a full frontal smile. He proceeds to shift his body towards the dining car next to use. "Glad to know you did it because of what I said - even just a fraction. You're the only reason I'm here - to tell the truth. I wouldn't volunteer for the hell of it because why would a cripple sentence himself to death?" Hmm... so I'm slightly responsible for him. "Probably to end the pain of knowing that I'll always be superior with two legs." I follow him into the dining cart.

"Don't get a big head though. It's not about all about you. Of course, there are plenty of tributes wanting to kill you, I'm sure..." Another laugh comes out of my mouth. "The only two people who I know for certain are on this train. You, and one of the girls. I haven't had time to piss off any others yet." I watch him pop a pastry into his mouth. Debating on whether I should wait until I get to the capitol to eat, I fall into my temptation and grab a cookie and devour it. "Shit, man. This food is amazing."