The party is over {yoya}

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

Leticia Wheeler

The first night at the Capitol is awful. I don't really remember what was happening after we all got off a train. I can just recall eating something in the evening and going to my room, where I was struggling to fall asleep for a couple of hours. Luke’s voice was chasing me: “Why, Tix?” I couldn’t get rid of it. I got up and did a handstand, then stood on my head for a while, then stood on my arms again and ran out of my room. My fellow tributes were probably wondering, what was going on, because I didn’t care whether they heard me racing around on my hands or not.

Gymnastics usually takes my mind off things, but today it didn't. “Why, Tix?” Aileen's tears, an insane look in mom's eyes, and Luke’s face... Was it all really worth it? Why, Tix? Damn, what did I do this for? Why couldn’t I sort my priorities right? Yes, he is the only one who’s spoken to me in years, the only acquaintance I have made since I was little, but he hates me. It is obvious. Why did I volunteer? He doesn’t understand and he never will. He probably thinks I hate him for being a jerk. Or thinks I am one too. Or just doesn’t care at all.

Why, Tix? Yes, I am mad. I don’t even know what I am doing and why I am doing this. And I don’t want to admit that... No, it is ridiculous. I don’t believe it myself. I should have been thinking about my family, not some damn guy whom I only met twice in my life.

What am I going to do now? If I want to help him, it means I will have to sacrifice myself... For what? And I can't help him, because we are in different alliances. I screwed up, as usual. I got mad. I decided to team up with girls whom I had never seen before. And lost the only chance I had for helping him like he helped me.

If I want to tell him something, he won't listen to me. He hates me. He is that type of guy, who will only laugh if I put the thorns and insults aside. And what am I going to say? Damn. Definitely not what I am thinking about. I just have to accept the fact that I am doomed. And that the person whom I preferred to my family will always ignore me. And I deserve it. I freaking deserve it, because I have always been acting like an outsider. Once an outcast - always an outcast. Nothing will make people like me.
…………………………………………………………………………
That is where my memories of yesterday end. I am not sure how I got my hands on that bottle, I think that I sneaked into someone else’s room and borrowed it. I didn’t even understand if it was wine, or whiskey, or something else, because I had never been drinking alcohol before. Anyway, after I opened the bottle, I felt a disgusting smell which almost made me throw up. But I drank it all anyway. Ew, it tasted like some horrible medicine. Bitter and nasty. However, I finally reached my goal: drifting off to sleep suddenly became such an easy thing to do...
I open my eyes when I hear the sounds of footsteps behind the door. Damn. It is the first day of training. How could I forget? But the world doesn’t look as bad as always. I still have a few days of the Capitol life. And I can eat whatever I want and hang out with a lot of people, including my allies. Charming. I suddenly feel like doing something crazy. But I have to dress up first. Wait, do I really have to dress up? Yes, I do. I put a t-shirt and shorts on reluctantly and head to the Training Center. I am going there alone, because everyone is gone already and they have probably forgotten about me, but I do not care at all.

As I reach the door of the training center, my legs refuse to walk. They have been feeling a little wobbly during the whole morning, but now I really can’t make a single move... Though I’ve still got my arms! I make a handstand and race through the door. I think, everyone is there already. But I don’t care. I just begin running in circles around the whole place, singing loudly. I do not care.

Yes, I have a damn crush on Marcus, but he doesn’t care about it. And no one else cares about what I am doing or what happens to me. And I would have never gotten drunk if I were my normal self, but who cares now? Anything could happen in a few days and nobody would even drop a single tear, except for my relatives whom I dumped. So who cares now? I am just going crazy, because it is the easiest way to survive this nightmare. And I love being crazy. Wheeeeee... Everybody is looking so funny upside down! And the whole training center is jumping around me... Maybe it is alcohol and maybe I have really gone mad.
Why, Tix?
Now I know why. But I don’t care.

"I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice

Table by the amazing and wonderful Solo:)))

[uwu]

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The first night at the Capitol had definitely been an interesting one. Once I got into my room, I quickly found my wardrobe; aka: the world's smallest, free clothes store. It had almost everything I wanted, if I was into clothes. I didn't really want to change into anything else, though. I was happy in the clothing I was in from the reaping. It gave me memories of home, which I don't think was the best idea. I eventually had emotions that made me want to cry. Sadness. I hated it. I hadn't felt that emotion since my mom died. Luckily, it made me tired enough to fall asleep quickly.

I quickly jolt up as soon as I felt the sun rays hit my face. First day of training today! Time to learn shit that's actually useful for survival, like how to use a weapon to kill someone. The thought of eventually killing someone and letting out my anger in a couple days made me completely forget the night before. This is gonna be so fun today. I can't wait to show the world to fear me. And to give District 7 a victor it finally deserves.

I take a steaming shower, one that lasts for a good solid forever. Holy shit this is amazing. I gotta tell Anna about this when I get home. She'll be so happy about it. I wish she was able to be here. Maybe if I win, dad, Anna, and I could live in one of those unused houses, and we'll get all the hot water in the world! After ages of enjoying the warm water, I finally get out, get dried, and get dressed. My outfit consisted of what I would typically wear when I'm just messing around town: some sports pants (that felt like heaven), a tank-top (no idea why, I just thought it looked cool), and a sweatshirt (another article of clothing that felt like heaven). I quickly put on a pair of shoes with some socks as well and sprint to the training room.

So many stations, so little time. I catch a glimpse of a training axe in a nearby station along with a couple other weapons laying on a table. Bless their hearts, they got my favorite weapon. I really hope I'm able to get one in the arena. That would be hella useful. I pick one up and spin it in my hands a couple of times to get used to how it feels. Is this made out of metal? Damn, the Capitol has been really holding out on us. If we had these types of axes, it would make work so much easier.

I don't know how long I stayed at this station, but long enough for my arms to start to feel sore. WHoops. This ain't usual. Maybe it's because I tried some of those throwing axes. That has to be it. I've never really thrown axes for that long before. Future debate of what caused my arms to be sore ceased as I heard the doors burst open. I jolt my head towards the sound, noticing someone run into the training center on their hands. Look at what the cat dragged out of the bag. Leticia doesn't' seem to be like what I remembered from back in the district, but I didn't care. I never got close enough to care about her anyways.

Suddenly, a wild idea appears in my head. I should trip her. A grand smile shins upon my face as I imagine the aftermath of my prank. It's gonna be hilarious when she falls. I wait patiently for her to get closer to my station before walking out and sticking out my leg. I feel her arm collide with it as she soon falls down. "Whoops." I laugh. "Watch where you're going next time, would ya?"

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

Leticia Wheeler

"And I don't really care if nobody else believes..."

I am gaining speed and singing louder. I don't care. Suddenly I feel someone's leg hitting my arm and fall down.

"Whoops!"

Ouch! That really hurt. Who was that? The bubbles of madness begin to fade away and I begin to understand that I am actually drunk. That is why I was feeling almost happy and acting like this. I wouldn't have normally done anything of that sort. I didn't think that alcohol would affect me in this way. And the effect should have worn off by now, but it hasn't. It is probably because I drank the whole bottle...

I look up and see the ceiling and Marcus above my head spin around.

"Watch where you're going next time, would ya?"

DAMMIT! NOW I AM ANGRY! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU, YOU IDIOT? I might look ridiculous, but it is not a reason good enough for tripping me AND MAKING THE WHOLE DAMN TRAINING CENTER WATCH ME FLY DOWN AND MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF! How could I even feel like I did for someone that nasty?

"DAMMIT!"

I sit up and try to stand on my weak legs. It is not working out really well, but finally I manage to switch to an upright position. His face is right in front of mine right now. And I really want to shoot all the crap back at him. All the rubbish he had said before. All his jerkiness. And so I start speaking not really loudly, but quite distinctly:

"Dammit! THAT HURT! Why do you always ruin all the fun? And why are you always being such a jerk? HAS IT ACTUALLY CROSSED YOUR BRILLIANT MIND THAT I COULD BREAK SOMETHING AND END UP IN A WHEELCHAIR, LIKE MY BROTHER?!"

I shouldn't have mentioned Luke, that is too personal, but I have said it already anyway. Dammit. And I also think he can sense the smell of alcohol coming out of my mouth, because I can feel it too. But I don't care. DAMMIT! And I go on:

"And why do you act like an idiot? One day you threaten me, the next time we meet you help me, and then you just make loads of damn fun of me! IF YOU HATE ME, JUST SHOVE OFF! And if you don't, try to turn your damn brain on and think what you are doing!"

DAMMIT! At least I have said it all, I think. Ok, I forgot to mention one teensy little thing. But it can still wait. I can't do this now. I am too mad at him. Why can't we just be at least friends? I am not asking for more. Yes, I know, I have been acting tough and he might not realize that I do like him! But damn, that is the way I am, why should I change? I still enjoyed our first encounter in the woods, despite his jerkiness, why can't he accept my gloominess? I didn't understand it then, but Marcus is really the only person I have met in a long while, who actually has some sense of humour and I sort of feel we are equal in a conversation. He always knows what to say, unlike Aileen who mutters something and runs away when I snap at her or Luke who just laughs and says: "Chill out, sis!"

I turn around and see a pile of weapons. I reach it and pick an axe for myself. Should get some damn practice if I want to survive, even Marcus can't make me forget my will to live. And nothing must get in my way. Everything starts spinning again. I know it is dangerous to hold a weapon in a drunken state. I can hurt myself. But I don't care.

"...Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me!"

[uwu]

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I can't help but to laugh as I watch her fall. My leg hurts slightly, but I couldn't give two fucks about it. It was a perfectly timed prank that went to perfection. That's what you get for acting like an idiot. Hearing her yell dammit doesn't help my laughing fit at all. It just makes it worse, causing me to double over. What a bloody idiot.

I straighten myself up, wiping the tears that ran down my face to notice her staring dead at me. She's gonna start yelling, ain't she?Dammit! THAT HURT! Yep. "Why do you always ruin all the fun? And why are you always being such a jerk?" I want to tell her so badly that it's because of an idiot, but mainly to humiliate her. However, she's doing a perfectly fine job on her own. "HAS IT ACTUALLY CROSSED YOUR BRILLIANT MIND THAT I COULD BREAK SOMETHING AND END UP IN A WHEELCHAIR, LIKE MY BROTHER?!"

What the fuck? "Bitch, my sister's in a wheelchair because she broke something. Wasn't my fault. I also haven't broken anything yet, so... yeah. I'm gonna continue to do it." What a pshyco. "And why do you act like an idiot? One day you threaten me, the next time we meet you help me, and then you just make loads of damn fun of me! " AAAANND she's still talking. "IF YOU HATE ME, JUST SHOVE OFF! And if you don't, try to turn your damn brain on and think what you are doing!" I sigh. "Have you thought about being not easy to annoy?" I say as I give her an annoyed look.

I'm about to turn around before I notice her look at a pile of weapons. Bitch, don't do it. It all happened in slow mo. I watched her pick up the ax and reface me. Out of whatever instinct I had, I straight up tackled her. I yanked the ax out of her hand. "BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?" Anger bubbles up inside of me as I rise up. "DON'T TALK ABOUT ME HAVING TO BE PEACEFUL IF YOU'RE GONNA STRAIGHT UP TRY TO MURDER ME." I put the ax back. "And why don't you try to turn on your brain and, I don't no, don't try to kill people beforehand." Fucking bitch.

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

Leticia Wheeler

"Bitch, my sister's in a wheelchair because she broke something. Wasn't my fault. I also haven't broken anything yet, so... yeah. I'm gonna continue to do it."
What? His sister is in a wheelchair, like Luke? Maybe that is why he is such a jerk. I feel really sorry for him. Maybe he is not such a bad person deep inside, after all?

"Have you thought about being not easy to annoy?"

Yes, I have. But I am not going to shut up whenever somebody tries to hurt or humiliate me. And you did both of these things. I always fight back when someone makes an attempt to make fun of me.

Maybe I shouldn't have said so much. Anyway, after I have spit it all out, I feel much better. Maybe I can actually train today. And I should never drink alcohol again. It is doing too much damage to my reputation. When I am thinking this and trying to figure out how one should hold an axe, someone's arm grabs it.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT ME HAVING TO BE PEACEFUL IF YOU'RE GONNA STRAIGHT UP TRY TO MURDER ME. And why don't you try to turn on your brain and, I don't no, don't try to kill people beforehand."

WHAT?! Not again! I have just calmed down. When will you finally stop doing this, you damn idiot?! Why do you always have to get in my way? I don't mind it, you know. You're fun and everything. But it would be much better if we were NOT arguing all the time and if we just talked about something without yelling at each other. And when you act like this it just makes me MAD! But I just don't want to be mad anymore. He is not going to apologize anyways. I sigh and look at him skeptically.

"Damn... The whole world is not about you, you know. I would never ever try to kill you or anyone else. Is it that hard to understand? We are just in the Training Center, mate. Did you expect me to train without a weapon?"

Seriously, he is being such an idiot. Doesn't get the simplest things.

"And will you finally stop calling me a bitch? My name is "LETICIA". Not "bitch". Got it? Also I might have been acting like a damn fool, but it still doesn't mean that you can trip me. It is not funny."

I pick my axe up again. Suddenly I imagine how my handracing performance looked. Dammit. Have I really been doing THIS in front of everybody? I look at him and sigh again.

"Well, maybe it was a bit funny. I looked like a damn idiot, didn't I? It still really hurt, though, so don't you ever dare trip me again."

My legs feel weak. But I am not standing on my hands again. One time was enough. I approach the wall and lean on it. The main problem now is to get my legs to finally work. But that is the one thing I can't do.

"I won't freeze you out..."

[uwu]

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After she explained why she picked up the ax, I felt a little bit like a fool. However, my annoyance still lingers. "I'm sorry for being on the defensive." I respond as I through my arms in the are. "You're drunk, and I had just tripped you, so yeah. I assumed that you'd attack. I also have bad memories of people using axes when they're angry." I quickly think back to Seth before concentrating back on her.

"And will you finally stop calling me a bitch? My name is "LETICIA". Not "bitch". Got it? Also I might have been acting like a damn fool, but it still doesn't mean that you can trip me. It is not funny." I shake my head, feeling my hair get all over the place. "I'll stop calling you bitch when I think you've earned it. Btich." I push the hair that gotten into my eyes and give her a wink. "It adds to the humor anyways."

She sighs. "Well, maybe it was a bit funny. I looked like a damn idiot, didn't I?" A giant grin appears. "Hell yeah, you did." I would continue to make fun of her, but she wobbles over to the wall. With that, I worry. She's probably hungover, or whatever that term is. "DO you want any help with anything? Are you okay?" I might as well get on her good side before shit hits the fan. She is from my home district, and she does know her way around.

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

"I'm sorry for being on the defensive. You're drunk, and I had just tripped you, so yeah. I assumed that you'd attack. I also have bad memories of people using axes when they're angry."



Damn. He noticed that I am drunk. It was pretty obvious, but I still wish he didn't see me like this. I feel really bad about looking like the damnest fool of all that ever existed. He also might not be as dumb as I think. If he had really seen people attack somebody with an axe in their anger, grabbing my weapon was very responsible of him. Maybe I could also chop some of my limbs off if he didn't take the axe from me, because my coordination level is somewhere between -1 and zero right now.



"I'll stop calling you bitch when I think you've earned it. Btich."



I wouldn't mind him calling me a bitch if I knew he doesn't mean it. Though he probably really thinks I have earned it. Damn. At least he is not lying about his attitude to me. That makes me feel a lot more comfortable around him.



"It adds to the humor anyways."



Maybe he didn't mean this, after all.

“Fine. Whatever. Call me what you want. Your sense of humor is odd though.”



"Hell yeah, you did,” - he responds to my words about looking idiotic. Well, at least he is not trying to be nice and tell me that I didn't look as awkward as I think I did. He is honest and this is one of the few good qualities I posess myself and respect in others. I don't really know if I even have a crush on him... Maybe I just like it when he is around. Even fighting with him is fun. I would really love to have a friend like him. And I should tell him that, or the whole volunteering thing will be in vain.



“Sorry about yelling at you. And sorry about the alcohol. I am not usually like this.”



Like he cares what I am like. And I didn't tell him the most important thing.



As I lean on the wall, I suddenly hear his voice again.



"DO you want any help with anything? Are you okay?"



He is being nicer than usual all of a sudden, just like the other day in the woods. I don't know if he really cares about me but I would like to believe he does. I should use this chance to say what I want to say before he turns back into a jerk again.



“I am fine. I think. Thanks for asking.”



But dammit, I am not okay. I slide down the wall and hug my knees. If I make one more move, I will throw up.



“No. I'm not fine. I was lying. DAMN. I am never coming near alcohol again. EVER. As for help... Can you show me what to do with an axe? I only know how to chop wood with it.”



I am still saying the wrong things. Have to put myself together and say this. I must not be a coward. DAMN. Am I actually afraid he will say “no”?



“Let's be friends.”



That sounded lame. I hesitate a little.



“I mean, would you like to be my friend? I am not saying this because I am drunk. I'm serious.”

[uwu]

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She accepts my terms for me calling her, which causes pride to fill up my chest. Hm. Yeah. This is definitely a first time. If only more people were cool with the nicknames I gave them. Oh well. At least it happened once. I wonder why people don't like them? I find them hilarious. Then again, I do it to piss others off. I guess theirs a trade off. And a first for everything.

As she responds to my question for help, she slides down the wall, clearly in need of help. I'm about to make sure she doesn't need any before she speaks again. "No. I'm not fine. I was lying. DAMN. I am never coming near alcohol again. EVER. As for help... Can you show me what to do with an axe? I only know how to chop wood with it." Figured.

I stop to think about how to teach her the ways of the ax until she interrupts me again. "Let's be friends." The question stuns me. Out of instinct, I glare at her. After a couple of seconds, I fully process what she said. Is she being serious? "I mean, would you like to be my friend? I am not saying this because I am drunk. I'm serious." Shit, she is.

I take a deep breath before saying anything. "Yeah, I can help you with how to use an ax. I could also use another friend, I guess. But under one condition, the friend bit. Don't get sappy over me when I have to attack you for whatever reason.." I realize how mean that sounds, but I couldn't care less. "If you mess with me or my alliance, I will not hesitate to attack. Always. About Axes. Attacking someone is like cutting down a tree, but you gotta get used to swinging it in all sorts of directions. That's about it." I give her a smile before picking up an ax myself.

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

"Yeah, I can help you with how to use an ax. I could also use another friend, I guess.


I can't actually believe my ears. He agreed to help me and be my friend so easily. Is he as serious as I am? I look at him again. Yes, he is. Damn. If I knew it would be so easy, I would have just said it earlier. I am so happy that I even forget about feeling vomit for a short while. I never thought I would freak out so much about finding a friend. If somebody told me a year ago that I would volunteer just to draw some person's attention to myself, I would have asked them to shut up. But now it just feels great to know that I have an actual friend now, even though this friendship won't last long, even though Marcus is the only friend I have now. One friend like this is worth a thousand friends.


But under one condition, the friend bit. Don't get sappy over me when I have to attack you for whatever reason. If you mess with me or my alliance, I will not hesitate to attack. Always."


I understand. And I don't mind it. That's what the Games are like. We have to hurt people whom we would never attack if we weren't in the Arena. I don't know how I am going to do this, but I will have to manage it too. And he also must do everything to survive. He has to return home as a victor because I am 90% sure that he promised his family to come back. He also has a sister in a wheelchair... I will not blame him if he attacks me to get home.


“Fair enough. I'll accept your condition if you promise me the same thing. No hard feelings about attacking each other.”

"About Axes. Attacking someone is like cutting down a tree, but you gotta get used to swinging it in all sorts of directions. That's about it."

He smiles. I think it is impossible to deny that this smile is actually sort of charming.



“Thanks for the tips.”



I smile back and try to get up. Dammit. Damn all the alcohol in the world. I feel miserable. But there's no time for taking breaks and giving up. I have to work on my fighting skills. However, I think I need to learn more about self defense. I am not entirely sure that one can only get through the Games by swinging an axe in all directions imaginable. I need to learn to protect myself and my allies. I make a few steps back to make sure I won't hit Marcus by accident and try to raise the axe in the air. Damn. I am afraid to cut myself while swinging it. But I swing it anyway. The axe slips out of my sweaty hands and I hear a loud bang as it hits the floor.



I am not giving up. I have to keep trying. Trying, failing and repeating everything all over again – that is what everyone's whole life is about.