shattered bridges {cameo | JB}

[Knuckles]

[googlefont="Vast Shadow:400"]

Typhoon

Red spots flicker before my eyes blotting out the crowd of people swarming around me. Each step brings a new hardship as I try to break free of the rope wrapping around my neck. Family means nothing to anyone anymore, and I'm stuck alone. The tsunami took so much away, yet these people brought me a new hope, they gave me a life I didn't deserve, and now they just threw it back in my face like I'm a no good piece of trash. Family doesn't abandon one another. Sure promises are made, and they want to succeed in life, but it doesn't mean to just volunteer to die. Every single breath catches in the back of my throat while a fire spreads inside. Without thinking my hands alternate between clenching into a tight fist then relaxing. Loud roars fill my ears to the brim. I'm drowning in a sea of wrath.

A frantic heart claws at my ribs trying to escape, and I want to scream at the top of my lungs, but I hold it back with all my might. Nobody abandons me. Nobody throws me aside like I'm a filthy piece of trash. They proved that I am disposable, and I no longer want anything to do with them. Truth and dare wouldn't change a thing. All the liquor in the world wouldn't undo what is done. But it's not about me. No. It's about Tempest and Blizzard. The two of them are falling apart, and I am the one that'll have to hold them together. Chaos and Lightning have given me a burden I didn't ask for, and now I'm all alone. Being strong has advantages as well as disadvantages.

My jaw is tight, and I find myself grinding my teeth trying to process what just happen. A hurricane dances inside. My blood boils, and I'm looking around shoving people out of my way. They don't matter to me. Nobody matters anymore. A bridge collapsed, and now the only way to connect to the two foolish idiots is through a line of doubt and fear. My heart hammers inside my chest, heartbeat ricocheting through my mind. Narrow eyes lock on the door to the justice building. Somewhere Chaos and Lightning sit inside, and oh how I want to run in and destroy the pieces tethering them to this very earth. They crushed my soul under their boots, and I'm going to do the same to them.

Peacekeepers are at my side, and I'm seething trying to get through. They can try to stop me, but nothing will. Nothing ever will. Let them arrest me and throw me away in the detention center. Maybe I'll rot and die there and all this would've been for nothing. Maybe it's the only way to finally figure out what love truly means. Glaring at them, I walk on daring them to say anything, and I ask for the door where Chaos is temporarily residing. After being pointed in the right direction, my feet carry me forward. I do not knock on the door, I just barge in slamming the fragile door behind me. My eyes meet her, and the words leave my lips before I can do anything to stop them. "What the fuck was that?"

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Chaos     Salt licked cheeks reside as the sole resembles to the mental terror I just had to endure. One by one they sinfully gifted their farewells, and numbness weeps in their aftermath. A deserted room swallows me whole, which seems even absent from myself. Does Chaos truly still quake within this flesh of a being? Because a null aroma feels to be not of a sensation at all. The purple cream of the walls have subtly shifted into pure grayness, and for once helplessness overcomes me. Should I have trusted Lightning in entering and exiting the future Arena strongly by himself? Most likely. Though still I wouldn’t have altered my decision. Glossy light textured eyes, from far too many tears, harshly stare upon the dancing sea outside the window. Have the internal torment concluded with the finalization of goodbyes? No. And my heart begins thumping violently with the question if Typhoon will be visiting. To see them for a final embrace would be worth pausing my desires of ending this nightmare of my last minutes upon my home land. Despite the fact that solely death awaits in the distance ahead, I crave to flee to such sanctuary rather then wonder about it. Not until I witness Ty’s presence though. Will they grace me with such company? A bit is known about the mysterious Sibling that blessed our O’Hana, yet I’m still conflicted over their current travels. It’s not until the door rattles in a breaking opening, that the answers sings harshly before me. Anger spews from their features; and truthfully, it’s refreshing to observe a different emotion. More sorrow would only cradle me in weakness to the Capitol. Another’s frustration yanks me from such, though still it takes a moment to absorb. My legs pull up to the chair I’m sitting against, and my chin rests upon my frail knees. Only a blank expression occupies the entirety of my face, while a various opposite breaches from Ty’s lips. “Hi to you to.” Sarcasm instinctively combs through my vocals in a calmful pitch, before I scuffle it down. Knowing whether they’d be satisfied by my sarcastic approach always varied; And it’s easy too assume in a time such as now, it won’t be appreciated. My head shifts, my cheek stealing my chin’s place across my knees to gain a better sight of my last family member to arrive. What the frack was that, that I just did? It’s simple. I paid a promise. I carried an oath I’ve held for the longest. I surely completed my vow to always protect each O’Hanas, or die trying. “I had to…” Whispers past my dried tongue, with just enough volume to reach Ty’s ears. “I couldn’t let Lightning enter a Game himself.” It’s the only reasoning I have, and hopefully it’ll suffice. o'Hana

[Knuckles]

[googlefont="Vast Shadow:400"]

Typhoon

A volcano boils inside me as the sound of my pounding heart bellows loudly through my mind. It isn't right. Why would someone do something so stupid? In the depths of my mind it'll never make sense, but as I'm standing in front of Chaos nothing makes sense. The world twirls around without me, and I'm stuck. My eyes lock on her's for only a moment as she tries turning my anger upside down, but nothing ever will. Trust only goes so far, and she crossed the line along with her dearest brother Lightning. It's not what I'm looking for, and anything she throws at me will not satisfy the question lingering in the back of my mind.

But perhaps it'll offer something else.

She just had to go and volunteer for the games to protect someone. What about me? What about Tempest? Blizzard? Does she not care about us? Does she not understand what the two of them just did? Chaos will erupt, and I won't be around to hold it together. Glue can't mend broken glass. It'll only hold it together until it shatters once more. It can't mend a broken heart as the strings try to keep it working normally. Glue won't bind bones together, but it'll hold a family together.

They caused a storm, and now they're leaving us behind to deal with it, and I cannot allow that to stand. This is their problem, they caused it, and they're running away from it like a bunch of cowards.

"Bullshit! If you wanted to protect him, you wouldn't have let him volunteer for the games to begin with!" My jaw clenches tightly as I glare at her trying to figure her out. "What happened to nobody being left behind? What happened to not abandoning the rest of us?" My voice raises as the questions spew from my lips, and I don't know how to control it anymore. "What about Tempest? How do you think she's going to do? And what about Blizz? Do you think she can handle it?" I know the answers, but it's not about that. It's not about asking to figure out what she'll say because I don't care anymore. She ruined my life, and I want to ruin her's, yet I don't know how.

"What about me?" I pause allowing myself the chance to gather my thoughts, "What do you think you just did to me?"

404 words

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Chaos     The rage spikes in a brutal continuation, similar to a mosquito’s starvation for luscious blood- willing to endeavor, until a smacking death deceases their effort. Automatically my demeanor tenses, nauseated by the idea that this conflict will be my final minutes with Typhoon. But unfortunately, they’re entirely right in their accusations. Thoughts of my absences plagued my vision as I traveled to the stage not long ago; the images of a crumbling House, while I’m not their to rescue the O’Hanas from a collapse. And even worse, as selfish as it is, the sensation they’ll all mend their internal injuries perfectly well in my vacancy. What if Lightning returns to the realization that my presence was never truly needed? Except that in this instance, I must plea that they’ll suffice past my departure…until he returns. Of course Typhoon’s perspective is harsh questions to everyone’s response to my absence; it must be rhetorical, as their tone answers such. What have I done? Yet their first delivered point reasons all of my doings, which is the first I must address in desperation of an understanding. Without any physical control upon my reaction, I breach to my feet and close the distance between us. “Do you really think I allowed him to volunteer?” Nearly yells from my core, infuriated with the fear of this futile atmosphere forming our last goodbye. “I never wanted anyone in a stupid Game! I warned him to not be stupid several times today, and he didn’t listen! And I have to protect each of you guys, no matter how idiotic he just was!” Once again tears jolt to my eyes, refusing to fall, as I beg for Ty to comprehend my reasonings. Inflamed exhales blaze from my nose in attempt to calm down. “Please, Typhoon. I can’t stand the thought of your last memory of me being that you’re angry at me.” More pleads breach past my lips, mentally flailing with the horrid view of Ty burying my grave with this hatred to recall. “I’m going to make sure Lightning makes it home. You have to understand why I have to do this.” My volumes drop significantly from how it was solely seconds prior with these words. There’s an urgency to envelope Typhoon in a concluding embrace, just as I did with the other two. To externally force them to agree with my decision in such a gentle manner. But from what I’ve gathered about Ty, it has to be a physical contact they accept. So for now, my arms remain twitching at my sides. o'Hana

[Knuckles]

[googlefont="Vast Shadow:400"]

Typhoon

All that I just asked is met with nothing more than anger. Of course it is, though. That's to be expected. But who can get angrier? Who can break the barriers? It's something I've worked on. Pushing everything away refusing to allow myself to feel the sorrow. When something's under pressure, the top blows, and I don't understand why she would push me this far. It just doesn't make sense, and instead of saying goodbye, I'm standing on my own two feet yelling at the one person who just shattered every bridge and every promise. Apparently we're being left behind. Me. Tempest. Blizz. All three of us are being left to fend for ourselves while they die in the stupid hunger games. Chaos may have made a promise to me, but it was broken the moment she threw me out like a piece of trash.

That's all I am to anyone.

I'm never good enough. Never strong enough. Never fast enough.

I'm a mistake, and apparently it was a mistake to come live when them after my parents disappeared in the tsunami. But it doesn't matter now because once again I am being left behind and forgotten. My life has too much value to just throw it away like these two idiots have.

"Apparently promises are made to be broken." I half sigh half shrug my shoulders. My eyes lock on the ground as tears of anger try to spring from the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. "I don't need your protection."

But what's the purpose of trying? The purpose of living my life when those I care for crush everything I believe in? Chaos shattered the bridge, and it's beyond repair regardless of what she thinks. And if Lightning comes home, what's going to happen then? And if Lightning dies and Chaos survives? All of this would've been for nothing. Protection isn't what anyone needs right now.

"And this is why I don't open the doors to just anyone!"

Chaos begs for me to stop. She doesn't want this as my last memory of her. But what's the point? Crying won't save her. Yelling won't bring her back. Nothing will ever fix what's been broken. And she wants me to understand why, and I'll never understand why. Throwing their lives away is their decision, but I don't agree with it.

Steam blows through my nose as I turn around, eyes locked on the door behind me.

"I'll never understand, Chaos. That's the thing. I'll never understand why you two don't value your lives. It's so much more important than a stupid game." I pause for a moment trying to keep myself calm. Trying to clear the emotions, but I have nothing nice to say. Nothing will ever fix it. And I can't help save anyone anymore. "And while you're protecting him, you've forgotten about the rest of us."

A single tear runs down the side of my face I turn around trying to keep my voice low and calm, "By doing this you abandon us, and you'll have to live with it for however long you survive." I stop in my tracks and turn towards her, "But I'll be damned if I try to pretend everything's okay." I don't know if she realizes this anger is my sorrow. That I will miss her. That I do not hate her regardless of the words spewing from my lips. But what's the use of trying?

Nothing will ever change.

584 words

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Chaos     The words, that comb across Typhoon’s tongue, carve deeper then a knife ever could. All of these misunderstandings, that each O’Hana -of this generation- contains, inflicts far more pain then death ever could. It’s as though I’m physically drowning, and every criticism they deliver over what I just did is forcing me beneath the waves even further. Ty speaks of how promises are supposedly meant to be broken, and I’m mentally left gasping for a desperate breath. In the two aspects of this situation I would be breaking a promise. Allowing Lightning to enter the Arena without me, would ignite the lesser of evils in responses it seems. Though internally I would shatter beyond repair, as I’d be failing to complete my vow in protecting him. Volunteering as I did has erupted hatred towards me from nearly each member of our Family. I’ve forfeited my shield from the three of them, and that alone has already murdered me… at least I will actually be deceased by the end of this; I won’t have to endure the inevitable pain this year’s Game has fated me with. And if my determination strives as it should, everyone but me will survive this. No matter what decision I would have made, overwhelming agony will embark me. And it seems that Ty will only enhance this. “I don’t need your protection.” Harshly bites from Typhoon’s vocals. Excruciating nausea overtakes me, and I’m unable to verbally reply in any such manner. My face instinctively contorts in the horrid absorption of their statement, while more tears flood my eyesight- refuting to collapse, but solely blind me. Did they truly mean that? Or is simply that infuriated by me? Oh, please be the latter. “And this is why I don’t open the doors to just anyone!” Their sentences continue to slash me into pieces, as though I was merely rotten fruit that has disappointed them. How I could use some fermented fruit right now. Further Typhoon strives in telling me that they’ll never be able to understand this. With the jumbled mess of my thoughts, I can’t comprehend anything myself. Life is priceless within my perspective, while all of theirs still take precedence over my own. “And while you’re protecting him, you’ve forgotten about the rest of us.” Even Typhoon is taking this as favoritism though. Why has none of them gathered that I would do this for any of them? Automatically I would give my life for each of them; but unfortunately, I’m not a cat with nine life’s. This sacrifice can only occur once. They’re so close to the door, desire to depart radiating from their person, that I want to curl over in defeat already. The brutalities of others is far too easy to swallow. But when it comes to the scoldings from one of my Siblings, I’m unable to handle it. “By doing this you abandon us, and you’ll have to live with it for however long you survive.” That was dreadfully already a given. My entire body is frozen as I watch them breach closer to leaving. Thankfully a breath is allowed though as Typhoon shifts their direction towards me, rather then the exit. “But I’ll be damned if I try to pretend everything’s okay.” Because it’s not, and that I can agree with them on. “Of course this is not okay! But I would have followed any of you guys to my death, if it meant I might be able to save one of you! If it was a different year, I would have volunteered myself over one of you guys- because I don’t want any of you in a damn Game! If it were Lightning or Storm reaped, I would have volunteered over a stranger so one of them wouldn’t have to go in alone! I’ve been the guardian of this O’Hana family since Tempest & I were born! None of you are allowed to die before I do! Even if it’s because of a fracken stupid decision!” Breathes like fire from my lungs. At the end of this, Lightning will return home! And it’ll be my grave they have to burry to make sure of that! The last thing I need is for our last memories being of turmoil arguments. Refusing to allow our final encounter to go without an embrace, I force my arms around Ty- just as I did with the other two. “I’m sorry Typhoon. I’m so sorry that is has to be like this.” But unfortunately, it does. o'Hana

[Knuckles]

[googlefont="Vast Shadow:400"]

Typhoon

Almost immediately Chaos releases anger, and it's almost a welcomed sight, yet it still doesn't make me understand the meaning of all this. Why would anyone care? Why would someone throw their lives away? I would've killed her if she volunteered for me because this is my life, and I'm perfectly capable of understanding this myself. It's my life to live, and she's trying to ruin it. Protecting Lightning is her goal, and what she doesn't realize is the games isn't predictable. Look at this quell. Volunteers only. Everyone who volunteers gets a place in the games. I can't even calculate how many will volunteer from one and two. It doesn't matter though because I'm sure she'll get the death she's sentenced herself to. And it hurts knowing that she voluntarily did this. Knowing that Lightning wants to die only makes it worse. One would die for sure, and even then it isn't a guarantee one would return home alive.

She goes on stating she's the guardian of the O'Hana family, and that none of us are allowed to die before her. What if I went and threw myself into the ocean right now where the fishermen are fishing? What if I dived head first into a pile of rocks because of this stupidity? She doesn't even know what's going to happen when she's gone, and sure as hell I won't be around if she comes back home. I want to hate them for this, I want to destroy everything they worked for - I'm not even a real O'Hana, and they've just proven it to me.

And to make it all worse she forces me into a hug.

Every emotion clears my face as I give her a pat on the back before breaking free. That was completely uncalled for. She knows how I feel, and I ought to just walk out of the door right now. Nobody invades my personal bubble, and she just broke the rules I've set out for myself.

"I’m sorry Typhoon. I’m so sorry that is has to be like this."

Sorry doesn't cut it. Sorry never will cut it. It'll never mend the shattered bridge.

A heavy sigh leaves my chest as I look her straight in the eye, "What if I die before you even enter the games?" Folding my arms across my chest, "You don't know what's going to happen. The games are unpredictable especially one where every volunteer is allowed."

My eyes are failing me as the tears slowly leak down my face -

"And if Lightning dies and you survive would this have been worth it?" Raising a shaky hand I wipe the tears away, yet my breaths are shaky, and this has become nearly impossible to hold onto anymore.

"Your life matters, Chaos. Even if you're willing to throw it away."

473 words

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Chaos     The moment I connect the embrace with Typhoon, I could sense that it was an action I shouldn't have made. Honestly, I knew that I shouldn’t have done so the moment the urgent reaction embodied my movements. It’s as if I began a friendly spare with a premature attack and a vicious expression upon my face, before the Referee called it to start. With a gentle clap Ty’s palm taps against my back, and already I know I’ve done wrong. They pull away from the encounter, just as Tempest and Blizzy had done earlier, and I’m left wondering if anyone will burry my grave with the reminder that I only wanted to protect them each; In all of their minds I’m forfeiting that right to solely protect Lightning. If only they’d listen to my words. But for now, I comprehend the statements that Ty is presenting me with. And sorrowfully, they’re entirely right. Each of them could reach their demise before Lighting hopefully returns. But how could I consider such when his existence was definitely balancing upon the fence with his volunteer? Within my perspective I was assuring they’d all survive through his conquering. Because I’m certain if he retrieves home, he’ll guard them with equal power that him & I shared. Then I’m left with the unthinkable thought of if he doesn’t make it through- not if either of us do, but just him. And Typhoon’s next comment expresses exactly that. I’m left entirely speechless; not over the unpredictably of this Game, but it’s result- which causes the unpredictably of the O’Hana clan. What will occur if two members are deceased? When Lightning had claimed the stage, I assumed the rest of the O’Hanas would make it through the countless of weeks without him. My presence wasn’t considered in the least, as instincts enforced me to keep them all alive. But if Lightning didn’t return to assure the family remains intact? I didn’t have a second to consider such. Certainly the others would hopefully keep things afloat; though how would they handle two deaths? Then the question I don’t wish to hear breaches my ears. What if I were the one to come home? Typhoon’s words are unbearable, of not ones that I’d ever want to think of. But that makes me extremely selfish to beg for my death first, even if we were both to die. “No.” Is answered far too quickly, in response to if I merely made it home alive if it’d be worth it. My bottom lip is bitten immediately; craving to retract my knee-jerk response. They don’t deserve to witness two family members’ dying. While I can’t imagine anything more if it wasn’t Lightning to make it home… But for some odd reason Typhoon views my life as worthy, with no explanation to follow. The only other thing to be remarked is that it is, even if I’m willing to throw it all away. The thing is, I’d gladly throw it away- for any of them. If it meant any them living, even at the sacrifice of my own- I’d make it. Though none of them will see that. “Thank you. And I’m sure it is… Except all of yours, I’d rather see living then my own.” Again I refer to the fact I’d risk myself for each of them, any day. “And I can only beg ALL of you will be living by the end of this, or else I’ll kill myself over again… I swear to Ripred if any of you are as stupid as Lightning just was, I will pay the same promise in our after life- whatever it may be.” And with that comment another vow is sealed. o'Hana

[Knuckles]

[googlefont="Vast Shadow:400"]

Typhoon

What's the point? I ask myself over and over again. Why am I even trying to make sense of it all? She doesn't care, and yet the questions are there. They're spewing off my lips hanging in the air. The boiling volcano settles for a moment, and I just hope it stays that way.

But how can the shattered glass come back together?

The questions have a meaning, a purpose, and it's obvious that Chaos only cares about Lightning. It's all about him, and it always will be. I'm not even a part of this family, and yet I'm standing here pretending like they care. It was shown too soon. I'm just a wallflower wilting away. Every second becomes harder and harder, and I know the doors will open soon, and the dreaded peacekeepers will drag me outside without any explanation. All that is needed is for her to wrap her mind around what I'm trying to say. Throwing her life away is stupid, and she keeps bringing it up. Lightning probably won't even make it home alive. They both are stupid, and I can't even make her understand. Chaos only cares about getting him home alive, and while I want to laugh at her, I try to hold it back as much as possible.

"And that's what I don't understand! You're pretending like your life doesn't matter, Chaos." Clenched hands meet the wall, and as I'm trying to remain calm, I know it's not possible. "You both made a stupid decision today, and I'm not going to watch you both die." I don't even realize my knuckles are bloody until a drop of blood trickles down the side of my hand. "I can't watch you both die. I can't do it. I can't even watch one of you die. So why do this? Why ruin our lives?"

It's no use though. It'll never be because the consequences of their actions are more than we can ever take a hold of. I take a deep breath wiping the blood away as the seconds continue ticking down.

"But there's not much time left, and I don't know what else to do. I don't know what to say. I can't say goodbye because that means forever, and we will meet again even if it's in another life." With a shrug of my shoulders, I look away. "So I guess I'll say until we meet again, farewell."

404 words

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Chaos     Words are delivered forth, and knuckles carve into a wall. Just a smidgen do I flinch- not from fear, but from utter shock of how far this has gone. Even Tempest’s overwhelming concern had me baffled. It’s as if they’re treating me as the Mother of the group, and I’m unsure of why. For the longest time I’ve been the Father of the clan; protective, and in need of a nightly six pack of beer. I’m the one gruesomely following down our Parents’ path, and because of this I deserve to be the first one to go. An overabundance need for alcohol plagues me, along with the occasional violent street brawl. The one good aspect of my departure, is I will surely never become our Creators to the full. The statements continue from Typhoon, while not a single part is false. Both, Lightning & I’s, decision was foolish. Mine especially with the addition that I will surely be deceased in continuing my vow. There’s a very good chance that Lightning could have conquered success by himself; while I simply couldn’t let him. And in the process, not only have I sealed my demise, but horribly affecting the other O’Hana members as well. “I didn’t mean to.” Whispers past my lips, regret diminishing my rage. Blood seeps from Ty’s fists, and there’s such an urge to aid it. Of course I don’t dare to remove the distance between us though. Just as my decision to volunteer did, I’ve forfeited my right to care for them. The pain this is causing is far more gruesome then any form of death could ignite. There’s nothing left for either of us to do. Farewells are a must, and final moments are passing. Fortunately Typhoon doesn’t storm out in utter disapproval, even though the need to is spewing from their features. A somewhat proper goodbye is provided, and it’s the most pristine one I could request for. “Until we meet again.” Repeats from my own tongue, sorrow contorting my tone. When Lightning returns they’ll all forgive me…hopefully. My bottom lips is crushed between my teeth in attempt to prevent myself from crumbling once again. “And despite all of this… please don’t forget how much I do love you all.” Maybe they don’t see it now, but I do love them each beyond explanation. And though they don’t believe me- I’d do this for all of them, even while knowing the dreadful response that would surely follow. o'Hana