feast your eyes [gaby]

[solo]

Riven Fowley

Finally, it's lunch time. I've spent my entire morning at the self-defense station, and physically, I'm exhausted. I make a mental note to visit the camouflage and plants station this afternoon, where I can sit and paint and press buttons and not have to move or push someone into the ground. I need a break from being around so many people, but I know that's not an option at this point. I need to be around them as much as possible, gather all the information that I can before I'm pitted against them in the arena. So far, I'd say things are going fairly well.
I'm at the back of the line, but when I get to the table, there's still just as much food as there was when the tributes started piling up their plates. What amazes me about the Capitol is the endless supply of food they have. In District Ten, there were days that went by when our bellies were never full. And even then, my family has it better off than most of the others. In the poor parts of our district, there are those who can go a day or two at a time without eating anything at all. Here, you are expected to stuff yourself at every meal, and there will still be food left over when you're done.
I grab a plate, and with quick, steady hands, I gather on to it a chicken breast covered in some sort of thick, white cream, glazed carrots, golden mashed potatoes soaked in butter, and a roll of white bread that still feels warm, like it was just baked. There's loads more to eat on the table, but I put the restraints on and try to stick with what I have. There's still dessert, and I can always go back for seconds.
I turn around, ready to sit somewhere that I can be alone and people-watch. I spot a welcoming chair in the back corner, secluded from the others. But then my gaze lands on a somewhat familiar head of brunette hair. I hesitate, then adjust my coordinates and head in her direction.
"Hey Leticia." I murmur, and take a seat beside her. She's a bit sour and hot-headed for my taste, but she's all I've got. Her, and two others. The three who could be the difference between by life and death.
I pick the roll off my plate, holding it in my tiny hand, and take a bite. Warmth fills my mouth and the smell of yeast floats up into my nose. We never had bread like this in Ten.
"It's crazy how much food they have here." I say with a small laugh, hoping to start up a conversation. I want her to like me, don't I? "Always more than you can eat."

THROUGH ALL MY MAKE BELIEVE
THERE'S SOME REALITY

{Word Count: 464}

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

Leticia Wheeler

I am sitting at a table with a glass of juice and a plate with two pieces of bread in front of me. But I don’t really want to eat. I was only having one meal a day while living at home. And I know that my family is still starving. Why should I stuff my stomach with the damn chicken when my sister might be fainting in the kitchen at this very moment? I have many things except for food to think about anyway.
Suddenly I hear someone’s voice.
“Hey, Leticia.”
Dammit. I don’t want to listen to anyone. I just want to sit here and think. Is it that hard to give me some space for a few minutes?! I raise my head, ready to give a gloomy answer and see Riven. I don’t want to snap at her, even though I don’t feel like talking. This district ten homegirl reminds me of Aileen somehow. At least, that is what she looks like. A naive child, who would never hurt a fly in her life, who is only learning about plants and self-defense and probably won't even have the strength in her to attack anybody. Even though she is older than me, I still feel like I am the big one when I am talking to her. Damn. I don’t even want to think about what will happen to her in the Arena. Why did she even volunteer? She obviously doesn't understand what it will be like - the Games, the deaths, the pain...
When I think about my sister, I feel a pang in my heart. We were never really close and I spent so much time with my brother, forgetting about her. I only yelled at her when she was making all sort of trouble around the house - almost burning the dinner, not putting a bucket full of cold water away after cleaning up... Yes, we were starving a few times because she messed up, I fell down and hurt myself badly on multiple occasions when tripping over everything she left lying around. But she didn’t do it intentionally and now I feel that I was being totally unfair to her. I have been a jerk. And I feel so guilty about not using the time that was given to me to try to be a real sister for her.
Riven’s voice breaks through my thoughts: "It's crazy how much food they have here."
Yes, it is damn crazy. Some of the people I know, including my family, could really use at least half of this stuff. I don't really want to talk, but make my face look like I am actually listening.
"Always more than you can eat."
Maybe it is rude just to keep silent. The poor girl is obviously trying to start a conversation. I have to say someting now. Don’t want to scare her away. She is one of the few people with whom I will have to share the horrors of the games, after all.
“Yeah... I wish I could send all this meat and bread to my district. They would really appreciate the donation.”

"And I wonder where did I go wrong..."

[solo]

Riven Fowley

I watch her reaction carefully, as I always do with anyone I'm speaking to. She looks up, apparently ready to say something, but then rethinks it. I wonder if I should've come over in the first place. Maybe I would have been better of sitting alone, like I usually do. 
She is quiet for a moment. I can feel the anxiety building up inside me, wishing I hadn't come over, wanting nothing more than to sit alone and observe and not have to speak with anyone. But having a conversation can reveal things about a person that you would never understand from simply watching them. And these things are important. I need to know them. Without them, the boxes in my head will never be full. There will always be a space, room for one more thing that I'll never find.
“Yeah..." I am pulled back to reality by the sound of my sort-of-friend's voice. "I wish I could send all this meat and bread to my district. They would really appreciate the donation.”
Her words confirm my belief: she doesn't want me here. But I need to be here. I need to learn as much as I can, and I need to actually understand her if I am ever to work with her in the arena. I need to know how she works, how she functions. I wonder silently if her words are genuine, if she really cares about her district that much, or if she's just desperate to come up with an answer.
I nod my understanding. I can't really compare Seven to Ten right now, because with Ansgar winning last year, we've been fairly well off with regards to food. However, there was a time when we didn't have enough. In fact, most of my life has been spent with not enough food.
"Tell me why you volunteered." I say suddenly, changing the subject in the most awkward way possible. She doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe if I find a topic she's interested in, she'll become more engaged.
The realization hits me that I sound overly demanding. I duck my head, and I feel my cheeks grow warm. "I mean, um, please. If you want to."

THROUGH ALL MY MAKE BELIEVE
THERE'S SOME REALITY

{Word Count: 366}

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

Leticia Wheeler

"Why did you volunteer?"
Damn. I can't believe she has just asked that. The question strikes me like a wave of thunder. No one has been interested in it so far... Except for my brother. I didn't tell him, why should I tell her? But she is my ally and my life might depend on her at some point. Besides, she looks so shy that I just don't want to scare her away with a rude answer. It is always painful to look at someone who is trying to start a conversation and doesn't know what to say.

"To be honest, it is none of anyone's damn business."

It wasn't really nice, was it?

"I mean, I am sorry, but I didn't even tell my family."

Maybe I should say more...

"I didn't do it just for the sake of volunteering anyway. It was because... Someone else volunteered."

Awkward silence follows.

"Being nice doesn't work out really well for me, does it?

More silence.
"And why did you volunteer?"

"And I wonder where did I go wrong..."

[solo]

Riven Fowley

She doesn't answer right away, and I can't quite read her expression. I'm not sure if she's annoyed or surprised. Whatever it is, I don't think she wants to talk to me.
"To be honest, it is none of anyone's damn business."
I press my lips into a thin line. She definitely doesn't want to talk to me
"I mean, I am sorry, but I didn't even tell my family. I didn't do it just for the sake of volunteering anyway. It was because...someone else volunteered."
Someone else? I frown, thinking. District 7 has so many volunteers, there's no possible way I could figure out who it is. She must mean a friend, someone she's close with. I make a mental note to watch her carefully and figure out who it is. It could be important, especially if they're part of another alliance. She might have ties to other tributes.
"Being nice doesn't work out really well for me, does it?" she pauses a moment. I don't answer her, because I don't think anything I could say would be right. Instead, I let her think about it, turning it over in her head a few times.Then she continues with a question. "And why did you volunteer?"
Of course. If I ask her something, she will probably ask it back. I should've thought of that before I asked the question in the first place. After a second of thought, I shrug. "Impulse. I'm a reckless person on a good day, I guess kinda foolish on a bad day." I glance at her, and give a shy smile. It's a half-truth. Yes, it was an impulsive action. Yes, it was on a bad day. The details of that day, however, are not for her to know. And besides, I don't want to talk about it. My father, drunk the night before. A brother who refused to help me. A fight that I would love to forget. I blink, and try to focus on what's happening in the here and now. Perhaps it'll distract me.

THROUGH ALL MY MAKE BELIEVE
THERE'S SOME REALITY

{Word Count: 336}

[Sleepy Fluttershy]

Leticia Wheeler

She hesitates a little and I realize that I shouldn't have asked that. The answer to this question is personal for me, why can't it be personal for her too?

"Impulse. I'm a reckless person on a good day, I guess kinda foolish on a bad day."

That does not surprise me. I have known she is not the volunteering type since I saw her for the first time. Riven smiles at me and I wonder, what she is hiding behind that smile. Volunteering is more foolish than reckless... What kind of a bad day it had to be to make her volunteer? Something she doesn't want to talk about, I suppose. 

She is not speaking anymore... It is probably my turn to start talking, but I don't even know what to say. Damn. How do normal people talk to normal people in a normal way? I have forgotten this long ago and now it takes a lot of effort to remember. Dammit. Perhaps, it would be nice of me to ask a question... What can I ask if she doesn't want to talk about volunteering and it is one of the few things we have in common? Training is too depressing, because it reminds me of the Games... Maybe I could joke about something. Will she even understand it is a joke? It's still worth a try. I gather my strength and open my mouth.

"Try not to be too foolish when we get to the Arena, then. It won't do us any good there."

Maybe I should smile to show that it was a joke, but damn, I just don't feel like smiling. Every time I try to grin, I remember Luke and the rest of my family. But is any of this her fault? No, it isn't. Maybe I should think more about other people. And as I think that, my lips twist slowly into a friendly, patronizing smile.

I look at her again and the image of my sister appears in my head again. I wasted the time I spent with her and regret it now. And I don't want to feel like this about anyone else ever again.

"Can we be friends? I mean, not just allies, but also real friends?"

"And I wonder, where did I go wrong..."