Controlled Chaos {Evian | Cedus}

[goldiefc8]

E v i a n

There is a certain comfort in repetition. I spent most of life up until this point not even knowing what I was going to do for the next minute. Looking back on it, that life has an almost otherworldly feel to it, like I can't even understand it in a vague sense. Today, like all the other days of this new life, almost everything I'll do is already planned out. Aside from smaller things like conversations and what exactly the captain wants me to do, I'll just follow yesterday. And the day before that. And so on. 

I'm not even sure if I like this repeating life or if I hate it. It's just different, overwhelmingly different. God, everything is so different now. I still haven't gotten completely used to the sea sickness from the ship but at least it's gotten easier compared to when I first started working. I remember emptying everything I had that morning that first time we hit a big wave much to the hilarity of the captain.

It was always that sort of working life I had the most trouble with, and I still do really. Father only taught me so much about the sea and the rest was figured out painfully on board. Navigation and the actually fishing were only things I felt confident with, the rest was a mystery, especially with all the equipment. Damn things were practically witchcraft at first. 

Thoughts storm around me in absence as I'm on board but I pull out of my reminiscence when I'm called over to check something by the fiery girl. Her name always escapes me but fiery girl is as good any considering how she acts. Come to think of it, I only really know the nicknames of any of the crew. Captain, boatboy, and whoever the fiery girl was, all of those are nicknames and hell I only really picked up the one of the other boy on board because that's just what the captain called him. Perhaps I should actually memorized their names? I mean it's not like this was a problem before, we all worked well enough even without knowing that much about each other but-

My own thoughts are interrupted by the lurching of the boat and I buckle a bit, hitting the side of the boat with my shoulder. God that hurt, I rub my shoulder with my other hand as if that will help anything. Water splashed overboard violently, throwing at least a few buckets-worth of salt water onto the deck. Still shook up by the clash with my shoulder, I didn't even pay any attention to where the water was going.

I let my thoughts start drifting off again, just waiting for the next thing to do when I feel my body begin to slip.

Shit.

Just like that, my daily life of repetition and day-dreaming was rudely interrupted

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[vely.]

   C  E  D  U  S.

     At the first sliver of morning I see the golden light whisper through my blinds. The golden light then begins to raise its volume as it dances on the tip of my eyelids. My eyes flutter open as I pull myself from my small sweat stained mattress and slide into my usual attire.

I slip a box of cigarettes into my flannel pocket and feel the back of my shorts to ensure that the lighter I kept there was still there. I walk into the kitchen and kiss mom on her forehead before heading out, she seemed anxious. I stepped out the front door to discover exactly why she was anxious, the weather wasn't all that friendly. She was always anxious on days like these. I turn around and run back inside and give her a hug, "Ill be okay, I promise" I say as I then run out of the door again to start my day. 

    I could see the shoreline form my porch, the dock seemingly endless along the water. I sprint down to the waters edge and begin my short trek to Captains boat. Once I arrive I toss myself over the boats side and land on the boats creaky wood boards.

I pull the packet of cigarettes out of my pocket and slip one of those little cancerous devils between my lips. I then pull the lighter out of my back pocket and flick my thumb to ignite it. The addictive kiss of nicotine nectar filling my lunges. I wait a few more minutes and then I see my two ship mates board the boat not to far behind me. "What you waiting for boatboy? We are all here." Captain says, giving me a playful glance. Without a word I untie the boat from the dock and we start to drift out into the water. 

    I notice a few other boats setting sail as well, but not as many as usual. The weather must have them on edge, just like mama. I dont pay too much mind, the weather wasn't too bad. It may have been too rocky for some of those smaller toy boats, but Captians ship of strong, I knew we would be alright. I watch as Captian moves back into his position up by the wheel and he starts to trudge the ship forward. I can hear the motor begin to chuckle.

After a few minutes we were a decent ways away from shore and that meant fishing was mandatory. I pull out my rod and begin to bait the hook. I cast the line into the deep blue water and I watch as the waves knock my bobber around. 

    Before long I hear a load splash, I nearly turned around and shouted at the source. Because all good fisherman know that obnoxious sounds scare fish, but before long I realized that one of our crew members was missing. It was the dark haired boy, he had fallen overboard.

I feel a slight smirk paint across my face as I realize what had happened. He was new around here, I believe he came form some rich family, hardly worked in his life. But now he is having to do real mens work, and he is a bit clumsy. I withstand from laughter as I rush over to the side that he had just toppled over. I wait hoping that his head surfaces soon, I wasn't looking to go for a morning swim. 

TEMPLATE BY ELIZA @ TB & ADOXOGRAPHY

[goldiefc8]

E v i a n

Cold. 

That was the only thing I could feel at first, the sensation of coldness overtaking every nerve in my body. It was only seconds later when the initial shock subsided that I could really take in what was happening. If it was the coldness that hit me first, then it was obvious awareness of the fact I was under water that hit me second. I open my eyes to confirm it, of course being slapped with the stinging feeling that comes with doing so under water. Spite the blurriness I can at least make out that I'm close still close to the ship and probably less than 10 feet under the water but there's only a meager amount of relief from that revelation.

I still have to get to the surface, that's of course the first priority here. I instinctively begin to move my arms upwards but then I'm hit with a harsh stabbing sensation in my shoulder. God, this has to be one of the worst pains I've ever felt in my life, I must have collided with the boat earlier harder than I thought.

Now I feel the panic begin to set in. I don't want to die and I certainly don't want to die some cold drawn out death at sea like he did. If I'm going to die I at least want to do it in some original, less painful way damn it. I begin trying to kick in coordination with my free arm but all in all I'm not getting anywhere fast enough. It's too easy to underestimate just how strong the water can be, especially in a tide like today's.

As I try to struggle upwards I'm given a brief second for all the delayed thoughts to run through my head at once. Mostly how can I be such an idiot for falling overboard anyways? God, with any luck I can get back up and only have to face minimal laughter and/or harassment back on board. 

But clearly I don't have any luck as I feel myself slowly draining of oxygen and still not close enough to the surface. I get increasingly more desperate and haphazard with my moments. Now I'm just fighting all I can without any kind of cohesion. The closer I get to the surface the more the pull of the waves keeps hitting me and setting me back, if I wasn't faced with the possibility of drowning I'd be downright annoyed with it. 

I can't keep trying to worm my way up without my arm, it just won't work so I grit down my teeth and raise my injured shoulder. I can clearly see now that something is wrong with it, though my vision is still blurry. This isn't the time for a medical diagnosis but it had to be dislocated or something. It hurt like hell and moved like the limb of a lifeless dummy but it worked better than with no arm at all.

Now I was a few feet under the surface but the waves were far worse here than before, not to mention my entire chest feeling like it was going to light itself on fire from lack of oxygen. For a moment, the turbulence of the waves felt like they slowed down and there was my chance. Pushing through the pain I push forward, closing my eyes in preparation to readjust to the light and expecting to breach to the surface any moment.

Then I felt my entire body being vigorously thrown to the left and the last thing I felt before passing out was my head - and of course the rest of my body - colliding against the hardened metal of what I assumed to be the ship.

When will I stop being terrible at this?

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