common ground// [goat]

[sbeeg]

I sat by the train tracks even though Rhetoric had been carried away on them two days ago. Trains didn't come by often. Not on the tribute line anyway. A supply line was occupied frequently to take the clothes they slaved over to the Capitol. But this one, the rails were polished but little weeds grew between the ties. The high speed train was only used once a year and life still grew between the reapings.

I supposed everyone's lives were like that, they continued between the games even if one slip of paper could end it in an instant.

No Anadiplosis had been reaped before. They were a big family that had been blessed for a long time, but now that time was over.

I was foolish to believe that our family would be untouched by the bloodshed. The Reaping always hurt, but to have it so close to home.

In truth, I'm scared. I'm terrified that the Capitol will take my family one by one. That they'll take me. It's a silly thing to worry about. It'll either happen or it won't happen. There is nothing I can do to stop it, just like there nothing to do to stop Rhetoric leaving the district.

I just wish I didn't feel like such a child right now. A little girl crying over something she cannot control.

[goat]

damaris hope

I’m outside. I went outside by my own free will, my own decision. I wanted to get some fresh air in my chest. The weather is sweltering, but the sweat beading up on my forehead reminds me that I am alive. I’ve walked all the way out near the edge of the district, where the tracks are. Nobody wants to end up on the train that rides these tracks. I should know. All the cousins I’ve lost in the past five years started their journey to the grave on that train.

My parents don’t know I’ve left the house. When they discover I have, they’ll worry like mad. Perhaps they’ve already figured it out. God, what if they have? I feel the guilt bubbling up in my stomach. This was a stupid, stupid idea. Look at me, I’ve gone and hurt my parents because I decided to be selfish. I need to go home. I quicken my pace, turning my slow walk into as much of a run as my lethargic body can manage. Dirt and grass crunch underneath my worn-out boots. The sound turns into a comforting rhythm that I align my breaths to.

I stop. Somebody else is here.

A girl is sitting by the tracks. The air around her is sad. If it were a color, it’d be the deepest blue. That’s not so different from myself. Should I say something? I shouldn’t. I’d probably make a fool of myself. I skidded to a halt a good few feet from her, so maybe she hasn't noticed me yet.

No. I’m going to say something.

"Are you alright?" I ask. I take a tentative step forward. "I’m sorry if I’m assuming wrong, but you seem sad. I’m sad too. That’s how I knew, I guess."

wc; 298

[sbeeg]

"Are you alright? I’m sorry if I’m assuming wrong, but you seem sad. I’m sad too. That’s how I knew, I guess."

I'm on my feet the second I hear the voice behind me. Fingers raise to my cheeks to wipe away any tears that may have fallen. It was another girl, around my own age. She had fair skin and dark hair, and something about her seemed familiar but I couldn't quite place what it was.

It was an odd thing to say to someone, especially a stranger. Honestly, I thought no one else would be around the tracks right after the Reaping. Many in the district tried to avoid them, something about being jinxed for next year. Since my family had already be chosen I saw no harm in sitting near the cursed metal. However, what was this other girl doing out? It was a cloudy day and most people were inside, afraid that if they went on an errand run they'd come back soaking wet.

"I'm fine," I say, my voice harder than I intended. I stand up straight, trying to appear unfazed but I know it's not working. The girl knew I was upset just by looking at my back, of course she'll know staring at my face.

My lips twist into a fake grin and then into a frown, and then into a forced line as I try to control the emotions swirling in my chest. No one is around except for this stranger. No one would call me weak for feeling sadness for my cousin. No one would even know.

"Actually," I say, the word cracking as it leaves my lips. "I'm not doing well at all. I, um, I'm losing someone very dear to me."

Losing, not lost. Not lost yet. I'd get to watch that on television in a weak and feel all these emotions all over again.

[goat]

damaris hope

The girl jumps to her feet as soon as I talk. She wipes her face, so she must have been crying. I was right. The clouds in the sky tumble above us, threatening to rain, as if the weather can read our minds. She tells me she’s fine, but her face contorts like she’s in pain. She probably doesn’t want to talk about it. I’ve probably upset her even more. God, I knew I would make a fool of myself. I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Actually,” the girl says, her voice cracked like broken glass. “I’m not doing well at all. I, um, I'm losing someone very dear to me.”

“Oh,” I say, which must sound awfully insensitive to her. I shake my head. “I mean, ‘oh’, as in, ‘oh, that makes sense’. Of course you’d be sad if that were happening.”

I look at the ground and begin to draw a pattern with my boot in the dirt. “I’ve lost a ton of people in my life. My last name is Hope, if that rings a bell.”

I laugh after I say it. Everybody knows who my family is. There are eyes on me wherever I go, their pity seeping into my skin. It’s more than uncomfortable. It makes my body itch like there are bugs all over it. Don’t they have anyone else to feign sadness for? Families lose children in the Games every year. I suppose our family has just been losing them at a faster rate.

“I’m sorry about whoever it is. It isn’t fair.” I look back up at the other girl and offer her half a smile.

wc; 273

[sbeeg]

"Oh." What else is she supposed to say? There is little to say to someone who is losing or has lost someone they love.

“I mean, ‘oh’, as in, ‘oh, that makes sense’. Of course you’d be sad if that were happening.” There was something comforting about the way this stranger tumbled over her words. In a family so confident, and so knowledgeable about the inner workings of grammar is was nice to listen to someone speak like, well, a person. I bet she has a normal name too. Nothing like Rhetoric or Diacope. People don't even know what Diacope means. Double. Repetition. A better name for a twin, if you ask me.

“I’ve lost a ton of people in my life. My last name is Hope, if that rings a bell.”

Oh. Was there any family in District Eight that had known as much death as the Hope family?

Lily, Paige, Gentian, and then Eva. Four in so little time. Lily had been taken away on the train around five years ago and her family soon followed.

Suddenly, I felt silly. Rhetoric was my cousin and I loved her but losing her would be only one from my large family. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose four.

"I'm sorry for your losses," the word fell oddly from my tongue. No one should ever have more than one loss for others to console them for.

"I'm an Anadiplosis," I said. I look nothing like the others in my family. A lot are blood related and a few others are adopted but I'm one of the few that was plucked from the orphanage without a single feature in common with my family. "I know I don't look like her, but the girl tribute picked was my cousin."

The words all come out in a rush- my mind's way of revealing the truth quickly so it could get back to denying or mourning it.

I bite my lip for a moment, considering my next words carefully.

"If you don't mind me asking..." I start, my fingers knotting themselves together. "Does it get any easier?"

I realize how vague I must sound and shake my head to clear all my thoughts to speak clearly.

"I mean, do you ever forget them? Or does it feel like a hole in your chest forever?"

Not the most eloquent sentence from an Anadiplosis.

[goat]

damaris hope

“I’m sorry for your losses,” she says, and I wish I hadn’t mentioned it.

She tells me her name, Anadiplosis, and I whisper it under my breath to make sure I’ll be able to pronounce it. An-a-di-plo-sis. It’s a mouthful, certainly unique. I think I like it. Then she tells me the girl who was just reaped was her cousin. It makes sense why I found her tonight. The world decided it needed to bring two kindred spirits together. It’s funny like that. Sometimes it works in your favor. Often times, it doesn’t.

“If you don't mind me asking… Does it get any easier?”

It doesn’t, and I don’t want to tell her that. She seems very nice, though, and nice people deserve to know the truth. My truth may not be everybody else’s truth, it’s been twisted through years of depression that began long before Lily and Paige and Eva and Gentian had twisted it further, but it’s all I have to give her.

“I mean, do you ever forget them? Or does it feel like a hole in your chest forever?”

A sigh escapes my lips. “I don’t want to lie to you. You seem nice. And your cousin, I’m sure she was a lovely person. Is a lovely person.”

I wring my hands together before crossing my arms. My shoulders slump forward, threatening to cave under the burden I carry on top of them. “It’s bad. And it’s going to be bad for a while. There’s always going to be an emptiness that nothing can fill. My family is… broken. We thought it couldn’t get any worse after losing Lily.” I inhale a gulp of humid air, nearly choking on it. “It was strange at first, to think I’d never see her face again, but at least we still had Paige.”


I let myself laugh, once, even though it isn’t funny. It’s bitterly ironic.

“You get used to it as time passes. I almost expect it now. My parents go out of the house and I fear they’ll never return. Maybe that’s just me, though.”

I wish there was more I could tell her. There are probably so many people telling her they can’t imagine her pain, but I can. I know how it feels to lose somebody, and another somebody, and two more somebodies. Perhaps the loss will never stop for my family and I. I hope it will not continue for hers. “I know I’m not much help. I’m sorry.”

wc; 415