Falling in Reverse [Payton]

[Tom]

Payne D'elia

Eyes. Blue, brown, green, and any other color that human have stare back at him as he lifts the heavy wood onto his back with some help from the other worker who didn't like him one bit. People stare even though they saw it every damn day of their lives. Maybe it was a feat that only few can do, but even so, all it ever is, is just men carrying wood of a tree that no longer exists in their world. The other worker heaves it forward when they put it onto a cart to be towed away somewhere else. A breath of air as he nods to the worker who hated him ever since Payne got a job lifting heavy things with the lumberjacks. Who cares anymore, all he can do is ignore them with a smile as he moves under the shade of a tree with an apple in his hand.

Crunch goes the apple as the sky flickers a pretty blue covered by the green canopies of trees that rise to the sky above. Things have changed over the years. Fears that have become nothing more than a memory of being a young boy. Bullying that died down slightly in their new age as worries of life began to fill their heads. No one wanted to end up like Raven Sayer in their lives, a boy who got so close, but died to an ideal. No one wants to be a pawn in the game of life or death, so instead, they build careers to hide the worries deep in their hearts. All he knew was that things were changing and life was moving forward. A lovely job was on the horizon for him in District Seven, perfect for a lumberjack boy who didn't know how to defend himself.

Silence. A silence that echoes through his ears with the breeze that pushes his hair to the side with a gentle caress. If only life were simple for them, there would be a calm silence that befalls on them all, but dreams don't exist in their woods. A chuckle falls from his lips as he bites into his apple. A snack break is what he needed to ignore the constant voices in his head telling him to run from the pain that resides in his past. Falling in reverse to the past grievances that stick to his skin like the sap from trees. Words hurt more than broken bones and stones. The world is at his fingertips, but instead he sits under a tree with an apple looking to the workers working with blank stares and no smiles. It's dull in seven, just like the male from Ten had told Raven that Ten was dull. The world must be a dull place where the sun rises and falls with a shattering silence.

There's a moment where he's distracted from the hustle and bustle of the lumberjacks, but a moment stops as he looks up to see an unfamiliar person around the spot he was working before. A last bite of the sweet fruit as he tosses the rest to the worms in the dirt, he gets up and heads towards the unfamiliar person. A smile on his face as arms cross in a manner of curiosity and fake courage. Eyes scanning the guy for a moment before his voice finds an exit from his lips. The words mix with the air of the woods that surrounds him with a green memory of life that grows in them all. People who live a life surrounded by the biggest life source.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

[d4 Panda Scope [Gayton]]

The mood in district seven felt odd. Jacinta brought home a long awaited victory for District Seven. The year after, we had both our tributes in the top 8, and one made it to the finale. For awhile it was all smiles in the District, until Raven's death. It's like it jerked our morale back to before the 77th. 

Even grandfather seemed upset, and he didn't spend a lot of time with emotion, but he spent more time worrying than thinking about where I was, which meant that after school I could get away with not going straight home. He might not notice.

It might have been extreme naivety to think if Grandfather wasn't notice me, my father would. I wanted to at least see him, to give him the opportunity to talk to me again. But since he'd been avoiding me, I wasn't for sure where he'd be at this point.

Still clinging to the idea that my father was a lumberjack, I followed a group of them into the woods, scanning each tree for him.

Axes flew into trees, and sweaty men poured their muscles into throwing the wood into carts. I almost started to lose track of my search due to being mesmerized by the constant effort, and the only sounds being grunts and birds. Never complaints.

I was snapped back to my senses when a boy, sweaty as the rest of them, approached me, smiling. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

I stuttered. I didn't know what to tell him, I didn't know what he wanted to hear. "Nothing. Um. I-I'm not... I'm looking. For- someone." words feel like anchors clammed up in my throat, so when they come out, I should feel freed. But they never do illustrate what I really mean, so I chain myself back up, and let the anchor pull me down, down, and down. 

And in front of the smiling boy, who just asked an innocent question, I was drowning, and I couldn't tell him to save me.