young blood \\ violet x andy jb!blitz

[[nyte]]

   

violet

   

I love him. Desperation runs my throat raw and I could feel their eyes upon my skin, their hands upon my throat. I'm dying, drowning, reaching up for his hand but in his eyes I can make out nothing other than indifference. I didn't understand, not until now, that we became strangers that day.

The tributes are led away and although the fingers tangled in the collar of my shirt are too large to be his, I cannot help but hope they are. Hope that I will turn to find the same lazy smile pressed to his lips. Or perhaps that I will wake any instant with his head tucked into my chest, early so that I may run my fingers through his hair and watch the sun claw its way out of the horizon.

It's not Andy. I know that the moment my feet leave the ground. I know better than to struggle when he takes me. Somewhere quiet, void of anything but his heavy breathing. No prying eyes, no wandering ears. My Father stands before me, a deity in his own right. Gone scarlet to the tips of his ears and I can smell the whiskey on his breath. Pungent, decayed. Lips pursed, glued together by incoherent rage but all he needs to say is laid with his knuckles upon my cheek.

(I knew it. I knew it. I knew what you were all along.)

Again. Again. Again.

It feels good.

My knees bleed when they hit the dirt.

And that feels good too.

Drunk off of despair, there is only a gentle throbbing in my temple when I manage to stand. There's no telling how bad I look, if redness has crept into the indentations left by a loving god. My father is nowhere to be found, although its clear what this meant. Come home and you'll end up like her.

I was a fool not to realize sooner that I am completely and utterly alone. With blood crawling down my lips, filling my mouth and congealing upon the ground in thick, black droplets. I was a fool not to see who I always was. Pathetic. Desperate. Too busy looking out for myself to care that others were getting hurt too.

Too selfish to stay away.

So I go to him. Stumbling into the room aware of nothing other than my hands in his hair. Feeling what was never mine. Imagining that we are we again and that he cares. That he ever did. Because I don't think I know.

And I kiss the stranger stood in front of me because goodbye tastes bitter upon my broken tongue.

surrender my
everything 'cause
you made me believe
you're mine
⋆

[gamemaker kelsier]

my lips taste sweet, slick and odd on my tongue. Blood. I’m bleeding, i must have bit my lip.

The room they’ve left me in mutes the outside world but I hear it in pieces outside my window. I can hear people yelling for each other in the street, joyful cries of celebration because it’s another year that they won’t face death. I took the fall for them. The festivities have already begun and drums pound out a steady rhythm across the district.

I slide down the wood-panelled wall beneath the window, eyes on the door, ears straining to hear. My parents won’t come. I doubt they’ve even realized I’ve been reaped yet. But Violet.

It takes me a moment to understand that the pounding I’ve been hearing is my own heart inside my chest. Violet’s face is clear and there in my mind, twisted in anguish and yelling for me across the square.

”I love him!”

But he always told me he could never come out, his dad would kill him.

Maybe he’s dead.

Not fair. I was going first.

When the door swings open however long later I feel some sort of relief from it all, like an arrow piercing my chest and letting out all the air. There he was, bruised and bloody but mine. I know I must still be high because it feels like there is no time in between the moment he sees me and the very second that his lips are against mine and his hands are in my hair, on my face and my waist, holding me, claiming me.

Yes. I’m yours, Violet.

I love you too.

I curl my fingers up in his shirt, damp from his own blood and press my face into him, breathing his scent in of wool and salt, locking it away as if to hold it forever in my head.

”Hello,” I whisper against his chest.

Goodbye.

[dars]

[[nyte]]

   

violet

   

He tastes like smoke. Familiar. Tearing me to pieces and the way he shatters within my arms is breathtaking. Hello. How long has it been? Weeks? Months? I can't remember the last time I felt like this. Totally and utterly alive, heart beating steady and strong. Every kiss is an adrenaline rush, hurried bites of forbidden fruit and before I know it I've stuffed my cheeks with gold. He's gold. Molten. Burning. Looking at him hurts.

"Baby." Soft, whispered into his hair and when I rest my chin atop his head there's tears on my cheeks; I couldn't really tell you how they got there. And I'm trying so hard to keep my breathing even. To pretend like I always have. That I am strong, that I will be okay. There's nothing more to do, after all, he's leaving and I cannot stop him.

The sobs come nonetheless, echoing about my chest and crawling down my spine. Agonizing in their sincerity. Strength is idiocy dressed up in diamonds and every breath I take is slow and shaky.

But for the first time I am here. Completely here. Walls torn to rubble, hands blistered and bones broken. There's not a word for this pain. The world is burning and I want nothing more than to die here. Alongside him. I want nothing more than to wake up on the beach with sand between my teeth and his body pressed to mine.

"Wherever you go, Andy, I'll follow you."

And I kiss him again.

Because this might be the last time.

surrender my
everything 'cause
you made me believe
you're mine
⋆