stars collide [mattio]

[ryan]

I see lights crack across the sky, and there beautiful.

Nothing is like it seems here, and while I might not know what it will be like in the arena, I do know that anything is better than being at home.

Away from the people that never cared for me.

Singled out from the ones that never knew what it meant to be chained up by someone like my mother.

Stitching things together like my namesake told, but never really feeling like that named belong to me.

I was never the boy who could hold things together. Many times I lashed out against the people I did like because I always felt like I was being led into a trap.

That if someone got to see the vulnerable side of me, their grip would latch onto me, and I would never be able to leave like I had planned to do the day of the reaping.

I hated everything about this situation. To the point that I was tempted to make a break for it, but I knew that I would be found.

After all, there was no way for me to run and hide in a place like eight.

---

and so I took the first opportunity that I could in order to find somewhere that could bring me a little solace.

They wanted to talk to me more. To tell me about what to expect in the games. To work with people that I felt like I could trust, but little did they know.

I don’t trust anyone.

Not easily at the least.

It took years for me to realize that people were not evil. That there was more to life then being locked up in a room for no one to see. To be made to work for my mother while she went out and paraded my work across the district calling it her own.

I took a little satisfaction in that. She wouldn’t be able to use my work for her gain anymore. Well, not until I died. Then she could make it seem like my work is a rare commodity that no one will be able to get ever again.

And that is why I needed to make sure I won, because now, she could own me forever. The last thing that I ever wanted her to do.

---

I took the elevator up to the top floor, not caring about whatever was going on around me. My goal was to jimmy a lock open and get to the roof after all.

The stars were the only place where I felt like home.

I tried to avoid the suite and the people that were in it, and I found the door that I was looking for.

I decided to push it, figuring that it would be locked.

To my surprise though, it flew open, and I was met with a gentle breeze that I never thought I would feel in my life time.

The night over the capitol was beautiful, and as much as I hated the fact that I had to fight for my life, I could at least enjoy this site before I died.

I didn’t have much hope after all.

---

I perched myself up against the wall, looking up at the sky as the night enveloped me.

It was a truly beautiful sight. One that I would never forget for as long as I live.

I wondered what the other were doing right now. While I didn’t see much of my family, I still wondered if they were thinking about me.

I wondered if anyone was thinking about me actually.

I hugged my legs against my chest and watched the stars fall along the skyline, wondering if I would ever find out where they landed.

[mat]

The atrocious fashion and eye piercing color palettes of the Capitol left Gabriel in a confused state. They wore loud hats, danced to unfortunate music, ate foreign foods, and represented a style and color that was out of his comfort zone. And so when he arrived in the Capitol, his first instinct was to hide away from them. They were not his style of people, and they did not represent the types of people Gabriel lived with and saw daily in District Twelve: the poor, the hungry, and the just-getting-by.

But if there was one thing that the Capitol got right compared to District Twelve, it was their choice in location.

The sky, at any time past nine at night, was dull in District Twelve. Perhaps the angle of Twelve just never allowed for many of the little dots in the hazy blue sky to shine their brightest. But in the Capitol, where everything feels, tastes, smells, and sounds like a Wonderland, the sky seems to treat the Capitol much more fairly, just like the luck that whatever upper power possesses brings down upon the Capitol and its favorites.

From his own window view, Gabriel barely got enough of the sky, even if they were one floor from the top. There’s so much that he felt was missing above him, where the stars would gather most directly overhead. He could really only see in one direction, and although the stars felt abundant already, he wanted more.

After years of having less and feeling hungry nine days out of ten, he did not feel it out of greed, but rather that the powers above left him out of their fortune. Now that he has the potential to witness some for a few days, Gabriel believed himself to be entitled to see the sky and the magic that it holds light years away.

The lights were heavily dimmed when he left his bedroom. It must’ve been late, because even the escort was either sound asleep or still out in their parties, either of which past Gabriel’s expected time to sleep. Outside of the floor for the District Twelve ‘Team’ laid only one thing: an elevator. He stepped inside and clicked the highest number and let his body rise.

When he got to the top and the elevator opened, the door to the outside world was already perched slightly opened. It didn’t surprise Gabriel too much, given the twenty-four tributes only have a few more days to experience what the real world has to offer. Whatever artificial place they brought the tributes into world surely couldn’t hold the real treasures that this night’s sky led tonight.

Gabriel slowly pushed the door open in attempt to avoid a large commotion. In the corner of the room was a boy- a man, more likely, larger and probably older than Gabriel himself. He was afraid to speak at first, mostly because he didn’t want a sour reaction. But he took a deep breath, and opened his mouth.

“You like the stars’ beauty here, too?”

[ryan]

Back against the wall, I realized that there would never be a regular night for me once I entered that arena.

That everything that happened from here on out would never make me the same person that I entered this place at.

I was a caterpillar, about to turn into a war raged butterfly as I entered the arena and tried to survive.

Survive was my only goal.

But that didn’t mean I wanted to lose myself in all of that.

I made simple requests to have a sewing kit with me while I was here, and my escort simply looked at me and told me that I would have to wait on that.

But they would see what they could do.

---

and I wondered what it was like for the Moon’s to come here.

Two in a row until I broke the chain.

They were spared this time from the pain of losing another child, but the feeling was not the same.

I would not be spared so easily.

There were people here that trained their whole life to be able to participate in such a game.

There were people whose wills were strong, and they told themselves that they would win no matter what.

And then there was me, a boy who wanted his freedom more than anything, who could reach for the skies and pull out the constellations themselves and make them his friends.

I didn’t have many of those, and while there were a couple people that cared for me back home, I always felt more comfortable in the stars.

I never hung around the right group of people, as much as I wanted to find a group of people that I belonged too, I never would, simply because it wasn’t in my blood.

My blood was black, with a touch of blue for the bruises that my mother lashed onto me as I tried to find my own way of life.

There was never a choice for me because I was just too talented to let go, and even now, I don’t know how to live on my own because I am used to the darkness that she roped me into.

And while I am happy that I now have a chance to show people that I can in fact take my life into my own two hands, I feel like I would drop it in front of everyone, watching it shatter into mirror shards that I couldn’t count.

An infinite amount of years bad luck.

---

And so I looked to Sagittarius for guidance, even though I knew way too well that there would be nothing that they could do to offer me comfort.

Virgo sometimes came out from left field to offer a word or two of their wisdom, but then I always remember that a Virgo’s wisdom was always double edged. If I followed it, I knew that I would fall to my ruin, and there was no way for me to pull myself back from it.

This is why I found my home in places like Sagittarius and Leo. Because fire was always in my blood, and while it might have been brash advice, it was something that I could agree with.

A dogma that I could chant from the roof and not even care about what happened as consequences.

A chance to be free and do what I need to do to survive.

No one was going to dictate that for me.

Except for myself.

---

and then I heard a door open, and for once I felt like my body was naked even though I could feel the clothes on my very back.

I could feel each fiber of the shirt, telling me that this was my chance to run away because that was all I knew how to do.

Running was easy, and staying would be the war that I could never face head on because I was not someone who was brave.

However, I continued to sit there, wondering if the person that was about to walk in on my personal time was about to add something that I never thought could be possible.

Or if I was about to be ripped away from one of the only freedoms I thought I would ever have.

---

and then he spoke, before I even got a look at his face.

I was confused only if for a moment, because the sound of his voice, I could tell that there was already similarity between us.

That there was something wrong with his life too.

That he was taking his life back, even though he would have to fight in order to win it.

He didn’t seem it, but I could sense it from him.

”It’s the only thing I feel like I have left here.” My mouth spat out words before I could even think.

It echoed chants and prayers about things I wished I had left to myself, but soon enough, I knew they would be stolen too.

”They make me feel like I am home once more. Even though this place will never feel like home.” I hugged my legs closer and squeezed until I could feel the blood rushing through them.

I wasn’t even sure if I was alive anymore at this point.

---

And when I got a look of the boys face, I realized that he was just as lost as I was.

His eyes told me a story that I wanted to know, because at the end of the day, I wondered how similar they were to each other.

Were we both falling stars from space that crashed into the atmosphere?

Were we both people who didn’t exactly trust others around us?

Were we both lost?

Those were the questions that shot through my head as I realized that this might have been my moment to let someone in.

After all, I knew that we didn’t have much time left in the living world.

And that this was going to be our chance to feel like the stars in the sky.

”Would you like to join me?” I asked, my hand falling to the spot right next to me. ”Orion looks beautiful from this exact spot after all.”

---

As much as I didn’t want to let anyone in, I knew that there would be no harm in it.

Because at the end of the day, I had already smacked into the atmosphere. Shards of me sprinkling around the earth in all of its glory.

I spent years trying to find every piece that made me the person that I am, but to my surprise, some were hidden in places that I never felt like I could reach.

And so maybe this boy could help me find all of the pieces.

Every single one.

[mat]

The man had a very defined face an eyes the almost seemed to shine, despite the sun hiding in the depths and the moon barely giving the ground much light. His response came quickly, almost without much thought.

{”It’s the only thing I feel like I have left here. They make me feel like I am home once more. Even though this place will never feel like home.”}

The place of peace and tranquility was, to this man at least, the only thing in the entire Capitol that gave any resemblance of what home really was. Gabriel always believed that comfort and serenity were gifts rarely received by everyday people. Instead, you had to work night and day to achieve it and pray to anything and everything that when you wake up each morning, the calm waters remain for the next day.

He felt their eyes lock onto each other’s and almost immediately Gabriel felt like it was wrong. Wrong to stay up in the rooftop with a fellow tribute. What if the world was watching, what if his birth parents or the Laws’ were watching? Could they even watch at all? Gabriel didn’t want to show weakness or disappoint anyone for his actions, however big or small they would be.

{“Would you like to join me? Orion looks beautiful from this exact spot after all..”}

Had Gabriel any idea of what Orion was, other than a savage tribute from District Two’s past, he might not have been tempted to stay. But he looked at the stars, a real treat that outer space has given us due to an eternity in a hell-like earthly world.

His voice was cracked and very unsteady, mostly for the fact that he didn’t know if he truly wanted to stay or not. The stars were the forbidden fruit of the rooftop, however, and curiosity always tells oneself to bite into the forbidden fruit and not look back.

“I guess, but I’m not an asteralology kind of guy,” he said. Butchered the one word, but Gabriel went next to the man anyways. He knew nothing fancy about the stars, other than that they were scarce in District Twelve but clearly abundant here.

When he sat against the concrete wall, he bumped into the man’s arm. He backed off a little, pushing himself a few inches away. He was mistrustful, so he kept his distance.

”I’m Gabriel, by the way.”

[ryan]

Breathing in the capitol air was something that I never thought I would do again. Yet, here I was, sitting on top of the roof the apartment building looking across the sky in all of its beauty.

There was something calming about it, almost to the point where I could accept the fact that this could be the last time I see the world like this.

In all of its splendor and wonder.

I tried so hard to hate this world, but I realized that I hated my mother. Not the world that housed me, and I hated this nation, and everything that it stood for.

But through all of the hate, the view in front of me shadowed all of that.

Instead, the only thing I could feel was an immense love for everything simple in my life.

A life full of hatred and sadness all wiped away because of one beautiful night sky.

Only if it was this easy to forget.

Then I wouldn’t have wanted to run away a couple days ago.

I could have made my relationship with my mother work, and we could have lived in some sort of harmony that only made sense to us.

And that was okay, but it didn’t need to make sense to anyone else, as much as we could have wanted it too.

We were different people, who wanted the same thing after all.

To survive.

To cling onto the things that we knew because living in a commonplace was comfortable.

We didn’t strive to be different people because we needed too, or we had too, but because at the end of the day, we both knew that we would fall into repeat.

Just as the sun rose and set in the same amount of time everyday.

We were canonical to the tee.

---

And so realizing that this was my time to try to live as myself, I realized that there was pretty much nothing I could do to make anything up to the people that I left behind.

Stitch Gabel was a man that was scared of trying to live for himself, and I hated Stitch Gabel for that reason.

But this was not the time for me to throw a pity party, because of people like Jaime Bowman, who cried during my reaping, screaming how it was not fair that I was chosen this year and not any other year.

There was nothing I could do that about that.

It was time for me to meet my maker, and I wish I got the time to say that to him, but I whisked away quicker than I could blink.

Soon to the train, meeting Shelby Levaine again, meeting my district partner and being told that I could enjoy everything that the capitol had to offer for the next week or so.

None of it made sense, and I knew that they didn’t want it to make sense. The last time I was here, it was the same thing, enjoy what you could before you had to go back to your lives.

But I couldn’t do that. No. I didn’t want to do that.

I wanted to use this time to find the one thing that I had been missing my whole life.

A sense of freedom.

I use to fight for it, but after years and years of being bogged down by things that I could never control, I realized that there was no such thing to be found in the Gabel household.

I wished the world for my siblings, and hope that my passing would ignite their fire to rebel against my mother.

But I knew that it would be up to them to execute such a cacophonous war. So much that it would have to shake the district to its core.

But I knew that it would take time. Time that they didn’t have to spare.

Time that was stolen by the very woman that they all hated so much.

But when I said my goodbye, I told them not to worry about me, that I would fight to come home, but not for them.

For me.

---

At the end of the day, I could only worry about me.

And maybe the boy that was joining me on the rooftop for a star show that we did not owe for.

Because we were already paying for it with our lives.

He seemed like he was afraid of his own shadow, and I wanted to laugh because I could relate to that more than he probably knew.

I too used to be the boy who did trust anyone.

And maybe he wasn’t trying to make it apparent, but I could tell there was something more here.

That there were scars that I could not see.

Beautiful, invisible ink smeared along his arms and body in some pattern that I would never be able to see because being able to decipher a map of the body would prove to take too long in their time here.

But I knew that was okay.

We would be dead before dawn.

”Astrology is something that you do not need to know. Just something that you need to feel.” I told him as he slinked down next to me, his arm slightly brushing mine.

I didn’t even flinch.

My eyes didn’t want to move from the sky, which captivated me as Capricorn moved through effortlessly, just enough to get a good glimpse at the little dipper.

I wondered if this was the real sky, or just something put on for any of the tributes who dared to break the rules and hide on the roof of the building.

It wasn’t like I was trying to hide. No. I was trying find anything that reminded me of home.

”Stitch.” I told him, my hand extending out into a formal handshake.

It might have not been the best thing to offer someone who seemed skittish, but I was raised in a world where introductions were everything.

And I wasn’t going to forget that..