star light star bright {elegant}

[Knuckles]

should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
we saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
there are things that we can have, but can't keep

It was late. The stars and moon danced high in the sky, and Zeke found himself on the roof, lying on his back watching them. Sometimes it offered him an escape, but right now it was more of reflecting. Before his sister died, Zeke enjoyed spending time with her, and one of his favorite moments was lying on his back in the front yard staring at the stars above.

Sometimes he wondered if they could hear him. His mom and sister.

Zeke didn't know what to believe anymore. So many times he heard stories about a world beyond the sky where everything was peaceful. No worries existed there, yet he found himself wondering if it was real. The world he lived in now was hell. It was a place he didn't want to be anymore.

But he thought of his father. The man he loved more than anyone in the world. The man he had been with since Haley died. Right now they were thousands of miles away, and yet Zeke still felt his warm embrace and the tears his father shed.

Sometimes he wondered if it was even worth it. If it was worth saving the lives of those back in district six. Was it worth trying to be a man that made his mother and father proud? Was it worth fighting and killing people?

Was it worth trying to keep himself alive?

The answer was an easy one. Leaving his father alone wasn't an option which was why he wanted to take this time to just relax and clear his mind. It was hard to even think of a way to make it through this, but maybe, just maybe Zeke could take it one day at a time, and only live in that moment instead of looking to the future.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

It would be easy to just fall asleep. Nobody was around to bother him. Nobody to ask him questions about his plan for the game. Nobody to stand in his way when all he wanted to do was take a moment to just sit back and relax. It almost reminds him of home, but it wasn't home, and his father wasn't there to make sure nobody disturbed him during the early hours once he returned home from a midnight shift.

And it was hard to sleep at night because he was so used to sleeping during the day.

But maybe tonight was the night everything changed. Maybe he would fall asleep, and sleep without any cares in the world. Maybe his family would visit him in a dream and let him know it would all be okay, but in the depths of his heart, Zeke knew that was simply a lie. Nothing would ever be okay. Because either he would die, or he would become a killer who only saw the tributes as patients he left to die.

He sighed and looked into the sky; "I just hope I make you both proud." And then he closed his eyes hoping for a chance to relax, and a chance to remain completely oblivious to the world around him.

Table by Calla <3

[gamemaker kelsier]

[presto][/presto]

a n d ú r i l .

"you won’t sleep
until you
sign on
the dotted line"

”Do you think that there’s a force field on the roof?” I ask the same Avox girl I’d befriended earlier.

”I bet people try to jump off all of the time.”

Seems that you really can get absolutely anything you want here because all I had to do is ask my escort and the next morning there were buds sitting on my bathroom counter, placed neatly beside the grinder I’d brought with me from Four.

I roll a joint as I learn beside the girl, licking the paper gently.

”I’d show you four if I could, you know.”

But we both know this friendship is forced, we both know it ends when I leave. Despite the fact that she probably doesn’t care for me, I’m glad there’s someone to talk to in here. Someone like me somehow. Vastly different, but the same, trapped and rotten on the inside. Maybe.

”See ya.”

I get in the elevator and take it to the roof, pressing all the buttons lazily when I step out. I’m not trying to be an asshole, I just don’t want anyone knowing where I’ve gone. It’s force of habit to hide myself after years of bullying, I don’t even recognize it anymore when I’m doing it. I think about Violet, telling me to show some goddamned emotion for once. He couldn’t read that I was shocked that he said that. I thought I’d been loving him pretty openly.

I light the joint carefully in the wind, sucking in the smoke like oxygen and exhale relief, all of the anxieties and and thoughts I’d been stowing away these past couple days burning up with each drag. I’d never meant to self-medicate, it’d all just kind of happened.

The edge of the roof beckons me and I can see the city’s lights burning just over the ledge. I go to it and swing a leg over, peering into a long drop. Vehicles move quickly below and the city is still so awake for the evening. Would they even stop and notice the tribute from Four landing with a splat on the cement so far below?

Would I even stay in one piece for that?

Would it hurt?

I swing my other leg over and stuff my hands into my pockets, cold calculations working their way through my head.

If Violet were here, he’d wrap his stupid big arms around me from behind and tug me back gently, soft words in my ear and so fucking safe.

I miss him.

I drop ash over the ledge and watch it soar away in the wind. I scoot forward slightly, reactions on my ledge. One little shove from behind and I’d be a goner, assuming there’s nothing in place to catch my fall. I can’t decide if I want to test it or not, if it’s worth it.

I stand up slowly, balancing carefully, toes over the edge.

Do I dare?

[Knuckles]

should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
we saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
there are things that we can have, but can't keep

A small gust of wind ruffled his hair, but the sound was lost in the sound of those gathered below chanting and praising all the festivities currently taking place. Yet in that moment none of it mattered. Outstretched arms folded behind his head, and Zeke focused on the stars above. Just being here out in the open reminded him of home, and all the times he'd rest outside after a hard day at work with his sister. Lying around on the dead grass telling stories. Laughing. Just being the children they deserved to be. And now it was taken from them.Haley lived with the stars, and Zeke would soon shine brightly with her.

The roof wasn't the most comfortable place to rest in the world, but it was peaceful. Other tributes weren't running around. Nobody stood in his way, and for the first time Zeke was alone.

But soon it all changed.

Smoke reached his nostrils, and he turned to his side, and for the time being he didn't move or say a word. Instead, he watched the other guy walking around. Perhaps it was best to just leave him alone. Stepping into someone else's business wasn't for him. Father always said to leave people alone. To just let them do their own thing. It was the right thing to do until he noticed the male creeping closer and closer to the ledge.

Rumors had it that a forcefield wrapped around the edge of the roof preventing tributes from jumping, but knowing if it was true was a different story, and truthfully, Zeke didn't have any desire to find out. The idea of watching this man test out that theory didn't bode well with him. It bothered him, yet he still wasn't sure what to say or what to do. On one hand it was one less tribute to fight inside the arena, but on the other, he didn't have it in him to sit back and watch something like this happen. He sighed, pulling himself to his feet and started towards him. What was once a silent night resting beneath the twinkling stars turned into one from what could easily become a nightmare.

Sometimes coming up with the right words to say proved difficult. They ended up stuck on his tongue twisted together. More than often the words became a jumbled mess as they left his lips. Yet he thought of the times standing in the middle of a hospital room talking to those who just lost someone they loved. A quiet, calm demeanor helped everything.

Would it help now?

Pausing just a few feet behind him, Zeke drew a breath; "It's definitely a nice view, don't you think?" The world stopped moving, and for a moment he wondered if the wind and crowd would carry his voice away.

Table by Calla <3