salt to the sea — angel's.

[napoleon, d2m ₊⊹ 🐁 ɢʀɪғғɪɴ.]

I'll miss the life time of insanity
I'll give my poetry to charity
'Cause I can't afford to smile

There’s no hesitation to my spear’s bite like there is no hesitation to Anatalia’s dagger. It soars, the silver, through a spray of saltwater and tide, and I count the seconds it takes before the shard discovers a home. I don’t move, paralyzed by some guilty conscience, roots extending from my dirtied shoes to the bedrock below, and a one, a two, and a three goes before darkness and shadows eclipse half of this broken world.

Always, I had thought, that death would be agonizing. Writhing of limbs, a gasp for breath, an ache of the heart. But, there’s nothing except for the static noise and the sea. Hollow. Disappointing. The tides become rhythmic as the heartbeats jar and this song of clashing opposites become the symphony of a dying angel – holy but discordant, seamless yet broken. The sea, it wanes, and the blood, it waxes, sacrificing itself to the water, spreading, spreading more than the sea, spreading as wide as the steadfast constellations above. Blue stained by the red of an angel’s blood; beautiful but grotesque, life-giving and taking all at once.

The whole of my existence flashes before darkness reigns forever, and all I see is hedonism, chasing smoke and mirrors, but regret is nowhere to be found. I’ve lived, and even though I crave for more life, I am content with what I have done and now ceased to do. The puzzle’s far from a conclusion, but is it worth amalgamating the pieces if I had seen the picture intact already?

Creatures emerge from their burrows and shells, marching towards the dead. They herd the sallow physique out to the sea, afloat, like a makeshift current of some sort. And, from the canyon of clouds, rise the sun – coloring each dull trinket brighter, bathing each inch of skin in gold; it’s the radiance after the storm

– so soft, so prismatic.

Beautiful angel, with brown locks silvered by the wandering tide to a halo, exhales tenderly. All the spaces I've hidden in diffuse into the saltwater as my blood does – and I become salt to the sea, an extension of the water.

I understand the end.
As the foam grasps the skin of my throat and plunges down the lungs, I understand.
And I do not mind, because infinity is worth sacrificing everything for.

This seaward heart becomes a stone, sinks, and all that lingers is the advance and the withdrawal of waves. The angel wings I've stitched to my own back withers and for once, I am as human as the rest, neither holy nor burdened with sin. All the scriptures and the psalms and the altars handcrafted at my feet are carried by the cleansing tides.

I smile, speak, and dissolve.

The ether's breath, I can feel, is warm.

“I'm coming home.”

Because we never changed
the locks my dear
In too much space we hide
In both ways I apologize


[ lyrics : i apologize — moss ]

Gosh. Here's a simple sentence: I am so emotional. Less because Angel died and more because these Games had been an extremely surreal experience.

From start to finish, it'd been a roller-coaster of emotions and I want to begin these credits by being a massive cliche and thanking everyone who was involved in it, from the tributes and the gamemakers, to the spectators who sent countless 's.

The difference between Raven Sayer and Angel De Costa, is how the latter is hauntingly similar to me. It was nice to have a character that I knew how to handle perfectly because the words came organically and seamlessly.

I never had to force through a writer's block with Angel. This death post is quite different from the 1258 words I wrote for Raven but it feels sufficient, it feels like a full circle.

The title ‘Salt To The Sea’ is taken from Ruta Sepetys's book of the same name. But, the concept of Angel being carried out to the sea by the marine life, is inspired by a death scene in William Golding's ‘Lord of The Flies’.

CREDITS

Baby Wessex d9b [earthling] and [nyte] : Honestly, Glamour is the gayest and Vepar also but you both are the best. Thank you for the wonderful arena and the destruction and the feels even though you're still keeping us hostage by not revealing the twist !!! 

d6a georgie cham 🍓🐢 frankel : One of the greatest things I've ever done was asking you to ally with me. Parson and Angel will always have a special place in my weak heart. Also, we did a boatload of dialogue that I am so, so proud. You're the best.

ryan  : I'd say it's 1-1 for us both now fefewwf. Anatalia was beautiful and you made that happen. Our 1 v 1 fights are and always will be iconic. Thank you for being such a wonderful ally and taking care of Angel, both in character and out of character. 

thompson harvard - d2b - arc : Hell Mo was SO iconic and the sassest. Also, she's like my favorite character ever. I remember being a newbie and scrolling through the characters when I saw her name - which immediately intrigued me. You're both a precious ally and a friend.

shrimp : Bette and Angel's connection, albeit unexpected, was what I needed these Games. She gave him so much development just as you gave her so much life with that amazing, breathtaking prose. I could read your writing forever, to be honest.

umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] : Hello, kitty girl daddy. What made these Games better was you being Angel's and my mentor. I love you so much, for all the good lucks and the tables and for just cheering me up whenever. Also, I expect an onslaught of feels from Mackenzie, thank you very much.

eulalie blake 1a 🍒 tris : I can't believe you managed to kill me WITHOUT a tribute fgdses. Only kings can do that. You're pampered beautiful, valid, such a phenomenal writer with a KILLER prose, and I adore anything you do, honestly. Can't wait for Marley's reaction !!

Tom : Do you know that you're like the greatest, ever??? Would not have survived without that ship and your constant advice in the 78th and would not have survived without your support and words of encouragement throughout these Games. Carter was beautiful.

@fabulousraven : The biggest queen of defying odds. You got reaped with like 3 characters and then went solo for six days, um? Iconic? I love you so much and lorenzo, my pup.

L△LIA and aya : You two, I couldn't separate. The 80th would have been missing something if it weren't for Denali, Lex and the RSL Trolley Problem. I am still crying in the most ugly way about their fight, bye.

alex 🐺 : Thank you for rooting for Angel and being like the BEST finale partner in the 78th and being an all-round amazing person and for your constant kind words.

tick 12a / calla : !!! I !!! love !!! you !!! Never stop being my fellow Kermit. You're best and even if you were busy, you never failed to wish me good luck and send me memes. If that isn't the behavior of a legend, I don't know what is.

lance : I feel so basic saying this but thank you for all the puns and for being a part of the twink army.

kousei ♚ : You're a great lad and just your sheer spirit and occasional appearances on Slack keeps me going onward. 

Python : Was highkey happy when I saw that you were reaped because a Python tribute never, never disappoints.

To everyone else, whose characters Angel might have or might have encountered, you're all amazing for breathing life into these wonderful batch of tributes ! I am exhausted right now but I will try to add on to this list later. To those I missed out, I apologize - and just know that everyone on this site is a massive skinny legend.

Also, thank you Ripred for another district seven !! These credits are messy but I am too.