I got 99 problems and impulses buys ain't one // Recents

[Arrows]

Catch Me Out Here, Joyfully Sobbing

:jobbing:

Blood has turned to technology as suddenly inception strikes. Screens upon screens surround us and soon I am drawn to a display with phones. My heart, I think I have a heart, begins to thunder as I turn it on and open the messages. That's when I see it, inside slack another world of emojis. I have become an emoji using other emojis, could someone be using me right now?

"Hey all, look! It's.. it's us."

:jobbing: grabs a cell phone and opens slacks

[Cato]

I go for a stroll on my cart and shout "Beep beep!"

[Azalea]

wig: an evolutionised word

It's tiring being a famous wig. Oh wig... I'm famous!

Morning comes and I have evolved and restyled. I believe that in the industry it is referred to as artistic growth, which yes, I have achieved because I am now an artist. My last single? Snatched wigs across the continent, a feat which is difficult to achieve and not everybody is able to do. I have great integrity, I am expensive and I am a star.

I pick up my walkie talkie and hope to tune in to my good friend Whistle, who I hope is having a good day. "Whistle, are you there?" The two of us are stars! Well, I can only speak for myself because I don't know what Whistle has achieved considering we only met yesterday and got drunk on some vodka. Does she have a star on the Wig Walk of Fame? I don't know... it's difficult to achieve and not everybody is able to do it. I have though! Wig!

Standing beside jobbing - jobbing! What a beautiful name! We look at some screens and it makes me feel dry and synthetic, but in reality, I am completely human. 

"The one that looks like me is pretty hot! I want to meet her, I just know we'd be best friends!" Wig, best friends. That's snatch-worthy.

[arctic]

wEaRy

i didn't know mirrors were so small. i don't even know how that dude is holding them, we don't even have hands. the bright screens in front of us surely held our faces, and damn, i look just as uncomfortable as normal. is he using the force to hold that up?

"bro....
not to be like, weary about things,
but how are you holding that?"

[Arrows]

Catch Me Out Here, Joyfully Sobbing

:jobbing:

Soon the others are by my side, aside from spongebob who is carting around beeping. Surely enough inside the phone is an entire other existence of emojis. Wig comments on the identical version to itself and suddenly I'm laughing soon sending tears from my eyes, it is pretty funny. The laughter soon stops though spurred by the words of weary. I have no idea how I'm holding this phone, we don't have arms!

"I guess we can levitate things?"

The short confusion passes and a new idea races into my head. Using slack I find it, the perfect emoji, angry_howdy. Still as beautiful as ever. In a matter of seconds I'm blushing as easily as any blush emoji there has ever been.

I shake my head. Gotta stay in the game.

"I think your counter part is great wig!"

[Cato]

runs behind the shopping cart pushing it as fast as possble. At the last second, I jump in, and send it spiraling out of control. I give a battle cry at the top of my lungs. I am hear me roar!

[Azalea]

wig: an evolutionised word

Wig.. my counterpart really is great. Jobbing was right, it looks amazing! What a talent! "Yours look great too, what a gorgeous collection of pixels!"

Of course we don't have hands or arms, is Jobbing okay? We're little emojis. Well, actually I'm a superstar wig but I don't want to brag because that wouldn't be very nice. And I'm very blessed, grateful and humble to be the best-selling wig of all time in the history of the universe... a title which only I hold! Poor others!

Anyway, who needs arms anyway? All you need to be successful is determination and a flawless body which I definitely have! You know what? There's no better way than to document this moment than to use that fancy digital camera I got earlier to take a photo. How I'm taking it really doesn't matter, but I'm certain this picture will get millions of likes and pretty much break the internet. Wow, wig indeed. My mind! How powerful! WIG!!!!

I hold the camera up and face it back on us before instructing that everyone "say snatch!" so that we all have great smiles. The picture loads out immediately and it is just a collection of our emoji selves - Jobbing is jobbing, Weary is weary and Caveman Spongebob is well... caveman spongebob.

But we look good! Hello, wig, let's celebrate that!

[arctic]

"say wig!"

i'm shook by the demand for a second, but i play along with the queen.

"okay, wig."

the picture comes out, we look snatched. who's shocked. wig's edges, per requirement, are perfect as ever. we're a cute little group, the caveman, the laughing-crying dude, the furby with a wig and ever worrisome handless man.