guided by a beating heart {Faux/Harb}

[Knuckles]

Just being in a world where nobody cares is difficult. It's like the trees sitting in the forest vanishing in the blink of an eye as the train flies by. They're forgotten. Left to defend themselves without anyone changing their way of life. Some grow tall while others remain small, and in this moment, Faux is the smallest of them all. Harbinger hasn't spoken a word to him, and it hurts. A broken heart is worse than the pain he's felt this entire time. One can't possibly understand what's running through his brother's mind, but living in this moment, experiencing the torture, the surgery, everything is worse than facing reality alone.

At least that's what he thought.

Because now he's alone in a world with only the stuffed Harbinger by his side.

Heavy eyes are glued to the window watching as the world flies by, but at the same time it's mindless thinking. A chance to escape from the harsh world he's about to be thrown into.

The letter he wrote over a week ago rests easily in the palm of his hand. Reading the words etched into the frail sheet of paper isn't easy anymore, but for his brother, Faux would try.

All he wants is for Harbinger to acknowledge it's him. That nobody stole him away. That it's not just a sick joke the Capitol is playing. That he's the real Faux Rhodes. Ironic in a way. Having a false name only takes away the hopes of ever rekindling a relationship with anyone back home.

Leaving his friends behind is a hard task within itself. Watching them go one by one until they're not even in sight anymore. How can someone make friends in such a nightmare of a world anyway? What's the purpsoe when life only steals them away? Why stand on a train and fight for one another when it doesn't matter anymore?

Being on the train heading home as a human is still hard for Faux to understand. Right now his body should be in a bag as his family prepares him for burial. But he's alive. His heart is beating frantically. Nothing makes much sense anymore - what if he's dead afterall? What if his mind is running on the memories of his life? The train to the Capitol was always a one way road, but now it's a two way, and it terrifies him more than anyone will ever know.

A heavy sigh leaves his chest as he pushes himself into a standing position.

Unsteady gait carries him from one car to another. Hopefuly eyes dart back and forth searching the cars left and right. The last several days have been spent wondering how the reunion would go, but now Faux isn't looking forward to it.

Harbinger hasn't even been around, and it leaves him lost for words as questions of doubt flow through his mind. What did he do wrong? Does Harb actually hate him?

It's not his fault.

Faux didn't choose this life - it was handed to him on a silver platter, and Faux bent down without a care in the world for another chance to live. The games stole so much away from him, but he wouldn't let it steal his brother away from him too. Harbinger needs to know the turth. To understand that he's alive. That they're going home together.

This isn't just a joke.

But how can someone change the mind of a stubborn man?

Everything ceases as Faux looks at one of the shut doors on the train. If Harbinger is inside, this is his chance. Yet it's beyond him who's actually sitting within the room. Gritting his teeth, Faux raises a hand before knocking gently a couple times. His head slouched forward as he unfolded the letter he held dear.

Hopefully someone would answer.

Hopefully that someone is his brother.

credit to Tom <3

[Noah Vau - D2 (Cato)]

Harbinger Rhodes District Eleven

I just want to get home. It's hard listening to celebrating that everyone is alive as they all talk about surviving this game. It's too good to be true. It's a trick, and nobody else believes it. I'm trying to avoid them by staying locked away in my room. It's along day, and it's only going to get longer. I've made this journey so many times since I won the games, but it's never been on a giant train. I've only left my room long enough to grab a cup of coffee and a little bit of something to eat, but since then my door has been closed and locked. I don't need any of these imposters running into my room. I don't think anyone will ever convince me Snow isn't just playing a trick on us. I know he'd do something like that because he's a fool. He's an idiot and only wants to hurt us. Forget about him wanting to do anything for the better good because now he's sunk to the lowest of lows.

Every now and then a bird flies through the sky, and I wish I could do the same. I just want to escape this place. I want out of here away from Panem. I've been living in misery since I was fifteen and Crusader died. I've lost family, and I just need a moment of peace, and I can't get it here. I can't do anything here anymore because I'm trapped. Snow knows exactly how to get under my skin, and it's really starting to piss me off. I hate him. I hate everything about that white bearded man. He needs to die. I need to kill him. Someone should assassinate him and get us all a new beginning, but everyone's too afraid, and anytime I think about crossing the line, someone who knows me comes and finds me drawing me back in. I wish people would just let me because either I'd succeed, or I'd die trying, and I'd at least join my family again.

But all my thoughts stop when someone knocks on my door. At first I don't say a word just hoping they'll get away. I don't want to talk to anyone, and I need them to simply leave me alone. Only the knocking continues, and it's frustrating. I stay seated in my chair watching the outside world. I'm not really paying attention, but I just don't care about these robotic beings the Capitol is portraying as our families. I don't get how every other victor is so accepting of it. I know better than them. I know this is a trick. I sigh as I turn from the window towards the door. "Go away. I don't want any." I hope it's just someone asking if I want food or a drink. My head drops forward as I cross my arms before turning my eyes back to the outside world. I just want some alone time until I get home to bury my brother. That's all I ask for, but people don't seem to want to give it to me.

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