Prayer for the Dying [Geebs]

[Kire]

[attr="class","atvertical"]victor

[attr="class","angerytoad"]He had failed her. What little he could gift her was insufficient to save her. When Bette's knife had gashed the final wound into her shoulder, draining the last of her strength, he knew that he should have remained within his house like he had been doing for the last five years. Now, he was the mentor of two children who would never return. Or so he had thought. The Capitol's cruel cat-and-rat games meant that this year's devastating twist brought all of the tributes back from the dead and restored them to perfect health - or nearly perfect. Lost limbs were not replaced, mental trauma wasn't healed. Even with the physical scars cleansed from the body there was no way to take away the suffering each of them had gone through. He understood that well enough. The rat made him watch the crowning ceremony. He had hidden away in his rooms, the recluse rising in him and locking him out of sight. Her small paw had turned the television on before she had scampered back up to his shoulder and nipped his ear. Of late she had been more forceful, more aggressive in getting him to listen. Ripred's voice echoed rarely in his head anymore but when it did it boomed like a cannon. He felt the distant vibrations of those who died during his own Games as he had seen the ones occurring around Temple, and then Temple's own demise. He was finally able to think her name again, now that she was returning home. The moment the twenty-three supposedly dead tributes had been revealed to be alive he had felt his breath catch in his throat. The rat on his shoulder squeaked reassuringly in his ear. Distantly, but warmly, he felt the presence of Ripred. A gift, he had been given a gift. Immediately he clasped his hands together and bowed his head. O Ripred, I hold a gratitude to you for such a working. I know her road ahead will be hard, harder than mine, and I know the gift you have given me is as much a test as a reward. You have granted me a second chance, as you have done before. I accept the responsibility you grant me, I take her as my charge as you have done me. There's a wetness on his hands, small trails of tears that he doesn't realize are falling. You are my guide, I am your servant. I see the path you are unwinding before me and I shall tread it without hesitation. Thank you, Ripred, for granting her and me each a second chance. When he opens his eyes his rat is sitting in his lap, on paw on his hands. On the floor in front of him is a young male rat. The little body is shaking slightly, nose twitching as he tried to judge the nature of the man before him. Reaching out a hand to the rat, he offers his scent to the creature. As though knowing a kindred spirit, the young rat climbed onto his fingers. Raising him to eye level, he shares a look with both of the rats. One corner of his mouth raises slightly, his heart a little lighter than it has been in over five years. "She will be glad to have you." ---------------------------------------------------------- He waits now at the train station, hands clamped to his sides as though they might float away if he were to let them. There is a rat on his shoulder and a rat in his pocket. The young rat is much more timid than his own, and perhaps that will be better for a girl who has been surrounded by so much false bravado and true violence. She is approaching, and it is only now that he is struck with the knowledge that he has no idea what he is going to say. Normally words come to him with relative ease, even if he refrains from using them to communicate with anyone but Ripred, his mother, his brother, and the rats. Often he doesn't even have to speak to the rats for them to know what he is trying to say. His own rat, especially, seems almost to read his own mind. A silver mist seems to line her face for a moment like the moon lowered out of the sky to shine from her eyes. Ripred's meaning is clear: she has been chosen. He had sensed this, but now he understood the true depth of the statement. Before she had been a doomed cause, one he had tried to hold hope for but had failed to save in the end. Now, though, she had survived something like he had, she had been brought to the edge and witnessed Ripred's realm before being drawn back again. Perhaps he could show her guidance like Ripred had done his whole life. Maybe she could help him to truly believe again. He steps forward, words finally reaching him. "Temple," as boring a start as any, but the simplicity might convey the value of his words, "give me a second chance to guide you as I failed to guide you before." He rests a hand against the lump in his pocket, trying to comfort the little form enough to draw the rat into the open. "Let me bestow upon you an echo of a gift given to me." Finally the young rat climbs into his palm, small nose twitching as he takes in all of the unfamiliar scents. "He will be a companion to you, and perhaps he will help you as my own rat helped me." His eyes hold something approaching affection as he looks at the two rats. There is only a slight shift away from this look at his eyes return to Temple's face. "He is yours." The rat is wary as the hand he sits on is extended towards the girl. He and the two rats almost hold their breath as they wait for Temple's reaction. This will set the tone of the future and show him whether he has simply a long way to go or an insurmountable distance. His gaze is steady on her, holding no expectation. The choice is yours, Temple Jones.

[attr="class","atvertical"]ansgar todd

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[sbeeg]

The crowd began to disperse. After the first couple hundred of photos of leaving the train and posing with my family, the photographers finally decided that was it.

Now I'm just a citizen of district ten, destined to be put through the reaping one more time and then live out my life on my family's ranch. After all the chaos I'd been put through, it almost sounded nice.

Still my mind wandered to the others, tucked away in their own districts. Maybe Mayor Emberstatt would let me use his telephone while he was still in office.

I started out, ready to make the walk back to the ranch and eat the same dinner as all the years before and sleep in a bed where Kahinta would elbow me in the ribs. Not perfect, but no cannons would fire, no mutts would attack, and no one would be watching.

However, before we could even leave the train station I noticed in the retreating crowd of people a figure standing their ground.

"Temple." Ansgar Todd stepped forward. He was a rare sight even during games events, and I wonder if anyone got any photos of him to plaster everywhere too. He was practically a collectible now. I wave my family ahead, a task they do reluctantly, waiting just a few feet ahead. I can't blame them, I wouldn't let me out of sight after all this either. "Give me a second chance to guide you as I failed to guide you before."

A second chance. I chew on the inside of my cheek as he speaks, thinking about my mentors. Saffron was nearly nonexistent but that tends to be a trend for victors. Mentoring takes a lot out of them and I have to say I'm thankful I don't have to do it. Mace was as helpful as he could be. I wish I got to keep the little notes that came down attached to my sponsorship gifts.

I also make a mental note to ask Mace how he managed to gather enough money to send me such an expensive thing like armor.

Ansgar had been around but... quiet. He mostly sat in the corner of the car, his rat on his shoulder watching us. I only got two sentences out of him the entire time we were together before the games.

"Ripred will guide you. Listen to Him, He kept me alive."

I want to say it wasn't much help, but I am alive. I guess it could have been Ripred who did it, but if it was he never told me. However, I was interested in what guidance he might offer.

"Let me bestow upon you an echo of a gift given to me." His fingers opened and there, in the middle of this palm, was a rat. My mouth hung open as I looked at the little guy. I was acquainted with rats, they were found often in the barn and the house. I decided not to mention that most of those my family killed. This rat seemed... different? He was looking at me, dark beady eyes somehow focused on mine. He gave a small, weak squeak, his little hands folded in front of his body. His ears were low and pressed against his head like he was scared, or anxious.

There seemed to something more to him than just... you know a rat.

"He will be a companion to you, and perhaps he will help you as my own rat helped me." The rat's nose twitched, his face leaning towards me as he took in all the scents in the air.

"He is yours."

I stare at this small, fuzzy creature. His little pink hands fidgeting together like a person twiddling their thumbs.

I never heard a voice in that Arena. I never felt someone helping me, or watching over me. Only the flesh and blood allies around me, and then in those final moments no one at all. However, after waking up in the vault where ghosts of tributes walked around my world felt fractured.

If we can rise from the dead, then maybe a rat can be more than just a rat.

I slowly reach out, careful not to startle the little guy. I lay my palm out next to Ansgar's, my left pinky pressed against his making a bridge for the creature to cross. However, before the rat can move I waver, my hand pulling away.

"Wait," I say, my eyes examining the rat in palm before rising to meet the man's eyes. "Why me?"

Why not Enzo? Why not any of the regular citizens of district ten? Like the escort's voice in my mind reading off that little slip of paper.

Why me?

table credit griffin^^

[Kire]

[attr="class","atvertical"]victor

[attr="class","angerytoad"]He watches her expression, trying to determine whether she was pleased or disturbed by his gift. The rat on his palm stared at her with a clear mixture of fear and curiosity. That, at least, was good because it meant the rat was starting to consider her as a companion. Now, if only Temple might do the same. Did she perhaps feel that same fear and curiosity or was she experiencing other emotions? He had always lacked whatever innate knowledge most people had to sense what another person was feeling, and now was one of the first times he recognized that lack. As if transfixed, Temple reaches her hand out toward the rat. The small creature doesn't cower in fear but he also doesn't run to her. He can feel the momentary warmth of her hand next to his for the briefest of seconds before she pulls away again. There was a wonder in that momentary connection, but it had disappeared too soon for him to acknowledge it. Was she changing her mind? Had she even come to a decision in the first place? The rat on his palm seems to reach forward toward her as though trying to pull her back. Perhaps it wasn't himself or Temple that would make this decision but her would-be companion. She looked at him then, with a look that seemed somewhere between confusion and challenge. "Wait," she's taking in his features, trying to read him like he is unable to read her, "why me?" For a breath he is unable to answer her question. His mind is empty of everything save the hope that she believes him and accepts the rat for herself. He looks past her shoulder, directing his gaze far away and toward nothing in particular. He searches for Ripred in the dust on the train platform, in the sky that is visible through the exit, in the faces of the people around them. Distantly he realizes there is a small group of faces that resemble Temple not far from them; her family was here. Drawing himself back to Temple and her question he takes a slow breath, using one finger from his free hand to stroke the young rat. "Because Ripred showed you to me." He stopped then, feeling as though this was sufficient for an explanation. It would have been for his brother or maybe even his mother but not for a curious girl who had survived so much. "On the day of the reaping He brought me to the square. He guided me to you. He reminded me of my duty and He told me how you were someone important." He faltered for a second, looking for the right way to explain the feeling in the pit of his stomach when Ripred had lit her face in silver. "He saw something in you, some gift or light, and has shown me it. I am trying to now do what I failed to do before, protect and guide you." The rat pressed its head back into the weight of his finger, enjoying the attention and beginning to relax further. Hopefully Temple would be able to do the same. "I am not the best of guides, so I offer you a better one." He raised his laden hand to indicate that he meant the rat. "Let him show you a way when I cannot." Once again, he stretched his hand out to her, ferrying the rat closer. He had no more easy explanations to give, and in time he might provide her with the difficult details but right now he had yet to truly reflect on them himself. Having shut himself away for over five years he had refused to acknowledge any of what he had done or seen in his time in the arena and Capitol. His brother and mother had accepted that, knowing that he would speak when Ripred declared it time. Maybe this, maybe now, was the first indication that it was.

[attr="class","atvertical"]ansgar todd

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[sbeeg]

I was only eleven years old when Ansgar Todd came home from the Arena. It was my last year of safety before being put into the Reaping myself. Kahinta was so small then, barely able to sit in front of the television. But I could. I sat on the hard concrete of the living room watching but not truly seeing.

No film could ever compare to the lived experience of the Arena. Not now, not ever.

Our Victor had come home. An older boy who was, compared to our charismatic Emberstatt, quiet. He was strange, devout to a fault, and not very... well interesting. He left for years, choosing to miss out on Capitol events and anything that had to do with a camera.

So it made it even stranger that year of all years, reapings of all reapings, tributes of all tributes. It was me.

The rat in his hand rubbed its little paws against its cheeks.

"Because Ripred showed you to me."

I have a complicated relationship with Ripred. I enjoy the festivals thrown in his name, and the general feeling of togetherness but other than that I rarely think about him. So much of my life was spent frozen, laying in the grass of the Jones pasture and trying to get life to slow down so I could catch up. Ripred moved too fast for me. So, it comes as a surprise that he had done... well anything.

"On the day of the reaping He brought me to the square. He guided me to you. He reminded me of my duty and He told me how you were someone important."

I blink. Important? Important maybe in the same sense. Important to the ranch. Important to my family. Important in history as a dead person brought to life. But none of those were my choices. I didn't ask to be born on a ranch, or to be reaped or reborn. Someone is important because of the choices they've made and the life they have created. Life moves around me and I feel caught in its current. A single fish does not affect the ocean.

"He saw something in you, some gift or light, and has shown me it. I am trying to now do what I failed to do before, protect and guide you."

For a moment I wonder if the Arena could have been different. What guidance would Ansgar had given me that may have changed things? In the end the whole Games were a cruel joke. Everyone was sent home no matter what.

I killed Hellion Mo just to end up on the same train back to the districts with her. It was all for nothing. Was that Ripred's doing?

Even if it was, what am I supposed to do now? What gift or light is worth anything beneath blood stained skin?

"I am not the best of guides, so I offer you a better one. Let him show you a way when I cannot."

I look at the rat. He's small and fluffy, and kind of cute. I hold my hand out again, pressing my palm beside Ansgar's and wait for the rodent to cross into my care.

"I don't understand everything, but I'll take a friend where I can get one."

I never had anyone I could call a friend in District Ten. I had my sister and my parents, and I had school peers but no one I was close with. Now the people I had bared my heart to are miles away and the entire country saw every part of it.

Everyone knew me but I still didn't know anyone.

I could use a kind soul nearby, even if it was a rat.

My hand trembles.

"What do I do now?" I didn't mean to ask the question aloud. It was a thought that had been gnawing at my mind the entire train home and now it was a real. Do I go back to the ranch? School? Do I just sit in the square with my rat god and pity myself? I sniffle, ignoring the sting behind my eyes. "Do I just... go home?"

table credit griffin^^