bloom! { whit & vi blitz!

[✨ zozo.]

At least it's stopped raining.

I can go outside again, thank fuck. Sunshine in the sky and I think about how funny it is, the fact that I never felt cooped up in our 2-bedroom home but here in this mansion I think I'm suffocating. It's not even the whole sharing a room thing. Poppy is tolerable, and hardly ever in there when I am save for sleeping. It's just...

The people here.

No wonder I prefer plants. Plants are just here to grow, bloom, mind their own business and when they're all done and dusted they give themselves to you. Whether to eat or arrange or display or harvest, plants aren't selfish. These kids are, though. 

Maybe I am too, maybe that's why I'm here, maybe because I don't want anyone else to bother me here in my garden. They can fuck off for all I care, stuck-up no-good rich kid fuckers-

I never used to swear.

Sitting in the garden tending to soil and plants with a rusty shovel and gloves surrounded by nothing but air and delicate things, I've never felt more violent. Maybe my parents named me not for the flower, but for my instincts.

Shovelling dirt to my side, I grit my teeth and relent.

[gamemaker tallis 🌱 kaitlin.]

whit.

Violet's words stay with Whitney.

She had been fearless in her condemnation, making the rest of the group hyper-aware of their shortcomings when it came to making friends—or, at the very least, she had made Whitney hyper-aware. The moment Violet had said that no one else had bothered trying to get to know her, Whitney had felt her heart crash through the floor, had forced herself to take a look at her own selfishness and the people she had used to blind herself to Violet's wonder.

Still though, there's something in that fearlessness that scares Whitney, and it takes her longer than she'd like to go in search of the flower girl. It takes courage to speak truth like that, especially truth that makes oneself look bad in different light. After all, what if someone had turned it on its head and said no one bothered to get to know Violet because she wasn't worth knowing? The idea of that alone makes Whitney nauseous with anxiety, and she can't ever imagine calling people out for not trying to know her.

There was too much room for cruelty.

Still though, no one had been cruel in return, not as cruel as they could have been, and she thinks that Violet's courage deserves a reward. Beyond that, her own guilt eats away at her and finally, finally, she goes in search of her.

"Vi," she calls when she searches the gardens for her. "Er- Violet," she corrects, knowing that she has crossed too many boundaries in her life, and that using a nickname is supposed to be earned, not taken. "I was just looking for you," she says finally, her mouth twisted with worry but attempting a half-smile anyways.

Forgive me, it says.

[✨ zozo.]

"Vi?"

"Huh?" I murmur, squinting in the daylight. Dropping the shovel, I raise a hand to cover my eyes from the harsh glare of the sun and find Whitney in my presence, a halo of light glowing around her frame.

I must've had a sour look on my face because she corrects herself. "Er- Violet"

"Oh - Whitney?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. This is surprising. "Hiya."

She's one of the nice ones, I think. Better her than front-runner Poppy or, god forbid, Coralie. I think, I guess, I don't know enough about her to tell. I kind of have an instinct about most of these people but not Whitney - she's got sad eyes. That's all I can tell upon first glance.

"I was just looking for you" she says, so I discard my tools and stand up, brushing the dirt off of my skirt.

"Is it Baxter?" I ask, that damn cat. "Gah - he likes to eat the food in the kitchen, I'm sorry - I'll go get him and tell him off."

Because what else could it possibly be about?

[gamemaker tallis 🌱 kaitlin.]

whit.

Violet doesn't seem annoyed.

That's a start that Whitney can work with.

Not that she had expected Violet to be annoyed, not really, can remember that first night in the house when they'd all been called to a dinner party and asked to introduce themselves. She had been taken with Violet then, can remember how her fingers itched in want of her charcoals so that she could draw the flower-hearted girl. Why hadn't I followed through on that feeling? Whitney asks herself, and knows that the answer has to be something she doesn't want to hear.

Violet though, immediately thinks it must be about Baxter, that Whitney couldn't possibly go in search of Violet simply for Violet's sake, and that makes a pang ricochet through Whitney once more.

"No!" she says quickly, lifting her hands as a mock shield. "No, no, it's not Baxter," she goes on, almost with a laugh, but still feeling too badly about not trying harder for it to sound sincere. "Though, you are right about him. I was making a sandwich the other day and he followed me around for the next twenty minutes looking for scraps. I thought it was adorable."

She smiles, tries to make it feel real and honest, and thinks that maybe she succeeds.

"I came out here though because I just-" Whitney pauses, inhaling, trying to think of the right thing to say. "I wanted-" and again, it doesn't feel right. "I wondered if you could teach me about all this?" she says, gesturing to the plants around them. It's not true, not really, but Whitney can't say it.

I came out here because I should have been a friend to you.

"I don't know anything about gardening."

[✨ zozo.]

"Oh..."

Whitney actually wants to learn. From me.

"Oh!"

Grinning, I shuffle to the side and pat the small patch of grass beside me. "Take a seat!" I say, perhaps a little too enthusiastically - but you know what? I don't care. Whitney actually wants to learn something and it's my something. This is exciting. I've never had to teach anyone before, just learnt myself and did my job - oh fuck, what if I'm shit at teaching?

Nah, it'll be alright. Whitney's competent enough to be here in the first place, and she's got a good attitude. Probably one of the best attitudes I have seen in all my months here - she's gonna go far in life no matter where she ends up. Good for her.

I pass her my shovel and gesture towards the patches of soil neatly raked, excited for her to learn something knew. "Start digging little holes in the ground, about yay-wide" I demonstrate, making a circle with my thumb and index finger. "Not too deep, though, because then water and stuff won't reach the seeds."

A warmth blooms in my chest - it smothers the bitterness, if only for a little while.

[gamemaker tallis 🌱 kaitlin.]

whit.

Whitney's whole face lights up.

Violet's nervous energy immediately turns bright, turns into excitement, and it makes Whitney feel... something. Something wonderful. Something good. And maybe that's selfish of her, to go to Violet and try to be her friend just to make herself feel better, but that's a question that she'll bother herself with later, maybe.

When they're both gone from this house.

Maybe not even then.

Whit crouches down into the dirt without a care for how it will get on her clothes. Ripred knows her jeans are already covered in enough paint as it is, a bit of dirt never hurt anyone.

She takes the shovel, then puts it down for a second to reaches to scrunch her hair up, tighten the elastic that's wrapped around it. It's a mess, and pieces are falling in her eyes, but Violet is smiling and that's all she cares about.

"Like this?" she asks, trying to mimic Violet's motions. And maybe it's a bit of a test, thinks that she dug the hole too deep and wonders if Violet will tell her that, actually teach her or placate her in an effort to make a friend. Both versions Whitney would love, but it does well to know. "Where did you learn this stuff anyways?"

[✨ zozo.]

"Like this?"

"Yeah!" I beam, hoping I'm not coming off too strong. "Perfect!" Almost. The holes are a little far apart for my liking but that's okay, the depth is pretty decent and Whitney's not half-bad for her first go. I won't say anything. I don't wanna make her feel like an idiot. I do enough of that for the whole house and maybe also the neighbours.

"Now take one of these seeds - they're quite chunky 'coz they're pumpkin seeds, see" I instruct, pinching one in-between my thumb and index finger and peering at it with one eye, "and plop 'em in the hole like this. Easy!"

I let the seed find a new home in the soil and gesture for Whitney to do the same.

"Where did you learn this stuff anyways?"

Pumpkin seeds all in a row, I grab my shovel and fill in the gaps in the earth. "Same people I learned everything from," I explain. "My parents."

I didn't think I'd miss them this much - and I don't, usually. But talking about them now, doing what they taught me, teaching someone else, I do. I take a moment to pause, colleccting my thoughts and emotions, and press on.

"We had to learn how to grow our own food or, y'know..."

I pat down the earth, seeds swallowed up to sprout.

"We'd die."