break the glass [fangor/fiona] JB blitz

[kap]

As someone who’d been alone in life for the last several years, I expected to be completely by myself for the entirety of my time spent in the Justice Building after the reaping concluded. At least it would give me some time to sit there and think to myself without my thoughts being interrupted. Alone time was something that I enjoyed, and I’d always had a lot of it. The only thing about this change I’d chosen to make that I wasn’t too fond of was the fact that from this point forward, I was constantly going to be watched by the Capitol. Then, come the time of the arena, the rest of Panem, too.

I sat in the Justice Building by myself for a little bit before, to my surprise, the door opened with a visitor coming in to see me. It took me a moment or two to place quite who the girl was, and then, I realized that it was Fiona Zachariah, District Nine’s female tribute and survivor of the Eightieth Annual Hunger Games. I couldn’t imagine what she wanted with me. What on Earth had made her decide that she should visit me before I left for the Games? Perhaps, I thought, it was to tell me that I was stupid for volunteering. Then, I thought that maybe, just maybe, she was here because of who the boy I volunteered for was. Did she know Fable Adric? Was he important to her?

”Fiona.” I stated her first name in a way that would show her that I recognized who she was, along with a slight nod of my head. ”What brings you here?” I questioned her. At this point, I assumed that it was something to do with Fable, but I couldn’t be entirely certain.

lyrics: "Shatter Me" by Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale

[*]

My heart had finally stopped beating so fast. My mind quit replaying moments from the games; the killing blow, watching Faux die, and so many other memories that set my breaths into a endless feeling of drowning. Fingers still quaked but I kept them together pressed against my stomach because as I neared the door to the holding cell, panic began to rise again. This time, I knew it wasn't me going to die, but it was almost my future husband. Only this morning did I propose to him and I almost lost him. Lost him to the games that nearly killed me for real.

Luckily, the president was gracious just one time in the eighty years that the games had been running. Survivors guilt was definately a downfall to living. The same thing I felt when my entire family died in the fire and somehow I was the only one saved. This felt the same, watching more and more tributes go into the games, but I owed this tribute my life now.

"Fangor." I murmered when I stood in front of the door. Fear began to envelope me but also so much appreciation for the hell he was about to endure to save me the sanity I only just gained.

My hand reached to my mouth, covering it with a heavy breath. "I... I can't go in." My stomach churned and for a moment I find myself backing away from the door before I can even touch the knob.

"Ma'am, are you going in?" The keeper's voice questioned. Reality set in and in an instant, I looked to him and realized he had been standing there the whole time. I nod to him and open the door, this time with more presence.

"What brings you here?" He says my name and it feels so weird.

"I wanted to thank you. I know it don't mean much and I'm so very sorry that you are where you are." Sweaty palms cause me to unclench my hands. "There's nothing I can do to repay you. I don't know what I can say to make this alright, but you've given me my life back. Fable was there when I came back -"

Immediately, I find myself coming to him for a hug, wrapping my arms around him. It might not mean anything to him, but it means to me, my life.

PAT: 397

[kap]

Fiona speaks to me with kind words when she enters the room.

"I wanted to thank you. I know it don't mean much and I'm so very sorry that you are where you are." She says this to me as if I didn't choose to be here. She is grateful, though, and I'm glad that, at the very least, my action was noticed by someone and they actually cared. I've always been a loner, and my volunteering wasn't necessarily to save the boy, as it was more so just so that I could get into the Games, but it helped someone, too, and I suppose that's a good thing.

"There's nothing I can do to repay you. I don't know what I can say to make this alright, but you've given me my life back. Fable was there when I came back -"

I speak to her in response, trying my best to be gentle with my words, yet still give her the truth.

"I appreciate you coming in here, I really do," I told her. "Although I want you to know that I didn't know who he was, so you shouldn't treat me like a hero. I volunteered because I wanted change in my life. I chose to be in the Games for my own reasons, and did it on my own terms."

I paused a moment before speaking again.

"I do realize how much you suffered in the Games, though, and for that, I'm sorry, and I know it may seem dumb that I made this choice." I looked her in the eyes as I said this. "I just don't want you to feel sorry for me, because I chose this."

It took me a moment to realize that Fiona was going in for a hug. I felt awkward, as I'd never really been the hugging type, and just stood there for a moment as her arms started to go around my body. As the hug continued, I eventually returned it, but felt strange in doing so.

lyrics: "Shatter Me" by Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale

[*]

Fangor's words come out and what he said tells me that he did it for no reason at all. I do realize how much you suffered in the games, though, and for that, I'm sorry, and i know it may seem dumb that I made this choice."

And regret was never going to be a thing.

"I won't feel sorry for you, because how can I? It's absolute appreciation and will always be and you will forever hold a special place in my heart. I can only hope that you'll come back to us and I will be forever in your debt." I moved for a hug. It seemed awkward, but it had to happen. I had regret for never kissing my older brother goodnight before bed. How my momma and dad forgot to read me that story when they had promised. My sisters that I let fight. How I didn't turn around to see my grandfather just once more before the reaping. My last moments were wasted. But...

A hug.

A simple gesture of appreciation.

My broken heart mending the longer I hold this hug.

Fangor Redtail was the only reason I was now living because I don't want to imagine what I would have done if Fable had been taken from me only moments ago. A lifetime of grief can only be held hostage for so long before it becomes so overwhelming that it would be better to seek peace instead of a lifetime of pain.

I broke the moment between us with my eyes looking at him. Remembering his face will do me more good and I studied his eyes. The hues of green and brown swirling together to create such a calming moment. "You have a good heart despite thinking you did this to just satisfy yourself. Stepping up for someone takes courage and after I came back from the games, I thought I had gained a lot. You proved me wrong." I grin at him with a solemn force. I put my arm up and take off an old bracelet full of charms. It was something I'd acquired over the years and one of the charms snapped with my thumbs force.

"This is a bear my grandpa got me one day. He told me that I was going to be like a bear and I could overcome the force of the water when needed and stand my ground if needed. Be as a bear, Fangor Redtail. I will never forget you. May it protect you for as long as it can."



PAT: 422

[kap]

"I won't feel sorry for you, because how can I? It's absolute appreciation and will always be and you will forever hold a special place in my heart. I can only hope that you'll come back to us and I will be forever in your debt." Fiona told me this and I felt something that I'd never felt before. I felt appreciated. She was genuinely thankful for my volunteering and had gone out of her way to tell and show me that. A weak smile crossed my face.

"You have a good heart despite thinking you did this to just satisfy yourself. Stepping up for someone takes courage and after I came back from the games, I thought I had gained a lot. You proved me wrong." Her words really made me think about what I'd just done- volunteering. Did I actually have a good heart for volunteering? Was it not just a selfish action on my part to get what I wanted? Perhaps it wasn't as selfish of an action as I thought it was, since I was saving another boy's life, after all.

A smile was delivered to me from Fiona.

"Thank you," I said to her. "To be completely honest, no one's ever told me I had a good heart before. I don't have anyone left in my life that really cares for me all that much, so it's really nice to hear such a thing."

A moment later, Fiona lifted her arm to reveal a bracelet full of charms. Using the force of her thumb, she broke off one of the charms. The charm was that of a bear.

"This is a bear my grandpa got me one day. He told me that I was going to be like a bear and I could overcome the force of the water when needed and stand my ground if needed. Be as a bear, Fangor Redtail. I will never forget you. May it protect you for as long as it can." Fiona told me this, and I didn't know what to say to her in response other than some words of appreciation.

"Thank you, Fiona."

I paused for a moment and thought of the small, wooden hawk figurine I had in my pocket. Initially, it was what I had planned on taking with me as my token, but now that Fiona had presented me with this charm, I was quite torn. The hawk figurine was from my father, and it reminded me of him. It also, however, reminded me of when I witnessed my father's murder, which was a time of weakness for me, whereas this bear charm didn't have any weakness associated with it- only strength. It was a symbol of protection. It would remind me to stay strong, and not remind me of the negative memories in my life that had made me feel weak. That's when I made a decision, and took the wooden hawk figurine out of my pocket, presenting it to Fiona.

"If I take that charm with me, would you be willing to take this for me? It was a gift from my father before he was killed, and I don't want the Capitol to take it away. I want it to be somewhere safe, even if I don't make it back alive. Could you do that for me, please?" I asked her this, hope shining through in my eyes.

lyrics: "Shatter Me" by Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale