couldve been a nightmare [griffin]

[ryan]

He held axes higher than his own self esteem. But he didn’t talk about that.

His fragile masculinity was already in question as he was called various things behind his back. He didn’t know how he deserved such a thing, but he didn’t try to fight it, because his mother taught him at a young age that people were going to talk, and just to let them.

It didn’t matter what others thought of him anyway, because he was successful, and kind, and had a heart that could pump enough blood for many. Except he wasn’t sure how many people really saw that.

His children, his siblings, and himself sure, but anyone else? That was the real question.

He pursed his lips as he smacked the blade straight through the wood and watched it crumble before his eyes. He was not above doing manual labor. It kept him in shape and it showed his workers that he wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.

Juniper Hawthorne was an honest man. A man with values that rivaled most of the people here in seven. He was always honest in his own truths, and had no problem making sure they remained just that.

Truths.

---

He made his way out of the wood mill and into the surrounding area to get out of the clustered workspace that he claimed was his home. It wasn’t, he had a home, one that was given to him by his mother as a wedding gift.

Of course, he didn’t want to keep it after what had happened, but he did, because a man of tradition and values didn’t let things like cheating and infidelity sully it for the rest of his family.

She left, and while she claimed to have multiple reasons to why, Juni could admit that he didn’t give a shit to why.

It was why people were talking about him now.

She tried her best to ruin his reputation, but his mother, bless her heart, was able to smooth over most of it with most of the district. Juniper didn’t realize that she had that much pull with the inhabitants of seven, but seeing as she built an empire on the death of her husband, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

He didn’t spend too much time wondering what became of his wife, and if he was being quite honest, he didn’t really give a damn. Sometimes he saw glimpses of her in the city square, to which he would duck into the weirdest places just to avoid basic contact with her.

He might have been acting like a child about it, but he didn’t care, because at the end of the day, he was protecting himself.

---

And then she would send gifts with the children as they came back from visiting with her. A thought that he couldn’t comprehend directly. He wasn’t sure if it was through pity or self-righteousness. Of course, he accepted them, but he would hide them as soon as his children left him alone.

He would place them in the closet with the random items he bought from when he ducked away from seeing her in the first place.

Avoidance was the name of the game that he played by, and it worked for him. Just enough to keep him sane.

Even though sane wasn’t the right word.

It was denial.

But he wasn’t going to be the one to say that.

---

Days passed and he kept himself busy enough. His sister would come around from time to time to make sure the kids were being taken care of, which gave Juniper some time to focus on the business and his sanity, the former always coming before.

A couple of his workers had been discussing what had been going on in the games, a topic that Juniper didn’t really care for because he had a feeling that his kids weren’t going to end up in a fate like that. He had years before they were even eligible to begin with.

The sevens had been at odds with each other, which didn’t surprise him, seeing as the only pair of sevens that had worked together well in recent years were the ones from last games. Even then, he didn’t focus on them too much because they were gone as soon as they went in.

The thought of it reminded him of something that he needed to do anyway.

He grabbed two baby trees from his inventory and announced that he would be back later.

---

Near his wood mill, he had a section of land that had been closed off to everyone but himself and his family. This was his tribute ground, a place where he grew trees in honor of the fallen.

It wasn’t much, seeing as he had recently started this. The 78th to be exact.

He lifted both small trees as he took off his jacket and grabbed the shovel that he had left here almost a year ago. He knew it was cold, but the amount of work he had to do would elevate his body temperature.

He began to dig, trying to ignore the outside world around him. That was until he heard a loud twig snap in half.

”If youre trying to sneak up on me, youre doing a shit job of it.” he said as he kept digging. ”Didn’t I say not to disturb me here?” he mentioned quickly as stopped for a moment to turn around, thinking that it was one of his workers.

However, when his eyes met the figure, he realized that it wasn’t.

”Oh. What do I owe the pleasure?” he sighed seeing that it was the last person that he wanted to see right now. ”Mayor Sayer.” he spoke as his elbow rested on the hilt of the shovel.

He was worried that a simple task was going to turn into something that it shouldn’t have been, after all, anything was possible with a Sayer attached to it.

At least, that is what Juniper thought.

[napoleon, d2m ₊⊹ 🐁 ɢʀɪғғɪɴ.]

Being a mayor was a thankless job.

There wasn’t much for the people of Seven to be grateful for, anyways—Phoenix Sayer had let his days dwindle past him sitting behind mahogany walls, drinking tea from ornate cups, scrutinizing documents that mostly ended up in the stomach of a trash-can and stamping permits for things that went nowhere, caused no change. He’d been told from the very beginning that he wouldn’t need to do much formal work, only stand at the helm and flash his pearly teeth to the district. Collect those moon-eyed gazes from daughters, and those sanguine blushes from their mothers.

The rest will be taken care of, Phoenix had been assured.

And, it was taken care of. In the shelter of night, they came, crooks and thugs from every nook and canny of seven, to the Sayer mansion. The pills and the like were sold first to the highest bidders, the district’s candy-men. Then, the weapons, silver and steel showing from under the covers draped on them, assortments and ornate assortments of them. If he was robbed on the streets with a dagger, there was a chance the weapon had been bought from the Sayers’ arsenal. Lastly, it was lands, fertile fields that promised growth to any eager gardener. All of it was rotten work Phoenix didn’t have to do. All of it was rotten work Phoenix didn’t want to do.

Sometimes, he thought about Raven, on nights where slept escaped him. Raven Sayer, brown-haired and tall. Raven Sayer racing down a hill, adamant on finishing the ski-face, eyes fierce. Raven Sayer, with his cheeks damp from tears as that boy from Six took away his lover. Raven Sayer bleeding in the snow. Eighteen, he had been when he died and already, he was braver than Phoenix, stronger.

But, there were two kinds of Sayers—ones from Raven’s side, who were innocent and earned their livings innocently, and ones from Phoenix’s side, making their earns meet through dark, crooked means. He thought about growing up as Raven, a childhood free of the many lessons he was imposed, a simple existence. A part of Phoenix craved it, though most of him knew that it was nothing but a mere pipe-dream, a tale imagined.

Then, there was Diana, brave Diana with all her beauty and poise, a queen marching onward with her own army of one. She mirrored Raven, doing everything it took to survive the games’ barbarism, trudging through the thick of war. She mirrored Raven, so in the end she fell to Twelve, to Nico Thorne’s bereaved rage. Something twisted in Phoenix’s chest then as he watched her eyes grow duller and duller.

He’d arranged public hearing and chastised district twelve. It was a reckless act, a thoughtless deed, a desperate attempt at a payback for Diana and Raven, but no words of anger could make them wake up from their graves. The hearing put Phoenix in danger though. Wild and rash, he was called by his family, thrown insults at. He’d put everything at risk, rekindled the district’s memory of Raven. All eyes would be returning to the Sayer family very soon, and that was unacceptable. Only Phoenix must burn bright and draw others’ interests; the rest of them were nocturnal birds that hunted quietly in the night.

By some stroke of luck, everything calmed. The district’s eyes spun back to the current tributes, to the Forresters that were rumored to live in the woodlands and worshipped old gods. New allures came and went; the Sayers became a thing of the past, a piece of history in some leather-bound book. But the unease in Phoenix never died, lodged in his chest like an arrow-head—a wound that never healed, only bled.

He was here because Kree, his assistant, had told him of it. A forest, dedicated to the fallen children, taken care of by a woodcutter. He was here to salve the wound bleeding in his chest. “If I was trying to sneak up on you, you would’ve never heard me.” Phoenix folded his arms in front of his chest, flitting his eyes around, chin held up high. At ‘mayor sayer’, he made a dismissive gesture with a hand. “Please, it’s Phoenix. Mayor Sayer sounds like a tongue-twister.” He drank his surroundings in, the hush of the forest, the canopies interwoven together overhead.

“What’s your name, sir?” Phoenix cocked an incredulous brow a few moments later, letting his blue eyes settle entirely on the male ahead of him. “And, do you have a tree planted in honor of him? Of Raven?”

[ryan]

Juniper had no clue how to handle the world with his own hands. Sure, he knew how to hold an axe, and he knew how to cut down trees, but when it came figuring out anything outside of that, he caved. He caved because he had not known how to show emotions in a way that was healthy. He always had a lot on his mind, and it took a great deal for him to crack, but when he did, he did hard. He hated himself for it if he was being honest, resigning himself to days in solitude while someone else he trusted ran the business. Maybe that was why he started to plant trees here. Maybe he was trying to find a way to bury his own memories as well. Sure, he was doing it for a good reason, but everyone knew it was because the Hawthorne boy had never been the best at expressing himself. Juni, for years, had been plagued by countless people as the man who had no heart. He hated that notion, but he couldn’t help but find the truth in it. It was like bile that he was forced to swallow. It hurt going down every time.

But he kept doing it, because that was something his family prided themselves on. Being strong, and fierce in the wake of diversity. He had no business caring about what happened in the games, because none of his children had been directly involved. He had been lucky, grew up and out of the reaping in no time at all, but it felt like an eternity had already passed since his son had become eligible. There were days when he prayed this his name would never be called, and he worked hard to make sure that he would not have to take anything extra from the capitol. Anything to lessen the chances of any of his children going in, that is what mattered to him.

Maybe these trees were a way of atonement. A way for him to make amends for keeping his own out of harm’s way. Of course, it wasn’t fair, it was never fair if Juniper was being honest with himself. However, everyone had to survive somehow, and if he had a way of keeping his own children out of harm’s way, then he would do whatever it took. Others would just have to deal with it, because at the end of the day, Juniper did not care about the disparities of others worlds as the clashed with his own. He would always put his family first, his business second, himself third and then everyone else would fall to the wayside.

He knew his ex-wife did appreciate that, though it had been ages since he had heard from her. She mustve moved on already, and he was okay with that. The last thing that he needed was to have a reason to hold onto the past. Saying that always felt odd, because he had made it a mission to grow tree’s in the wake of fallen tributes, but their legacies were important. His was not. At least, that is how he felt about it. Maybe it was the sadness from the breakup that was clouding his judgement. Or maybe it was the idea of trying to hold onto something that he had worked so hard to move away from. There was just no point in it. He knew that, and his ex-wife had known that too. Maybe even his children had known that too. Whatever it was, he made sure that his feelings about his failed marriage stayed out of his mind. After all, there were so much more wrong with the world.

And even on his heels, he had been caught off guard by the Mayor current. Juni didn’t even have a clue how he had gotten word of this place. He had made sure that only a few people knew about this, and most of them were immediate family members. His brows furrowed for a moment as he listened to the man speak, wondering if there was a point to his dismissal of being called Mayor Sayer. Juni couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he watched the other cross his arms in from of him. Obviously the Mayor had already felt like he was being attacked in some way, but Juni was just wondering why he had been on hallowed ground like this. Whatever it may be, he was not impressed one bit, and if he had the power, he would have ushered him off the grounds with brute force. He had no business here after all, even if he knew two of the tributes personally that had died recently. ”Be as it may, I like the sound of it. Really rolls off the tongue.” Juni couldn’t help but smirk while he said that. A smile that might have seemed out of place, but Juni never had tact.

”There is, but my question is, how did you find this place?” Juni couldn’t help but pose the question. ”Worked pretty hard to keep it hidden.” Juni was honest, he didn’t want this place to be public knowledge quite yet. ”Wanted to wait a couple more years, so the trees looked a little bit better then they do now.” He picked up the axe that he had close by and lifted it up so the hilt was resting on his shoulder. ”But if you want to see it, Phoenix, its right over there.” Juni pointed to it, it had been years since Raven had passed away, so the tree had been the tallest one in the group of them. Juni had been quite proud of that one, watching it grow a surprising amount in such a short amount of time. He had gone with Oak, something sturdy, resilient in the harshest of winters. Maybe one day he would cut it down and turn it into something else, and watch it grow again in no time.

But that would have to wait, because Phoenix Sayer burned brightly here, and Juniper Hawthorne did not like it one bit.