wide awake at two am; jed&levi blitz

[Tom]

Jedidiah Winchester

It's two am when he finds himself with the blonde boy known as Levi Benton.

Laughter on his lips as the tipsiness takes control over his stomach, filling it with a warmth he didn't know about. Caine may be dead, but somehow, Jed's heart still beats. The proof is standing right next to him in the form of the musically inclined Levi Benton. It's two am when he finds himself leading Levi with a grin and the promise of somewhere quiet, somewhere chill, somewhere to be together and talk. The stables were always a place of comfort for everyone, so the Winchester Stables shouldn't be an issue for them to hang out in or even make out in.

He sure wished they would.

Instead of lingering on that thought, Jed turns his head to stop right in front of the dark wooded building, sliding a door open with one hand and wrapping his other one around Levi's shoulder giving him a friendly squeeze. The pack of cigarettes in his pocket feeling like a weight that he's ready to release into the world, but instead, Jed does the only thing his tipsy brain can process fast enough.

"Well, here we are, my secret hiding place."

The stables were mostly empty most of the time, except when it was day, but when night came, this was Jedidiah's hidden place away from the world. Horses silently neighing, but none of them quite loud enough to be bothersome. Some nights, he finds himself here when he can't sleep, listening to the soft breaths of the horses. Abel is the first horse he can see still see awake. His own horse, Carmel, across the way, staring back at him as he approaches with a gentle hand, stroking her neck.

"Carmel is mine, I come here when I... Nevermind."

[tick 12a / calla]

      

LEVI BENTON

We're tipsy on the night (morning?) air and I'm laughing into his neck. Delirious, maybe. Enamoured, perhaps. It's always been easy with Jed, a kind of familiarity that I had only ever found in the places where the wallpaper peeled back at home. It was simple, to press words into the air between us, why don't we find someplace quieter, and to let him lead the way.

I thought we'd end up in the house

But my secret hiding place, Jed says, opening the door to the Winchester's stables with a lightness to him that I haven't seen in a long time.

Except, I grew up with music and songs and wind-chime symphonies. I didn't grow up with horses.

It's why when he walks through the stables, comes to stop in front of one of the horses, I linger in the entrance, feet scuffing against the ground. "She's beautiful." I tell him, honest, because it's the only thing I know how to be, curious, because it's the only thing I can give him. I point to one of the other horses and lean against the doorway, "What about that one?"

[Tom]

Jedidiah Winchester

"She's beautiful."

Carmel's always been beautiful. A joy to ride. He's raised from a little coal all the way up to the mare that she was now. For a moment, he's worried that Carmel won't be good or that something will happen, but as soon as he looks behind him to Levi, a finger pointed to Abel's stall as the words leave his lips.

"What about that one?"

Hesitation strikes him.

Caine's horse.

Abel hadn't warmed up to any of them. There's a silence that sits in that pen now. The memory of Caine still latched onto that horse. A chill runs up his spine as Jed moves closer to Levi, wrapping his arms around his waist, silently letting a kiss fall to the back of Levi's neck and then letting the hesitation go.

"That's Abel."

A pause.

"He was Caine's horse."

[tick 12a / calla]

      

LEVI BENTON

"Oh." And I've gone and put my foot in my mouth, lost a lifeline, brought up Caine when this is just supposed to be the two of us enjoying each other's company.

I don't know what it's like to lose a brother, Jed doesn't talk about his often, but I think I can imagine. I think I'd rather die than let one of my siblings suffer.

"I'm sorry," I tell him when he shifts over, voice soft, letting the back of my head fall to his forehead and curling my fingers around the nape of his neck as some kind of comfort. One of the horses whinnies, echos against the wooden planking and I move closer to him. This isn't where I expected the night to head, but I'm nothing if not adaptable. My mother taught me everything she knew. I know how to be there for someone. I know how to listen. "Do you want to talk about it?"

[Tom]

Jedidiah Winchester

"Oh."

Jed is slipping back into the past for a second too long as he can remember bottles and bottles of alcohol that lingered to his chest. His siblings looking at him as if he were walking around insane in the head. A weak smile that used to pull at his lips, but now he has Levi. Levi's brought some of the life back into him. The color is starting to fall back into place in his life.

"I'm sorry,"

Sorry. He's tired of hearing it being said, but no one has to know that. Arms wrap around his neck as he watches Levi silently think for a very short second before there's less space between them. A smile slips onto his lips as he leans into the body heat and just breathes in Levi. The boy smells of smoke and something that's characteristically Levi. Music seems to play in his own head before he can hear Levi.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. It's been enough years now."

A smile as he spins Levi around so they're eye to eye.

"Caine's gone, but I've grieved enough."

Calmly, he pushes Levi, until his back is on Abel's door as Jed leans forward catching those pretty lips on his own, letting the boy who thinks too much to stop thinking.

[tick 12a / calla]

      

LEVI BENTON

The world is spinning, falling in and out of focus until we're face to face and I can't help the smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth.

"I've grieved enough." Jed says and I'm glad. I'm happy for him.

And then we're moving, already three steps past the entrance before I realize where we're going, and I can practically feel my spine stiffen. There's a stable door against my back and Jed's mouth is on mine, two conflicting feelings at war in my head. My heart is pounding, and even though this is nice, very nice, very very very nice, it isn't because of him.

I can hear the horse behind us, the shuffle of his hooves and the way he huffs away in his stall. It feels a bit like there's a rabbit in my chest. I put my hands on Jed's shoulders, push at him gently, "Why don't we go inside?" laugh a little nervously, "Somewhere without an audience?"