she taught me patience [annie/hell] [blitz]

[ryan]

It was like everyone she had once known well was coming out of the woodwork.

Angel De Costa gave her a piece of his mind, and then Bette Sublino had made it clear that she had all intentions of coming to four to see Wander. Annie didn’t object to that of course, hell, she was the one that approved it.

This ball was starting to turn into a chore for Annie. She had no clue what to expect next, and that is what pained her to most out of anything. She didn’t want to talk to anyone else at this point, but she was just kind of forced into most of her interaction now, especially when it came to the 80th tributes. It was like the capitol wanted her to keep reliving all her trauma in one night.

And that’s when she finally laid her eyes on Hellion Mo, an enigma if she had ever known one. It had been ages since she had seen her, and maybe that was her fault at the end of the story. She didn’t try to get out to twelve enough for them to have any sort of interaction. 

Time would keep passing though, and that meant that Annie did need to take a chance and at least see how she was doing. After all, if she was able to put up with Angel’s insufferable tone, then she could probably handle anything else at this point.

”Hell, its good to see you.” She said as she stood in front of her, her arms not crossed for once this time.

[arctic]

I did not want to be here under any circumstance. However, Harley had other plans.

"you need this, hellion. you haven't been out in months."

Harley was adamant that she wanted me to get out of the house, which I didn't blame her. The only times I've been outside were to move in together and that was because I could barely deal with the guilty blank stares that my family gave me every time I'd leave the room. Harley didn't do that. She treated me with happiness, with passion. The one that I desired in the arena. The one that I thought Annie could give, but I would never get. I didn't want to go. But Harley wanted me to.

So here I am.

fuck.

I had no clue who I was going to run into on this trip, but I really hoped with my tucked in brown shirt, black pants and boots and dirty bun, it wasn't anyone that could change my life. Because admittedly? I looked like I belonged in the mines, not a ball. She wasn't going to wear a dress. Fuck dresses.

Anyway, I was really hoping that someone I knew wouldn't pop into my life for the night, but then she-

”Hell, its good to see you.”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Of course she's the first person I saw. Annie herself; the girl who killed love for me for two years.

"Uh, hi-" dear the lord and hell, what has gotten into you? take a deep breath.

"Hey, Annie. Good to see you too, I guess. How are you?"

I hoped the sadness wasn't as visible in my voice as it was in my eyes.

[ryan]

She didn’t see this coming. If there was anything more she could have done to maybe avoid this situation, she might have done it. She wasn’t ready to come to terms with the fact that most of the people she knew here probably hated her guts. 

She wasn’t sure how Hellion had felt about her, and it had been so long, she could admit the same thing. They had spent time in the arena together, protected each other, fought side by side, and of course Annie couldn’t save her. She couldn’t have saved any of them. The capitol did that for her. They would probably hold it over all of their heads for a long time to come. 

Even after that though, Annie could admit that she was happy to see Hellion in the flesh. ”I don’t know if I am being honest.” Annie spoke to her as she glanced around the room. ”Been having a lot of conversations I never thought I would be having here.” Annie could always be honest with Hell. ”How about you? I feel like its been months since Ive seen you outside of Twelve.” She shifted the weight of her body from side to side, feeling anxious as she waited for an answer. 

She really did hate parties.

[arctic]

It was hard to tell if the uncomfort was mutual between us, but personally I hoped it was slightly mutual. Wouldn't make it as bad. I tried my best to put on a happy face or some sort of face that doesn't scream panic, because I didn't want to put Annie off at all.

"I don't know if I am being honest."

God, same. It feels so weird to be at a party. Let alone with a bunch of people who were supposed to be dead, me one of them.

”Been having a lot of conversations I never thought I would be having here. How about you? I feel like its been months since I've seen you outside of Twelve.”"

I'd watch her closely as if I was inspecting a time bomb, hesitant of what could be coming next. How am I? I wish I knew. I've spent the past few months trapped away in my home, I really should get back out.

"You know, admittedly, I'm the same. Never thought I'd really be surrounded by a few of these people again."

I gave a quick scan around the room to look at all the familiar faces.

"Definitely not something I'm used to. But I guess it's better than
being trapped up in my place, I guess. Cats and a girlfriend can only do so much to a girl."

It admittedly felt weird opening up to Annie like this so quickly, but maybe it's because they knew each other. She watched me die. I watched her win. Maybe that bond is the one that keeps me honest.

If she knew me while I was dead, might as well know me truthful.

[ryan]

Annie was trying to piece things together as the night went on, but now it was all out the window thanks to Hellion Mo. She had done a great job avoiding most people, and she handled the conversations she did have with some people with a certain amount of tact. Except for Nico. That was something she could have done without. 

However, seeing Hell here now made the night seem a bit more fulfilling. Annie could hear the hesitation in her voice, and that gave Annie the relief that she needed. They were alliance members after all. It was easy to tell when they were distressed. 

”It’s a weird feeling. One that I should be used to by now right?”  Annie asked, a light laugh escaping her lips. ”Girlfriend you say?” Annie smirked lightly. She hadn’t been keeping up too much with the 80th tributes in terms of personal life, but she did know a bit. Hellion’s though was always never on her mind. Maybe it was time to change that. ”Well, if you ever want to come visit four, I can vouch for you to come on by. Bette Sublino plans on coming on down actually…” Annie seemed a little remised about that. ”Weirdly enough.”

[arctic]

Admittedly, I don't really know why I didn't just try and hide somewhere for the time being so Harley would think I stayed out. For the most part I wish I did. But something inside of me has been yelling at me to get over the fact that I died. Yes, I was a corpse. Yes, I stopped breathing. Yes, a cannon fired in my name.

No, I am not dead.

I need to be thankful of the time I have here. Harley said it herself. But how can I tell myself I can live on my own if I can't win my own battles?

”It’s a weird feeling. One that I should be used to by now right?” A small laugh came from Annie's lips after that, which I let a small smile in response. ”Girlfriend you say?” Annie let out a slight smirk upon the question. I haven't even told my parents about it. I just told them that I'm tired of feeling like a recently kicked puppy every time I enter the room.

”Well, if you ever want to come visit four, I can vouch for you to come on by. Bette Sublino plans on coming on down actually…” If I were to be honest, the name Bette Sublino was shoved out of my head. I barely remembered anyone from the 80th. A brief thought about spending some time with Annie only made me give a smile. ”Weirdly enough.” Sure is fucking weird. I barely even remember the bitch.

"Yeah, that does sound nice. Thank you." I let out a soft smile at that, shocking given my normal nature, but I haven't been myself for three years now. "Maybe it gives Harley a chance to experience something other than my sad ass sitting at home.." I rumbled for a second.

[ryan]

Annie couldn’t help but feel like this conversation was going somewhere. Believe it or not, she was thankful for that, because after Angel and Nico, she was sure that everything was going to come tumbling down around her. They made it very clear that they weren’t fans of Annie being here, and of course Annie, being the spitfire she was, would let them know that they could kiss her ass.

It was just sad, because Angel really was the person she had gotten closest too in the arena. Now seeing him was hard, because he made it seem like he was out there all alone. Maybe he was. But Annie didn’t want him to continue to think like that. So this meeting with Hellion proved to reinforce that.  She seemed like she was relieved to see Annie, and at the end of the day, that is what she wanted.

Someone to be happy to see her for once, that she hadn’t seen in a long time. ”Well, I have a ton of room at my house, so you are welcomed as well as Harley.” Annie offered to her with a smile ear to ear. It would be a great time for them to catch up and just exist. After all, that is all she wanted for the 80th tributes. ”We could spend the day at the beach and just exist. It sounds lovely just thinking about it.” She offered words coming from a soft place.

It was a nice change for once.

[arctic]

”Well, I have a ton of room at my house, so you are welcomed as well as Harley.” That would be nice... a weekend with Harley and Annie, the '-ees. I suspect it'd be a much better view than the mudpit outside our home and the children running around with toenails dirtier than the graves the Capital steps on. ”We could spend the day at the beach and just exist. It sounds lovely just thinking about it.” And it sounds like she means it too. Maybe she's struggling like I am. She never died, but she could've. She killed for nothing, because they came back. We both are guilty. We both must be pretty lonely, too.

It'd be nice to bring Harley as well. She's the one person that's been my purpose for the past few months. She got me to talk in public whenever I choked up. She got me to leave the drag of a home. She got me to be... well, comforted. I used to hate myself for being Hellion, because I was Hellion. I still am Hellion, but I respect myself much more. She taught me the value of loving someone, and them loving you back.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Harley deserves it too." I almost sounded relieved at the idea of providing back to someone who provided me love and comfort. Not the sticks and stones that I feel like I received from either mom and dad. "Would probably be a nice change to the roaring sea of, well, nothing in District Twelve." God, even the place I live in is depressing.

[ryan]

Annie felt the wave of guilt and anguish pass off of her. It was nice being able to be in a situation for once where she did not leave with a horrible pit in her stomach. Maybe this was a good sign for what was to come for them. Or maybe it was the answer one of them had been looking for? Annie didn’t know, and she wasn’t going to stand her and pretend like she did. At the end of the day, this felt like it was real. For the first time in a while, she felt like she had a genuine connection with someone again.

Of course, Saffron had always been kind to her, and she didn’t really know what to think of Shelby past whatever happened between them. Bette had been cordial, and Angel of course had been a bit rude. Wander always had her back, and she knew that, but she wasn’t sure where she stood with so many others.  ”We all deserve some sort of happiness right?” Annie offered with a soft smile as she tried to dispel the awkwardness between them. ”While there might not be much in twelve, that doesn’t mean there is nothing there. It just comes down to how you look at it right?” Annie spoke with a certain amount of honesty that she hoped Hellion would catch onto. Annie knew she could be blunt, but she thought that Hellion could handle it. 

She had proved that she could before.

[arctic]

Friendship vanished from my eyes as soon as I returned home. Nobody really viewed me as Hellion, or as Hell, or as that one bitch. They saw her as the poor little girl who died but never escaped. They never came to me for advice and they never came to me to help. I was a lost cause, per say, because I lost. Because I should've died. I'm like a ghost in the district. The last time I remember feeling this sense of wantedness, this sense of feeling a genuine friend to friend connection outside of Harley, was with Annie.

”We all deserve some sort of happiness right?" Annie smiled, I smiled. It was true, and it was shocking for me to think such a thing. The little fireball of "I-Hate-The-World-And-It-Hates-Me" that existed before the 80th wouldn't agree. The one who experienced true friendship, lost it with her life, and is now regaining it does. I am so goddamn happy to not be alone anymore, and albeit Harley exists, love is a different front than friendship. ”While there might not be much in twelve, that doesn’t mean there is nothing there. It just comes down to how you look at it right?” Annie attempted to give a small smile and a tone of hope in it. Which, in response, my old brain kicked in.

Yeah, well, luckily for you, you're not the one that has to look at it. How's the beach condo?

"Yeah, that's fair. You grow used to it as you grow older, just definitely not as pretty as an ocean. Home's cozy in the right spots." I gave a look around at all the glamour of the ball. "Definitely more cozy than this new lights show."

[ryan]

Annie didn’t know tact as well as she thought she did. It was a true issue that she could at least admit to herself as she pursed her lips for a moment, and then grabbed two glasses of champagne after. It had been a while since she had down something, and in this moment, the awkwardness was coming back to her. She might have overstepped, which meant it was time to occupy her stupid mouth.

Down the hatch one glass went. She offered the other one to Hellion. ”Yep. Sorry if I sounded entitled there. We might have went through the games together, but that doesn’t mean we come from the same place.” Annie wanted to visually kick herself. ”Ill do better to remember that next time.” Annie sighed, realizing that this might have been the moment she could have fucked it all up. ”Ill never get used to all of this. Its just all so foreign. Ive never felt like I belonged.” She said, frowning and looking away before looking back at her. ”Wow, I really brought down the mood.”

[arctic]

Moments after my comment, Annie takes a drink and downs it like it's her medicine. She had two, so my first thought was that the bitch had spiraled into an alcoholic based depression and needed to refill it, but nope. She was just being thoughtful. Annie offered the second glass to me. I took it, obviously, because nobody would ever decline champagne when its given. At least I wouldn't. I already died once. Take the second life with luxury.

”Yep. Sorry if I sounded entitled there. We might have went through the games together, but that doesn’t mean we come from the same place. Ill do better to remember that next time." Fuck. I feel bad now. She looks like an elderly dog that just got kicked. Not a puppy, because she's clearly not 10. She's aged some ever since the Games. Annie gave a quick sigh, and continued through her parade of embarrassment. ”Ill never get used to all of this. Its just all so foreign. Ive never felt like I belonged. Wow, I really brought down the mood.” Damn. I pursed my lips for a second, because admittedly, I didn't really know what to say. I probably looked like someone found out I stole a cookie from the cookie jar.

"You know, I don't think you should beat yourself up. We all didn't really ask for this." I'd gesture to myself and a few of the other people who had gotten the short end of the stick with the 80th. "I understand what it feels like. I was in the same boat when we were in the games; I never knew what it was like to be a part of a team. I was always the one crazy bitch with Hell in her name." I'd give a small embarrassed smile in order to try and clean up the dirty mood. "Besides, I'm not that great at talking either. It's been quite some time since I've actually had a sophisticated conversation. I'm just glad it's with someone I feel like I have no reason to hide anything from."