Maniac [D5 Train]

[Tom]

Home won't hold his heart anymore.

The pain on his younger sibling's faces. Midas' silence as those eyes stared through the wall he built up. All of his siblings knew what the reaping meant. Ikaros had been taking out tesserae to fed them all for years. There's only so much one teenager could do to feed the mouths of his many younger siblings. His father sure wasn't going to and his mother was out of the question after what happened last time. No one deserved to take the fall for someone she knows.

Vallanso's weren't bartering chips for her fucked up game.

Instead of tears, Ikaros stood tall in front of his siblings, holding his head high and laughing. The only memory he wants them to have is the good parts of him. Memories of the days where he laughed in the kitchen as he prepared their lunches for school, pretending they weren't suffering. Times spent helping with homework or just enjoying life for once. Board game nights spent inside, avoiding the pollution from outside, laughing to the sounds of snake eyes and perfect rolls being made. No drugs in his system, but the genuine happiness that the Vallanso's experienced every so often.

The bad things would fade away over the years. No one wants to remember the times where he was higher than the sky or the years he spent partying and pretending like he was okay, when really he was hiding from his problems. His siblings had seen his father. Worry always made him stress about the times his father tried to act like a father in order to make a quick buck off of them. His siblings had to remember what to do in those situations. They were better than he'll ever be. Ikaros was leaving them behind with nothing else.

He deserved the anger of Midas' words when they finally did fall.

After all, he's a selfish being.

Melody had been the surprise through it all. Beautiful in the way she had always been, but he's never been close to her. She grew up around Minos even tho was much younger than him. Ikaros hadn't seen her in years. Hell, he never wanted to see her after she left him on a porch, alone and freezing. It was his own fault, but she could have at least left him a coat or anything. Her words were harsher than anyone else's words. Minos heavy upon her tongue as if he didn't already know.

Ikaros has signed himself up for death.

Melody didn't have to tell him twice. Except, she did. She told him he was going to die a pitiful death, unless he tried to survive. Unless he held onto the idea of his siblings. Part of him wants to believe her. He wants to believe in a future, but the sounds of crows outside the Justice Building and the message from his father made him not believe it. He argued with her too long about his siblings. Words spilled about how afraid he was for them. How afraid he was for them to no longer have him.

Melody Vallanso walked out.

No words left behind, except to tell Justice Fucking Fray hello from her.

The train is magnificent compared to the brokenness of District Five. Rich items surrounding him, almost making him angrier than before. No cash in his family's pockets. He didn't deserve to be around this. Sticking out like a sore thumb among the people in the train and the items there too. Fingers gently touch one of the silver spoons that costed more than all of the silverware in his own home. The bright colors stick out compared to the dulled ones of District Five, never really feeling comfortable for him.

Instead, he looks to the food of all sorts that he's never had. Food that he would never be able to afford, even with all of the money from his paychecks. A small bite is what he takes from one of the pastries that makes him swoon slightly at the sweetness. Setting it down, he looks to the drinks, where the smell of alcohol fills his nose and for a second he almost dares to drink it, but he didn't need to be drunk right now.

It's only a matter of seconds before his district partner is in the same car. All of them being pushed into this car, where their seats wait, but Ikaros only stands near the window, holding a pastry in his rough hands. Eyes not even leaving the surrounding foliage they zoom past. He can remember the way the girl had volunteered, just like him. Five with two volunteers, unusual, but it could be worse. No smile on his face as he speaks to her, hoping she's noticed him.

"What's your reason to die?"

Home wasn't his home anymore.

Ikaros was a maniac to them.

At least, he'll die knowing he got what he wanted.

Freedom.

[sbeeg]

The train is absolutely heaven. Every surface has a cushion on it- the floors covered in thick plush carpet. There's tables on tables of food. Cakes and pies, cookies and bonbons. Some had long boards of different kinds of cheeses with thin slices of meats along side swathes of mustard and piles of pickles. I grab a piece of toasted, scraping cheese and condiments on it before piling it high with salami and prosciutto.

I slip through the train car stopping at a well stocked bar- colored glass and stained wood. I look through the intricate bottles plucking one out from the back filled with dark colored liquid. I take a swig and immediately gag. I put it back, plucking another bottle and then another until I find one that goes down relatively smooth with a smokey aftertaste.

I wander over to the end of the car where my fellow tribute is brooding over a small pastry. He must see me because when he speaks I can only imagine he's talking to me.

"What's your reason to die?"

I crunch into my bread, spilling a pickle onto the floor and smearing mustard on my upper lip. I chew, thinking about my answer.

I could say it was because I saw two young girls in incredible pain. A family full of sorrow. That I wanted to help them, to keep a family together. I could say because I wanted to die with a purpose.

But my true reason feels so much more shallow than that. I threw my hand up because I'd get out of Five. Because people would know my name and maybe I'd be someone. Not glory per say.

Attention. I did it for the attention.

I snort.

"Not a very good one," I say. I take a swig from my bottle, nearly choking on the burn as it goes down. "What about you?"

I offer him the bottle. He looks like he could use it.

[ celestials ]

[Tom]

"Not a very good one,"

The foliage of trees and fields and all sorts of different things that look nothing like Five anymore fills his vision. The window glares some light through it, but Ikaros ignores the glare as it hits his face. Too rich. Too much. Taking a bigger bite from the pastry, he lets himself savor the flavor, savor the richness, and savor the guilt of getting to have it. He's sure her reason is just as good, if not better than his. He's selfish. She could have done it for those girls from the Lyons family. A chuckle leaves his lips before he sets down the napkin that once held the pastry, licking the edge of his lips, leaving behind no crumbs before sighing.

"What about you?"

A bottle is handed towards him. A solemn moment before he takes it, screwing off the top and letting the strong smell hit his nose. The burn of alcohol reaching his senses before he tilts it back, taking a swig from it. Letting the burn consume him and taking him away from soberness. Wings will form later, when he's bottles in, but for now, he needed to let the feathers stay away. A silence fills him before he turns to take in his district partner. Tristitia Long. A name he's never heard, but maybe that was the point.

"Not a very good one."

Eyes glancing back to the window where he can see his father's eyes staring back at him. THe haunting effect of stress adding to his features again. If he could go grey at the age of seventeen, he would have had a full head of grey hairs already. A silence fills him before he takes another swig of alcohol, letting the burn soothe him before he speaks again.

"Told myself it was to get away from my father, but I don't think it was ever about him."

A weak laugh leaves his lips.

"I was just tired of failing my siblings. Guess you could say, I'm running away from my problems."

Another swig as he stares emptily to nothing in particular.

"How fucked up is that."

[sbeeg]

He takes my offered bottle, turning to the window and glaring out of it. He takes a swig. I feel like I should be watching the whole scene in black and white- or maybe not at all. Maybe he was having a personal moment with this window that I interrupted.

He echoes my sentiment and I wonder if anyone has ever volunteered for a good reason. I don't keep track of the games, not like some of the kids at school. Some people know every tribute that's ever lived- their token, their family that was interviewed, their siblings that have followed them into the arena and died as well. I hardly remember my own district's victors names.

"Told myself it was to get away from my father, but I don't think it was ever about him.
I was just tired of failing my siblings. Guess you could say, I'm running away from my problems.

He laughs bitterly and takes another drink.

"How fucked up is that."

I pause, looking out the window but seeing only scenery instead of the vision that is clearly haunting my train partner.

"Not that bad," I say, grabbing the bottle out of his hand. I brought it to share not for him to hog. I take a swig, stuttering as the liquid burns my throat. I've done worse. Like one time I accidentally hit a baby in the face- that's fucked up."

It had truly been an accident, and if anything I gave the kid a cute little upturned nose.

"I bet you've done way more fucked up things," I say, taking another drink before pushing it towards him, hoping more whiskey or vodka or whatever the fuck it is will loosen his lips. "Come on spill the beans before we die."

[ celestials ]