from the grave, a letter — reggie.
Feb 20, 2020 15:43:24 GMT -5
Post by sidney on Feb 20, 2020 15:43:24 GMT -5
Nico —
In the face of death, I find myselflov hating you. Not because of what you are now, or rather who: a boy I barely recognize, a man you never should have been forced to become. But this is what you wanted, isn’t it? This is what you’ve been begging for since the moment you could speak. Though I don’t think you wanted to win. No, you wanted to die. You wanted absolution in its purist form. You wanted death and now death is all you are. Every step you take is coated in it. And that cloud that perpetually hangs above your head casts the worst shadows.
But it wasn’t until now that I understood. And I find myself hating you for it as I sit atop the roof you showed me just a few hours ago writing this. It wasn't until death came knocking that I could really see, not until the night before I enter my own games and follow your same footsteps that it finally became clear. I would rather die than wake up tomorrow. I would rather cease to exist than become yet another statistic for the history books, just like my great, great grandfather. Another Blume dead and forgotten.
You know, I promised myself in that mine that I would do something with my life. That my brothers and my father dying wouldn’t be for nothing, that surviving would mean I would live. And I wanted to do that with you. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Here I am, with broken promises, shattered dreams, and nowhere left to go. I may as well just die tonight, with one last fuck you. I wish I was brave enough, like you. If the roles were switched, I bet you could do it. You’ve always been strong, Nico. And I need you to be after I’m gone.
Take care of Taylor, she’ll need you more than you know. Forgive your mother because she’s all you have left. But please forgive yourself. It’s not your fault. None of it is. This is their world, and we just live in it. That’s the way it’s always been and how it will always be. Still, I’m sorry. For treating you like shit this past year. Time is fleeting and life is so, so short—it was a waste and I’ll never forgive myself.
Nico, just remember me in the clearing, on the patch of grass atop our hill overlooking Twelve. On a clear day with the sun high in the sky. Just before a hunt. I’ll see you there again. I promise.
Be happy, for me.
Love,
Reggie
In the face of death, I find myself
But it wasn’t until now that I understood. And I find myself hating you for it as I sit atop the roof you showed me just a few hours ago writing this. It wasn't until death came knocking that I could really see, not until the night before I enter my own games and follow your same footsteps that it finally became clear. I would rather die than wake up tomorrow. I would rather cease to exist than become yet another statistic for the history books, just like my great, great grandfather. Another Blume dead and forgotten.
You know, I promised myself in that mine that I would do something with my life. That my brothers and my father dying wouldn’t be for nothing, that surviving would mean I would live. And I wanted to do that with you. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Here I am, with broken promises, shattered dreams, and nowhere left to go. I may as well just die tonight, with one last fuck you. I wish I was brave enough, like you. If the roles were switched, I bet you could do it. You’ve always been strong, Nico. And I need you to be after I’m gone.
Take care of Taylor, she’ll need you more than you know. Forgive your mother because she’s all you have left. But please forgive yourself. It’s not your fault. None of it is. This is their world, and we just live in it. That’s the way it’s always been and how it will always be. Still, I’m sorry. For treating you like shit this past year. Time is fleeting and life is so, so short—it was a waste and I’ll never forgive myself.
Nico, just remember me in the clearing, on the patch of grass atop our hill overlooking Twelve. On a clear day with the sun high in the sky. Just before a hunt. I’ll see you there again. I promise.
Be happy, for me.
Love,
Reggie
