a new beginning {marr}

[Knuckles]

A soft grin spreads across his face as he watches the clouds float through the sky hiding the sun periodically. One of his favorite things is lying on the ground with his hands tucked behind his head. It reminds him of his childhood when he ran free without a care in the world, but now Faux finds himself wondering what his life would've been like had his name never been drawn.

It's been four years, and so much has changed, and even to this day, he's continuing to figure out who he is.

Focusing on small tasks has become easier, yet his mind still wanders relentlessly making it hard to even remember why he's doing what he started. So much changed the moment that weapon smacked into his skull sending him into another world temporarily.

But now he's here trying to make his way in life. Sometimes he'll follow his brothers into the fields and work with them because he wants to have his own way in life. He wants a family and a place to call his own.

He just doesn't know how to get there.

Why would anyone want to spend time with him? He sees the how people look at him. He should've died, death burst through his door, but at the last moment a guardian angel reached down picking him up from the ground and giving him another chance. It's never happened before, and now he's wondering why.

Every human has a purpose in life, and now Faux wonders what his is.

Why was he given a second chance?

A heavy sigh leaves his chest as he forces himself into a standing position wiping the dirt from his back.

Maybe he can find a friend, someone to talk to. Someone who can understand his struggles. Someone to help him get back on his feet and find his place in the world as it slowly moves forward without him. So much has changed, and now he's struggling to figure out which way to go. Most of the time he waits until the sun has gone down to even show his face to the great outdoors.

Today is different.

And maybe that's the first step he needs.

Living in a world without anyone by his side is taking away from the life he once enjoyed, and it serves as a reminder that no matter what happens, he's an outcast trying to find his way.

Yet he takes a step forward, and then takes another one. Today is a new beginning, and Faux plans on making the best of it no matter how hard it truly is.

---

table by Kaplan

art credit: Kap's photoshop work

[*]

Use of body language was a lie. The old woman's words was nothing short of a fable as the days go by. More and more I seem to get looks and not understanding though it seems as though some days are better than others. Except for today. Even the hot steam from the shower couldn't help the dull ache in my throat and try as I might, the only thing that seems to escape is whispered squeaks. Tears had formed in my eyes for the umpteenth time in the last few months and as I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but try to be positive about the situation. I practiced the smile in the mirror. The words on my hands as they danced in the air.

Practice is perfect! And I place my hand against my cheek and close my eyes for the few moments before I hear my oldest sister call out to me. She beckons me to her room where I stand in the doorway and as she takes notice of me, her mouth does nothing but move a million miles an hour about what tasks are meant for today. I can't interject her or interrupt her barrage of words. I simply stand there and let her finish because I can't do anything else.

"Did you hear me, Ariel? Go to the market and get something for tonight. Whatever looks fresh. Father's dinner tonight is special. You mustn't be late. Go it?" I nod to her and I know why she tends to send me out to these missions and that's because I don't make small talk with the towns people. How can someone whose voice no longer exist actually carry on a conversation with a normal person?

A show of hands puts forth a question to her in one easy movement as my index and middle finger rub against my thumb.

Money? I asked the only way I knew how. Tapping herself on the forehead, she reaches into her purse and pulls out a wad of cash and I scurry along to head to town.

The beautiful day ahead is such a welcomed surprise for me. Too much rain had been in our forecast for a while, but today it almost makes my aching throat feel better just to get this sunshine. Instead of words coming out, I voice out one of my favorite songs. In my head, I can hear the sound of what my voice used to be. What melody that I used to carry and it feels nice to do this sometimes.

I know it's still a good way to town but someone is in the way of my path and his back is to me. I can't say anything to pass him, as he seems to be going at a slower pace, so I just try to edge over to the drop off a bit so I don't scare him. A simple glance and a smile is given as well as a dainty wave as I pass him.

[Knuckles]

A gentle breeze floats through the air ruffling his hair along. Some leaves scurry across the ground, and all Faux wants is to chase after them like so many times before. Balance is key, and his balance isn't the best anymore. It took a lot of work to even walk upright without having to hold onto anything.

He sighs allowing his head to slouch forward.

Sometimes he wants to go back to the life he knew before the games. A life filled with singing and dancing and happiness. It was nothing for Faux to walk down the streets dancing along to the music him and his friends created. Many didn't like it, hell, even those in the Capitol didn't like it, but it didn't matter because it's the world he chose to live in.

Sometimes his eyes fixate on those glaring at him with every step he takes. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't walk through the streets of district eleven anymore. He should've died the moment that kid split his skull open. Everyone knows it, even his friends, and they won't even talk to him anymore. Harbinger still thinks he's a doppelgänger of sorts.

Yet he pushes it all away because today is a new day, and all he wants is to make a name for himself in a place where nobody wants him.

The sound of footsteps grow closer, but Faux keeps his eyes locked on the ground below, and it isn't until the person passes in front of him he lifts his head. She's smiling and waving, and for a second he's just staring at her unsure of what to do. Many people he encounter go on their way pretending they don't notice him. This is a first, and it causes him to come to a standstill.

Running his fingers through his scruffy beard, Faux offers a grin and a soft wave unsure of what to do next because a knot sits in the back of his throat keeping the words behind it. Fear of being made fun of, and fear of her laughing at him keeps him from speaking. Yet he gulps trying to find the best of it all.

"H..H..Hey." His gaze lowers back to the ground unsure if she heard him or not. Sometimes his efforts are futile, and maybe they are here too. "S...so...sorr...y" But what is he sorry for? Walking in her way? Talking to her?

He doesn't know, but it's the only thing he can say when no other words form.

---

table by Kaplan

art credit: Kap's photoshop work