casper song || district three

[ᴥ]

{entitled ** intelligent ** dumbass}

[ᴥ]

now   i    d o n ' t    care

In life you should only take what you deserve.

How wonderful, then, that he deserves it all.

He considers himself a diamond covered in coal dust: brilliant in spite of the grime laid three coats deep. Wanting is something he knows well, for as long as he's lived Casper has hungered. His family, one far larger than their pockets were deep, tried their best to provide for him. Doe eyes and a fragile build had hoisted him atop the patriarchal hierarchy, since he was born they'd adored him.

If only that were enough.

Maybe once he'd been so weak that he deserved their attention. After all, he had never been defined by his strength. None of that mattered. There was nothing Casper hated more than sharing. Call it pride, call it greed; whatever sin festered in his core he'd let it consume him.

He was quick, then, to make sure that he always somehow stumbled into the spotlight.

It wasn't that he didn't love. Red ribbon knotted itself flush against his throat whenever he kissed his mother upon her sunken cheeks and told her to get some rest. He craved the molten amber of his father's prideful gaze. Knowing that it was his, and only his, just somehow made it taste sweeter. Affection is fickle by nature, he gives and he takes only as he pleases.

They couldn't make him feel small, no matter how hard they tried. Casper was quick of wit and sharp of tongue, he could solve any puzzle one dared to place at his feet. At the very least he could hide the bruises left by those he didn't beneath baggy sweaters. Appearing perfect was far more important than the actual thing. Good grades and lips stained with cherry gloss were more than enough to make the others think him worthy.

Because he is. Casper is worthy. And even if he's not he's hidden it so well that it's rendered the rest of them blind and deaf. He hates it when they look at him. Because he's scared there's some things he just can't hide well enough.

He likes to stay at home. Not because crowds tend to make him nervous, no, they merely grate on his nerves. His pain tolerance is as short as his patience. There's no reason to subject himself to such suffering, especially when that terrible twin of his seems to seek enough chaos for the both of them. Corey made it easy, really, to play the part of a polished pearl when he's so busy rolling around in the mud.

He doesn't hate him, not exactly, but there's no red ribbon tied around his neck when he thinks of his brother.

It's much more fun to lose himself within the pages of a good book than even try to untangle that mess of emotion. He's not particularly good at those and anything that doesn't come naturally doesn't deserve his attention. There's no point in trying to improve upon perfection. And Casper is perfect, he promises.

His friends are few and far between. They don't tend to stick around for long so it's lucky Casper doesn't bother caring much about them. He's lonely, that's a fact. There's only so much respite to be found within your own mind. If he had the choice he probably would have chased himself away too. He's found that he can stand his own company least of all. But being alone isn't so bad, it's nowhere near as hollow as those pretentious poems he'd read would have you believe.

He loves to play games almost as much as he loves to win them. It's good then, that he can't remember ever losing. Picking battles is unnecessary when you are merely better than you competition. Even if they don't believe him when he says that, actions speak louder than words. It's typical. Greatness is never recognized by small minds. A house of cards is beautiful, no matter how fragile it might be.

It doesn't matter that he's living in fear of the breeze.

Casper is strong, even if he isn't. And he is a diamond no matter how much he looks like coal.

CASPER SONG

[ᴥ]

lance come get ur brother

[lance]

ur gonna drown me with that amazing writing of urs and im gonna love every second of it uwu