I will carry you always . charade

[cass]

o p a l .

"Let it lead your love away
I never strayed
Let it bury you away
In all your blame, in all your pain
I will carry you always"

The final canon had sounded days ago and Beck Hailsham had been crowned the newest victor to enter their ranks. She could vaguely remember what it had been like, but as so many had told her time faded those memories. It was only in her dreams where she lived them in the most vivid details. But even then, the dreams were starting to feel less impactful, more exhausting than anything. It didn’t hurt, thinking about it like it once had. There was an almost hopeful feeling growing inside of her, that maybe, just maybe she had finally learnt how to cope, how to let go of all of it. It was a remarkable feeling.

Beck was seventeen years old. She had won her games before Beck had even been born. Twenty years it had been, twenty years these very games, she realised. It had been a long time. Twenty years, she mused. It was not the time to think too much into it. She had promised Ky she’d do her very best to be a happier person. Happier people did not think about people who had died twenty years ago, they did not think about what dreams and aspirations they would have achieved since their deaths. They didn’t think about what kind of people they’d have fallen in love with, what their fam-

Stop.

With a heavy sigh she pressed the up arrow for the elevator. It was almost time for her and Ky to head back to District one for another year before the next quell. She knew what was expected of her when she arrived back in district one. She would not ignore the threat the Capitol had sent her way, therefore she’d be taking a very proactive approach to the careers and future tributes. But as usual, with a quell coming up she had no idea what was going to happen. What a year to be thrust back into the mess she had tried to escape.

The elevator arrived with a familiar ding, and she stepped inside, pressing the button to the 11th floor. Up there were a number of incredible victors. All of which had been cared for and protected by Katelyn. It was a remarkable feat to have achieved what she had, no career district had ever managed it. Opal knew it was one of the reasons why she had been tortured, but she would not bring up that topic. Not today, not when she was about to say goodbye for the next year. The elevator halted, and the doors slid open to reveal the 11th floor of the Training Centre. Opal stepped off, making her way over to the door she had been informed was Katelyn’s.

She knocked on the door, ready to say goodbye and hopeful of what was to come for their future.

[charade]

District four. Well, that was unexpected.

Katelyn made a mental note to deliver a congratulatory basket to Annie. Lord knew that girl needed some friends. With the games having drawn to a close, it’d be time to head home soon. At least until it all started again. Of course, there was a quell next year, which meant some sort of extra nonsense, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

She had always looked forward to the end of the games, every fiber of her being screaming to go home, to get away from the cold sterility of the Capitol and get back to familiarity. To the warmth and sunshine of district eleven. To hear the wind rustling through the wheat and corn fields instead of the bustle of Style street. And yet, this year, she wasn’t looking forward to it as much. Not when going home meant being so far away from—

There was a knock at the door, and Katelyn nearly had a heart attack. She checked the chocolate chip cookies in the oven; the timer had another minute on it. But she still had to finish frosting the lemon buttercream cake. The kitchen was in disarray. The counter was covered in the aftermath of her early morning, here an open bag of chocolate chips, there a mixing bowl with leftover raw cookie dough.

Eggshells in the sink that hadn't quite gone down the disposal and a half a dozen baking implements. Tracers of flour were everywhere,including her apron and her hands as she quickly wiped them off. Her compact mirror told her that her lipstick was okay, but did her hair look alright? After making certain that her bandana was fastened securely, she opened the door, feeling a rising giddiness. When was the last time she’d actually looked forward to something?

“Opal,” she breathed, daring to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. “Good morning! Come in, I’m just getting ready for the train.”

The timer beeped, and then the next one. Cue internal screaming.

“Uh, Opal, would you mind taking that tray of cookies out of the oven?” She asked frantically as she snatched up the tube of frosting and went back to decorating the cake. She was running out of time here, and there was so much more to get done over the course of the day. “There should be mitts in the drawer to the right of it. “The cake was only half-covered. How had she let the time get away from her? Normally she was on top of things. Then again, she reminded herself, she’d fallen behind on paperwork on account of their excursion the other day.

“How’s Ky?” she asked as she formed tiny flowers on the cake. “And how are you? Ready to be back in One?” It was blissful, the way someone’s presence could make her feel like she was on top of the world.

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[cass]

o p a l .

"Let it lead your love away
I never strayed
Let it bury you away
In all your blame, in all your pain
I will carry you always"

The door opened to reveal a woman dressed in an apron, flour dotted her clothes, and Opal felt herself smile as she took her in. It was a scene from one of those romance shows that often were filtered across the screens in the Capitol. She understood why they were so appealing, she found herself swept away by how cute Katelyn looked, and how welcoming and warm the world suddenly felt in her presence.

Katelyn ducked forwards as she welcomed her into the apartment, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. This was a new world Opal was stepping into, her last relationship had been big, quick and deadly. What she hoped to get from her new one was something slow, peaceful and that lasted for the rest of her life. As soon as Katelyn finished speaking her timer went off, sending her into a hurry to fetch her baking goods before they burnt. Opal laughed as Katelyn rushed back, dashing towards the first source of beeping whilst directing Opal to the second.

“I’m on it!” She declared as she moved towards the drawer that Katelyn had directed her to. She found them easily, slipping them on before opening the oven and pulling out the tray of cookies. The smell of freshly baked cookies had her mouth-watering, they looked absolutely divine, she would have to ask Katelyn if she could take one with her, and maybe another for Ky as well. She was sure he’d love it. Placing the tray down she turned to watch as Katelyn had already moved to a cake that was half decorated.

“How’s Ky? And how are you? Ready to be back in One?”

Opal leaned forwards, resting her arms on the bench as Katelyn began piping beautiful little flowers onto the cake's surface. She moved with a steady hand that showed years of experience, she’d be a good gardener, Opal thought. The care she showed to each decoration was the same kind of gentleness you needed amongst sprouting seedlings and delicate foliage. Opal hoped that one day they could garden together, perhaps even have their own garden, and Katelyn could teach her to bake and decorate cakes to look as beautiful as she did.

“He thinks he’s being sneaky, running around the Capitol, thinking I don’t know,” she smiled, shaking her head in mock disappointment. “He seems…” She paused, biting her lip as she stared at Katelyn’s hands, watching as they moved methodically around the cake. “He seems happy,” there was a gentle fondness to her voice that spoke of her pride and her love. She knew that they’d both left One with a lighter feeling after Potato’s anniversary.

As for herself, well that was a tricky question. She was relieved to return to her sanctuary and her home, but now she had something she was leaving behind. Opal moved around the side of the bench until she was beside Katelyn, there was a bowl of the remaining frosting that hadn’t made it into the piping bag. Opal scooped up a blob with her finger, turning to face Katelyn. “Tricky question, I don’t know how I’ll be able to do this when I’m back in One,” with a cheeky grin she smeared the finger with icing along Katelyn’s cheek and onto her lips. 

[charade]

It made her happy to see Opal in her kitchen; it wasn’t something she could really describe. Love didn’t fix every problem, didn’t erase the weight of the past, but goddamn if it didn’t make her feel better to know someone was there for her. The sound of Opal’s tinkling laughter made her heart sing. The cookies would take several minutes to cool, but once they did, she had a basket lined up for them, though she wondered if she should send a few with Opal. There were always leftovers anyway.

And still so much to do! She hoped her herb garden was doing alright in her absence. When she got back to eleven, it’d be the first thing she checked on, then the bakery. But after that she’d need to check on Vasco and his clan. It was too much for one family to have to go through. She listened as she decorated. So Ky was a sneaky one? Enjoying the sights of the Capitol? Getting up to mischief? Stealing kisses perhaps? Ah, to be a teenager again.

Ky resembled his father Potato a lot. She remembered his father well, he’d been one of eleven’s tributes only two years before she’d won, and as eleven had had no living mentors before her, he’d been one of the tributes whose journey she’d frantically studied, hoping that anything she could learn anything would help keep her alive. She liked to think that it had helped. And thinking of family...

Katelyn glanced at Opal and then back to the cake wondering what her family was like. On the one hand, she assumed that most of the parents in One were into career training, but to have produced someone like Opal, the Shores couldn’t be all bad. From what she gathered, the Shores were among the upper crust. She’d have to ask about them at some point.

“Tricky question—” she heard her say, and she turned back just in time for Opal to smear lemon buttercream on her lips. She squawked in undignified surprise, taking a step backwards. “— I don’t know how I’ll be able to do this when I’m back in One.”

Katelyn collected herself and smiled devilishly, slowly licking the frosting off her lips. “I see,” she began, before lunging forward and clenching the piping bag in front of Opal’s face, decorating her nose with a dollop. “Guess I won’t be able to do that either, which is a shame, because you look cute in yellow.” she beamed. 

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[cass]

o p a l .

"Let it lead your love away
I never strayed
Let it bury you away
In all your blame, in all your pain
I will carry you always"

Katelyn licked her lips and Opal couldn’t stop herself from finding her gaze drawn to the movement. She almost reached upwards, instinct wanting her to touch those lovely lips she had kissed not too long ago. Perhaps that had been a tactic of Katelyn’s, she took that moment of distraction, thrusting her piping bag into Opal’s face. The buttercream assault had her giggling and childish delight as she tried to thwart Katelyn’s attempt to get her. She reeled backward trying to escape the attack, but Katelyn was too quick and she laughed as the cold substance landed on her nose. She tried vainly to reach the mess with her tongue, but it barely reached her nose let alone the smearing of sweet cream covering it.

There were a lot of things they wouldn’t be able to do together over the next year. She was thankful she had her victor phone- she did, but she had lost all the numbers to the victors a long time ago when she had swapped to writing letters. It was a quick decision on her behalf to stop writing from this point onwards, she couldn’t care less if the Capitol heard her through the phone talking to Katelyn. Opal couldn’t go another year not hearing that voice, she had already spent too long without it.

”So,” she said with a coy smile, she stepped back, looking Katelyn up and down with an appraising eye. “What’s a girl got to do around here to get a phone number?” She asked, sending Katelyn a wink. She could feel the heat crawl up her neck and across her cheeks, is this what it was supposed to be like? Making yourself feel a little foolish as you tried your best to impress the person you loved? It sure did feel that way, and the blushing cheeks sure made it look that way.

What did it matter? Beneath that moment of awkwardness that burned on her face was a warmth that spread right to her very core. It didn’t matter, not really, not when there was this happiness that swallowed them inside the apartment. The outside world felt non-existent in these kinds of moments when it was just the two of you. She was too old to feel foolish for these kinds of things, she had done so much in her life to be more ashamed of then flirting with her girlfri-

Girlfriend.

Was that the right word?

It had to be. Was she supposed to ask that? Surely once you’d declared your love you were in some kind of relationship. Her jaw dropped open, her thoughts playing across her face like an open book.  “Are you-are we-are-” she sputtered, tripping over the words her last question long forgotten in her mind. “You know, like the thing- a relationship, um…” She paused, running a hand through her hair, she looked at Katelyn with a shy smile.

“Girlfriend,” she said.

[charade]

There was something very endearing about the schoolyard way that Opal was flirting. Winking and cheekily asking for her phone number like they were awkward teenagers. Maybe at heart they still were. How many of their peers could say that they’d grown past the kid they were when they’d been forced to kill to go home. Murder left a stain on all their souls. It changed a person, watching the light leave someone’s eyes and knowing that it was your hand that had extinguished it.

It changed a person, to send children to follow in your footsteps and watch them come home in coffins, year after year. All of them had been broken in one way or another, and only a few of them had found a salve to heal those wounds. She had hoped, but had still been shocked when her mentoring style had actually helped guide Kirito home. Harbinger too. She’d fought tooth and nail at the time, despite Arbor’s insistent warnings to do otherwise.

More than a few times, she’d wondered if all those cold nights in the arena had killed a few of her brain cells, or if there was something else wrong with her head. Was it natural to be as oblivious as she had been? Love, romance, attraction, none of those things had ever come to her easily. Several times over the course of her life, she’d misread kindness for interest, labelled attraction as someone just being friendly. She’d been frequently wrong about people’s intentions, wrapped up in a ball of anxiety and paranoia.

Men or women, it was always confusing. Hell, back when she was seventeen she’d thought Marc was sending her signals in the training center before realizing he was just being nice. Friends. Best friends? Should Opal have been waving a giant flag with the words I love you written in large block letters? Katelyn felt pretty stupid about it, though eternally grateful that she’d gotten a second chance.

For Katelyn, Love, if that was what it was, was like lightning and thunder in a storm. Blazing, loud in short bursts, followed by soothing intermittent showers for as long as it took the clouds to find their rhythm again. Katelyn turned the question over in her head. Were they? Could they be considered an item after a single night of emotional healing? Opal had loved her from afar for so long and she was just now discovering those feelings for herself.

Girlfriends?

“I’ll be yours if you be mine,” she said timidly, blushing as she gathered up the cookies to dole them out into small baskets. She stepped closer to Opal and looked down at her apologetically. “Just— do you forgive me for making you wait so long?”

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[cass]

o p a l .

"Let it lead your love away
I never strayed
Let it bury you away
In all your blame, in all your pain
I will carry you always"

She’d never really been able to call Potato her boyfriend. It had been a whirlwind of love, lust, and desire. Frayed rope over the edge of a canyon that they had clung to. It had all moved too fast, and before she had even known what to do with herself she was calling him her husband, she was calling herself a widow, she was calling herself a mum. But boyfriend? That stage had been wiped away without a trace of it. She hardly knew how relationships worked, you couldn’t call her first one a success. There had been no time to build, grow, and blossom, they had had no arguments to fight their way through, no kisses to send one another on their way to work.

She couldn’t remember how many times she had dreamed of the simple things. The moments when you stop by as they’re reading a book and brush a kiss on their forehead. Or working in the kitchen together to cook a meal. The first few years had left her yearning for that, feeling like she had completed all the chapters of a relationship: love, life, death, but nothing of the goodness that filled the pages.

There was hope in her heart as Katelyn responded. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted this. Even if she still couldn’t have that normal relationship she’d always dreamed of, she knew that this one could be better than those dreams. She wanted it to be, she wanted the little things, phone calls to talk about their days. She’d never had a chance to ask Potato how his day was. And dates? She wanted roses and flowers and chocolates and someone to say happy birthday to someone other than Ky. She wanted embraces that lasted the cold winter nights and kisses that brushed her forehead as she woke up in the morning.

”Do you forgive me for making you wait so long?” Katelyn had stepped closer, looking down at Opal with an apologetic smile. Could she forgive Katelyn? There was nothing to forgive. There never had been. Opal was the one who should apologise, and apologise a thousand times over. She knew eventually she would ask Katelyn, but at this moment she did not have it in her. It was not a topic she wanted to discuss, next year, she could do it next year. She could ask Katelyn if she had ever blamed her, if she had thought for just a moment that if Opal had known her so well she would have tried to save her. Why hadn’t Opal tried to reach out?

Opal Earnest was a coward. She’d realised that some time ago. She was far too scared of what Katelyn might say, so she did not ask.

“You’ve never had anything to be sorry about, Katelyn. There’s nothing to forgive.” She moved back a step, looking past Katelyn’s shoulder and to the oven. Next year, she told herself. So she plastered on a smile and spun away from Katelyn moving over to the chocolate chip cookies. “Is there at least one or two I could possibly steal from you?”

[charade]

Katelyn had an inkling that there was something Opal wasn’t saying, but she dared not pry. Too much of this was new to her and she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. It was enough to know that nothing was being held against her. In any case, she found herself loving every time she saw Opal smile. Katelyn grinned impishly in return. “Why Miss Earnest, are you just using me to get to my pastries?” She held a hand to her chest in mock surprise before taking one of the small baskets and pushing it carefully into her hands.

“There, half a dozen. And— “she said, pulling open a drawer and taking out a little notepad and pen. She scribbled her digits down, and fastened the paper to the basket with a pin. “I’ve got a much longer train ride ahead of me than you do, remember that if you decide to call soon.” Speaking of which, Katelyn turned around to check the clock over the oven. Only an hour and a half until the train left. Katelyn bit her lip in contemplation. She was still meaning to congratulate Annie on a successful mentorship, and maybe pop in on a few other people too.

But despite the schedule she was trying to keep to, she was distracted by Opal’s very being. They were standing too close together. Katelyn gently ran her hand up Opal’s arm and gave in to the desire to kiss her. She couldn’t resist those lips for too long. “Opal,” she said breathily, just an inch away from her face. “I—” She pressed her lips to hers and held her against the counter, not fiercely, just with a want, a need. She let her gaze drift over Opal’s neck and then up to meet her eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”

There were some things she could picture, showing Opal around her bakery, or around the garden. Introducing her to Vasco. Picking cherries and peaches, walking the paths around the fields. The image of Potato’s headstone came into her head and worried her for a moment. She didn’t know what Opal and Potato had had between them and she didn’t want to cast a shadow on that. However, she could tell just by Opal’s demeanor that she wasn’t playing second fiddle to a ghost. Or at least she hoped so.

“I don’t want to wait a whole year to see you again, but that’s life right?”

It was life. Life was strange sometimes.

She never thought she’d have a reason to look forward to coming to the Capitol.

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[cass]

o p a l .

"Let it lead your love away
I never strayed
Let it bury you away
In all your blame, in all your pain
I will carry you always"

Katelyn seemed to hesitate for the briefest of moments, or Opal thought she had. She wondered if she would push Opal, but she didn’t, seemingly shaking off her own uncertainty in favour of embracing the joy of the moments they were spending together. Laughing at Katelyn’s comment she brought herself closer, following Katelyn’s movements as she grabbed a small basket, delicately woven, made of a soft light wood. It was a beautiful basket, and she hoped she’d remember to bring it back next year, perhaps even get it refilled with some of Katelyn’s delicious cookies.

The numbers she scribbled on the page were familiar, it was that same hand writing she had admired every time she had received a letter in the mail from Katelyn. Ten years later and there was no way she could forget her writing. It was ingrained in her mind, the one thing she had held of Katelyn’s back in One. She had drawers full of letters from Katelyn and Mace, a few here and there from Saffron. They remained there, where she kept them organised, and protected, and pulled them out on days she felt wistful and in need of an embrace.

“I’ve got a much longer train ride ahead of me than you do, remember that if you decide to call soon.” It was not really something she had ever thought about. She knew it took quite a long time to get to district eleven from one, the journey to and from always left her exhausted. It was just a fact in her life, but for Katelyn it was a reminder of where she came from.

Fingers ran up her arm, and she shivered at the touch, finding her skin awakening and littering itself with a covering of goosebumps. Not too long after she found Katelyn in front of her face, breathing out her name in a way that made Opal want to moan hers in response. She bit her lip, fighting back her urge to push Katelyn onto the nearest bed. Instead settled for the kiss that Katelyn soon planted on her lips, but found herself left unsatisfied as it lasted little more than a few seconds. She supposed she’d have to wait until she saw her again, and then she would be able to kiss her once more with the same passion they’d shared by the docks.

”I’m going to miss you too, Katelyn.” She followed up with a gentle kiss to Katelyn’s neck, letting her lips linger for a moment against her skin before she pulled away. “It’ll go faster than you think, and I’ll be waiting for you at the train station when you return,” she said, moving to grab the basket of cookies. Her train would be arriving within the next half hour, and she knew that the Capitolities were not friendly when it came to late victors.

Katelyn walked her to the door and Opal couldn’t resist kissing her once more, a longer, lasting kiss that she hoped conveyed her desires.

“Get home safely, my love.”

[End Thread]