my necessary friend | enzo.
May 1, 2020 5:07:30 GMT -5
Post by ✨ on May 1, 2020 5:07:30 GMT -5
I feel stupid.
Standing at this dumb fucking gate, still too much of a chicken to walk through it. Partly it's knowing I'm a big dumb coward, partly it's the lingering knowledge of what happened to my sisters when they found Saffron, and partly I'm just embarrassed. What am I supposed to say? Just waltz on up to the front door and walk on in like I'm family or something?
Well, yeah. But-
It's something that Clementa, well, her ghost, said to me that I just can't shake. Or it was more the way she said it. You don't need to be angry. Maybe it's a trap, maybe there's a Capitolite sniper up on a roof somewhere waitin' for me to push the gate open, but that stuck with me. I've been so angry for so long and now I'm just empty, forgetting who I was supposed to be mad at in the first place.
Or maybe I'm just a big ol' wuss with dead sisters and Dad was right, I shouldn't go poking my nose in other people's business. But I'm not angry anymore, I'm just curious. There's been a big ol' hole in my heart since I was eleven years old and I want to see if I can start to fill it up again. I might fail, this might be a huge and terrible no-good idea, but it doesn't hurt to try, right?
I guess, but there's something stopping me, so I just stare and stare and stare through the bars of the fence around the Victor's Village, hands in my pockets, waiting to be noticed. Waiting to be wanted. Waiting to be part of something I've lost.
Waiting to be found, I guess.