A Letter For You. [OPEN if anyone wants to join]

[bakabekkers]

' T o p h e r

"Sometimes its not the strength
but gentleness that cracks
the hardest shells."

Dearest Katrina

Not a day goes by without me thinking of you, and the time we have wasted together. You left too soon, and that pain aches within me every single day. The time wasn't wasted, though, I just hope you would've realized that. I haven't quite been the same since you passed. It happened too fast. I felt like we had finally discovered our true potential together.

I took up extra training sessions in the career center. You of all people would be proud of the skills I am learning everyday. I truly feel like I have a warriors spirit in my blood. Don't worry, though. I'm still the sweet boy you once knew, that part of me will never change, I hope you know that. Anyways, my glaive has started to feel more like an extension of my arm, as opposed to a clunk of steel in my hand. There isn't a single person in the training center who can match up against me when I use it. I've resorted to using other things as well, mainly spears. I hit a target dead in the heart from over 100 yards away the other day! 

Since you've left, I am shameful to admit to you that I've let the evil that once consumed my father, consume me. It was the worst in the first few weeks. I saw a bottle of gin, and gave in. I wanted to be numb, I was without one of the most important people in my life.. We've known each other since I can remember, my love for you was deeper than just a lust, you made life itself bearable for me. For that, I will always be thankful for you. I'm sorry. I know you would be disappointed to hear that I have drank since you passed. The last bottle was barely a quarter empty before I smashed it off the wall, I told the devil to leave, and for the second time, I won. Can you believe that?

Sophie is alright, I've made sure of it. I get her from school everyday, and bring her to your mother. Sometimes, I stay for dinner with the two. We share a common pain. I wish your father was here to help, he's a real piece of crap. I know you hated when I'd say that, but who could abandon their family? Your dark brown hair, and dirty face from playing in the dirt.. I still remember that day. I was so scared to approach you, and ask to play. We were only 4 or 5, but gosh that seems like yesterday, Kat. I miss you so much, I hope you can see this.

Topher sighed, and put down his quill. The neat penmanship sprawled the lines of the loose leaf paper like musical notes. Neatly sprawled, every letter precise and sharp. The way Topher liked it. He didn't plan on keeping this letter. He sealed it in a bottle, sealing the top like an air locked chamber. He hoped somebody would find it one day, and be able to read his sorrows. For a new plague entered into Topher Valentines life, the death of his lifelong friend, and lover, Katrina. It happened two months ago, but the pain is just as intense as it was two days after it happened. 

His chest was tight, he swirled his jacked around his shoulders, guiding his lanky arms through the creases of the leather jacket. He laced up his loafers, and started out the door. The bottle was hanging neatly out of the pocket of his jacket, he tucked it in with his hand, smiling at it. His mind filled with happy thoughts of him and Kat, sharing special bonds with their so limited time on this earth. Topher swore that if Kat ever got reaped he would volunteer to save her life. That wont ever happen, and Topher was kind of relieved in a way. Sad, but relieved that he wouldn't have to try and save somebodies life.

It was high tide, and the waves were sweeping in like tufts of hair falling down somebody's head. Tophers face was grim, and solemn. His heart heavy and pounding so loud that he thought the man out on his boat would hear it. He knelt down at the shoreline, and pulled the bottle out. He stared at it for a few moments, contemplating his decision. "I hope god himself swoops down and personally hand delivers this to you, Kat". Topher pressed his lips against the bottle. He gently set it down, and watched as the first wave came in, sweeping the bottle away from him. He smiled, and his heart grew lighter. He needed to get those words off his chest, and this was the only way he knew how.

"I hope you know how I truly felt, Kat. I hope you didn't leave thinking I never loved you the way you loved me, because I did." 

Topher turned around, and began to march home. There were tears welling in his eyes, but he didn't mind. 

credits: elegant & paul evans

[kap]

Amethyst Zaveri

template by Punki of Adoxography

I know you, that gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

On this bright, sunny morning, I awoke to light piercing through my eyelids from outside my window. I opened my eyes slowly, a slight groan surfacing from me, too, as I wasn't quite ready to get out of bed yet, but was going to make an attempt to anyway. I didn't have any plans today, as it was the weekend and, well, because I never have plans to begin with. Regardless, getting out of bed to go do something wasn't a bad idea.

When I finally emerged from where I'd been sleeping, I got dressed into some nice clothes, as I usually did. I didn't find purpose in dressing in 'comfy' clothes, because they just made me feel lazy. Then, I brushed my hair, which, as of the moment, is colored a light shade of purple- lavender, perhaps. My hair seems to be in different colors and styles almost all the time, which is something I love that I'm able to do.

After eating my breakfast, I grabbed my relatively heavy purse- as I kept way too much stuff in there- and headed out the door.

I walked the shoreline for a while that morning, just taking in the view and the breeze that rustled my hair. It was truly quite nice, all of it, even if my hair did get messed up a little bit because of it all. It was really very relaxing.

When I'd finally had enough of my walk, I started back up the shore to head home. It was then that I saw a boy, and decided it'd be good to greet him. I picked up my pace to catch up with him a little bit.

"Hey, how are ya?" I greeted him.

That was when I noticed tears in his eyes.

Oh, maybe I should've kept to myself, I thought.

"Oh, um, are you okaaaa-" I started to speak but slipped and fell, getting a faceful of the ground beneath me. Now my clothes were filthy, too. I looked back up, embarrassed.

Clumsy. I've always been clumsy. I trip, I fall, I crash into things. I'm a mess, really.

Why did that have to happen now, though, when I'm trying to make sure someone's okay?

---

lyrics: "Once Upon a Dream" from Disney's Sleeping Beauty

[bakabekkers]

' T o p h e r

"Sometimes its not the strength
but gentleness that cracks
the hardest shells."

My face contorted slightly, upon realizing somebody else was in my presence. I tried to remain stoic, true to myself.. But it was no use. She had seen my tears, seen my internal suffering first hand. The girl before me wore a lavender colored hair, carried a purse, and kept herself well. "Oh, um, are you okaa-" her voice trailed off as her feet came out from underneath her. I didn't know if it was wise to laugh, or continue weeping to myself. 

I bent down, quickly, grabbing her arm and making sure she was alright. "Yeah, i'm okay." I choked out, wiping a tear away. I thought of not telling her what was bothering me, but I decided that it would be okay. After all, I may never see her again after today.

"My best friend, Katrina. She passed away a few weeks ago, it seemed our relationship finally hit its stride. I loved her so much.."

I realized my voice trailed off, out of awkwardness. I didn't want to bother the girl anymore, so I switched topics to help save myself from such an inopportune moment as this one was.

"Enough of me. Are you alright? The grounds slippy these times of day.."

"My names Topher, how bout you?" I tried my best to smile humbly. I nodded my head at her, and brushed some of my to the side of my head.

credits: elegant & paul evans